Is "creep shaming" a thing?

Question

I was reading some blog about how unattractive men generally get "shamed" for talking to women, and making them uncomfortable. One side says that it's no coincidence that all the guys that are called "creepy" are unattractive. The other side says that it's just the way they act that makes them creepy. Is everything "shaming" these days?

Darkfairie17 · Accepted Answer

So the reason this whole "creepy" thing started is because women do face really crazy and scary behaviour from guys sometimes. It might be hard for guys to understand, because they don't typically have this same type of problem.

Basically, women have to be incredibly careful when they are interacting with people. Some guys you talk to may seem nice at first, but if you don't give them what they want then they become really scary real quick.

I'm a very friendly person. But when I am online dating or even just talking to guys in general, I have to be scared that they could take my friendliness in the wrong way. Then when I tell them I have a boyfriend, they might get upset or angry about that or not believe me and keep bugging me.

Women have to worry about being stalked, or getting attacked simply for saying no to a guy. This is where I believe the creep shaming you talk about is coming from.

If a situation doesn't feel right, women may use the word creepy to describe it. Perhaps the guy had no intentions on going stalker mode on her, but she doesn't know that.

Unfortunately women have to worry a lot about these types of things in society.

pr3ttybr0wn · Accepted Answer

There are lots of ugly guys who aren't creepy. And there are creepy guys who aren't ugly.

Creeps ignore women's feelings and wants and just go for what they want

That's like saying only rapists are ugly and all ugly guys are rapists. Creeps are pretty much guys who give you rapist/serial killer "it rubs the lotion on its skin" vibes. The type of guy you're uncomfortable around would never want to be alone with.

Creeps tend to be imposing. Like if I have no romantic/sexual interest in you but you're always making suggestive comments to me and coming near me even though I clearly want nothing to do with you, that is a creep. It isn't something creeps can use as an excuse to say "oh I'm not really a creep, women are just shallow because my unwanted behavior would be ok if I were good looking"

BushBabyBoo · Accepted Answer

I agree that creeps usually aren't good looking (not always the case) but with unattractiveness often comes low self esteem, which can make the way a guy interacts be quite creepy. I'm not saying low self esteem makes you a creep. I'm just saying they may have a higher likelihood of having distorted expectations and be a big clingier.

Bandit74 · Accepted Answer

I think its a combination of both.

1. The appearance of things change your perception. For example, there was an experiment with labels on wine, and people reported the wine from the expensive bottle tasted better when in reality both of the bottles were filled from the same source.

I think its the same with appearance, you could have 2 guys doing the exact same thing but the ugly guy is more likely to be labeled creepy. Like if an attractive guy is sitting by himself, girls might describe him as mysterious, while an ugly guy is more likely to be labeled creepy, weird, or a loser.

2. Some ugly guys are genuinely creepy and it could be arged that ugly guys are more likely to be genuinely creepy. I think its because of the fact they are ugly. Ugly guy= lower confidence /worse social skills/ less interactions with women = more awkward approaches = creepy

Bluemax · Accepted Answer

Wow. Polarized results.

Are unattractive men more likely to be labeled creeps? I believe so. However this doesn't mean all women or even most women go around labeling unattractive men creeps. As of the time I'm writing this, the percentage of women who voted A is somewhere around 8%. So for every one girl that labels a man a creep by virtue of his unattractiveness,12.5 girls don't.

There was another poll done on GAG where the percentage of women labeling unattractive men as creeps was much higher, but there were far fewer people voting, so I believe this poll is more accurate.

By the way guys, isn't this actually GOOD news (assuming the women answered the poll honestly, and the poll is anonymous)?

As for those women who you feel unjustly labeled you a creep, my suggestion is to not give a shit.

TheDevilInside · Answer

I usually call a guy a creep of he shows interest in me and he's:
- old. Why not hunt someone , our own age, DAD?
- had this older guy stare at my legs in the potatoes section. Moved to the dairy. He was suddenly behind there too. Moved to fish. He was there again. I moved, he moved. Fuck! And guess what? He was south Asian
- guess what? Another south Asian. Sat next to me in the train, slowly pressed his thigh against mine. Kept making myself small and stick to the window, he kept pushing. Until I felt claustrophobic and threw him a nasty look. He instead of backing off, asked me where I'm from. No response but me turning my head away, he asked if i'm from thailand. Yeah. Creeping on a younger girl by pressing your thigh against hers. I should have slapped his thigh and fucking yelled at him. It was so like an intro to rape. Wtf south Asian guys?

rjroy3 · Answer

Ehh. It's 50/50. I know MANY girls that were creeped out with how an unattractive guy approached her, when she would not be bothered if an attractive guy did the same exact thing.

