Why is it more acceptable for women to be gay/bi but not for men?

[Jeeevan]

I've just always wondered why it's like this. For example, if a woman says she's bisexual/gay she's much more likely to get a positive reaction but if a man says he's bisexual/gay he's most likely going to get a negative reaction.

[SomeGuy37]

Personally, I don't care, and you can do what you want, with who you want, but don't flaunt it, and make a scene about it.
I think the big issue for most with male gay/bi, is the still lingering taboo of anal sex. When someone says a guy is gay, what do most people naturally think as their first thought: anal sex.
I don't have issues with that, and if you like it, gay or straight, and your partner is into it, do what you love!!
It's just that there are a lot of people, raised with something like OLD-Fashioned, 'Puritanical' kinds of beliefs, and they judge, and condemn, anyone not like them.
I have gay, lesbian, trans, whatever, kind of friends, and they are just my friends! I don't think about what they do, privately, because I don't care! It isn't my business!! They are my friends, because we like the same kinds of things, like movies, or food, or computer/nerdy things!!
Why does anyone care what someone does, at home, behind closed doors, to relax, or get off?
Maybe Trump likes dressing up in a lacy nightie, and letting his wife spank him for being a 'Naughty Boy' saying all that SHT he says!! Maybe Hilary straps on a toy and takes Bill? WHO CARES?
Social commentary, parody, and protected by the First Amendment, but probably soon to be deleted by the admins!! :)

[Cosytoasty]

Acceptable by whom? Men think lesbians are hot but women think gay couples are adorable.

Men however, control the world and influence perceptions, in the old days through the church and in modern times the media. Hence the seemingly one-sidedness of it.

[Jeeevan]

Men don't control the media at all lol. I would actually say that the media is more female-controlled as a whole. There are much much much more female editors than men.

[Cosytoasty]

Only very recently, my girlfriend is an editor too actually haha.

Pre-internet when it was newspaper and TV, the editor-in-chiefs were mainly men. You might be a little too young, but there has been a definite shift in attitudes in the media as women have come into the profession. Many TV shows now feature gay couples, something which was virtually unheard of when i was a kid (only 15 years ago).

[Jeeevan]

That's not to do with females at all really, it's due to various movements created by both men and women to show it's okay to be you and just stop all the hate.

[Anonymous]

I think in a way you are right about this. I think men and women have a stigma surrounding them and for men it may be that they are expected to be emotionless or just very very strong and not sensitive at all, show no feelings. Which ties to being "the alpha" and being the strong guy, fearless. And although it is stupid, some may tie being gay as a man to being more femenine. I think that's just a portion though, there is definitely more to it. I think it is definitely more sexualized, girl on girl vs guy on guy so people are more comfortable around the girl on girl idea. It's not as "odd" in their minds. And as a bi woman myself, I still have a lot a lot a lotttt of worries about how people could possibly take in the fact that I am bi, I probably won't come out any time soon. Maybe 10 years! Because people are going to see you differently. Start reffering to you as "the bi one" "oh she likes girls right?" it's gonna feel like that's all people see, and you can't come out of that once you say it. But yeah sorry I sidetracked.

[Jeeevan]

Good points and thank you, it's okay.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you!

[Imbisexual19]

My mother reacted awful. She basically said it's gross and I should keep my mouth shut. I had only told 2 people other than my husband before that. I'm not telling anybody else I know now because of her nasty reaction. Most of my family will react this way unfortunately. Most girls that come out get this treatment from family and friends. Guys we aren't related to seem to think it's hot lol guys react poorly to guys who like guys because they're jerks. They think it's fun to pick on someone who's not like them. I am not saying it's true for all men, just a lot. I hate the bad stigma being anything other than straight has.

[Sami365]

I wish I had the bravery you do. Regardless of your mom's reaction, at least you told her. From people online to all my friends from school know I'm pansexual, but no one in my family knows (other than my one cousin, who is my age and I consider a friend).

