My Girlfriend Cheated On Me With Another Woman and Everyone Is Defending Her?

[Anonymous]

I was dating my girlfriend for 3 years. Everything was fine but she started acting weird. Then one day I came home from work early and found her in bed with another woman. I was hurt and angry so I told her to get her stuff and get out of my apartment and I left and came back to the apartment later that night and she was gone along with her stuff.

We spoke later on the phone and basically, she said thought she was gay when she was a kid but then thought she was straight when she was a teenager and then thought she was a lesbian at 17 but then was straight again and now she is realizing she is bisexual. She had urges and fantasies she never got to explore and she didn't feel that I am a man was good enough or her because I didn't fulfill the other side of her attraction.

This is a bullshit excuse. If she is bisexual, fine whatever, but that doesn't excuse cheating. If she felt she couldn't handle being in a monogamous relationship or wanted to explore she could have talked to me about it or broken up with me and not stay with me and lie behind my back. Apparently, she has cheated on me several times with 2 women.

My Ex girlfriend and I have the same circle of friends. When I went to the UNI I spoke to my friends and all of our friends defended her. They said I should be more understanding about LGBTQ issues and me feeling hurt for cheating doesn't compare to the historical oppression that LBGTQ people face. They said I can't understand it because I have the privilege to not deal with conflicting sexual feelings, and for me to be upset is sorta homophobic/biphobic and I'm not being empathetic enough.

Honestly, this got me so mad I ended up dropping all of my friends. How can they defend her cheating on me because of conflicting feelings? Being Gay or Bisexual isn't an excuse to cheat. If she wanted to be a lesbian she could be honest and break up with me. How dare they call me homophobic for feeling the way I feel. Right now I hate my life. Advice or thoughts?

Updates

+1 y

It's already bad enough I lost my girlfriend but I also lost all of my closes friends.

Updates

+1 y

When we spoke on the phone she thanked me for not acting like a typical dude who would ask for a threesome in a situation like that because she said if I would have asked for a threesome it would show her I don't really care about her and only saw her as a sexual object and it would be sexist and be fetishizing a lgbtq person.

[Anonymous]

Well, look at the positive side, at least now you know you didn't have any friends to begin with! They could have shown their true colours at an even more unfortunate time like, God forbid, maybe when you were in huge financial trouble or in a fatal accident and needed their help. Good riddance, I say! Also, making new friends is always fun, look forward to it. 😇

According to what you said, you are right for being upset with your ex and your former "friends".

They are being idiotic, very hypocritical and unreasonable, the whole bunch of them! Trends can be such a bummer, sometimes.

Hold you head up high. You'll find someone that deserves you some day!

Forgive but don't forget. Learn from this experience and never let anyone else take advantage of you like that! Be a better person, never let anyone else do this to you, sure... however, even more importantly, never do this to anyone that comes into your life in future specially now that you know how it feels!

Hope this helps and all the best, bruv! 😇😇😇

[BlueCoyote]

I understand your anger and frustration. And yes, you are not homophobic or biphobic for feeling this way. There are very few cases where cheating is acceptable and this is certainly NOT one of them. Your ex-girlfriend's explanation seems genuine but it is no excuse for her actions.

One advice I can give you is to not take your friends' words too literally. I don't believe this was even about LGBTQ-issues for them. It's more like... they're her friends. So maybe they were just looking for SOME way of defending her. And this seemed like a feasible way to win the argument... pulling the victim-card, so to speak.

Beyond that, there's unfortunately not too much I can say. I hope you will find a better girl, one who doesn't cheat on you. I wish it for you. And I wish you the strength to go through this situation. I can only imagine how crappy you must feel. Hang in there.

[MsLoli]

Your friends were biased, completely blinded by "LGBTQ issues" that they figured they have to support it no matter what, which makes them idiots. You're right, being bi doesn't excuse cheating. She could have at least asked you if you would engage in a threesome with another girl or if she could experiment, but she fuckin' went behind your back and fucked someone else in a monogamous relationship without your permission and that's disgraceful. Get yourself a decent girl and some friends who aren't moronic fuckwits.

[NotJustAName]

Cheating is cheating. No matter what your orientation is. I'm asexual and if I were in a relationship with someone of another orientation, I WOULD NOT have an emotional affair with another asexual. Yes, being asexual is also hard in this world BUT it doesn't give me an excuse.
Those people weren't really your friends. Time to find ones who actually think and care about you.

[Kat_puppies]

preach it girl cause im like that too

[Kenni]

Yeah I'm really sorry about what you're going through. Of course you have every right to be mad, she fucking cheated. Your 'friends' are jerks.

[Sylvesterstweets]

I second Kenni's opinion.

[dogbert444]

Cheating has nothing to do with LGBT issues. The two are entirely different. Anyone can have a full understanding of LGBT and what it means, but cheating, in whatever combination of sexes and orientations you like to mention, is ALWAYS wrong. No excuses!

