What are your thoughts on people guilt tripping you after you rejected them?

Question

Guilt trip: make (someone) feel guilty, especially in order to get them to do what you want.

A guy has guilt tripped me before after I rejected him. It didn’t even make me feel bad. Sure, I’d feel bad if he wasn’t trying to manipulate me, I mean I have a heart, but he was basically sobbing under my feet to try and change my mind into giving in. Rejection is never easy, but trying to make someone feel bad for rejecting you is never an okay thing to do, no matter how much you like the person.

bethshepherd · Accepted Answer

Had more of this than most. Used to see clients face to face in my office, a lot of the men would say "oh I thought if I paid you a bit more you would do extras" or but surely you fancy me? you must, I fancy you, I will come back latter when you have seen your other clients and we will have sex (!!!). In other words insulting, selfish nasty people. Some were very difficult and pestered me thinking they would get me to change my mind.
It never occurred to any of these low lives that I was married or had a boyfriend or not needing to or interested in selling sex.
The funniest one came to me for hypnotherapy to stop smoking.
He paid me $500 to stop him smoking, which took me about an hour.
He then went on and on about how he wanted sex with me and would pay me $25 for a night of sex ! Why would anyone who earns $500 an hour with their clothes on give a whole night of sex for $25?
He had been visiting prostitutes and was fed up with paying them a lot more and told me he needed to find a woman like me _ not sure what he meant by like me - who was as attractive and young as them but a lot cheaper than them! He was so insulting.
A few days later he put $25 through the letter box with a note saying that he had decided I must spend the might with him, whether I like it or not, and he would be there all night tomorrow!
Really?
My very large boyfriend told him otherwise when he turned up.
Some of these guys assumed that because I lived alone they could just help themselves and I had to say yes, or I must be "gagging" for it.
One of the reasons the leading therapists and psychics work by email and phone instead of face to face is because of all of the pestering and dangers they can face when seeing clients face to face.
http://www.accuratepsychicreadingsonline.com

Alice2398 · Accepted Answer

As someone who's been on both ends of this situation I think it's totally not worth making someone feel guilty for rejecting you it's pathetic you can't make someone like you and it's going make them even less likely to want to be with you if you act immature about it, if you truly have feels for someone you never want them to feel bad that's just fuck up and emotionally abusive.

For someone who feels guilty about rejecting someone I'd say from my experience carry on as normal with them and don't make a big deal out of it. They will find someone else and if their deliberately making you constantly feel guilty about it and harassing you need to tell them straight up "I'm sorry but you need to move on I know it hurts but you'll never get anywhere acting this way with me" neither of you are victims in this it just how life is and your not to blame if their feelings are hurt.

whyisitso · Accepted Answer

When someone does that to me I think to myself "well, this is why I made the right thing".

I was once quite interested in a shy nerd that didn't know how to be around me. He was so cute when he was all blushing and confused. I liked him.
Then he told he he had noticed I liked him and asked me to have sex with him out of the blue. I got just really surprised and my first reaction was to reject him. After I kindly told him I'm not that kind of girl he immediately said: well I didn't like you anyway! And he started almost crying and told me how awkward I made him feel.

Dause · Accepted Answer

Well.. sometimes people are also just arrogant to the extent that they think they are being guilt tripped when really the other person is just pointing out the flaws in their character and not giving a damn whether the other person wants to try and go out or not... because people in general are supposed to be somewhat open minded and not sweat the small stuff, which is why they wouldn't overreact even if your sort of bitchy, but~ that can only apply if you actually have something to be guilty or something you were actually bitchy about. Though, if your a heartless person, you easily could have numerous things you should feel guilty about without realizing.

john_dough · Accepted Answer

Kind of a psychotic behaviour. He might just be trying to overcome the awkwardness that it can create. But he might be building up to some sort of punishment for someone that clearly needs to be punished. NO ONE IN THEY'RE RIGHT MIND WOULD EVERY REJECT THE PERFECTION THAT IS ME. UNLESS OF COURSE she's A CRUEL AND EVIL WITCH THAT TAKES PLEASURE IN THE PAIN OF GREAT GUYS LIKE ME. SHE MUST BE PUNISHED SO THAT SHE CAN UNDERSTAND THAT SHE MUST CHANGE.
All guys are a little bit crazy when it comes to woman. some of them are crazy enough to inspire movies and documentaries though.