[Imbisexual19]

@Sami365 Thank you. I know how you feel. I really only have one good friend. I have a bunch of friends but they aren't really in my social circle if that makes sense, like we only talk on occasion. I told my husband about 4 months ago and he's very supportive. My good friend is one of the ones I told and she reacted very well. I told my cousin who I knew would accept me and she was perfectly fine with it and admired my bravery. Then I told my mom. I thought maybe she'd be more accepting but I was very wrong. Now I don't want to tell the rest of my family, so I understand your fear of telling yours. I think it's easier coming out to friends, because friends can be replaced. Family cannot be, so their opinion will always be more important.

[cchris989]

So if your bisexual but married does that mean you and your husband picks up girls?

[Imbisexual19]

@cchris989 nope, we aren't into the whole threesome thing.

[cchris989]

Interesting...

[Imbisexual19]

@cchris989 it's just not for us. Do we think it would be amazing, yes! But it ruins a lot of people's relationships and we don't want to risk that.

[cchris989]

So if your in a commited relationship with a guy with no plans of exploring other girls why do you still consider yourself bisexual?

[Jeeevan]

@cchris989 Do you know how bisexuality works?

[cchris989]

Yeah but how does she know it wasn't just a phase like many other girls claim it was, when there "figuring out" themselves

[Jeeevan]

@cchris989 Well i assume she;s experimented with girls prior to being with her husband.

[Imbisexual19]

@cchris989 I'm sorry, but I really don't need to go into the details of my sexuality or personal relationships with you. I'm bisexual. I don't need to explain any further.

@Jeeevan thank you for trying to help 😊

[cchris989]

No you do not

[Sami365]

@cchris989 Not sleeping with girls only sleeping with your husband doesn't affect her sexuality. As long as she is sexually attracted to girls as well as guys, she is bisexual.

[Imbisexual19]

@Sami365 Thank you!!

[Sami365]

@Imbisexual19 You're welcome :)

[cchris989]

So your saying it's totally possible for a girl to marry a bisexual man and not feel threatened by him liking other men?

[Imbisexual19]

@cchris989 Yes. To be honest if he wanted to have a boyfriend, that would be fine with me. I don't want in on the sex or to be part of the romantic relationship, but I will be friends with his boyfriend.

[Imbisexual19]

I can't sexually satisfy him in that way. My husband and I don't want threesomes. But he's told me I can have a girlfriend. I don't have one and I am not seeking one. But my point is he's not threatened. He knows he can't satisfy me sexually in that way, so if I ever want a girlfriend, I can have one. No I didn't ask him for this. He actually just out of the blue told me a couple months ago.

[cchris989]

So it an open relationship, cause that sound like the definition of an open relationship.

[Imbisexual19]

@cchris989 kind of? This is difficult to explain. He's straight, and will not go out and seek girls. He has me so he's not going to go have a side girl, girlfriend, fuck buddy, whatever you wanna call it. And since I have him, I'm not seeing the opposite gender either. He's allowed me to have a girlfriend if I chose because he is not a girl as well.

[Sara413]

Because women's bodies have always been overly sexualized in our culture, so it's easier for people to accept that a woman might be sexually attracted to female bodies. Straight men seem to have this idea in their heads that male bodies are not sexy so it seems weird to them for anyone, let alone another man, to be sexually attracted to one. They seem to think straight women re not really sexually attracted but it's just a biological imperative or something.

[iceEverestere]

I agree to this...

[bente2]

Because men are expected to be amnly and not show any type of feelings to the world wheras if a woman is 'butch' no one really cares. If a woman is bi men cheer it on.

Honestly most of these things and how people feel about them are controlled by men and their image.

[Jeeevan]

That's so true.

[shessoheavy]

This

[BlueCoyote]

It mostly has to do with men, actually. Just look at people like the GaG user Iron_Man who go around telling everyone how much they hate "faggots" and how "fucking disgusting" gay people supposedly are.
Overall, women are far more relaxed and open-minded about these things and about social progress in general. Many men, sadly, are a bunch of intolerant macho jackasses.

[HandsomeRaj]

Awesome question that has a much more deep rooted answer than what people tend to believe in generally.

The answers you beget are those that are based on eons of being made to believe it.

Why it was made acceptable in the almost after caveman era stems from the fact that nature's only motive is expansion through procreation.

