Is it sexist for guys to prefer women with long hair?

[Anonymous]

I was reading an article where this was brought up as something that should be obvious, that it's sexist to prefer women with long hair (there's no further context; the guy wasn't telling anyone she -should- grow her hair long, he simply expressed that he prefers long hair). I genuinely don't understand why. A preference is just what you like more than other things. I prefer long hair on guys, too, but that doesn't mean much about my opinion of other hair lengths, and even if it did... so what? What's wrong with the preference alone?

It's sexist

It's not sexist

I don't know/See results

[Illusive_Man]

Men traditionally had short hair because men used to be intensive physical labourers and long hair would get in the way of work and make it unbearably hot.
Women traditionally had longer hair because the gender role they were assigned didn't demand for a shorter hair style and they are allowed to express their virility and health through their hair quality.
Don't need me to tell you if your health is not in check your hair quality will reflect it.

ANYWAY.
Is it "sexist" as in there's some form of ulterior agenda where society is out to put down a "sex"?
I don't think so but as with anything.
If you want to make enemy , try to change something.
There's a theory called organizational inertia where people are afraid of change , of the unfamiliar.
Women with short hair is unfamiliar to some the same way men with long hair is unfamiliar to others.

Fear.

So many people living in a constant state of fear of the unknown instead of embracing change and invention of new ideas and crushing of the old.

Holding the old as some sort of holy lamb when it stifles progress and personal expression.

Sigh.

[Noxifer626]

While having a preference is not sexist, expecting everyone to adhere to that preference or saying that particular preference is the only good option are both sexist.

[nalaa]

I mean ya it IS an obvious one.
Sexism among other is stereotyping, bias and prejudice against either sex and long hair on women is a clear example

I guess you could argue men biologically prefer long hair, but it's a weak argument with little support. It's quite accepted that men prefer long hair because it's culturally associated with femininity. Or the reverse if you prefer, short hair is associated with masculinity. I'm not saying it's wrong or right but it's a clear bias, come on people

[0112358]

Is being heterosexual sexist? Clearly that's discriminating regarding attraction based on male vs. female.

[Asker]

So then, to clarify, are all preferences discriminatory, or only the ones which line up with stereotypes (like preferring women with short hair is okay, but not preferring women with long hair)? As I understand it, I would be sexist, ageist, racist, ableist, etc.. because of my own preferences, and honestly, I can't imagine being attracted to everyone equally. :/

[nalaa]

Well not being attracted to old people is not exactly a stereotype unless you say "I don't find old people attractive because they smell".

You don't have to be attracted to everyone equally. BUT we're designed to be attracted to healthy, young and fit people, no matter race or hairstyle. Excluding a certain group of people is a cultural phenomena and ya in most cases that is due to some underlying racism, sexism or whatever

Also, as I clearly stated in my response, not saying preference is good or bad, but also you have to realize where they come from. And a lot of them DO have sexist or racist roots.
Preferring women with wide hips is biology, preferring women who wear dresses is culture. In fact legacy that might no longer apply 100 or 200 years from now

Look at the media, fashion industry in particular. we have defined beauty as so much more than just healthy bodies and symmetrical faces. It's also about tall, slender bodies with light skin. Is that racist? hell ya

[nalaa]

It's again the legacy of culture that defined white people as ideal and fair skin as superior. Most designers won't think that when selecting models but they choose mostly white models anyways and you might say, well it's just preference. But that's a a cheap answer, with a preference that is so clearly far beyond biology you should understand why we have that preference.

[Asker]

I wouldn't say preferences have to be exclusive. A guy could prefer long hair without excluding short hair from his idea of what's attractive.

I get that there is a cultural background influencing what we find attractive, and I get that parts of it are rooted in sexism and racism. And yeah, the media's presentation of beauty is messed up. But on an individual, personal level, not meant to represent a society or appeal to other people, I don't see why someone can't just -like- something. Maybe a guy likes long hair because it's fun to play with, it reminds him of someone he loves, or it flows beautifully in the wind. There are more reasons to like things like this beyond "it's feminine," and it bothers me that regardless of the reason it's still apparently sexist.

And I know you're not calling it right or wrong. The article mentioned in my question paints it in a "this is sexist, how dare you" way. I should've been more clear that that's what I'm trying to understand. :/

[Asker]

Also, if I sound argumentative, I don't intend to! I'm bothered by the issue, not by you, and I am seriously just looking for explanations. I know tone can be iffy on the internet.

[LightsOff]

It's not sexist if he doesn't expect all girls to fit his standards and understands/accepts that girls can do whatever they please with their hair.

[nalaa]

You asked about a preference and I replied in terms of a preference. So not sure what you're point is?

Also "preference" is such a weird term. The other day I saw a question about a guy complaining his wife let herself go. What did she do? Did she gain bunch of weight? Does she lie on the couch all day? No she cut her hair short after having children because well they pull on it. But according to him being in pain and spending too much time on your hair is a stupid reason to cut your short and he just prefers long hair. And most of the guys agreed. That's how far a "preference" can go

You CAN just like something, but you have to understand why you like something. If what you mean is that people just like something without cultural or biological influences, well you can, but it's extremely rare, especially in the opposite sex. So in that way No you can't just like something.
Ask another question here and ask why guys prefer long hair on women. I'd be surprised if you get one answer

[nalaa]

that's different from "it's feminine", "short hair looks weird", "I just like it", "It's just a preference". Similarly you could ask girls if they like boys with long and responses are much gonna be the same it's weird. They can't really say why but boys with long hair look kinda weird. Same with a boy who wear dresses or high heels. It just looks weird to us.

