My Boyfriend Got A Tattoo On His Bicep And I Hate Tattoos. Is This A Good Enough Reason To Break Up With Him?

[Anonymous]

it takes up most of his upper arm and doesn't look that bad because he has an almost perfect body
(even guys compliment him) but i have always found tattoos a huge turn off especially big ones.
he didn't have any when we stared dating. we have been dating for almost a year and i think i don't want to be with him anymore because of it. should i break it off and what do i say?

if your not comfortable with it just break it off

i don't think thats a good enough reason

do you boo

[Paris13]

I am trying not to believe that This "Tit for tat" will bring the whole world down around your relationship of more than a month of Mondays. If you love someone, you love them Unconditionally, no matter what they are wearing or what is Branded on their own body.
I know you wouldn't like it if he started hymning and hawing about something you wanted to put on your own self. And going 'Tit for tat' because he has gone ahead and Tattooed it, two wrongs don't make a right, in case you were giving this a thought.
If it is this much of a turn off and you hate it this much, maybe you could ask him politely to cover it. However, it could put a sour ball in his mouth where he tells you to either take it or leave it and in this case, a War of the Roses will start where you both would just end up calling it quits anyways.
Tell him you think it is better right now that you both take a Break from your relationship. There are things that are bothering you and you time alone to sort them out and you need some space to do this in...
Good luck. xx

[Anonymous]

that's literally the stupidest reason i've ever heard to break up with someone. you mean to tell me that you'd break up with a guy who is otherwise okay and you like him enough and i'm going to assume he treats you well enough…because he got a tattoo? seriously? it's not like a tattoo changes your character. do you think if you were the most amazing girlfriend in the world and all of a sudden you decided to dye your hair a different color and he hated that color he should break up with you? i'm pretty sure you'd be upset. if you need to break up with him just do it. but don't use that lame ass cop out as an excuse. just cause you're dating him doesn't mean he can't do what he wants. it's his body and he can mark it up if he wants. that to me sounds like a control issue you need to work out cause he doesn't need you if you're going to be that shallow anyway. i'm sick of people breaking up for no reason. i don't know what's wrong with young people but i swear they get more ignorant and selfish every day.

[Asker]

actually once i wanted dye my hair blond (i have light brown hair) and he says (and i knew) that he doesn't like blonde hair so i didn't dye it.. i knew he wouldn't like it and respected that.. and even that isn't permanent... i would think he would care about what i though too...

[Opinion Owner]

he does care about what you think, he's with you after all. but like I said, you don't control him, he doesn't control you. You can dye your hair and he'll have to deal. It's on your head not his. much like a tattoo is on his arm, not yours. Don't you think you'd want a deeper relationship that couldn't be disturbed by something as stupid as a tattoo? You aren't married to him. It'd be different then because spouses do need to talk abut things first. But you're just his girlfriend. You'll probably break up over something equally as stupid later (hopefully it'd be something less idiotic). You're adults. Do what you want, he'll do what he wants. And if this makes you consider breaking up with him, maybe you should. He deserves someone less shallow than that.

[MaskedSanity]

I'm not a fan of tattoos either. My boyfriend keeps talking about getting a massive sleeve type.
Am I thrilled? No.

Will I break up over it? Of course not, that's just retarded.

I think it's best if you broke up with him. You clearly don't love him, if something as menial as a tattoo would make you think breaking up instead of getting over yourself is the better solution.

If you were in it just for the sex, then I can understand personal preference overriding it.

But if you claim to love him, I call bullshit.

[SandPlanet]

If you care that little about him compared to how much you care about your personal aesthetics-preferences, then I think it's best for him if you do break up. I'm sure he wouldn't want to waste another year of his life investing into a relationship with someone who cares so little about him.

[bubblebuddy123]

You tell her

[Asker]

i don't care about physical at all... if he was ugly and had no tattoos that would be fine.. i just don't like the way it looks.. looks to be honest kinda trashy.. im sure if i did the same he wouldn't like it.. what if i got one on my neck..