1. 2 women having sex even the idea of it turns on a man - nature's way of ensuring procreation (not that there aren't women that get turned on by 2 men doing it but the numbers are far less than the other way round)
2. The man is physically powerful than a woman thus can force himself on her thus get her pregnant
2.1. Those days there was not even a remote idea of abortion leave alone contraception
2.2. Which is why what is considered 'savage' by the modern world - polyamory / community living, used to ensure survival of any offspring
2.3. Thus a lot of ancient civilisations did not even have concept of marriage but believed in one for all all for one
3. Once the 'civilised world' started coming to be, they started slut shaming bi & gay in the name of God & religion. This over eons became a subconscious norm with most

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't say it's "more acceptable." All the time bi women are told they are "just seeking attention" or "just going through a phase." Or guys will say bi women are not girlfriend material because they are "more likely to cheat." The only reason there are a lot of straight guys that claim to be okay with bi women but not bi men are because these straight guys sexualize bi women. But that's not actually respecting bi women.

Bi acceptance is definitely an issue, and it's sad that bi men and bi women are not respected. It's sad that many sexualities are not accepted.

[Jeeevan]

Guys haven't done this really, it's the porn industry who keeps pushing all of this stuff out.

[Opinion Owner]

Guys have though. You're only 16 so you might not be aware of it happening as much, but I've spoken to guys in real life that have said themselves they find bi girls hot but bi guys gross, because it's all about sex for them. Bi women receive constant messages on dating profiles asking about threesomes, except it HAS to be a FFM thressome. Bi women are constantly sexualized by real-life men. The porn industry may be responsible for pushing it out but there are men who are watching that and buying into it.

[Jeeevan]

I honestly never ever see bi women being sexualised in anyway at all. Some men like to watch lesbian porn so you could say lesbians are sexualised a little. Plus, it's not just men who "sexualise" bi-women, its actually other women too.

[Opinion Owner]

Please re-read what I wrote. Just because you personally don't see it, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. You are only 16 and you're a guy, so of course you wouldn't experience it. But there MANY bi women who can tell you MANY stories about how they've been sexualized by straight men. I'm not saying all straight men do it, but yes there are men out there who do.

[Jeeevan]

If there are men who do it then there is very few lol. I think Bi women aren't sexualized at all though, that's just my opinion. I never here a guy going out of this way to get a bi woman, it just doesn't happen. Yeah you can keep saying i only 16 but what I'm saying is true soo..

[Jeeevan]

i never hear of a*

[itsallover]

Asker, can you read? You are not a bi woman, so how can you invalidate their experiences when you're a (I'm assuming straight) male? Geez...

[snowangle]

I've also heard guys say "bi women are more likely to cheat" and "I'd totally date a bi girl because threesomes." Lesbians and bi girls are sexualized.

[Jeeevan]

@snowangle Yeah i understand the bi girls will be more likely to cheat because i thought that too once. But yeah i like Lesbians are sexualised, i don't think bi girls are at all as a whole.

[Jeeevan]

But yeah i agree that*

[Opinion Owner]

@Jeeevan what you are saying is not true. And it's not a matter of opinions because it actually happens. A fact cannot be an opinion. It is a fact that bi women have been sexualized by men. There are so many bi women that have stories to prove that is true, and it is completely ridiculous for you to invalidate those experiences.
If I say, "I've never seen anyone steal things from Target, so Target doesn't have shoplifters." That's completely ridiculous. I can't say "I believe Target doesn't have shoplifters and that's a true opinion." I'm sure many Target workers have stories about shoplifters, therefore proving it's not a matter of opinion, and that my claim is false. Do you understand that analogy?

[Rawrzz]

Probably because it's a lot dirtier to be male and gay. Significantly more risky. It's just a fact. And, wasting semen is probably subconsciously shouting, "you are harming human population growth", (of course, this doesn't make any sense, because that stuff is near infinite) whereas, there is no reproductive waste when it comes to bi chicks.

