Outdated Gender Roles: What's wrong with society?

Outdated Gender Roles: What's wrong with society?

I tend to be a very quite person, except on things that peeve me. One thing in the world that REALLY grinds my gears are Gender Roles/Stereotypes. These crazy outdating things that not only screw up the dynamics of relationships, but of society as a whole.

Because of these things it's hard for relations between men and woman to function normally. It's hard for people to embrace their natural selves because men don't want to be called "pansies" and women don't want to be called "butch". It's hard for LGBT people to be accepted into "normal society".

And it'll only get worse because these roles are being passed on from genertation to generation.

Both men and women are obviously victims to these things and thanks to: Google and https://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15910/1/List-of-Gender-Stereotypes.html .I've decided to list a few and whats wrong about them.

Women Gender Roles/Stereotypes:

1] Women are supposed to be pretty and be looked at: This one probably has to be the biggest downfall for women. From a young age we are told that we need to constantly worry about our looks and a man will only like us if we are attractive. They make tiny makeup kits marketed to little girls to "play with". Images of the "perfect woman" are thrown at us from every direction and if we don't adhere to the qualifications we are less of a woman, and not worthy. Look around GAG for instance and you will find dozens of girls asking if they are worth it. Woman go to EXTREME surgical measures to be "perfect" and/or diet to the point of starvation. This is probably the biggest thing that needs to stop. Because despite what society says it doesn't matter what you look like.

2] Women are meant to be the "damsel in distress"; never the hero: To me this can be interpreted multiple ways. Literally as to where in a bad situation we are unable to do anything, which is the biggest BS because there are MANY bad ass ladies out there in our military/police/etc which defend us every day. Not damsels but HEROES. I'm proud to say I'll be one of them soon. Another interpretation is in that men do EVERYTHING for the women. This is the BIGGEST pet peeve of mine. Nothing makes me more mad than a man who thinks I always need his help, that he needs to cater to my every whim and demand because "hes the man". Although I will never deny a mans help, if I can do it myself I will. Whether its lifting a box or paying for a date. Men should do things for us because they want to and because we deserve it, not because society tells them. Like wise ladies, spoil your man every once and a while.

3] Women are supposed to cook and do housework/Women are to be submissive and do as they are told: I put two together because I think these two go hand in hand. Although I do personally agree, any good woman should know how to cook, I don't agree they are SUPPOSED to. Same with housework. In a good worth while relationship things are EQUAL. Not one bossing the other around, which is why I combined the submissive thing. Because in a good worth while relationship there shouldn't be a submissive. Unless your talking sexually :p

Male Gender Roles/Stereotypes:

1] Men do not cook or sew or do crafts/Men do not do housework and they are not responsible for taking care of children: Piggiebacking off of the last female stereotype, I know plenty of men who cook. My boyfriend being one of them. He's actually very fond of it and I love it. We work together in the kitchen like a well oiled machine and it brings us closer together. I know, thry word of mouth of course, a few men who take care of the kids while mommy makes the bacon and these men love it. Some men have a better sense of being a parent than ladies do and thats completely fine. Said men shouldn't feel like less of a man because they rather stay home and cook and clean while their lady works. These men are bigger men in my opinion because they aren't afraid to bend and stereotypes.

2] Men are in charge, they are always at the top: Honestly this is kinda a poor attempt to piggieback off the second female one. I'm surprised "men always pick up the slack" wasn't more clearly defined on this list. Since its kinda of a thing. Stroll through this website and you'll find a lot of "men should pay first" "men should do this" "men should ask the girl out first" "men should initate sex first" etc. I honestly feel bad for men because you guys have a LOT to do according to society. I personally once again think the slack should be even. Women should pay for dates sometimes, women should ask guys out sometimes, and women should iniate sex (without being considered a slut, another steretype surprisingly also not mentioned). 50/50 equal partnership.

3] Men do "dirty jobs", they are not secertaries, teachers, cosmetologists/Men enjoy outdoor activities: This is more for those men who are under the LGBT caterogory but also for straight men for which "manly" things don't appeal to them. Straight or Gay or Trans, sports, cars, booze and fucking all the time aren't always appealing. Just like some chicks don't like shopping all the time. This is probably one of the most harmful stereotypes for men because they will get bullied if they don't fit in with the norm. Just as looks drive girls to do insane things, not fitting in with "the guys" can drive a guy equally crazy.

I can only hope our society soons abadons all these things and just let people be people. Just as we are not defined by our race, or our sexual orentation, we shouldn't be defined by our gender.

Outdated Gender Roles: What's wrong with society?
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Klara-Hitler

    "1] Women are supposed to be pretty and be looked at"

    Women aren't supposed to be pretty and be looked at, Women "want" to be pretty and looked at innately.

    If you do not feel this feeling maybe you're something super special. do not generalize your personal feelings to what women should be or believe in. it isn’t a good thing to do. If women themselves didn't want to be pretty and looked at then they would stop it in the last 50 years that they are fairly free. While we see It is the same as 50 years ago now and it even grew to an unnatural level in some countries like America with unhealthy pop cultures.

    Also seeking physical beauty isn't something specific to women. Men too want to be good looking and handsome. But here the difference between sexual attraction of men and women puts less emphasis on the physical traits of men and more emphasis on the physical traits of women. But that difference is not even that great and physical and psychological traits both matter for both sexes when they want to choose a partner.

    So women aren't supposed to be pretty and looked at, they simply want it.

