In many online circles of unhappily single men and women, attractiveness is heralded as the barrier to romantic access and relationship success; and whilst it is true that an individual's appearance determines how receptive others are to communicating with them, it does not improve their ability to approach or communicate with interested parties.
As someone who grew up being bullied for being different - something most individuals within these circles can relate to - This harmed my ability to approach others, and made me shy away from all forms of relationship building. After developing into adulthood, I now draw the attention of attractive women; but, although I may have changed on a surface level, I am still imprisoned by insecurity and approach anxiety towards women I am attracted to.
For men and women hoping that changing their appearance will all solve their dating problems, I am here to say that it will not. Moreover, I am here to share with you the disturbing consequences of standing out in public...
As a naturally blonde in shape guy, attractive women are now drawn to me; but unfortunately, attractive women are not the only people whom are drawn to "attractive" men... the male creeps of my city target me Every Day, wherever I go; staring, stalking, performing vile gestures, invading my personal space, and even threatening violence when I oppose them. These is no public denunciation of this predatory behaviour; in fact, there in an increasing number of instances where it is even encouraged and celebrated...
The attraction between myself and wide hipped women is two way, but being targeted by one-way creeps is a sad reality that I (and many women) have to survive every commute we take. The prevalence and boldness of creeps is increasing with the decline of people willing to stand up for their fellow citizens; nowadays, almost everyone is only out for themselves.
So, as a message to disheartened and restless men and women, you need to work on your inner selves; your shell does not improve the confidence, composure or conversational skills you need to return interest in someone who likes you. Follow me by improving your facial hygiene, washing your hair, showering daily, wearing clothes that fit, working out every weekend morning; you can get to where I am and more if you turn your restlessness into action - just like I did.
And as a message to women whom befriend predatory males that target other men, you are facilitating and emboldening the very same predatory behaviour you yourself are vulnerable to. We need to stand up to this behaviour in all it's forms, no matter who or what these perpetrators claim to be; their victims Do Not Consent and their objections are Ignored.
Unlike Male-To-Female harassment, there is No public awareness campaigns or denunciation of Male-To-Male harassment; This Needs To Change. Intersectional Feminism presently associates itself with, and supports, Male-To-Male perpetrators; the ignorance they cast towards male victims of sexual harassment they play a part in creating must stop. And when a victim stands up to their harasser, Feminists must not try to excuse the perpetrators actions, which they have tried to do far too often; their hypocrisy on sexual harassment knows no end: if it's not okay for them, it's not okay for men.
An all too common response from male predators is their attempt to pressure their victim and threateningly question their sexuality; I experienced this yesterday when I was cornered by two men on the train home [I stood my ground and left when the train driver intervened]. This is the same as two straight men cornering a lesbian in the street and trying to pressure her into sex; it is Vile, Grotesque, and Illegal.
Do not pray for good looks like I did; there is a price attached to every gift you receive in life, and some are not worth the cost.
What Girls & Guys Said
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1Opinion
I was with you until the feminism bs. The audacity to write a special message to whine at women and even embolden your complain about feminism when you're talking about being harassed by other men. You made it sound like women are the responsible ones. Congrats for applying the first rule of misogyny : Women are responsible for what men do. Why not adress the men in question and the men who befriend and protect them over anything else? You're not without knowing the bro code, right? Even though it has been watered down over the years, Feminism is for women, it doesn't owe anything to men. There are feminists, the ones that society still actively shuts up, who did talk about the male violence affecting other males. Even if they didn't need to. If you want to whine at a movement for not doing anything for your cause it's the Men's rights movement. Ooh yeah I forgot this isn't a real men's rights movement, they don't give a shit about abused men unless it's about bashing women... Anyway. Anything makes you a target for creepy males. Ugly man? Get bullied. Attractive man? Get sexually harassed or violent competition. Ugly woman? Is basically doomed in the male dominated society in general. Attractive woman? Well you know what happens to them. Children, ederly and disabled people of any sex? Even easier target for anything creepy males want to do. The only real solution is shifting to a society where men don't have this much power. In such a society men who are sex offenders wouldn't be shielded and protected by other men as much and more thing would be put in place to protect potential victims from them.
I agree with your defence, but I have personally experienced women who try to defend these men when I confront them In The Act.
As an update, one stalked me onto a bus on Saturday, followed me around it, and when I repeatedly refused he pushed me off and started beating me: he got me onto the ground, but thankfully I was strong enough to get back on my feet and chase him away. Noone stopped to help when he got me on the ground, and when I started fighting back an onlooker said to "just leave him, it's not worth it", No, I chased that predator on his heels half way across the common, before turning back to collect my bag and knocked off glasses.
Right now, as I am eating breakfast at Tesco [UK Walgreens] and waiting for my doctors appointment, I am being harassed by a guy beside me.
But today I have my body-cam in hand, I told him to stop, and I told the waitress to keep an eye on him.
Your assessment of male power is not only wrong, it is entirely backwards: If you look back to "patriarchal times" they assisted men who prayed on boys or beat them up in the street. If a man preyed on someone's sister, friend, or relation, the man of the house would hunt them down; Nowadays, Men are kneecapped by laws protecting these creeps's "Sexual Identities" and refusing to even acknowledge male victims - heck, the Police tried to make out it was my fault for saying No!
It is Intersectional feminism that was campaigned in defence of these predatory "victim" groups, and all Men's Rights Activists who bring up the consequences are laughed out of the room by Women; always with the excuse of "we have it worse", as if that solves either's concerns?
There is messaging EVERYWHERE against men approaching women, it's more than half the reason I can't speak to them, but there's NOTHING in defence of men, and even bringing it up subjects you to being disbelieved, told you're somehow at fault, or laughed at.
There are a minority of Feminists [smaller than Terfs] who talk about male violence against males, yet they almost always say it's the fault of Masculinity; FFS, it's the complete opposite: These predators are feminine, and the men who refuse to stand up for others are emasculated into uselessness. Men (in the patriarchal sense) are meant to Stand Up for their fellow citizens, sons, daughters, wives, neighbours and countrymen - this has been systematically quashed by wave after wave, film after film, parade after parade.
There is No Bro Code. If there was, my generation hasn't inherited it. To me, it's something only women bring up. You said it yourself; Feminists lie that they care about men, and they only talk about our problems when their proposed solution is solving it as an afterthought after assuming total control if society, and MRAs only focus on their personal grievances with Divorce courts and custody. Children are protected for the most part by their parents, but story hours are becoming more and more common... . So that leaves lonely men with no-one but themselves, alone in a never ending fight; no sisterhood to receive comfort or support from, no support groups. Nothing but their empty hands.
[My mobile autocorrected the word "assaulted", in my second reply, to "assisted". This is an error]. The creep in the cafeteria lingered for half an hour, fake coughed multiple times, and now finally left.
[ The only real solution is shifting to a society where men don't have this much power ]
this is the type of society he's talking about existing right now. and your hostile response to him is only further proof of it. he can't say anything critical of women without you labeling him a misogynist
you are right about lack of emphasis and awareness of those problems