Our instincts don't know there are 7 billion of us. They still think it's 20,000 years ago. Incidentally, the same reason women get slut shamed. Because it's seen as being irresponsible with their finite eggs. But again, it doesn't make sense, because semen is pretty much infinite... mmmmm

Then, maybe it's just based off religion. In the bible, homosexuality is an "abomination"... for males. Doesn't say shit about females. I would compare it to a society like Japan, without Christianity, which is steeped in a history of culturally accepted homosexuality. Yeah. I'd say it's related to religion.

[Ferretman21]

Men are more sexual, most men are straight or in the closet. If a woman says she's bi-sexual, most men will think 'SWEET THAT'S HOT TWO WOMEN?' If a guy says he is bi-sexual men think that is nasty, feminine, unclean, and lots of other things I'm sure.

Women are less sexual in general and don't really care, so it's natural they won't think the same on the subject as men, but I have seen some women think it's just as nasty. Some women think it's hot, and think similar to a man's way of thinking towards a bi-sexual woman.

In general I think women are just more understanding about it.

[Ferretman21]

In today's world just do what makes you happy, you don't have to be all open about it and public. Someone is ALWAYS going to not like it, hate it, like it or love it. It's just reality there's always gonna be someone against you, and someone who will be okay with it.

[falafelany1]

It's difficult. I have a male friend going through this right now. He has always been attracted to women but in the past few years he has noticed he might also be attracted to men. This is a difficult time for him and he is confused and frustrated trying to figure himself out. All I can do is support him.

[Anonymous]

The question here is more about bi men (I think). Gay men and women seem to be accepted equally, though I could be wrong. I think the struggle for bi men stems from straight men are used to seeing women with other women in porn. Therefore, straight men are not weirded out by it. In fact, many of them find it hot and are fine with there SO being bisexual. Most girls, on the other hand, aren't into M/M porn at all. Whether or not it's true, women may see men who have attraction to another men as less masculine, and therefore less attractive. Most women want a guy who is straight, not bisexual. Then bisexual men are in this vortex where some women don't want to date them because they're bi and some gay men don't want to date them because they're bi. I don't know how true it is (probably because I'm not part of the LGBT community), but I've heard that there are gay men who don't want their partner to be swinging for both teams.

[Imcmullan]

As someone who is apart of the LGBT community, you're absolutely right.

[Opinion Owner]

@Imcmullan Thanks! My LGBT friends have told me about this struggle for bi guys. It is really unfortunate.

[objectivetruth]

On that note though, I could never get why some men find lesbianism "hot", especially on porn. Girl-on-girl action isn't really a turn on as much as watching men fuck women. When watching normal hetero porn, I imagine myself as being the lucky guy fucking the hot pale strawberry blonde in lingerie before me, whereas if it was another girl fucking the same girl, it would be a complete turn off for me as I cannot relate to her the same way I would relate to the lucky guy. That's why the majority of men prefer watching straight porn.

[Luci92]

The idea of two women being together is romanticized and almost promoted among popular culture.
The amount of times I have heard a guy say girl on girl is hot is insane. I've even heard 'it's not cheating on me if you hook up with another girl' like wtf?
I've also seen a lot of girls, who have clearly stated they're straight, hook up with another chick just to please the guys around them. Happens a lot at high school tbh.

[Jeniferh21]

I personally find two guys kissing extremely sexy, but whenever I tell that to a guy, they're like " that's gross"

[Ephemera1]

Cause it is gross

[Jeniferh21]

But two girls kissing is hot right?

[Jeeevan]

Question: do most girls like two guy kissing or watch gay porn?

[Jeniferh21]

I do, but as my friend ephemera1 said " that's gross"

[Ephemera1]

No actually it's not.

[Jeniferh21]

@Ephemera1 no no no you can't change what you said 😂

[Ephemera1]

That was in response to your question. "But two girls kissing is hot right?"

[Jeniferh21]

@Ephemera1 oh ok, I misunderstood 😁

[Yoloxt23]

@Ephemera1 Bud, you're 17... why the hell you're on here anyways?

[Ephemera1]

@Yoloxt23 Yup, because age has anything to do with it.

[Yoloxt23]

@Ephemera1 You didn't properly answered my question but I know you're 17, it's ok. Anyways, age has anything to do with it. You're a minor and minors aren't belong to sites like this so gtfo kid.