    "2] Women are meant to be the "damsel in distress"; never the hero"

    Again, there were women in charge from very long ago. People who claim such things as women never did something because they were told they can't do it simply don't know history. We had queens and great women at least from 2500 years ago who had power in the most patriarchal societies like Greece and Persia. The Lacedaemonian women who owned lands, the Ionian Artemisia who was a queen and military commander, many poets either in Greece or in the east, there were many women who had important roles and never got degraded by the society or expected to be something else.

    So if a woman truly wanted and was in the right place to be able to act upon what she wished she became what she wanted from ancient times.
    And nowadays the only difference made for both men and women is that more of both of them...

    • ... are provided with the necessities of life and so more of them are able to act upon what they want and fulfil their dreams.

      Now here the other women who don’t do anything special simply don’t seek that life. Not all women want to be policemen and firefighters and etc. The majority prefer many other styles of living.

      “3] Women are supposed to cook and do housework/Women are to be submissive and do as they are told”

      This is a funny one. Women were never supposed to “just” do the housework especially in the farmer nations. Between nations like Germans that their economy was based greatly on agriculture women worked shoulder to shoulder to their men outside of the house. We see it then we see it now.

      But the reason that the main work of women was inside the house was greatly because of the heavy physical labor involved in any work and jobs outside of the house that made them almost impossible for women to do them. So when...

    • …sharing jobs men chose what they were able to do best and their physical power let them to do and women chose what they were able to do best that was working in the house cooking, most women just love to cook, raising their children that again is a work loved by most if not all women and etc.

      Some women want to show they were oppressed because of being expected to work in the house while it was actually 'Men' who had it worse in this sharing of jobs. It was men who died in battles, it was men who died in mines, it was men who died in timber industry, it was men who got tuberculosis working as blacksmiths and various diseases working outside.

      So this sharing of jobs not only wasn’t for oppressing women but worked greatly in favor of women.
      Still, women had many works outside of the house in farms or lighter industries.

      Now in today’s world we don’t have the issue of the heavy physical labor in many works anymore.
      For example you want to become a “police” in today’s world...

    • …If you wanted to become a soldier 700 years ago you had to wield a 20 kilogram sword with one hand and a 50 kilogram shield with the other hand while wearing a heavy armor. You simply couldn’t even move with that equipment. And what would you do then? Sit and cry? No you had to do something to support your society and family and housework or taking part in light industries or agriculture was the work for you.

      But now all you have to practically do is to learn martial arts and be strong enough to wield and shoot weapons that are fairly easier to use compared to a sword in a one on one combat.

      So many works in general became easier to do especially physically, and so women are more able to take part in many of them though still many of them like mining are very hard and we see they are populated by men.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • ComDom

    Why Gender Roles are Natural and Okay.

    The only way gender roles could be 'bad' would be if there was no such thing as evolutionary psychology and biology, probably among of fields of science. Fortunately there are both and we live in reality. Those stereotypes are not coincidence if a person takes in the whole picture. They emerged consistently and lasted for tens of thousands of years (if not more) throughout the world even among independent societies that had no communication with each-other.

    Onto the biology: males are driven by a primary hormone, even today, called testosterone. Testosterone causes aggression, higher muscle development, lower body fat, and fat distribution among the mid section and upper body predominantly, among other things. Estrogen is the chemical that drives females and it is essentially the opposite of the male hormone. It causes traits that are more suitable for females to take a more gentle role for the sake of offspring.

    Those hormones also caused psychological development that causes females to seek providers and protectors and males to assume those same roles. That is not stereotype. That is a fact.

    Culture has developed based on those principles and has only skewed away from that in the last hundred years or so (presumably) due to feminism. But all feminism does, unless it somehow alters biology, is to cover up evolution. It doesn't remove its effects.

    As far as LGBT goes they (mostly) are anomalies. They are genetic and environmental malfunctions, if you will. The point isn't to say they are bad it's just that biology has glitches sometimes. So gender roles are just a tendency.

    Women are supposed to be pretty because "pretty" is a sign of health and the potential for healthy offspring. Women can be heroes. Most chefs are men, especially the most famous and successful. Women don't necessarily have to be submissive. Men were and probably are leaders because of evolution. Men were and are teachers.

What Girls & Guys Said

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  • ladsin

    First, I agree with part of your statements. It is true that there are some gender roles impressed by society that have either are no longer relevant, or were sexist and ignorant originally. These sorts of gender roles should be destroyed for the freedom of all peoples. That being said, I do think we as a society are making leaps and bounds for equality of all peoples regardless of race, creed, sex, or sexual orientation. By no means am I insinuating that we are perfect, but we are trying to better our society. Now, on to the specific situations that you mentioned starting with the women. 1.) Yes, and no. If you wish to find a suitor (whether you're male or female) attractiveness and cleanliness are imperative. This does not mean that woman's only worth should be from her appearance, but you must admit that as visual creatures appearance does matter (for both men and women) 2.) To an extent I agree again, women should not be coddled and treated like babes who cannot defend themselves, that is derogatory and demeaning. However, looking at biology it is evident that males (to a great extent) are the more physically powerful of the two. Even in the military and police forces women are held to lower standards to enforce "equality" and this is BAD. It tells women they cannot perform to the same standards of men, and is especially detrimental in combat units you are putting peoples lives on the line with people not held to the same standard of fitness. 3.) This is probably one of the few I totally agree with you on, it is a disgusting practice. This is largely due to antiquated moral codes passed down through religions that say women are not as capable as males, and therefor, in order to ensure female subjugation women are deprived of a means of self sufficiency. MALES: 1.) This is historically based when men were the hunters and females the homemakers, but yes in today's society no longer necessary. (answer too long, last two for males covered in next answer)