[SandPlanet]

I don't think anything of what you just said contradicts my answer. Read my answer again, maybe.

[MaskedSanity]

Hear hear, SandPlanet.

[ilovesexyfeet]

I don't like them either but its no reason to split because of it if everything else in the relationship is good. What if u split and get a guy that would never have one but he treated u like shit? Is it worth being that unhappy just so u can look at him with no tattooing?

[Asker]

i wouldn't date someone like that... and i don't even want to know what my mom will say next time we go over..

[ilovesexyfeet]

I meant if he turned out like that for instance if u split with this guy that seemingly is great apart from a new tattoo, and got with another guy and he turned out to be a prick, then would it have been worth splitting and ending up with a prick just cos he had no tattoo? I know you'd probably finish him when u found out he was a prick but my point is clear enough, is it really worth splitting over it if he is great in every other way? Lucky your mum not dating him then its yor choice nobody else's

[WhiteSteve]

Well, you're obviously not emotionally attached to the guy if you'd leave over a tattoo, so do what you're going to do I guess.

[Asker]

its really big.. what would you do if someone you were dating did this?

[WhiteSteve]

Not saying you don't have the right to be turned of by it. If that's a deal breaker for you, it is what it is. But you're clearly not in love with the guy if you'd bounce over a tattoo. If you're in it for aesthetic reasons, that's your right, but I would challenge it if you tell me you love him. Not knocking you, just calling it how I see it.

[Asker]

when i say "turned off by it" i don't mean sexually i mean in a personal sense.. what I'm i going to say when he meets the rest of my family.. if it were smaller i wouldn't mind... i can't believe people are being so judgmental when I'm sure if the cared about themselves and their lives the would be more considerate /,,

[WhiteSteve]

Well, I hope you don't think I'm trying to be judgmental, I'm answering this as honestly as I can. I'm not attacking you, I'm just saying that truly loving someone goes beyond that. Like what if he was in a car accident and ended up in a wheelchair? Or if he was dying of cancer? Would you stick around? That's what true love is all about, the best of times and the worst of times. I understand that's a whole different level than an ugly tattoo, but you see what I'm getting at. I figured you meant turned off in the general, non-sexual sense. But at its base, you seem to be worried about how others will perceive you for being with a guy with a large tattoo. My girlfriend's sister has gotten caught up in the tattoo "lifestyle", and I probably wouldn't want to bring a girl like her home to my parents either, they're old as hell and would be freaked out. But if I was dating her and truly loved her, I'd deal with it, regardless of what anyone said. I'm not saying you're a bad person, you...

[WhiteSteve]

... just don't love the guy to that extreme, and that's fine. You don't owe anyone your love. But you phrased your question in an odd way, "is this a good enough reason to break up with him?" The way that reads, I'd say you were looking for a reason. Don't look for reasons to leave, look for reasons to stay. If you want to leave, leave. That's all I was saying.

[Asker]

yes of course i would stay with him (i think i said this in another opinion).. but he CHOSE to put this on himself permanently (it wasn't a disease or accident) without even asking if i cared.. i would think he would care about communicating this to me and not be so selfish..

[WhiteSteve]

OK, that's a legitimate complaint. I agree, I'd prefer to be consulted first, but at the end of the day its his body and he can do what he pleases. I'm not a fan of tattoos really either, I have none. My girlfriend had two small ones when we first met, a butterly-winged heart on her heel she got to match with her former best friemd (lesson to be learned there, haha) and a small flower on her lower left abdomen/pelvis, which she drunkenly got when she was 18 and didn't like anymore, although I thought it was cute. She got the flower covered a couple years ago with a much larger tattoo of flowers with a small ribbon with her aunt's initials to memorialize her aunt who had just died. It looks kind of like this...
i446.photobucket.com/albums/qq188/DrSayre/jj1.jpg
That's bigger than I'd prefer, and the old one she covered was maybe 2x2 inches. But I'm used to it now, and i actually think it looks sexy. She mentioned it to me before getting it, and i probably would have said to not do it, but its really not my call.

