My boyfriend doesn't see me during the week because he's tired after work... so why is he doing this now?

[Anonymous]

My long term boyfriend doesn't see me during the week because he's tired after work. But since his sister and her fiance got a house and are doing renovations he's over there working on it with them during the week.

Seeing me for 30 minutes is too much after work, but he can go do physical labor after doing that for work all day?

I'm taking it personally, am I right to?

[Cluelesswithmen]

I can totally understand why you feel this way…

He may be “busy” during the week days but at least he is spending his weekends with you (I should hope). He may be too tired to spend time with you however, these renos are for his sister, you can’t get mad at someone for doing something for a sibling…

There may be something bothering him and it might not have anything to do with you… Yes, the time he is spending at his sisters, he could be spending with you. But if you are questioning him or not making it seem like quality time then that turns into “work” for him too (emotionally being there for you).

When we feel like someone is pulling away from us we try to pull them in closer. Big mistake. This is a part of the “push and pull theory”. We naturally try to pull someone in, but we end up pushing them away. You don’t want to make him feel forced to spend time with you. You want him to come to you on his free will. You want to push him away to be able to pull him in. How do you do this? You stop asking him about when he is going to spend more time with you and make plans during the week so he knows your not waiting around for him… You then tell him, that you love him and if he needs help with the renos, that you are more than happy to help his sister complete that task. If he says there is nothing you can do to help (but thanks). Then you tell him that you are aware that he has a lot going on at this time and if he needs someone to talk too, that you are here to listen. Then leave it at that. You did what you can to support him, you have expected that he will be busy during the week and you keep yourself busy (so you aren’t thinking what he is up to or what he is thinking) and you shown him that you are there to love and support him.

Men just want a woman to make things easier. That’s the trick girls. Don’t make it seem like work. Even tho it is work, never make it seem like what he does is not enough if he is doing more right than wrong. Once you forget the good things he does he will focus on all the wrong stuff(like all he does isn’t good enough for you) and forget to do the good.

[Anonymous]

Something might be bugging him and he's trying to avoid you noticing it? (but guys aren't good at 'hiding' things) or he may be trying to distance himself from you. The best thing to do is just to sit down and tell him how you are feeling and listen to how he feels. Usually if a guy wants to see you he will make the time for it. Do you guys hang out on the weekends then? how are things between you then?

[Anonymous]

I think that work is probably stressing him out. Which he should be able to sit and relax with you after work and calm down. I think his excuse that he is too tired is a lie. There is a bigger issue there. Try to talk to him because its not right for a boyfriend to only feel like seeing you on the weekends.