    • ladsin

      Males: 2.) Again, this is largely from an historical and religious context that taught women were not as capable as men and therefor must be lead. For example, the Bible tells women that it is a shame to speak in church and if they wish to learn they must ask their husbands and obey him. This again is sickening, women are cognitively equals, well... mostly bell curve shows some discrepancy but for all intents and purposes we are equal in cognitive abilities. 3.) what you said in the title and what you said below are different. I think you are guilty of stereotyping here. I know many homosexuals who are extremely masculine and enjoy many of the same things I do... Just because someone is homosexual doesn't mean they're effeminate... BUT moving past that, there are some biological reasons why men prefer competitive sports like football etc (testosterone) and why women tend to prefer social "games" (estrogen?), but sure we should all be able to work. getting long again so goodbye for now!

    • ManaX

      I relevance to the bible quote, there is historical reasoning behind that. Although, I doubt you'd be bothered to look into it even if it would be a cure for your sickness ;p

    • ladsin

      @ManaX my sickness? I admitted that there was a historical reason behind it, same as the biblical condoning of the act of raping women. Morality evolves as a culture and society as a whole does. A few thousand years ago oppression of women was not deemed to be bad. This could be to many factors, of which one is that they are the truly "sinful" creatures (not just the bible but many other religions, but now, in the vast majority of the world we find those notions sickening and thus outlaw them.

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  • neofuture

    Holy fetus on a stick, gender roles only exist if you think they do, do whatever you want you wanna be a dolled up preppy girl do it, if you wanna be a feminist downer of all men do it, if a dude wants to fucking knit a scarf do it. I have no idea why it's so hard for pepole to just do what they want. Just fucking do it don't think about it

    • HuckyHucky

      THIS. Some people go around acting like anti-gender superheroes ridding the world of inequality one unnecessary rant at a time (not aiming this at you @Asker, just speaking in general). I say, shut up and do you. All the talking is bullcrap. Actions will always speak louder than words and most normal human beings seriously do not give a crap about what you're doing with your life anyway because they're too busy worrying about themselves. Go find people who share your viewpoints and interests instead of trying to get the whole world to agree. Life is too short to be ranting about this crap instead of just doing you.

    • neofuture

      Amen sister

    • LilWeezey

      @neofuture @HuckyHucky

      I totally agree. But I needed to vent because I hate being told by people that I shouldn't feel bad that my boyfriend pays for basically everything we do. Because " it's his job as my boyfriend"

      I certainly dont feel worthy of spending his hard earned money

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  • Werewolfy

    I don't get it. First women moan about the lack of gentlemen, the next they refuse to use old models. Well you can't have both! Establishing some sort of gender roles ensures conformity and order. It is supposed to maintain stable society as a whole and efficient. Not damage it. I'm not saying it is good or bad. Only that it has been working quite well for millenia. Furthermore to slap all societies under the common denominator of the United States is simply wrong. There are plenty of countries around the world where more or less stable gender roles are not only maintained but demanded by both sexes. Where more traditional values are not only harmless but widely accepted as the best possible structure of society. Just because American women demand to be treated as men does not mean it is the same everywhere. The former USSR had very strict rules when it came to equality. Women worked alongside men in most professions. Guess what. They didn't like it. In fact most women in Eastern Europe demand to be treated as equal only in the legal sense and as women in the interpersonal relations. In fact they go to great lengths to be more feminine (including those stereotypes) to make sure they end up with a man who treats them like that. They had all of what American women demand to have and they ran from it like it's a curse. I belive it is exactly our genders and sexuality that defines how we live out our lives. Otherwise you get chaos and end up unhappy. Then again this is just my opinion.

    • It is not chaotic if you bother to see people for who they are and not just what you assume them to be like based on their sex

    • Werewolfy

      I rarely make assumptions when I meet strangers, however some basic expectations are always necessary just like you expect the laws of nature to be the same at a different country. Everyone has them. Otherwise you get exactly the chaos and confusion I was talking about. If you grow up in a society that says men should be tough and women gentle you expect that to be the norm for the future. Then suddenly it changes. There is no longer that unwritten rule. You end up unprepared and incapable of finding a mate. And even if you do, you'll seek someone who has your point of view. Not the popular one. Is that a better alternative? I think no. Then again I do not force my opinion. I simply voice it.

  • bomba78

    Yes those "standards" annoy the hell out of me as well. Thankfully, at least in western Europe , this is shifting more and more towards equality. Many young men I have talked to are much more "neutral" and don't make much of a difference anymore between gender roles.

    I am against gender roles myself, but it is important to appreciate gender differences. Men and women have different traits and are better at different stuff. The important thing is to put those strenghts to work and let them complement each other.

    Also, I believe, the word "feminism" and what it means has been misunderstood by both women and men somewhat.
    It doesn't mean that a woman has to be anti-men, not at all. All it has to mean is that women should have the right and the possibilities to do whatever it is they decide to do with their lifes. Freedom of choice.

    Feminism doesn't mean that men are not allowed to be a gentlemen anymore. I have heard women say "I can open my own goddamn door". I think this is the wrong attitude about it.

    I am a modern woman, who will gladly pay half of the bill of everything and insist on equal oportunities. But I also appreciate men for all the good things they are.

