Do you think that men as fathers are underrated by society?

[BumbleSuperBee]

I feel like in comparison to mothers, fathers don't get as much credit as them. There is an international mothers' day but not one for fathers.
Yes, mothers do deserve all the credit they get for getting pregnant with the baby, carrying him for 9 months, raising the child and so on, but the father does play a tinnie tiny role in this.
I'm not saying that they should get equal credit cause it kinda wouldn't be fair but, I mean, it's not the male's fault for not being the one who gets pregnant y'kno? He gives 'his all' to help the mother...

Fathers are underrated

Fathers shouldn't get that much credit anyway

Both parents should get equal credit

Other (see results)

Updates

+1 y

*Me believing that fathers are underrated doesn't mean that they should get equal credit as mothers. I just believe that they deserve more than what they're 'not getting'.
*What I mean about the pregnancy thing is that it's painful and exhausting for the mother to carry the baby. This is one of the many things that make mothers, well, mothers.

[hellionthesage]

You think that women should get more credit because they biologicly carry a child for nine months while a father chooses to provide and raise their child until the day they drop dead? And you think women should get far more credit for this? She carries a child for nine months and he carries a family until the day he drops dead, and you think women should get more credit? WHAT THE FUCK? 70% of global spending is done by women yet global earnings of men over women is almost double ie he works his ass off puts in more hours then she does then gives it away to her and his children. He slaves away at work he slaves away for money then he turns around and gives it all away to his family, he then slaves away at home too and he doesn't deserve equal credit? Thats funny because women actually complain about raising children all the time yet men don't, seems kind of strange what with her being so selfless don't you think? www.washingtonpost.com/.../
80% of all inmates come from single mother homes (amongst all the other issues it causes): https://www.fathermag.com/news/2778-stats.shtml
lib.post.ca.gov/.../Safe_Harbor.pdf
Seems odd that a non important family member like a father would have such a negative impact when missing from said family don't you think?
Its also kind of funny because mothers are actually far more likely to abuse their children then a father is: mkg4583.wordpress.com/.../
Kind of strange that we devalue fathers so much considering all of this isn't it? I honestly hope your father abandones you just so you can see how important he is because apparently no one notices how imporant a father is unless he is gone (and then he is a piece of shit human being, only a slight downgrade from the title of useless/pointless he gets when he is their for his family). Every study has shown that fathers have tremendous impact on their childs lives both boys and girls without which those children become severly disfunctional and prone to everything from promiscuity depression to suicide and drug abuse.

[hellionthesage]

So no, they are as important as a mother is and its quite shitty of you to suggest otherwise. Unfortunatley that is the world we live in, one where a father is treated like shit and completely dismissed simply because he is a male and "obviously" has no value to society. I hope your father doesn't read your post saying how you don't much care about him because that has got to be the most heart breaking thing a man can hear that his own child doesn't value him and what he does for them.
www.huffingtonpost.com/.../...f-dad_b_5489093.html
www.dcp.wa.gov.au/.../...ic%20Framework%202007.pdf
books.google.com/books

[BumbleSuperBee]

Dude. Wtf. ?
I wouldn't have asked this question if I didn't think fathers deserve more credit...
Jesus. Chill.

[BumbleSuperBee]

And I already know how important my father is and I show him my gratitude every single day. Gah.

[hellionthesage]

"*Me believing that fathers are underrated doesn't mean that they should get equal credit as mothers"
Did you not type that? Because its up their in the comment part of your question so I presumed you typed it. When some one says fathers are not important or as important as mothers I think anger is a reasonable response, what would your response be if I claimed mothers should get less credit for what they do then father? Pretty sure it would be anger. And obviously you really don't care all that much about your father if the simple fact that your mother carried you for nine months immediatley places her in a tier above your father. Thats disrespectful and quite dispicable that he is having his contrabution belittled despite how much a father actually does (according to studies, it would seem a hell of a lot more then mothers). That compounded by a society that mocks and ridicules fathers, takes away their rights, yeah anger was a normal response.

[BumbleSuperBee]

This just got personal. I'll just stop you right here. You expressed your opinion, it's understood, thank you.