[Asker]

You brought up exclusion as an issue. My point was that it's not part of what I'm talking about, as I'm talking only about the preference (which is the best term I know for what I'm talking about, so if you have a better word, let me know). I'm not talking about deal-breakers or telling anyone that a practical choice is bad because some people don't like it. That's where it crosses a line.

And yes, traditional ideas of femininity are a big influence, I'm not denying that. But I think there are more influences at play as well, even if they're less common or acknowledged, and the simple preference for long hair isn't something a guy should get criticized for anyway. If he's acting badly about it, sure, but otherwise how is it harmful to women?

[mexborough]

it is? or you only get by on your looks? got it..

[SensualScribe]

No, I don't think it is sexist at all. Everyone has preferences. That does not necessarily mean that they will only date someone if they have those features. It is when a man or woman, demands that their partner changes to fit their preference that it becomes a problem.

[Beautifiedgirl123]

I don't see it as sexist, it's just their preference that's all. As long as it stays that way it's fine, when they start demanding the girl to cut her hair or let it grow long then that's when the problems start. I see nothing wrong with having a preference.

[Anonymous]

I voted no, but there's one sane argument for yes.

Look people can in general like what they like. Some women prefer long hair on men as well, and I've known men who prefer short hair on women. It's simply an aesthetic preference.

If you look at it in the context of other preferences though, we might conclude that it is sexist. In many cultures, men likely began cutting their hair short to avoid having it grabbed in combat. Today, still, it's more 'practical' and takes less time to have short hair. It is suggestive (and supportive) of being no-nonsense and not focused on your value as an aesthetic object. It's easier to maintain while doing frequent physical work or exercise.

We can say it's just a preference to prefer long, less practical, conflicts with working out daily hair on women. And just a preference to like high heels on women, which accentuate their curves (and also make them unable to run or be as physically dynamic). And to prefer makeup on women but not men (time and money to look pretty and highlight that your looks rather then capabilities matter. And to like tight dresses on women, again that highlights their value as sexual beings and simultaneously makes them less physically mobile. But you add all of these things together, and we have women spending an hour a day, unable to jump in a pool, tottering around unable to run, highlighting their looks, while men dress and behave as 'action man' ready to run or fight and eschewing their looks as a focus. Add it all together and you can start arguing sexist.

But I said no anyway. I think you can work around most of the above, and a lot of men are happy with a messy bun and makeup/heels etc. on special occasions.

[dartmaul15]

"sexist" is the new "get out of jail free".
Some throw it out to shut up those who disagree with them, or simply as a tool to get feminists to agree with them.

[legendoftruth]

People take things to heart when other people don't like their looks... But everyone prefers something Over another. But if a girl with tattoos likes a guy with tattoos but that guy prefers untattooed girls then the tattooed girl won't understand why he dosnt like her when he has tattoos also...

[Octavius]

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By this logic this guy in the picture could go ask out a victoria secret model and if she says no to him he can just bark at her for being sexist if she doesn't like his beard or lack of a chiseled jaw.

[Anpu23]

People are allowed preferences. If a guy prefers green eyes does it make him an orbist (sorry best word I could come up with)? What about women who prefer taller men? Are they hightists? As long as it doesn't become an elitist thing (girls with green eyes are inherently better) there is nothing wrong with it.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

It's sexist to only be attracted to one gender. Gay guys a misogynistic for not giving girls that are attracted to them a chance. Goddamn patriarchy.

[matheus_mb]

Not at all. If it was sexist for us girls couldn't prefer guys with long hair too. It's just a matter of preference.

[ritxi]

I think that is stupid. Anyone has the freedom of prefer any hair length in the sex they like, unless they have such a different hair length.

In my case, I love women who always have their hair long but hate long hair on guys. Maybe some guys who want to have their hair long find it sexist, but these women are free to have a preference in the opposite sex and that is not sexist, like men who prefer long hair on women.

[ElissaDido]

OMG peopleeee stop making everything sexist ukhh !!! No it's not. If we prefer taller guys it's no sexist neither, it's just a PREFERENCE. :) (not you the people who wrote the article)

[itsallover]

No, it's just a preference. I guess people see it as sexist because long hair is a feminine trait, so expecting a girl to have long hair is like a societal expectation.

[RationalMale]

Is it sexist to only want to date one sex over the other?

Long hair on a good looking girl is feminine and gorgeous.

I couldn't care less if it's sexist or not. I pretty much don't notice short hair girls when I'm out. Kinda like how girls might not notice short or fat guys, I imagine.

[admles]

No, it is not sexist.

Just like preferring a girl with shaved legs is not sexist, this is just a preference, and nothing to do with sexism.

Just like @dartmaul15 said, "sexist is the new 'get out of jail free'".

[ThisDudeHere]

What. The. Fuck. Seriously? There are people who voted A?

[MeghanL]

Last time I looked people are entitled to their preferences. If a guy likes longer hair on a woman that's his own affair.

[TrainwreckAdvice]

Some people must just like to argue anything.. It's sad someone would pick such an innocent statement and make it into something so ugly...

[Applefan1]

Sexist. It is just a preference. What a bullshit article that is. The only thing that article is any good for is wiping your ass once you have taken a dump.

[Applefan1]

So to answer the question of course it is not sexist.

[Kirah]

No, this isn't sexist at all. It's just a preference.

This has nothing to do with sexism, but some women will cry sexism at the slightest opportunity because they produced a victim mentality for themselves.

[alfonsosloan45]

Preferences aren't sexist but expecting the other gender to fit your preference because of societal norms is sexist.

[GuyBot]

It's 2015. Everything is sexist when a man says it and a woman disagrees.

[COCOCHANEL]

i don't think it's sexist or any other negative -ist to have preferences