  • Jersey1

    Imhave a traditional marriage and it works well. Your take has some simplistic views of it though. My wife is happy, we have a great family amd pretty much everything we want. It has worked this way for thousands of years so it works. Oh, and my wife wanted to stay at hime and raise the kids... In many ways she is lucky in the life she has had. You just dont understand it.

  • There is a sever lack of compassion for men and a sort of over protection for women, like treating them as if they are children. This is at the heart of traditionalism and feminism.

  • Izzy2102

    Obviously there's a problem with putting people into categories as traditional gender roles do, but I don't even think that's that bad.

    What I think is way worse is that we selectively took out some parts, but not others. Overall leading to a lot of confusion and frustration
    Going with damsel in distress thing, well ya but at least in the 50s and 60s it was right in your face
    3.bp.blogspot.com/.../...neath-planet-apes-007.JPG
    Whereas today you have those weird characters like tomb raider who seem like strong women at first, but really are more liking fighting sex toys. Or that chick from transformers who is essentially a pretty girl that knows stuff about cars and is otherwise completely irrelevant to the plot
    static.tumblr.com/.../tumblr_static_large.jpg And I don't know if you've seen that pompeii movie that came out last year but those people sure as hell couldn't decide what they wanted. They were trying to make her independent and strong, standing up to social norms, yet she was a liability to everyone around her and need saving at every turn

    I can relate more women in the media but I see that for men too. I think the 80s and 90s were more liberal than today. Full house after all is a show about three men raising kids.
    In in sitcoms today on the other hand fathers are more of a liability to their wives who screw up their children's life constantly

    • That is why we would need female characters in movies like what we had in the game called Remember Me

  • RationalMale

    Lol. I think the fact that women made 50 Shades of Grey into one of the top ten bestselling books in recorded human history says that most women simply get wet at the idea of submitting to a strong, sexy man.

    • A lot of girls also hate that stupid ass book, so not all of us like being beat and raped.

    • @whachaking

      a fact that gladdens my heart. those books a far extreme and twisted.

  • PonyCar

    I hate gender roles for the simple reason that it frequently ends up with the less-qualified/skilled person doing the job. In the same vein that gender roles prevent people from being themselves, I know many females who are far better managers of their time than males and are able to get far more done in the same amt of time, yet the male is the one asked to accomplish a long list of tasks (because 'he's the man and supposed to provide a good home for his family to live in') while the female is 'supposed' to just take care of the kids.

    My dad was a way better parent than my clinically narcissistic mom, but because he was the man, he wasn't allowed to stay home and parent. My mom, who had a way higher education level (& job prospects) could've gone into the medical field and made a MUCH more efficient provider than my dad, but because she was the woman, her job automatically became parenting (which she sucked at).

    The crap-tastic thing about all this is, (aside from my family literally breaking apart thanks to the above issues), even if my mom HAD gone into the medical field, gender roles would have automatically made her a lower salary earner than my dad because women weren't supposed to be doctors (the shot-callers) they were supposed to be nurses (the support). For those wondering, my mom was valedictorian of the college with the top medical program in the country.

    Whoever is better at the job, should do the job. That's it.

  • kheserthorpe

    TBH, I think these are a mix of cultural traditions and innate.

    I grew up pretty much expecting almost no gender roles, though I would say number three for guys existed: I was expected to be fine with 'dirty' stuff, where my sister wasn't. But the other points, I was not raised with.

    So I was pretty ill prepared for how dating and attraction actually work.

    I think in a lot of areas that are probably more liberal, number three for women is dead, number one for men is dead. Women tend to do more housework, because women tend to care more. But most men i know do some, most men i know take pride in their cooking, and really nobody i know especially expects women to be better at cooking. And both are equally into their kids.

    Number 1 for women? It's a massive driver of their dating success. That's just the reality. It's not likely to change any time soon.

    Number 2 for men? I don't know if men have to be in -charge- but they have to have their shit together and be capable and confident. Otherwise good luck getting a woman who wants you.

    I'm not sure on number 2 for women. I think some of it is letting men shine, but it's really hard to say if men pursue women who need help because they anticipate her being attracted to their ability to do so, or if they actually prefer it. I have known women here who commented their lack of 'needing' their husband was likely a problem in their marriage. And I must confess I feel an -emotional- draw to pretty women who -need- my help in some way. I don't consider that healthy, but it's there.

    A lot of the simple 'conventions' like cooking have been destroyed at least where -I- live (I'm aware that's NOT true everywhere). But when it comes to who people actually want to sleep with and date, the old instincts are there: men look for pretty women who are sexually faithful to them and perhaps sweet, and women look for men who are powerful and capable.

    Unless people start choosing sex partners differently, then kids will adapt to that

  • heavensgift2girls

    The problem I see is that the traits that men and women tend to be attracted to are directly linked to gender roles. While people shouldn't be made fun of for not fitting into a gender role, the fact is that people that are too different will have more difficulty finding a partner.

    Women are far more likely to be attracted to men that serve as warriors or protectors such as cops, firemen, or a member of the military. Men on the other hand are far more likely to be attracted to women that serve as nurturers, and caregivers such as nurses or maids.

    If we never encourage our children to develop at least some traits the other gender will find attractive then they will end up like the whiny nice guys that can't get a woman interested, or the whiny career woman that can't manage a relationship. We have to make some compromises in our life to please our partners. It is unreasonable to think that we should never compromise and work on traits the other gender actually cares about.