But I've also seen unattractive guys be creepy about how they feel. It's usually because of what's going on in their head. They feel scared that the girl they're looking at might find out he finds her sexually attractive and wants to do things to her if given the chance. And that dichotomy is making them come across as creepy.

Goldie757 · Answer

Creepy men to me are really old men who are hitting or perving on me. Also any man who behaviours in an inappropriate manner towards me. I have met many attractive creeps.

Although there is a small percentage of women who consider unattractive men creeps.

RachelBrigs · Answer

If an unattractive guy hits on me I am just like "bleh, this is awkward. "
I don't think he's a creep unless he acts like a creep.

So for example I met this guy recently and he's very unattractive but when we met we had a small talk and he seemed nice, I thought he was a cool guy. Then... he grabs my ass... like right after meeting me. He kept touching me even after I told him to stop... THAT'S a creep.

When I was in high school there was a really cute guy in my chem class who would stare at my boobs all the time and would like kinda corner me in the hallway and laugh, and that was creepy. Regardless of his attractiveness

JustinCaseUDontKnow · Answer

The term creepy can mean many things, i stay my distance from females , if they are interested in being friends then we will talk , i do know the girls who you can joke with and i know the ones who can be bitches and they are the ones you wanna stay clear of they come charging me with false statements with calling me a creep i will send their usernames, emails , phone numbers to law enforcement ,, I have low tolerance for bullying , name calling, harassment.. Yes some of us Average to below Average men like myself are called creeps but i say let them do it cause they will pay the price ,, Yes i got low self esteem and bipolar i been victim abused in many ways by many people so it gives me complex about myself and yes i don't find myself attractive but that's life but i do believe that the word creepy is used too loosely that's why i watch myself and cross my T's and dot my i's

alexsc · Answer

Both answers are correct in a way. An unattractive who flirts with a girl will be unwelcome, and thus his actions become creepy. An attractive guy doing the exact same thing will be welcome, thus his actions are not creepy.

(And the attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder)

Then there is of course a range of creepiness, some actions, like stalking, are creepy no matter who does them.

But the "creep shaming" is just as real and bad as the "slut shaming", only difference is that girls tend to not acknowledge this and keep on calling guys creeps with no remorse.

Folklore · Answer

I've never heard of creep shaming, but I've been called it multiple times by many different women for absolutely no reason. So I kind of have to go with option A. The difference I think, is that women have pre-rendered thoughts about who they would like to be approached by, and if a man that does not fit her ideal demographic, he's creepy. Don't get me wrong, there are some weird creepers out there, but I feel the term creep is thrown around more loosely than the word love these days. I'm speaking generally of course, obviously not all women are like this, but so far the vast majority in my life have acted this way. Anyways, for me it's option A based off of personal experiences.

Accipiter · Answer

Creepiness is an illusion. A behavioral facade put together by weird and threatening mannerisms. Certain threatening mannerisms and actions can make someone feel uncomfortable. Since women are more vulnerable than men, they are more likely to feel uncomfortable due to this kind of behavior. There are plenty of ways to go about complementing and checking out a girl without being a creep.

That said, I do agree with you that some girls DO misuse the word and give it to harmless non-threatening guys who don't deserve it.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm less concerned about "creep shaming" and more concerned about "virgin/prude shaming". Seriously, how can women and girls be oppressed if they have mercilessly taunted me and other men about our virginity? I don't insult anybody about their sexual activity, so why is it ok for people to insult me about mine? It seems like the standards of public discourse and decency are slipping. But hey, I'm just a whiny baby apparently, I guess I should go back to fixing cars and grunting in my garage while drinking a beer now.

AleDeEurope · Answer

Of course it's a thing, you gotta be blind to say it's not. Hell, even girls have admitted that it's more common for them to call a guy creepy if he's unattractive.
Girls just don't wanna admit that they do that, but OBVIOUSLY they do.

But some attractive men are creepy too, they just get away with it more often than the unattractive guys.

HikerDude · Answer

"Creep" is girls' catch-all phrase for guys they don't like, a byword for the undesirable guys. It's not all about looks, but there's no question that attractive guys are far less likely to be labeled creeps from the outset. Girls don't like to admit that they're even more crass than guys, so they deny that they're so judgmental, but they are.

