Do you think that "standard shaming" is a thing?

[AngelOfLight258]

What I mean by "standard shaming" is where people are criticized for having too high a standard when it comes to dating and thus will limit their opportunities when it comes to dating.

I don't think people should be criticized for this because relationships are a huge investment in terms of time and emotions and for some people if they're not going to get a lot out of it, it's just not worth it for them.

Now, you might say that they'll have very few relationships because of their high standards but people aren't obligated to be in a relationship any more than they're entitled to one.

[MCheetah]

No, I don't think "standard shaming" is a thing, but I do think people (mainly women) have too high of standards when it comes to meeting someone. People are allowed to have whatever standards they want, but people are also allowed to call that other person shallow or superficial for having such standards as well, so it works both ways.

I always say, if you can't meet your own standards or the opposite gender equivalent of them, you have no right to be demanding in someone else. I wouldn't ask for something I couldn't meet the opposite gender or same equivalent of, in someone else. And if you DO want these things in someone, but you don't have them, then you need to work more on yourself first before jumping into a relationship because you're right; it IS a huge investment in time and emotion. But some people can't seem to realize that that applies to the OTHER person, as well.

So that's why you won't see me asking for supermodels and fitness models for girlfriends. The only single thing I can't match a partner in that I'd want, is height (which I have no control over). But if I'm going to have feminine height like 180 cm, then I think that counts as the opposite equivalent of me wanting a girl with so-called "masculine" height, like 188.

[Tyrael]

They absolutely should be criticised if their standards are unrealistic. Having high standard isn't bad, but your demands should match what you have to offer and most of the time they simply don't.

Some people set very high unrealistic standards and then complain that they're single. This doesn't make sense to me. Know your value.

If you're a 6 with an average personality, you're not getting a guy who's a 9 or a 10 and earning over six figures, just because you feel like that's what you deserve. A wake up call is needed for some people.

[LazerBean]

It depends on what crowd you associate with mostly.

[Debbie14217]

not really... no one is shamed i think today

[Effably]

People can and should have whatever standards they like.

I absolutely believe we are in a phase of criticizing people's standards when they are overly unrealistic. While that likely comes off as shaming I believe the original intent is to help people reconnect with reality as it is not at all rare that people fail to understand what their prospective dating pool is like.

But of course you should be able to limit your own options as much as you want.

[NathanDavis]

well... there's high standards, and then there are ridiculous and even unrealistic standards

besides that, people who are demanding of standards they should be worth of all of them as well and bring even more than what they demand for... lol

it's not always about the standards themselves just how some people go about them