    Currently I see such a push away from gender roles that I for one think it is unhealthy. It has reached a point were women feel ashamed of wanting to become housewives, and boys are being shamed for wanting to play cops and robbers. There is a balances between forcing kids down an gender role, and trying to completely stamp out all signs of gender roles. Society instead seems to only be able to reach towards one extreme or the other.

  • spuitkaas

    Great take! I want to add something. What really grinds my gears is that women are supposed to never talk about a sexual subject and if someone else does that, they have to nervously giggle. It's not really a written rule, but I've just noticed that and if you talk about something sexual, you're a slut. We are human and like to have sex too.

  • BarbaraP

    I have to say that I grew up listening to all those stereotypes and I am a victim of them. It's when I started thinking for myself that I understood how stupid they all are. They make us think that's how things go and how they should go... they make us think it's necessary or else the whole world would fall into pieces.

    I won't say that men and women are absolutely equal biologically speaking, because we all know it's not true. But we're civilized enough to overcome each and everyone of these prejudices and consider ourselves as equal in other ways. Maybe women tend to have less physical strenght than men, but do they have to be the ones in charge because of that? Absolutely not. And nobody should be in charge, actually, whether we're talking about women or men.

    I know many women who are afraid of starting sex when they're in a relationship because since they were little they were told that women shouldn't do that, that girls should always be pure and classy. And sex is not classy.

    Aren't we all human beings?

    • I will never know how those prude women end up having kids to indoctrinate with their noise

    • BarbaraP

      Well, the women I'm talking about know that it's not good to be so prude and they're trying to overcome it. They're also victims of this prude mentality that their parents taught them. But you're right, there are many women who actually believe that girls should be kind of asexual and have sex just to conceive or satisfy their partners and that's so sick.

  • Editor

    Sounds like you believe that "gender roles" are artificially constructed and have no basis in nature. I disagree.

  • ReneDS

    i partially agree and disagree. I do think there should be clear distinctions between men and women. First of all , our physiques, and i know a lot of women don't want to hear it but women aren't special ops commandos in the army, never seen one. Did i see women in the army, yes and they all got the respect they deserved. how do i know because i was in the army myself. Anyway, lets continue. Actually everybody should do his or her best to look the best they can, not for others but for yourself. the way you look most of the times reflects the way you feel. thereby i disagree with your statement that its only women who have to look good. actually men stand longer in front of the mirror than women, when they have a date. i see so many guys working out for just 1 reason, not for themselves but because they want to look good for the girls. I think its a sort of narcacism feeding of from each other, men want women to look good, and women want men to look good, and thereby we forget the things that really matter in relationships , its called love. it is truly sad that the media creates such stereotypes, thats the part i completely agree with. also concerning the things we should do what first, like paying for a drink or aproaching someone they are interested in. Normally its men who do so, because we feel its our duty. we feel proud when we get a girl we like to talk to us, date with us and actually let things go as far as a relationship. would i like it if a girl aproaches me, yes i would but i also like to aproach a girl. i think its natural behavior, i see it in the animal kingdom and thereby woman are sometimes far more valuable than men , because you just need 1 men to creates hundreds of babies , but a women can only get 1 child at a time ( yes twins i know.. ) well anyway well written take!

  • AnissiaXO

    these rules were made up back then when people were even more ignorant and trying to envision a certain kind of life or "the way it needs to be " mentality, which obviously failed over time because it just doesn't work out for everyone to be put in a category.

    its not really stereotypes its more sexist i feel. Now that its 2015 men can do/be anything. women can do/be anything. and i love it that way :)

    cool post! xo

    • AnissiaXO

      Whoever thumbs dumb my shit you're retarded afffffff

  • H2OMan

    So I am a tomboy, I dress very androgenously (gender neutral). I am often called a lesbian, dyke, butch, etc. I have a petite body frame but come off masculine. I identify as female and bisexual. Men think I'm lesbian and women think I'm straight it sucks. I don't want to lead people to think I'm something or someone I'm not but society doesn't give many choices.

  • JensonStatement

    I think the problem starts where people put rules.
    Those stereotypes has always been there and they evaluate to stereotypes when you see that it's happening a lot and it looks like a kind of standard.
    Sometimes it's pissing me off about how people want to break rules and be original and so and so. All those gender this and thats. That submissive and in charge thing just irritated people when the wealth became better. when the society was all about hoping and surviving nobody complained about this. Now wealth and health became better and people can have acces to making money everybody wants to do now.

    This thing is that people now want to make money and so did feminism strikes in. They just complaining that females have to stay in house cooking and so on. They have more points to complain and protest but it all started with this and has a link with making money and be rich.

    Everybody can say that it's not true but it all has to do with money but escalated that quickly to all the other stuff. They don't know what they want and not women but everybody doesn't know what they want. A lot of people are clearly not choosing for a big change.

    Girls want to be a wife of a good men who has a good job.
    Boys want to have a good wife and a good job.
    But now people off everywhere and nowhere come to say what they want and using media and all to convice people that they are like that or shloud break of a chain. Which chain i don't know but there's a chain i see.
    On gay guy tells that they... now everyone is doing.
    On feminist tells that they... now everyone is doing.
    One model tells women to be thin... everyone wants thin women.
    Kim K got ass... everybody likes ass now.
    And people get confused. I've got confused and i tell you. Out of the blue and out of the nowhere comes another thing. Fat is called curvy or shit. Trans people can get in normal people toilets, 31 genders in New York City.
    It's not an chainbreaker it's a mindbreaker because people don't know what is happening right now.
    Every year there's some chnge over here.