[hellionthesage]

No its not personal, it frustrating that some one would claim women should be viewed as a better parent by simple fact that they exist. How is that not screaming of sexism to you? How is that (anger) an unreasonable response to that blatent sexism? You are claiming that men should not get the same credit for the same work because women have a vagina (well technicly in this situation its because of womb) how do you not see that as sexism? What if we held women to similar standards do you think it would be fair then? You are showing how sexist society is toward men and fathers in particular with your comments and I think its horrible. Like I said its heart breaking to hear a woman claim her father is less important then her mother by simple fact that her mother has a womb, that all of his contrabutions can be pushed aside because of that fact. Is this something you tell your own father? That he is less important then your mother? Does he know this is how you feel?

[AleDeEurope]

Yes, fathers rarely ever get any credit, but they don't realize how much fathers sacrifice for their kids, the good fathers of course.
My father didn't spend much time with me and my sis, but you know why? Cause he was working from 8am till 10pm, so during weekends he needed some rest. Thanks to all the work he did, my sister and I could study in an English school, have a good house, good food, good clothes, good beds, my sister managed to go to college and get her bachelors and master's, and I could study abroad (as I'm doing right now).
He may not have been physically there as much as my mother, but he did work his butt off for us, and he barely got any credit from it, and I'm guilty of that. As a teenager you don't realize all those things, but when you grow up, you understand, and you regret being such a dick when a simple thank you would mean the world for him.

Fathers need more credit than they get. Sure, they may not go through 9 months of pregnancy, but they do have a different kind of suffering.

P. S.: There is a father's day, though it varies. In fact, in Spain it was 2 days ago, March 19th.

[BumbleSuperBee]

That's beautiful!

[ElissaDido]

I love this answer! It's exactly the same thing with my father! Sometimes we complain about them not being around as much as our mothers but we forget the hard work they do to give us financial security...
Your dad is amazing.

[AleDeEurope]

@ElissaDido Thank you. I should tell him that more often :)

[AleDeEurope]

Thanks for the MHO

[BumbleSuperBee]

Sure!

[Darkfairie17]

I agree, father's are underrated. I think we need to make fatherhood seem like a positive thing in society versus a negative thing.

All the time I hear my friends say "I can't leave the baby with my husband, I can't trust him". Why not? He's the father of the child. Why is he considered incapable of handling his own child? I just don't get it.

Or fathers get undermined, and not supported as much as mothers do. I think fatherhood would be seen more as a positive in society if we treated fathers with more respect. Especially if they are active fathers.

Motherhood is always so cherished. There are so many articles about motherhood and the good things that come of it. It's very celebrated. But fatherhood isn't as much. At least that I have noticed.

[GingerBear]

I do believe fathers should receive equal credit in raising a child. Especially single fathers. In comparison to single mothers, they get so few rights. People think that a woman deserves sole custody of her kid, just because she's the mother. Meanwhile, in so many of these cases, the man is written off as a deadbeat, when, in reality, he'd make a better parent than the mother.
The group I think do deserve a shitload more credit than they get is stepfathers. These men come into a kids life late, and more often than not, accept the kid as their own and try so hard to help the mother give the kid a good life.

Men play a far more important role in raising a child than most people, including you, Asker, give them credit for.

[Anonymous]

Where I'm from (rural area), dads don't have to do much parenting and call watching their kids "babysitting" but there is Father's Day.

Dads also get much less flack for leaving their kids to pursue a new relationship or even something bad like being a drunk or druggie. Mothers are expected to devote 24/7 of her thoughts and energy to her children, while dads often get away get sort of a fun, part time role.

But some are pretty awesome Dads, too. I think actual parenting (not societal viewpoints) varies from person to person.

[Josht11]

Where exactly are you from because deadbeat dads are universally disliked.

[Opinion Owner]

Rural US. Consider what they say against deadbeat dads compared to an absent mother, however. Mothers have much higher standards. Dads can get away with only seeing his kids once a month and still be considered a "good guy."

[Opinion Owner]

Whereas women get pressure not to screw up everything from natural birth to breastfeeding to sleep schedules to birthday cakes to holiday party favors to homework help to self/esteem counseling to nutrition. Dad just has to take kids for ice cream every now and then to ace his role Etc.

[Josht11]

I'm skeptical about this claim especially since mothers can relinquish custody but if dads do that they have to pay child support.

[Opinion Owner]

Most women work now too... So both parents are contributing financially. I'm talking about parenting itself.

[Opinion Owner]

Don't get me wrong - many, many guys do above and beyond the minimum. I'm talking about expectations.