[wonderputz]

I only skimmed a handful of comments, but I saw exactly what I expected: The shallow argument, the "his body" argument, the unconditional love argument, the hair color "equivalency"...
As someone who's mostly disgusted by tattoos, let me try to add some perspective that others may not see. And just for full disclosure, a tattoo ultimately caused me to give up on a marriage, and my current girlfriend knows everything about my feelings towards them.
A tattoo is not a work of art. It is thousands of tiny subcutaneous implants of an unregulated and virtually unidentifiable substance, usually placed there by someone with little to no medical training. The only reason a tattoo persists in skin is because your body engages in a constant struggle to contain the contaminant. I can't think of a much more repulsive self-inflicted wound.
That said, I find tattoos offensive; it would be somehow less offensive to get devil horns implanted in your skull (those are actually easier to remove).
I came across this question because my girlfriend got another tattoo, and I'm at the point where I can't take her pants off without being grossed out. She is the most amazing woman I have ever known and I would do almost anything for her, but I certainly can't make her feel sexy when I'm trying to avoid seeing her naked.
All those arguments I named in the opening paragraph are extrememly selfish. When you're in a relationship, at least a serious one, the my body argument says "I'm going to do what I want regardless of what you think." As for the "shallow" argument, is it? Is it shallow when you can't give your partner physical attention and think that he/she would be happier with someone else? Can you unconditionally love someone who has permanently changed his/her body? Yes, but that has nothing to do with a relationship. I love my best friends unconditionally, but I certainly don't want to see them naked.
Lastly, a philosophical opinion: If you were meant to be decorated, wouldn't you have been born that way? For the religious who get tattoos: Are you telling god that his Mona Lisa needed a Sharpie mustache?

[sharong14]

I would get not beginning to date someone with a tattoo but after being with them for that long the fact that u would break up with them for getting one says you don't care about him as a person because the tattoo is on the outside and the person he is has just hasn't changed. I just started seeing someone and didn't realize he has 2 tattoos that aren't visible with his shirt on. I'm not into tattoos either, but I have no intentions of not seeing him anymore after seeing them because I like him as a person.

[Asker]

are they big?

[sharong14]

No they are like the size of a playing card. Not small but not huge either.

[Anonymous]

I didn't like tattoos either.
My ex bf ended up getting one... it wasn't too bad... slightly tasteful... his body I didn't care.
Then, he got a second.
It was of my name.
That's where I drew the line.
I broke up with him shortly thereafter. We haven't spoken since.

Needless to say. If you don't wanna be someone then don't lol.

[Asker]

exactly thank you for being understanding

[Opinion Owner]

You're very welcome:)

[DoriantheArtisan]

haha oh jeez, that made me laugh. i wish id seen the look on his face. hey baby look at my new tat. that's how much i care...

i want to break up. haha that's mean. poor guy.

[Opinion Owner]

Gosh girls who down voted my post.

I didn't just break up with him because of that tat.

I told him not to do it when he jokingly mentioned it. He did it anyway.

And I don't think he cared to much when he was sleeping with other girls. @DoriantheArtisan

I don't want my name on someones body... I do not own them.

[Opinion Owner]

Tell me about it @KwazyBruhhh

[Anonymous]

I don't think the tattoo is a good enough reason, but I think that if a thing like that would make you want to leave a year-long relationship, then you shouldn't be in that relationship anyway. I don't mean to accuse you of not caring, I just mean it doesn't sound like something worth breaking up over, and maaaybe the tattoo is an excuse to leave? Just a guess, sorry, I don't know your life, haha.

In my opinion, tattoos are generally a pretty superficial thing. It doesn't change who he is, it barely changes how he looks, and if it makes him happy... why turn it into an issue? Maybe you can ask him to cover it up around you, maybe you can make a point of not looking, maybe you can talk to him about not getting another one or at least warning you next time so you could try to talk him out of it.

But it sounds like you need to break up. Not because of the tattoo, but because a tattoo is enough to make you want to break up in the first place.

[MaskofInsanity]

If you'd break up with him over a tattoo, I don't think you're particularly fond of him in the first place.