    I can not understand what's happening right now.

  • rocelot

    Is it just me or are many other guys getting tired of women telling us what our issues are?

  • Accipiter

    I don't think there's anything wrong with gender roles. However I think they can be overstretched and extreme in certain circumstances.

    Men are attracted to women with feminine traits, and women are attracted to men with masculine traits. Being a guy, I love women who try to look pretty, have home making skills, nurturing and caring. I want a girl who I can open up to on an emotional level. Most girls I know like men for strength, protection, comfort, etc.

    I think gender roles originated thousands of years ago back to primitive history where technology was limited and males and females were certainly better at doing certain things. Testosterone and estrogen affect people differently.

    However, I don't think we need to live by gender roles as if they are a doctrine. For example, I hate it when people say that construction, mechanics, engineering, fixing stuff, politics, etc. are "men's work." And I hate it when people say nursing, teaching, interior design, cleaning, cooking, sewing, etc. is "women's work." You'll be interested to know that I know how to sew and I taught my older sister how to use a sewing machine. I also love working with tools and fixing cars.

    Therefore, gender roles hold the fabric of society together just as long as they aren't used to ridicule and discourage others from doing what they want to with their lives.

    • That wasn't the case when women liked guys who wore girls pants. Luckily that trend has been over for awhile.

    • Roycaryn

      The actual origin of modern roles trace their way back to the invention of the plow. Non-state societies have overwhelmingly been documented as having significantly less rigid gender roles than civilizations. The idea that a woman's unique, traditional sphere is the home for example only first appeared in the late 19th century.

    • Yc2K15

      ok mate, lets give our nail bags and our 400kg tool boxes to the ladies and see how long it takes to build a house. Physical strength is needed for this job. Women are very much involved in all of these jobs so If anyone says women aren't in construction then they are fucking stupid. Women dominate the BOH in construction. HR, Site supervisors, project managers and even factory managers. Women are more than welcome into trade but that doesn't mean they can do physical work.
      I know this might sound bad But I am in construction and I have met about 20 women on site, All were either on steroids and had tattoos or were cage fighters.

      There comes a harsh reality with even men who think they can do construction because they are men. They realise the job is far too difficult and physically and mentally exhausting. If I was a girl and my partner worked as hard as I do (16 hour days), I would be more than happy to cook him dinner...

  • BZerpy

    Lets look at this in a broad perspective. Humans, by their very nature are evolved that our genetics determine the best course of action we take in life. Cavemen didn't just decide that the men would hunt. No, genetics determined that.
    Like a river flowing it is pre determined by its river bed, if you dam the river the water will find other ways to flow. Much like gender roles. You cannot stop a genetic urge from both genders. Men will do men things women will do women things. Try to stop these urges and the natural flow of life will be interrupted and other things will change, like the damming of a river. The flow will change but the natural urge of a river to keep flowing will continue!!

    • I think there is more variation within the genders than between them. I have met lots of women for whom the 'natural flow' is more masculine than it is for me. I have also met lots of men for whom it is more feminine. Take Owner is advocating freedom to be how you want, and I agree with that.

    • LilWeezey

      Thanks brah

  • CreepyOldMan

    I support feminism and feminist brainwashing because it helps depopulate the planet and slays children from aberant irresponsible parents.

    It's in the same spirit as Babylon the Whore and functions as a destructive force in society, which is good because it destroys exactly those it needs to destroy--those who believe in it.

    So I'm all for it.

    • Except that those who still have kids in this world are mostly the dumb irresponsible parents at the age of 17 who haven't yet finished highschool and are having unprotected sex because they cannot afford contraception.

    • That's true, but statistically they die off. It isn't how many kids people have, it's the quality of their upbringing that tends toward survivability.

  • Unit1

    Very good take! Outstanding!

    "Stroll through this website and you'll find a lot of "men should pay first" "men should do this" "men should ask the girl out first" "men should initate sex first" etc. I honestly feel bad for men because you guys have a LOT to do according to society."

    Thank you, that was actually touching!

  • Just1n123

    One of my pet peeves is when someone says "you can't do this" or "you can't say that because you're a male" like honestly it's 2015, I can do whatever I want, girls out there you can do whatever you set your mind yo okay? Us guys can do whatever we want to do to, no more gender specific stuff in this world!

  • missamanda123

    Gender role/stereotype no #1:

    Women are not only expected to be pretty for men but women, too. The female gender is just as equally superficial and critical of each other as men are. In grade school, college and the workplace I've witnessed women shun or ostracize other women because of how they dressed, styled their hair, skin color, and/or weight, etc So, this expectation goes both ways.

  • PiuBelloAmante

    I think you have traditional gender roles misconstrued..
    MAN:Provider, Protector
    WOMAN:Supporter, Nurturer

  • DocT1977

    Me personally, I can never bring myself to endorse the notion of people pretending to be something that they are clearly not. Now with that said, What people choose to be behind closed doors is their business. But when they expect everyone else to support what they do, rather they agree with it or not, I disagree with that. I don't endorse or stand behind things I don't agree with.