Jxy95 · Answer

Guys who guilt trip is pathetic, I went out with a guy before who always say how bad his ex treated him (like he bad talk all his ex) and make himself seem like the victim and for a while I did believe him. But when I said I don't want to hangout with him anymore, he bombarded me with texts and say I am using him and all. Pathetic

davidnoxier · Answer

You are right. The person who is being rejected often does not understand that being on the other part it's not easy. It can be though to reject someone. Mostly when the other person has a lot of emotions and will try to keep pushing, and not accepting the rejection.

SaintJonesy · Answer

What do you consider guilt tripping? I mean what exactly did he do to make you feel bad? Guilt is a normal emotion to experience. Irrational in this case, but emotions are as often as they're not.

Sometimes, we associate the other person with our own guilt, in effect making them accountable for our feelings. And sometimes people try to cling for WAY too long and end up embarrassing themselves.

binarybabe001 · Answer

Whoa! Really? Sobbing at your feet and begging? This guy is not only emotionally manipulative but obviously suffering from some kind of mental or emotional illness. Stay away from him! This guy doesn't need a girlfriend he needs a good therapist and to exercise some self restraint when interacting with people.

Browneye57 · Answer

No one can MAKE you feel anything. YOU get to decide. NEVER, give up power over your emotions to ANYONE else. EVER.

If you don't like him don't explain it, just tell him you're not interested, or not in a place to date, and cut off all communication. If he doesn't get that then just tell him to FUCK OFF.

thenewgirlll · Answer

That's fucking pathetic. I've been rejected before and it made me feel bad but I didn't gave them the fault, I always assumed it was my fault. Which is wrong because there was no one's fault. Everyone has different preferences.

Fhamator · Answer

If you let him down easily and acted in a nice way then its not your fault he is just mad at himself for not having success with girls , if he focused on getting better rather than getting mad at the girl he will a lot happier and care free to care about a rejection.

Gypsy_x · Answer

If he was being snarky or manipulative, I wouldn't feel bad, it would make me feel uncomfortable and think less of the person. If he was genuinely sad, I would feel bad that I upset him.

MLGbreezy · Answer

I mean i don't think cause he was sobbing he was guilt tripping you being over dramatic maybe but guilt tripping no. Besides girls are so disrespectful with half there rejections these days anyways that most guys are learning not to give a fuck what most females say

probablynothuman · Answer

i dated a guy that tried to guilt trip me into having sex with him. he would say things like “cmon i do so much for u” or “i just bought u a nice ass dinner” when i NEVER asked him to do anything and made it very clear i didn’t want to have sex. i’d say it’s a form of attempted rape/ sexual abuse

Logorithim · Answer

I guess it's generally guys that do this. I wouldn't like it and it wouldn't get me to change my mind (it would actually reinforce that I made the right decision).

Marinepilot · Answer

If they really hurt me, then it's open season. otherwise I ignore them and go on about my business. If I have romantic feelings and get rejected, I say, "If you're shopping for friends, you're in the wrong store. Call me if you change your mind". Turn, walk away and never, ever speak to them again. If a girl rejects a guy rudely, then she deserves whatever anger and guilt he maY THROW BACK AT HER.

MindTime · Answer

Possibly a defense mechanism, but if you are straight up about your feelings, that's better than giving in and getting into a relationship you don't want

Chanel1981 · Answer

Nobody likes rejection but that behavior shows a lack of character and self respect

Platypus007 · Answer

He doesn’t know what else to do, it takes lots of experience and wisdom, to understand how to seduce you back, and he simply hasn’t learned how, so that is all he knows right now... he will learn, but you getting turned off

creampie99 · Answer

From my experiance, insecure and not respectful of your feelings. It will only get worse

whatsgoingonwithme · Answer

I think its pretty stupid. Why place yourself so low to that point. What are the chances. Not cool.

Brokenheartedx · Answer

Ah you’ve met the classic narcissist then.. Don’t be guilty be glad

Anonymous · Answer

Oh please, no time for that. Shows how immature and desperate they are. They should respect your feelings and move on.

Landshrk0068 · Answer

I find it pretty funny, because it just shows how pathetic and weak they really are, and it just reinforces that I made the right choice.

Anonymous · Answer

We only know "your" side of the story. You however know the entire story. Here are my questions for you - Was there any game playing, teasing, or leading on that took place from your end? Would he have a reason for being upset or disappointed? Can you answer that question with a clear conscience? If not then you would be in the wrong as well.