Prof_Don · Answer

If the guy is unattractive to the female in question, he is more quickly placed into the "creep" category if he does or says something she is unsatisfactory with.

goflipaburger · Answer

i've had handsome guys act super creepy. if i'm clearly not interested, leave me alone and i won't call you a creep. it is a very simple concept.

ccp16 · Answer

A lot of guys are creeps and I don't blame women for being scared of them. That being said, many, many women use the term creep, to simply mean a guy who is pursuing her but she does not find attractive. Guys do this too, but usually with the term 'crazy girl' or something. I think both scenarios exist, but we should stop calling people creepy or crazy just because they are pursuing us and we happen to not find them attractive... it actually gets creepy when they won't stop making advances.

I_am_repulsive · Answer

No matter how good looking you are, if you're creepy and do strange shit, you're a creep and a pervert. Looks has nothing to do with someone being creepy and it has everything to do with what you do with your life, action and how you approach women via objectifying them, stalking them and what not.

Anonymous · Answer

There's a difference. I don't automatically assume every guy is a creepy. It's what they do that makes them creepy. If you say no and they push, that's crossing a line. If they don't say anything to you, but stare and follow you to your car... yeah, that's creepy.

Yesterday I had a stranger ask me about the movie in my hand. He saw it and said how much he liked it. He smiled and left. That was not a creepy encounter.

Octavius · Answer

It's both. Sometimes no matter what the guy does he will be creepy simply because the girl didn't find him attractive. There's nothing he could change other than being better looking to not be considered creepy.

But many girls (you know the ones anyone with respect would actually want to date) do not give attractive guys a pass on their creepy behavior and they also are nice to guys they find unattractive and don't just call them a creep for being unattractive and approaching them.

FreyaDiermayr · Answer

hmmmmmmm it seems the men dont always know what we mean, attractive guys can be creepy af

littlepig2002 · Answer

I'm gonna say both. In NYC, for example, it is the creeps who act creepy. In the more rural South, creepy is a synonym for unattractive male who does the manly thing and looks/talks to a woman.

The latter is the big reason why women complain about the so-called Seattle freeze, which does not exist.

Ashari · Answer

Some attractive guys can also be creepy. Example:guys that is too much into worshiping God. Don't get me wrong, I'm Christian myself but if u start mentioning God in every topic u talk about it is creepy for me.

R3d_Anonymous · Answer

lol look at the poll. At the time of me posting this opinion, 4 guys have voted for "A" and 5 girls have voted for "B".

I voted for "A". It does seem like some women (they even admit it) will use "creepy" as a synonym for "not attracted to".

jjmarvin · Answer

I would suspect that a bunch of unattractive guys get called creeps for just trying to flirt normally, but then there's the guys who are actually creepy and i dint think attractiveness gets them a pass or anything

PiuBelloAmante · Answer

i am the handsome creeper... so i voted B But i like to think of myself as overly romantic, and not creepy :/ lol!

TheInfamus · Answer

duh, that's why I don't talk to women. I don't want to be labelled as something I'm not because I'm unattractive

Gee_Gee · Answer

? it's not because you find some people unattractive, that they are creepy for trying to talk to you. There are good looking creeps too

PLLFan21 · Answer

Well whenever I have called someone a creep, was because... THEY ACT LIKE ONE. Not based on how un attractive they might have been.

Resoglass · Answer

I'm gonna predict that most guys will vote A and most girls will vote B

ThisDudeHere · Answer

Lol at the poll. Just shows how devided we are on the issue.

nakedalligator · Answer

Creepy is like sexy accept the women dosen't want it.

Dtegesd123 · Answer

lol no I dont think it just relates to unattractive guys. It's more of their body language. They twitch, shake, hunched over, or fidget too much!

Anonymous · Answer

There's a huge difference between unattractive and creepy.

Hollywood-Glam · Answer

I'm thinking that "creep shaming" is falsely accusing others of being creeps. I don't know.

ProfessorPratt · Answer

I wouldn't say shaming, but I feel that many are much quicker to call someone or something creepy due to the age's deteriorating social abilities.

Anonymous · Answer

There is definitely what I would call creepy behavior, but I think the teem is overused to describe unattractive males all the time.

JSmuve · Answer

Lol at the poll results so far

Bards · Answer

This poll is sad. Dudes on here are so insecure.

Ren-Riven · Answer

Those 4 who voted first...*shakes my head*

JustinX9 · Answer

Women can also be a creepy

Anonymous · Answer

i love being called a creep >:)

Is "creep shaming" a thing?

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