[Josht11]

I think the expectation are the same to be honest, I don't know what society you live in where people think it's okay for dads to just take them for ice cream once in a while, I think wherever you live really doesn't value dads which is sad.

[Opinion Owner]

A lot of rural America has somehow encompassed both the worst of traditional mindsets and modern habits.

[hellionthesage]

Yeah I'm going to have to disagree with this entirely, I have never seen a man get away with anything. I mean look at the laws in place a woman can abort a child, abandon the child (thanks to safe haven laws) or give a child up for adoption without even notifing a father yet if the woman decides to keep the child she can legally demand child support, thats not him being able to get away with anything. We have laws that give women full custody of children cutting the father off from his children then we call him a deadbeat. So unless you have a hell of a lot of evidence for this claim I don't see how its a valid argument.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm taking about societal parenting expectations, not court ordered child support. Two different things. I'm saying that the father (married or unmarried) doesn't actually have to spend any time with his kids for society to embrace him. But that most women are accepted to work (and have been forever in rural America) - so it's not just him getting to enjoy his leisure because he's the sole provider.

I think both of these areas need to be more balanced - I agree there.

Abortion isn't condoned in rural America, either, so that doesn't factor into what I'm describing.

[Josht11]

I'm skeptical about your claims of societal expectation I think your just saying what you think they are.

[hellionthesage]

Yeah thats patently false, as I previously stated father are hated in america, you cannot turn on a tv without seeing the bumbling idiot dad trope, you don't hear about a father who isn't their not being a deadbeat, even on fathers day the one day a year that a father is recognized we have fathers day commercials that celebrate mothers, even on the one day we celebrate fathers, we celebrate mothers. So no, I do not believe what your saying is accurate given all the evidence to the contrary. A man who doesn't wish to be a father is a deadbeat, a woman who doesn't wish to be a mother is pro choice, and our system strips fathers of their rights to see and interact with their own children while simultaneously talking about how fathers are the ones abandoning their children instead of mothers who rip the families apart to begin with (80% of divorces are filed by women). That is an inaccurate representation of reality.

[Opinion Owner]

Are either of you from a rural area? It's different than in the 'burbs.

[madhatters4]

is father's day in the US not official? not being sarcastic asking seriously... well my daughter will celebrate me on father's day official or not

I think for people who raise families father's get a lot of credit. I do think from the outside looking in (for those people not raising a family) a father's contribution may be overlooked though

however, most psychologists point to a father's presence in a child's life (for both a male and female child) as being the most signficiant relationship for that child. children almost always have a bond to their mother that develops from an early age, and even if the mother is not present they have an appreciation based on that early connection. however, a father's real bond must be developed and thus the presence of a father is invaluable.

I certainly don't underrate my father. I've also seen what can happen to people whose father's are not present and can see the intrinsic value a strong father figure can provide

[hellionthesage]

In the US it is a holiday but its being undermined, the bumbling idiot father trope is everywhere and currently their are advertisments on fathers day celebrating. . . mothers, because mothers are not celebrated enough apparently. I see it more in every day life. My cousins are constantly sending each other these sentimental notes about sisters and mothers but never fathers or brothers, its like they don't count. I watched as my uncle apologized for crying for a brief moment when his son died in a car accident, he felt he had to be the strong one so his wife and children could grieve properly, yet no one really thought about how holding back was affecting him (it greatly delays and lengthens the grieving process) and no one thanked him for doign that, for pushing aside his pain to get the arrangments made both legal and funerary so that every one else could focus on grieving for his dead son. I think that says a lot about how we view fathers and their contrabution.

[madhatters4]

@hellionthesage well it's definitely a subjective thing. my family and people i know really do honor father's. i've only been a father for 8 months but have received endless support, congrats, and recognition for my role in my daughter's life

[Anonymous]

Men should get more credit than mothers. Let's stop downplaying the importance they hold and hoist mothers up onto a false pedestal simply because they are women and we have become a society where we can't hurt female feelings with the truth.
People from fatherless homes make up:
63% of suicides.
90% of homeless and runaways
85% children with behavior disorders
80% of rapist with anger issues.
71% of high school drop outs.
85% of prison youth
70% of institutionalized youth
71% of pregnant teens
90% of arsonist
75% of chemical abusers

Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.