[dartmaul15]

Did he bring it up with you earlier, giving you a say on the decission? Or did he just do it behind your back? Does he even know you don't like tattoos?

[Asker]

yes. i have brought it up several times... and he once mentioned that he wanted a tattoo but it was a while ago and we didn't think or get into too much.. and guess you can say he did it behind my back.. we both had things to do out of town for work this past weekend and we got back and he had it (I'm assuming he got it while he stayed with his friend) but i can't get it out of my mind all week idk.. :/

[dartmaul15]

Hm... i wouldn't say that's a reason for breaking up with him, but it IS inconsiderate. So you should see it in relation with his personality to determine if he's worth keeping.

[MaskedSanity]

Why does he need her permission to alter HIS body? How is inconsiderate? It's just ink. He is still the same person.

Does he need to consult her about everything he does in his life?

[Asker]

I don't know im kinda young (19)... i just feel it would make me look bad to my mom i don't want to disappoint her.. thanks for being somewhat understanding :)

[dartmaul15]

@maskedsanity when He knows she does not approve of tattoes, he should at least have the courtecy of ASKING her first, and value her opinion! Something that is a hot topic should be brought up, yes. It's called comunication.

Yes, it's his body, but he should also take the concequenses of it! So he chose to alter it in a way he knows she does not improve oh; hence he should be able to take the concequenses of that!

[MaskedSanity]

Just because she's butthurt over tattoos doesn't mean he needs to do what she wants.

If my boyfriend came home with a massive tattoo, I'd be surprised at best. He doesn't NEED to ask me. If he does, he might want a second opinion, but it's ultimately his decision.

If she thinks a bleeping tattoo is a deal breaker, she's extremely shallow. And even moreso, if she think he needs her "permission".

[Asker]

@maskedsanity he doesn't need my permission for everything.. not at all. but something that is permanent he should at least have talk to me about it first he if cared at all about what i might think... thank you @opinionowner for understating

[dartmaul15]

@maskedsanity did i ever say it was a reason to leave him?
What it mostly speaks about is selfishness, i'd say. One case like this is to be expected, but if he acts selfish all the time, you should start to think. Look it in relation to the big picture.
If you constantly do as YOU wish, and does not care about your partner, you will destroy a relationship. Because relationsihps is just a whole lot of compromises.

[MaskedSanity]

Yes, relationships are of course all about communication. But I don't believe a tattoo is as necessary to discuss as other things.
If she wanted to get her ears pierced, I highly doubt she'd seek approval from the boyfriend. It's just not a major thing.

[dartmaul15]

@maskedsanity
"it's just not a major thing". That answer have destroyed many relationships. Why? what's a minor thing for you can be important for others. And for her this is a major thing. It might sound silly, but we all got those minor things that matter a lot.
Is it any better to be freaking about a guy being cut or not? About your partner being virgin or not? About your partner being tall or not? See my point? It's an unusual thing to make a big deal out of, but there are other things that are similar we make a big deal out of.

[MaskedSanity]

I can only see such a thing as a deal breaker, if she was in it for the physical aspect. But she claims to be in a relationship. She sounds more selfish, than the guy.

[dartmaul15]

@maskedsanity that is true, and i do agree. So i would only say it's a possible dealbreaker if it's repetitive behavior of constantly not considering her opinions. But yeah, breaking up over something as this would be quite superficial in my opinion

[meatballs21]

You don't want to be with him any more, period. This is the convenient excuse you're hoping for but it will make you look awfully shallow.

[Asker]

shallow? are you kidding I'm not breaking up with him because he got cancer... what if a girl you were dating got a huge tattoo.. dont be so judgmental when I'm sure your a saint.

[meatballs21]

Read your question! You hope this is 'a good enough reason' to get rid of him because there's a nagging little voice at the back of your head saying maybe it is shallow.

You wanted opinions, you got 'em.

[Zango91]

you're

[meatballs21]

For the record, I don't have any problem with tattoos on the girls I date. The last several girls I've dated have all had pretty big ones, too.