  • Yc2K15

    Im disagree strongly because I am not a living stereotype like most of you fools.
    My relationship would blow people mind if that is how the world is perceived.
    I think this post was made for 1920. The Men and Women Gender roles you have described are completely not even close to how I was raised. Maybe its because too many parents aren't training kids to look after themselves and spoon feeding them so men are being lazy.
    Most girls I know can't cook at all or don't know how to use an ironing board. These things mean and meant absolutely nothing to me because I know how to do it and it gives me something to do. Also the control thing should be irrelevant. Why the hell does any gender want to be in control.
    Seems like you've had a real bad run with guys or I am living in a parallel dimension.

    • bunniexx

      That's weird to me people not knowing how to cook especially when they're adults. My mom never taught us how to cook but, all us ( except one brother) taught ourselves how. I took classes. There is just no excuse for either gender not knowing how to feed themselves or their family.

    • Yc2K15

      I think this post is extremely sexist and this is the REAL problem with society. That and Women's massive urge for materialism and cosmetic surgery... 99% of women I know make their own choices.
      You chose to be with that man so thats your fault. YOUR FUCKING FAULT NOT MINE!!!
      ALL it says is a bunch of bullshit that to be honest the more I read the more it pisses me off!!!
      You have basically just attacked men with a massive generalisation and stereotyped us all. Your post says nothing but bad about men.
      Men and women for fuck sake!!! WE ARE DIFFERENT please girls when will you learn! Women have to give birth and have periods almost their whole life and all the things girls go through. YET you will sit here and complain men do all the hard work... well OH MY GOD !!! take it as a gesture. Men are physically stronger than women so it makes sense for us to do the hard work because unfortunately a lot of women's body's are extremely fragile. get off tinder!!!

    • Yc2K15

      plus your vagina is extremely powerful and you have been taught by your mothers and sisters to use it to your advantage. If you are dating a man like this. Then simply don't give him the pussy. If he changes great, If it just makes it worse, leave him. there's plenty of dicks on the street.

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  • FighterGirl13

    So true I wish everyone could just be themselves not in a bad way though
    (Hey I moderate Tomboy and am proud of my tomboyish nature and will not change that for the world.) But you are right Stereyotypes are stupid.

  • DaddyRollingStone

    Hey, how about write about some actual gender roles for men instead of rephrasing what you said for women...

    Its men's job to
    1. Provide food and shelter to the family
    2. Protect family from imminent danger
    3. Procreate to ensure your values and culture are carried on to the next generation.

    I already wrote why I support traditional gender roles, although I could have written it better.

  • SakuraChii

    I think geneder roles aren't the same as before. I see plently of little boys playing with dolls or girls playing with cars. When I have kids I won't discourage my son from playing with a doll. I feel like it's more on guys than girls, most people may think it's normal for girls to play with a workplace set (hammer, saw building tools etc) but get upset when boys play with dolls or dress up.

    • When I was a kid, playing with a barbie was worse than death. That wasn't that long ago, maybe 10 years.

    • SakuraChii

      I was talking about young kids like children who are 4ish, and im not saying that anyone should be forced to play with certain toys im just saying that kids shouldn't feel bad for playing with toys of the opposite sex.

    • I liked playing with Barbies. I popped all their heads off and mounted them on sticks. lol

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  • Starfishlover

    I do like your take and I would like to be treated equally. But I LOOOOOOVE cooking for a man.

  • Homebakedcookies

    "1] Men do not cook or sew or do crafts/Men do not do housework and they are not responsible for taking care of children"

    That depends on were you live in the world. Move to Europe and it's not uncommon for men to both work, take care of their children AND do the house work.

    As for the rest. That's all natural genetics having it's impact on our bodies and minds. Let it go before you screw up society with your own ideas. You might not like it, but the way things are now works for the better. It doesn't mean you have to conform to it. There are groups in society were you can feel like you belong.

    • "Genetics" doesn't tell us what toys to play with as kids and what hobbies we can have and even whether we're submissive or not. That's society.

    • No. Genes don't tell us what toys to play with. But it tells us how we want to play with them.
      That's why boys playing with dolls or barbies usually do it quite violently. I used to throw them off cliffs with homemade parachutes and I had a blast. Everything is in the genes. And I mean everything.

      And no, genes don't decide what hobbies we can have. They decide what hobbies we WANT to have.
      It's up to you to follow your interests.

      And believe it or not, genes actually do decide wether you are submissive or not. Seeing as you are human however, you do have to option to fight your natural instincts. But it will not change them.

      If you're not happy with yourself, then change. But don't try to change everyone else to fit your personal ideas. There's a reason why modern feminism is disliked.

      Today you have more freedom than any human has ever had before. Try to use it with responsibility.

    • Yc2K15

      This crap just makes being a parent harder and gives other mums something to bitch about while they are having coffee with their 40 friends.
      You are making it sound like IF we act natural we are being gender discriminative because you know a little girl who likes motorbikes too.
      You women are the problem with earth and need to stop wining about things that are completely in your control as a mother and a woman.
      Sorry you have @been_waiting for so long.

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  • pooper89

    Lol at the Furby. Those kids look like they were drawn by the same artist who created Beavis and Butthead. Or King of the Hill.

    lol but really, gender roles give us a sense of order and identity in society. So I disagree profoundly with your take on it.

  • koko124

    Gender roles absolutely have a place in society:

    Men are physically attracted to women more than vice versa.

    Men are better at spatial tasks than women.

    When the economy goes south, the number of stay-at-home-moms increases (like right now)

    It's obvious where our strengths lie, and it's obvious that we personally prefer to play to our strengths. So why do we have to pretend that we don't?

