What are your thoughts on people guilt tripping you after you rejected them?

Question

Guilt trip: make (someone) feel guilty, especially in order to get them to do what you want.

A guy has guilt tripped me before after I rejected him. It didn’t even make me feel bad. Sure, I’d feel bad if he wasn’t trying to manipulate me, I mean I have a heart, but he was basically sobbing under my feet to try and change my mind into giving in. Rejection is never easy, but trying to make someone feel bad for rejecting you is never an okay thing to do, no matter how much you like the person.

bethshepherd · Accepted Answer

Had more of this than most. Used to see clients face to face in my office, a lot of the men would say "oh I thought if I paid you a bit more you would do extras" or but surely you fancy me? you must, I fancy you, I will come back latter when you have seen your other clients and we will have sex (!!!). In other words insulting, selfish nasty people. Some were very difficult and pestered me thinking they would get me to change my mind.
It never occurred to any of these low lives that I was married or had a boyfriend or not needing to or interested in selling sex.
The funniest one came to me for hypnotherapy to stop smoking.
He paid me $500 to stop him smoking, which took me about an hour.
He then went on and on about how he wanted sex with me and would pay me $25 for a night of sex ! Why would anyone who earns $500 an hour with their clothes on give a whole night of sex for $25?
He had been visiting prostitutes and was fed up with paying them a lot more and told me he needed to find a woman like me _ not sure what he meant by like me - who was as attractive and young as them but a lot cheaper than them! He was so insulting.
A few days later he put $25 through the letter box with a note saying that he had decided I must spend the might with him, whether I like it or not, and he would be there all night tomorrow!
Really?
My very large boyfriend told him otherwise when he turned up.
Some of these guys assumed that because I lived alone they could just help themselves and I had to say yes, or I must be "gagging" for it.
One of the reasons the leading therapists and psychics work by email and phone instead of face to face is because of all of the pestering and dangers they can face when seeing clients face to face.
http://www.accuratepsychicreadingsonline.com

Alice2398 · Accepted Answer

As someone who's been on both ends of this situation I think it's totally not worth making someone feel guilty for rejecting you it's pathetic you can't make someone like you and it's going make them even less likely to want to be with you if you act immature about it, if you truly have feels for someone you never want them to feel bad that's just fuck up and emotionally abusive.

For someone who feels guilty about rejecting someone I'd say from my experience carry on as normal with them and don't make a big deal out of it. They will find someone else and if their deliberately making you constantly feel guilty about it and harassing you need to tell them straight up "I'm sorry but you need to move on I know it hurts but you'll never get anywhere acting this way with me" neither of you are victims in this it just how life is and your not to blame if their feelings are hurt.

whyisitso · Accepted Answer

When someone does that to me I think to myself "well, this is why I made the right thing".

I was once quite interested in a shy nerd that didn't know how to be around me. He was so cute when he was all blushing and confused. I liked him.
Then he told he he had noticed I liked him and asked me to have sex with him out of the blue. I got just really surprised and my first reaction was to reject him. After I kindly told him I'm not that kind of girl he immediately said: well I didn't like you anyway! And he started almost crying and told me how awkward I made him feel.

Dause · Accepted Answer

Well.. sometimes people are also just arrogant to the extent that they think they are being guilt tripped when really the other person is just pointing out the flaws in their character and not giving a damn whether the other person wants to try and go out or not... because people in general are supposed to be somewhat open minded and not sweat the small stuff, which is why they wouldn't overreact even if your sort of bitchy, but~ that can only apply if you actually have something to be guilty or something you were actually bitchy about. Though, if your a heartless person, you easily could have numerous things you should feel guilty about without realizing.

john_dough · Accepted Answer

Kind of a psychotic behaviour. He might just be trying to overcome the awkwardness that it can create. But he might be building up to some sort of punishment for someone that clearly needs to be punished. NO ONE IN THEY'RE RIGHT MIND WOULD EVERY REJECT THE PERFECTION THAT IS ME. UNLESS OF COURSE she's A CRUEL AND EVIL WITCH THAT TAKES PLEASURE IN THE PAIN OF GREAT GUYS LIKE ME. SHE MUST BE PUNISHED SO THAT SHE CAN UNDERSTAND THAT SHE MUST CHANGE.
All guys are a little bit crazy when it comes to woman. some of them are crazy enough to inspire movies and documentaries though.