[madgoat]

She behaved badly. Then your friend behaved badly.
Your ex friends can quote all the pc dogma they want. Clearly they have lost the sense they were born with.
Your ex and you had a long standing commitment. She went behind your back and cheated on you several times.

[CellOutSouledOut]

You should NOT tolerate this. You should ESPECIALLY NOT be civil towards her in any way. Next time she calls you, tell her that if she ever comes to your apartment again, you''ll rape her and kill her.

If you ever want to get revenge, message me. I have some ideas to ruin her life and help you get even with her...

[NotJustAName]

Whoa. I agree that her behavior shouldn't be tolerated and that she shouldn't go back to his apartment. HOWEVER, killing/raping people is going too far. I had a guy cheat on me with MY FRIEND! But revenge doesn't solve anything, it just keeps you chained to the person who hurt you.

[Asker]

CellOut dude that could actually get me introuble, last thing I need is to get arrested for threats, and I don't want revenge but sure I don't need to be civil with her, if she ever wants to talk again I'll put my foot down but I won't resort to verbal threats or physical violence

[CellOutSouledOut]

Well, if you ever want to get revenge, I could do it for you and she'd never know you were involved. Message me if you're interested...

[Crapulux]

If they use the words "oppression" and "privilege" they are social justice warriors, so you were right to dump them as friends. I wouldn't touch this scum with a ten foot pole, unless it had a sharpened bit of steel on the end.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

This is why I refuse to take these people seriously.

You know what? Your situation infuriates me so much that I'm giving you an invitation to message me about it. I'm completely fucking serious.

Y'know that thing girls tend to do where after something like this happens to them, they talk about it and fly into a rage in unison? Well guess what, you and me are gonna do that. My messaging's open.

[burpzzzzz]

Being sexually confused is not a good excuse. If she wanted to have sex with a woman she should have broke up with you first. On if you wanted a 3somei it's bad eh? You can not win with women. Do not talk to her ever again. Most will not own my to her shitty behavior. She's bi because she want to use men's resources.
Maybe you should ask women if they are bi. I don't see anything wrong wanting a 3some though.

[aestheticsofty]

Your ex friends are jerks. You have every right to be mad and hurt.

[Anonymous]

LGBTQ doesn't stand for having a right to be a horrible person. I swear sjw types will excuse anything for their pet groups.

[MiamiMadness]

Cheating is cheating, gender has nothing to do with it

[coolguyXD]

You now wen boys do something wrong we are the devil, but women get 10th tries to do it right.

[Kat_puppies]

dude idc if she is my kind, she is a whore, i be backing you up all the way, forget that bitch, want me to get her down, at pointed like this idgaf about lgbt because once a cheater always a cheater

[jdoutworld]

Dump that ho and walk dude. Cheating is cheating. You don't do it. You expect the same tell a your friends to fuck off coz they're all morons.

[Paul1412]

This is why you shouldn't get a girlfriend within your circle of friends, she's suppose to have her own friends and you're supposed to have your own.

[Paul1412]

Plus, I'd do the same thing if I was you and I'd totally got your back 100% man, cheating is cheating.

[disgustingweebtrash]

Your closest friends were never really your friends, you lost nothing but burdens my guy

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Preach it dude.

[pac12us]

Get a new girlfriend, lol its a fucked story bro... by the way no joke I would make a threesome

[Asker]

When we spoke on the phone she thanked me for not acting like a typical dude who would ask for a threesome in a situation like that because she said if I would have asked for a threesome it would show her I don't really care about her and only saw her as a sexual object and it would be sexist and fetishizing a lgbtq person.

[pac12us]

Xd, the funny thing is. That you hopefully don't care about her anymore. So why not

[CellOutSouledOut]

Yeah, if you're a real man you DON'T and WON'T care about her anymore, except to hate her. Curse her out next time you're on the phone with her.

[Asker]

Pac12us Well I was sayin that because in her mind if I asked for a threesome it means I don't care but her cheating on he is the ultimate way of showing someone they don't care so I found her comment ironic. It's like she doesn't even have a right to talk about that.

If I asked for a threesome, funny thing is, at least I'm talking to her and not going behind her back. Asking for a threesome isn't cheating, going behind my back and fucking a woman is cheating. So even if I did ask for a threesome her argument still falls apart.

[Humbledman74006]

Sorry brother, I agree with you, she should have spoke up

[DomDaBomb]

LGBTQLMNOPQRS BLAH BLAH bullshit.

[OlderGuy965]

I don't consider that cheating

[TheSpartan]

The sodimites are scum, and they defend scum.

[Sabretooth]

doesn't she sound like a hypocrite...

[Sabretooth]

this is the same crap i've been saying-you can't be bi and expect to be fateful! you gotta chose

[Sabretooth]

before i get downvotes-who can change their gender at the drop of a hat?