    • Azara

      " its obvious where our strengths lie, and it's obvious that we personally prefer to play to our strengths. So why do we have to pretend that we don't?"

      Thays what white slave masters said about people who were enslaved by thdm.

      # first rule in " thinking". Nothing is obvious unless you're a follower.

    • koko124

      Nice hyperbolic and inaccurate comparison you have there.

      We're not talking about enslaving people, we're talking about the social acceptability of certain heuristics.

    • Actually, the data I've seen suggests that at least in some areas, the number of stay-at-home moms increases when incomes rise.

      Being a stay at home mother nowadays (as my wife is) is not a gender jail she's shoved into. It's a privilege women choose if their husband is rich enough.

  • Xelebrum

    Wow, an Internet article about gender equality that actually both acknowledges AND addresses the stereotypes/problems that men face too, not just women. Kudos to you.

    Seriously though I did enjoy this myTake, thank you for posting this! :)

  • Song4TheBroken

    Aren't you the same girl who said boys shouldn't have long hair because it looks 'girly'? If so, then this take is rather ironic.

  • been_waiting

    I simply think that no one should be shamed for adhering to gender roles or NOT adhering to them.

  • bijinbijinbijin

    I agree with @jersey1
    I think marriage tends to work out best for the couples who do it the traditional way. People complain that people are so old fashioned and that times have changed but yet its always the old fashioned types who are more equipped for marriage whereas the newer generation just can't do it, they have so many children out of wed lock and also fatherless children, they can't even find a compatible partner.

    My fiance's parents have been married for over 30 years. His mom makes way more money than his dad but They are still extremely old fashioned and they are both happily married and continue to go on dates with each other.

    I don't see anything wrong with traditional roles because they do work and they keep the household together but if you are not going to do it the traditional way then two people have to establish some kind of roles and acknowledge them and that's hard for the younger generation to do, they just don't know how to work together with a partner.

    • But raising your children and having a happy family isn't as important as standing up for your own rights and well being.

      *Sarcasm!!! Don't worry, I totally agree with you. =)

    • pooper89

      exactly, the woman in the marriage can still make a lot of money but there's nothing with still adhering to gender roles

  • Random_chick_2384

    Oh my gosh there is a furrbie in the picture! Run for your lives!

  • MelioraValidus

    Some people want to deny Patriarchy exists... this IS Patriarchy. So much of it is this gender role enforcement and the effects therein.

  • emmabee11

    All of these things piss me off, my dad acts very much like this and he won't even teach me how to paint a wall or put together a flap pack but i'm certain i can learn on my own at some point, he even makes remarks when i carry flat packs out of shops on my own. he says "you should of asked me to come with you, you could of hurt yourself" treating me like a weak tooth pick who needs his help for everything... and lately he's been so so lazy he hasn't put up my xena poster, he hasn't painted my room right, he hasn't put up my wall file... but because he won't teach me how to do all that he has power over my life... his behavior is unacceptable. So as you can see if us women constantly believe in these old fashioned beliefs us women will never get anything done... it's really not convenient for anyone.

  • muspelhem_5

    While we're at it, maybe they should switch the site name to guysaskgirls once in a while. And stop making women's usernames pink and men's usernames blue. Shake things up.

  • SkyloreDay

    Preach it girl, preach it. I believe the same thing.

  • Wintersmorning

    I completely agree with you. The only thing that really matters is how we feel, not how others feel. Let's not follow the gender stereotypes.

  • Aztecwarrior480

    My views are a little mixed towards the traditional gender roles. While I obviously don't mind it very much and even still go along with some of them, I do believe that society needs to mind their own business and let man and woman decide what lifestyle is best fit for them. For instance, a man never have to feel obligated to be a "hero" or treat women like defenseless princesses (since men often lump all women into the same group as children, elderly people and disabled people) nor just simply give women in general, special treatment. A woman should never have to feel obligated to be as feminine as possible or be a mother or anything that is deemed "feminine.

    While there's nothing wrong with everyone having different beliefs, they still have no right to impose it on others just because they strongly disagree with bending the traditional gender roles even just a little bit.

  • bde0001

    I perfer the old fashioned way, but if she wants, ill gladly stay at home and clean the house, yard, take care of children if she wants to go to work :)

  • Kinstrome

    By accepting that gender roles exist and influence people beyond their control, you are already accepting that society can't really be "wrong." If one generation is influenced by the previous one, the previous one must be influenced by its own predecessor, and so on to infinity. There are no antagonists here; there is only the logical progression of society.

    To allow the sexes to choose life paths they want, without feeling restricted by society, people need to understand why these stereotypes exist. There are obvious reasons why people associate certain life paths with one sex are another. Women are just generally better at reading emotions and understanding children, and men are just generally better at visuo-spatial judgment and heavy lifting. That doesn't mean members of either sex HAVE to conform to their sex's identified strengths, but it does mean it's quite understandable why they would begin to believe these things.

  • Mesonfielde

    People are sexist because they grow up to be sexist, tell others to be sexist, and look for sexist traits to find what they find attractive (as it is what they expect to find based on their sexist claims).

    Until people construct a proper ideal for HUMANS in terms of what qualities (or should I say, what behaviors) are positive and what are negative, unfortunately people will stay sexist, they will not bother with not being sexist as they don't want to admit they are wrong, then they make sexist claims to feel better about why their social relations are not worming as they would expect as people don't actually like being treated like an idolized stereotype).

  • tenofthepeaks

    i don't a problem with gender roles. they are made up of course, but then men and women are different.

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