Studies show that a child responds more to a father reading to them than a mother.

Besides us always just saying the kid is better off with the mom and the mom is crucial to a child's life... statistics actually show that without fathers... children are screwed. Period. Without a mother a child will be statistically no worse than with.

Studies where data gathered is next to each item in links.
www.photius.com/.../facts_on_fatherless_kids.html
thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/

[Jose_R]

Society seem to be at a state where fathers are not appreciated. Everyone makes a big fuss over mother's days and how hard it is to be a single mother. Yet, people don't nearly make a big fuss about fathers day or the hardship of being a single dad.

I guess reason for it is perception. People see a single mother and conclude it's a result of the man abandoning his family. While people conclude a single father comes about from the mother dying.

It doesn't help also where as a society we think gender roles don't matter and that a male can be brought up to be a man with a single mother only. This is just not the case for most part. You need a strong father figure to bring up a man and while mothers do their best they just aren't cut out because they haven't experience life from the male perspective.

[Josht11]

"they plan a tinnie tiny role" and "they shouldn't get equal credit" I don't know if your for or against fathers being underrated. Anyway there's a fathers day in the UK and I do think they're underrated and deserve equal credit my dad has been as much of a parent as my mom.

[BumbleSuperBee]

Okay. I just believe that they should be given more credit, not necessarily as equal credit as the mothers.

[Josht11]

I think they deserve equal credit it's not noble that women have to carry them or something that's just biology don't act like you deserve shit you get your time off etc the real parenting is after and there's a reason why kids without dads tend to not earn as much as those with them cos they matter honestly equally.

[Kylesar]

Of course fathers are underrated

All the media does is show fathers as raging retards who needs mommy in order to do simple shit

People don't think slaving at work to provide for your kids can't possibly compare to the fact that the mom gave birth to them

They sit there and say fathers aren't needed, but I never hear anything about the negatives of being raised by a single father. Most if not all of the negatives associated with a lack of a parent has to do with the lack of a father

But then again, men are being trampled on in society, so this is far from surprising

[Prof_Don]

I never thought about it but that's true; I have never heard many if any negatives about being raised by a single father without a mother. Not saying mom isn't important, but the duality of this argument is severly imbalanced

[ThisDudeHere]

From what I heard, 70 or so percent of prison inmates in the US come from single mother house holds. That says a lot about women's ability to raise children by themselves.

[Dandeus]

It says a lot about poverty and sexism. Single mothers take significantly larger pay cuts than single fathers do, and this scales with the number of children. Single fathers are also significantly more likely to have live-in partners to help with children, while single mothers are often stigmatized as damaged goods and many men specifically refuse to raise another man's children.

[itsallover]

@Dandeus Thank you.

[hellionthesage]

@Dandeus Thats not true. They take about the same and unlike the mother the father pays child support which isn't factored in, and he pays the taxes on the child support (in all other pay outs its the one recieveing the money that pays the tax) which isn't accouted for, and the mother gets to claim them as a dependent on her taxes while the man does not, despite them apparently being dependent on him, hence the child support. Meanwhile its women who file for divorce 80% of the time so again its really on the woman not the man.(also their are many support groups and foundations meant to help single mothers none for fathers) Many women also refuse to raise another womans child, so thats not a very good argument. So your right it does say a lot about poverty (men are imprisoned when they cannot pay their child support and make up 80% of the homeless) and sexism (the complete refusal to see men as human beings).

[Rawrzz]

Mmm. Not sure how pregnancy has anything to do with the legitimacy of fatherhood. Like. At all. Women get knocked up and act like it's an achievement of their own? Like "Oh, look what my body can do"? That's kinda silly.

You're not saying they should get "equal" credit. So what are you saying? Because I really have no idea.

[BumbleSuperBee]

Check the update.

[Darkfairie17]

I kind of agree with you. Some people take the achievement thing too far. Like basically "bow down, I'm pregnant". Umm ya ok. Being pregnant doesn't entitle a person to mistreat others. I get we all have bad days, but some women I have met have just been nasty because they feel they deserve special treatment 24/7.

[Rawrzz]

Well, I understand the hormonal changes. Minimizing stress is important for the baby. What I don't understand is how being the one to have the baby makes them more of a parent, or earning, as OP states, more "credit" for parenthood than the father. In my eyes, parenthood is determined based on how you raise the child. Not who happened to have been the yeast and who was the oven.