[Ephemera1]

@Yoloxt23 That's cute

[Yoloxt23]

@Ephemera1 smh, you'll get what I'm saying one day...

[Ephemera1]

@Yoloxt23 That's even cuter

[Jeniferh21]

@Yoloxt23 You wouldn't have answered me like that right big boy? 😂

[Yoloxt23]

No, I wouldn't. I have a guy friends who's homosexual himself and we bond like two peas in a pod.

[StolenUsername]

It's because most of the stigma about homosexuality comes from straight men (not saying it doesn't come from women either), and it's well known that some men find two women sleeping together sexy. But they feel repulsed by the same thing happening between two men. Probably because they're men and would not like to do it themselves. It makes them feel uncomfortable. Just says a lot about them as individuals really.
•-•

[Jeeevan]

Good points, i agree.

[Jeeevan]

I don't get why men feel this way towards other men though, its sad.

[StolenUsername]

Some people just don't (and won't) understand something that isn't the "norm" for them. They just want the world to be their way, if anything corrupts this view they get angry because they don't understand that people can't just conform to what they see as "natural", they're not straight and they never will be, there's nothing they or anyone else can do about it 🏃🏻👬

[Jeeevan]

That's true, some people are just so backwardsss

[Jeeevan]

I think people should just let people do whatever makes them happy.

[Anonymous]

Woman are seen as the lower tier thats why.

Men are strong and a slightly higher tier. So if u see a another man acting like a female or engage in female activitys then it doesn't make sense.

Gener is not a social construct look at the animal life. wouldn't it look weird. If a male lion startes doing what female lion does.

I can't understand why would u want to be that way. Im a man. And i wouldn't do it so why wpuld anothwr man do it.

Woman and men aren't equal i can't do what she does and she can't do what i do. So a woman being with a woman might make more sense but a male to. A male does not.

No shade or hate just tons of typos and grammars errors

[xkellier94x]

I have to disagree here. Men in Ireland have a more positive acceptance than women coming out as gay/bi whatever. I remember being in school and there were girls who were openly gay and they got shit for it but any guy who came out was never verbally attacked or physically for that matter.

[Jeeevan]

On average women are usually more accepted that's all. There are exceptions for everything.

[TokyoGhoulLover]

I don't know,

it's a patriarchal society so you find it hot?

Girls are already close with each other so what's another step? Dudes just aren't the touchy feelly kind of friends.

... Someone found a bible loophole? Who knows it could be anything really.

[Jeeevan]

It doesn't have anything to do with society lol. I used to when we was in a proper patriarchy, now i dont even know what we are in, i guess a modern patriarchy pushing for equaity?

[Jeeevan]

it* were*

[TokyoGhoulLover]

-.- dude I dont fuckin know! Here I am just Eating my sandwich and ur asking about the fate of the world and shit. ಠ_ಠ I got my own problems! Like Why does Jimmy Johns give you a hundred packs of mustard but only One fuckin napkin? (ノಠ益ಠ) ノ彡┻━┻ The fuck is this? A Warm-Up?

[LadyTerror]

^ What? 😂

[TokyoGhoulLover]

@LadyTerror '-' as u can see me and Jimmy Johns have issues with one another.

[Jeeevan]

Whose Jimmy Johns, Im so confused,

[Jeeevan]

Who is*

[TokyoGhoulLover]

Jimmy Johns is like Subway. They sell sandwiches. It's a very popular franchise in the U. S.

[uknaked]

Often it is because gay or bi guys are expected to have anal sex, which a lot of people find to be unacceptable, despite the fact that many mixed couples end up having anal sex.
The fact is that, to some degree, everybody is bi, but bi guys who are mainly hetero will deny their gay side.
Lots of married guys are bi, when not with their wives, don't want anal sex, but are happy with giving or receiving a blow job!

[MargaritaPeach]

This is almost word for word what I was going to say. I agree with everything you mentioned. Anal is still a pretty taboo subject, even though a lot of people are curious about it and have tried it themselves, which I find funny. And being bi is more accepted than it was 10 years ago. I think progress is being made, and having gay marriage in the media has helped bring awareness and given people a platform for open discussion. It is very unfair that women are treated less scornfully than men in many situations. I think it's a sad part of society, but at least it's starting to change.