[Asker]

ok fine we are just different. i kinda happen to just care about the people I'm with and how they affect me.. im suure your the same

[meatballs21]

I'm not sure how much you can care about someone if you dump them over getting a tattoo, but okay.

[redroses1996]

No. Do you even like him. It looks like you are looking for a reason to break up with him. This could be the person you really love and you want to break up with him because of a tattoo? Don't do it. Now if you are not really feeling any spark between you and him, then you can break up with him. But we can't tell you what to do we can only advise you. Do what you feel your heart tells you to do!!!<3

[Asker]

i do like him, but this is something permanent. im going to talk to him about it today and tell him how hurt i am that he didn't at least talk to me about it before getting it.. i think that was a bit selfish of him too..(just wish it wasn't so big) :(

[redroses1996]

Lol. In relationships our partners tend to do things we don't like we just have to look past them. It's hard but its possible!!!<3

[ShaeNielson]

It's not selfish of him, to do something with his own body, that he really wants to do. You're the selfish one, for wanting to decide over his body.

[MaskedSanity]

It's selfish of him to do what he wants with his body?

I think it's way more selfish to expect him to do what YOU want with his body. Talking may have been nice, sure, but why should he do what you want?

What if you wanted to get a tattoo or piercing and he got all huffy puffy over you not consulting him?

His body - his choice.

I don't see what one can be "really hurt" over. Slightly concerned that he didn't tell you, maybe. But hurt? Pffffffffffffft.

[rolypolyroni]

Well first, if you told him that you don't like the idea of him getting inked beforehand, then i guess you should break up with him cos he doesn't care about your opinion. But if did not talk about it then i guess its your negligence too. So you should really weigh whether who's fault it was. But if that's the only reason and if he's a good guy then i guess you should give it a chance

[Anonymous]

i think thats ridiculous to break up with someone over a tattoo.. but since you seem like that type of person, go ahead. he could use someone in his life whos not gonna judge him and not love him over a fricken tattoo. if you can't get over it then break up with him. you obviously don't care enough for him, so you're in a pointless relationship

[BoudyRizk]

are you crazy?
You would break up with someone because of a tattoo?
If you were married and your husband got a tattoo of your name on his arm, would you get a divorce?

So immature

[Asker]

i would most defiantly try to stop him.. its unnecessary if he loved me as much as he says he would show me in other ways..

[Kyndra]

''Is this a good enough reason''. Sounds like you're only looking for a reason anyway. If you don't like him enough to try getting over it you should definitely break up, you two clearly wouldn't work in the long term.

[BertMacklinFBI]

if you absolutely can't stand it then I guess you can go ahead and do what you want, which is break up with him. its what you strongly prefer so im not gonna fight you on that lol.

[Ashari]

You can communicate with him, tell what u feel about tattoos and break up nicely

[slackercruster]

Hate tats and piercings. A gf back in the day got one on her butt, OK, no biggy. If a gf got her clit pierced I'm gone.

[Asker]

lolol

[Scorpio909]

Agreed with the clit piercing. I'm not about to cut myself down there.

[CuriousCatbug]

no
if you willing to dump him because of that, or even think about it, it is evident you dont care about him as a person enough. he deserves better

[Anonymous]

I'm wondering if it has more to do with feelings of lack of control over him than it is about the tattoo.

[Asker]

are you fucking kidding me? we don't have to answer to each other for everything. but something permanent i would think he would at least talk to me about... im sure he would want the same..

[Anonymous]

Break up. You obviously don't love him, if a small physical change as a tattoo, makes you want to break it off. For his sake, end it. So he can get someone better.

[KBob93]

That's like someone dumping me over me getting my belly pierced. It's not like my belly ring changed me as a person.

[Asker]

your comparing it to a belly button piercing? i wish he would have gotten that...

[KBob93]

Still seen as "skanky".

[KwazyBruhhh]

Tattoos are disgusting and are a deal breaker for me.

[KwazyBruhhh]

7 people can't take a difference of opinion. Dickheads.