[hellionthesage]

I also didn't understand that.

[Anonymous]

I like how 9 months somehow supersedes the other 18 years at least. Most of the women I see who complain about 9 months of pregnancy are those that have never been pregnant and most women I know who are mothers didn't think it was a big deal at all when they went through it.

As for fathers who really cares. Society demonizes men being fathers so most men no longer give a shit about being a father. Why strive to be something you'll be called a deadbeat, dictator of the kid, or even a pedophile/kidnapper if you're alone with your child without the mother around regardless of how good of a father you actually are? It's a shame I like kids but not enough to have women stop me on the sidewalk when I'm walking with my kids alone and they get between me and them and ask where the mom is to the kid ignoring me.

[BumbleSuperBee]

What? Now those are just a few situations...

[FakeName123]

Because common propaganda since the last decades have managed to make mothers the only important part for a child. The truth is that it takes two to make a child and that every single statistic out there shows that the absence of a father has destructive consequences for the psychological well-being of a child.

Why there is that propaganda going on is a different story and more extensive than a few lines of text.

[SexyStudent]

A strong loving father is essential for emotional health probably more so than a mother. All these mother lovers don't realize that the absence of a strong loving father has created chaos in society. Single parent families run by mothers on disaster

[Kirah]

Yes, absolutely. Fathers are heavily underrated, and they're underprivileged in the legal system.

There's even droves of women who hijack father's day. You know the type. On every father's day, they post something like "happy single mothers day!".

[Anonymous]

First of all, carrying the baby doesn't make a women a better parent than the father. You act as if carrying the baby automatically makes the woman the better parent. Every women can have kids so it's like she's special. Both parents should get equal credit if they are good parents. Some put in more work than the other, but that's an individual thing.

[BumbleSuperBee]

No. I didn't say that carrying the baby is what makes her "better". I said it's the reason why mothers are given more credit.

[BumbleSuperBee]

* one of the reasons

[Ruby355]

I think most father's deserve more credit. I've got a friend who is an amazing father. Mom has primary custody and is horrible, uses dogs alcoholism etc. Let's their five year old watch south Park, listen to slipknot... yet the courts rule in her favor.

[Ruby355]

I don't plan on having kids. Too much hassle, the thought of it makes me cringe.

I have bigger goals in life than just to reproduce, and I have no desire the deal with getting raped by the system when everything comes crumbling down.

[Anonymous]

fathers are underrated but only because men in general are underrated

it's going to work itself out when either (a) the sharp decline in marriage and committed couples capable of having children plays out so we get the new normal of declining birth rate and finally a lower population; or (b) we get a big influx of incompatible cultural values that replaces the current ones. option b seems way more likely to me

[MrMuffinMan]

What? Fathers play "a tinnie tiny" role in raising the kid? What is that supposed to mean. Fathers as an average population have just as much responsibility and credibility as the mom does for raising the kid.

[AleDeEurope]

I know right? "A tinnie tiny" role? Yeah, tell that to all those guys who grew up without a father and now they don't know how to shake hands properly, dress properly, treat a woman right, and basically be a man. Or tell that to all the girls that are whoring themselves to get the attention their fathers didn't give them. The girls that are scared of being with guys because they never got a dad's love.

But yeah, it's just a "tinnie tiny" role.

[tyber1]

If women don't want to acknowledge the role a man plays in creating and raising a child, they shouldn't act like father's owe them anything with regards to child support.

[Izzex3]

It's annoying.
I was bitching about this last year.
There are so many sales and deals for mother's day, but for Father's day there aren't as many and it's just annoying.

[kittykatbrat]

Vote A = Absolutely, which tbh, kills me inside as my father is EVERYTHING to me!!!

[Anonymous]

For me, my father deserves more credit, he raised me since my mother had some strokes and needed to be in a nursing home

And my friends father deserves literally all the credit, she abandoned him when he wasn't even 1 y-o, then when she came back when he was about 9 she was an abusive mother ( cigarette burns and a permanent scar on his face from a bottle) luckily it only lasted about 2 months then she abandoned them again without a word

[Prof_Don]

Especially here in America, fathers overall get VERY little credit and appreciation.

If a father is "bad" = deadbeat, 'not a man'

If a father is "good" = 'yeah you're supposed to do XYZ!'