[cheapshotbob]

i think its become socially acceptable with how some people think woman jsut are more attractive together than guys.

i mean if you look up the best sellers in the porn world it will most likely be girl on girl or girl on girl on guy, guy on guy is not so popular because they are not as seductive as a woman and never will be.

thats just me because i prefer women.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

Well in my opinion, it's usually a male driven world and the idea of open homosexuality is still something the world is adjusting to. So if a girl admits she's bi, Guys go WOAH!! but if guy admits he's bi to his girlfriend, its a strong chance she's going to be a little uncomfortable and possibly turned off but not always. Either way, in another couple of years it may be the same reaction for both bi guys and girls.

[cross98]

nah, jeevan. women are more softer on gay guys and welcome them. look at tyler oakley, he has so many female followers who uplifted him. his mom accepted him, while his dad didn't... my cousin is bi and she got shit for it by some peers and her own mom.

[BiscuitesSwag]

Women aren't seen as "less womanly" if she has homosexual tendencies, unlike guys. Also, many guys find lesbian girls making out hot, so they are kind of sexualized, which makes them more accepted in society.

[Jeeevan]

I get what you mean but about the lesbians making out, I think some women think we like prefer lesbians instead of straight girls so they try to be more like them. I'm not sure if you get what i mean but yeah.

[BiscuitesSwag]

I have had a conversation with my boyfriend on LGB topic (I intentionally omitted T and the other letters) and paraphrasing him: In the guys community lesbians are pretty high on the list because it's hot when 2 girls make out.

[Jeeevan]

Yeah, i get that but when we say we like them it's not that we like lesbian girls lol. I think women get confused about this. We think it looks hot but we definitely like straight women.

[BiscuitesSwag]

It would be ironic to want to date a lesbian woman as a guy or straight girl because she wouldn't want to have anything to do with you besides friendship.
And we girls don't act "gay" to attract guys. We are just more comfortable with each other, hence why we aren't disgusted by giving a peck on a girl's cheeks or something.

[Jeeevan]

You dont understand what i mean still.

[anonman32]

"women aren't seen as less womanly" sorry but i disagree completely. there are lesbian women who look look and behave more masculine than some men. the manly lesbians are not womanly at all.

[BiscuitesSwag]

@anonman32 I mean they aren't seen "less womanly" by society like guys are seen as feminine/unmanly if they dare to hug a guy or something.
I know a lesbian and she has kinda man-ish face features but doesn't act like a guy. I don't say that all lesbians are like her, but I don't think most lesbians are butch and most gays are flamboyants.

[anonman32]

you hear it often you know in guy talk that guys jokingly talk about how masculine some lesbians are, especially if we see one.

[Jeeevan]

@anonman32 I never hear that, ever, i think its just the short hair that they tend to have that makes them seem masculine or manly.

[anonman32]

maybe its just a thing from my country?

[redeyemindtricks]

"Women aren't seen as "less womanly" if she has homosexual tendencies, unlike guys."

In the powerful classes (in American society at least), any woman who has a serious romantic relationship with another woman has pretty much shut herself out of the marriage market forever.

In those classes, it's EXACTLY the same for male and female homo- or bisexuality.
Neither is "accepted" in the least bit; both pretty much mean getting blacklisted from the upper echelons of power and influence; AT BEST both are quietly tolerated, never discussed in polite company, and ultimately kept at an increasing distance until they're shoved completely out the door.

[rjroy3]

Gay is considered feminine traditionally. Guys being feminine is traditionally rejected, unless he's an artist of some kind like a singer or lead guitarist. Something that offsets that he's more of a sensitive guy.
Even a lot of women have problems with bisexual men, because they just feel like he's gay and hasn't committed yet or isn't ready to.

[Yoloxt23]

And promiscuity is considered masculine traditionally! Women who are masculine are considered sluts and whores, and no guys (at least not me) wouldn't ever long term date nor marry a filthy whore!