FlutteringFeelings · Answer

It’s called manipulation and I’m not buying it so I’m onto the next person because I have no time to waste on childish games.

Anonymous · Answer

I just ignore their needy crap posts and emails, calls and so on!! The reason I ENDED the relationship!!
At some point, you need to say "FCK OFF" or I am going to get a restraining order, and then they will have a Police record!!

ZELLxoxo · Answer

I can understand why they do that. And they probably aren't even aware of their behaviour.. It makes me feel awful..

rain_maker112 · Answer

Petty, immature and pathetic. Worse than peasants. Not worth the time for sure. Unless he didn't receive a straight no

Rycer · Answer

Shallow and needy only confirming that you did right in rejecting them. Haha)

Anonymous · Answer

Shows he is a bit childish and insecure. You ARE better off without him!

Welshman2 · Answer

Guilt tripping is a tool used by emotional abusers and control freaks

yeeeeeeeet · Answer

Its pretty shitty, but it's like if you already rejected him why are you putting up with it? Just block em

LittleSally · Answer

Oh, it's a guy's move for sure... It's pathetic. That's my opinion.

ScaryCool · Answer

I think it's sad and not a healthy way to handle it.

Fitness-Fanatic · Answer

I'd assume he was emotionally immature. It wouldn't make me feel guilty.

Izumiblu · Answer

I usually get super angry and the anger drips off my tongue dripping with sarcasm and insults.

Paris13 · Answer

Don' let Anyone, hun, Make you Feel INDEBTED to themxxoo

Anonymous · Answer

See I prefer when a girl rejects me and I have had it happen a lot for her to break all contact and connection. A year ago I told a girl I liked her she rejected me but wouldn’t leave me alone even when I tried to avoid her and get over the feelings. She told me it not gonna leave you alone until you talk to me. I gave in and she reported me for harassment to our manager

A-man-22 · Answer

Guilt tripping should be a crime and a serious one at that. No one likes being guilt tripped and it's almost impossible to argue back even if you are correct.

BlondieGirl_ · Answer

Its wrong. Especially if they're trying to get sex out of you.

Splintercell · Answer

They should be mature enough to wish you a good day and move on.

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

its kinda them trying to punish you for not accepting them.

Zion666 · Answer

Women can reject men and it's alright, but men can't reject women 'cause you must be gay and it's rude.

Myrdices · Answer

I usually tell em any chance you had before just got shot in the foot when you started acting like a pathetic child

Chromify · Answer

Given the context he either really likes you and he has a nice heart (albeit clingy) and wants a chance with you. Or he really wants an all access backstage pass to that ass.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

I think you asked this question merely to get people to agree.

Pizza_lover159 · Answer

I won't care. They can cry. They can bleed. My heart belong to my boyfriend and not to those guys who saw how hot am I and want just to bang me.

ThreeSheetsToTheWind · Answer

They are just proving that you were right to reject them. Who wants to be in a relationship with someone who is manipulative like that?

TripleAce · Answer

Great tactic lol it does work sometimes 😂 A solid guilt trip is quite powerful 😛

Lieseeker · Answer

They are manipulators. Look at your manips, own all the manips you play games with, let them go and thank all those who broyght it to light. Your guilttrippers. And say good-bye.

johnmichaei · Answer

And my upbringing they always look just as good going as they did coming

HornetsFanAllDay · Answer

why even bother. guilt trip is bad move in my opinion.

t3hhottdawg · Answer

I just get angry if people try to guilt me into something

rahul_24 · Answer

Happened to me, my ex tried too but I just stopped talking, was getting too much hurt

JesseTheMan · Answer

Great tactic for a sly man. I dunno, morals are antiquted?

BbahbB · Answer

Sounds like it's a good thing you rejected them. Where I'm from, guilt-tripping someone for being honest is considered rude!

ashtan · Answer

Honestly I've never rejected anyone so nobody has ever tried guilt tripping me, also I've been singke my entire life

MaelaK · Answer

It's usually too obvious and I find it ridiculous.

Slim57 · Answer

It's petty. You can't make someone want you. Take your shot and move on

Sophiaab · Answer

Putting yourself first doesn’t make you a bad person.

Anonymous · Answer

i think anyone who guilt trips anyone about anything. iS STUPID

Natalie11299 · Answer

I stay away from those kinds of people

Leafpool2 · Answer

Lol too bad bitch I don't owe you shit.

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