Jxy95 · Answer

Guys who guilt trip is pathetic, I went out with a guy before who always say how bad his ex treated him (like he bad talk all his ex) and make himself seem like the victim and for a while I did believe him. But when I said I don't want to hangout with him anymore, he bombarded me with texts and say I am using him and all. Pathetic

davidnoxier · Answer

You are right. The person who is being rejected often does not understand that being on the other part it's not easy. It can be though to reject someone. Mostly when the other person has a lot of emotions and will try to keep pushing, and not accepting the rejection.

SaintJonesy · Answer

What do you consider guilt tripping? I mean what exactly did he do to make you feel bad? Guilt is a normal emotion to experience. Irrational in this case, but emotions are as often as they're not.

Sometimes, we associate the other person with our own guilt, in effect making them accountable for our feelings. And sometimes people try to cling for WAY too long and end up embarrassing themselves.

binarybabe001 · Answer

Whoa! Really? Sobbing at your feet and begging? This guy is not only emotionally manipulative but obviously suffering from some kind of mental or emotional illness. Stay away from him! This guy doesn't need a girlfriend he needs a good therapist and to exercise some self restraint when interacting with people.

Browneye57 · Answer

No one can MAKE you feel anything. YOU get to decide. NEVER, give up power over your emotions to ANYONE else. EVER.

If you don't like him don't explain it, just tell him you're not interested, or not in a place to date, and cut off all communication. If he doesn't get that then just tell him to FUCK OFF.

Fhamator · Answer

If you let him down easily and acted in a nice way then its not your fault he is just mad at himself for not having success with girls , if he focused on getting better rather than getting mad at the girl he will a lot happier and care free to care about a rejection.

thenewgirlll · Answer

That's fucking pathetic. I've been rejected before and it made me feel bad but I didn't gave them the fault, I always assumed it was my fault. Which is wrong because there was no one's fault. Everyone has different preferences.

Gypsy_x · Answer

If he was being snarky or manipulative, I wouldn't feel bad, it would make me feel uncomfortable and think less of the person. If he was genuinely sad, I would feel bad that I upset him.

MLGbreezy · Answer

I mean i don't think cause he was sobbing he was guilt tripping you being over dramatic maybe but guilt tripping no. Besides girls are so disrespectful with half there rejections these days anyways that most guys are learning not to give a fuck what most females say

probablynothuman · Answer

i dated a guy that tried to guilt trip me into having sex with him. he would say things like “cmon i do so much for u” or “i just bought u a nice ass dinner” when i NEVER asked him to do anything and made it very clear i didn’t want to have sex. i’d say it’s a form of attempted rape/ sexual abuse

Logorithim · Answer

I guess it's generally guys that do this. I wouldn't like it and it wouldn't get me to change my mind (it would actually reinforce that I made the right decision).

Marinepilot · Answer

If they really hurt me, then it's open season. otherwise I ignore them and go on about my business. If I have romantic feelings and get rejected, I say, "If you're shopping for friends, you're in the wrong store. Call me if you change your mind". Turn, walk away and never, ever speak to them again. If a girl rejects a guy rudely, then she deserves whatever anger and guilt he maY THROW BACK AT HER.

MindTime · Answer

Possibly a defense mechanism, but if you are straight up about your feelings, that's better than giving in and getting into a relationship you don't want

Chanel1981 · Answer

Nobody likes rejection but that behavior shows a lack of character and self respect

Platypus007 · Answer

He doesn’t know what else to do, it takes lots of experience and wisdom, to understand how to seduce you back, and he simply hasn’t learned how, so that is all he knows right now... he will learn, but you getting turned off

creampie99 · Answer

From my experiance, insecure and not respectful of your feelings. It will only get worse

whatsgoingonwithme · Answer

I think its pretty stupid. Why place yourself so low to that point. What are the chances. Not cool.

Brokenheartedx · Answer

Ah you’ve met the classic narcissist then.. Don’t be guilty be glad

Anonymous · Answer

Oh please, no time for that. Shows how immature and desperate they are. They should respect your feelings and move on.

Landshrk0068 · Answer

I find it pretty funny, because it just shows how pathetic and weak they really are, and it just reinforces that I made the right choice.

What are your thoughts on people guilt tripping you after you rejected them?

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