Have you ever had to reject someone for being too innocent?

[NotTacocaT6969]

I find myself looking back years ago to a time when a guy I thought was cute asked me out to lunch.

At lunch I learned he was just too…innocent.

He was the same age as me but was still a virgin, had never been drunk and volunteered at the animal shelter for fun.

As much as I wanted to give him a chance, my brain just kept saying “you’re going to traumatize him.”

Is that a normal reaction?

[Googlemyahoo]

Yup. Dated girl who was a virgin in my 20s Second date with her she bought me rollerblades I was surprised. She seemed juvenile and immature but was in her 20s.

When making out I would try to touch her breast & she’d giggle and squirm. I’d ask if she didn’t want me to do that she said its fine. She’d rub my dick through my clothes but nothing else if I tried touching her vag she’d squirm around saying it tickled.

Started getting frustrated because she genuinely seemed interested but everytime I tried something she did the squirming giggling bullshit.

So at this party she took me alone to a room I figure GO TIME. Nope, squirmy giggles just wants to cuddle.

So she actually fell asleep cuddling & was drunk. I went back downstairs picked up another girl and boned her in the basement bathroom of the house during the party.

[Matthew2024]

I don't know, I'm a virgin and I dont smoke or drink or party. I'm a JR firefighter, I work on classic cars (PFP) I go to the gym 6 days a week, I go to a trade school for carpentry, but like I'd still like to loose my virginity and have a girlfriend, but every time I talk to a girl she's like "ew, your a senior, and you haven't had your first kiss?" Like no shit I go to an all guy school. wtf does it matter anyway like I don't like you for your body i like you for you, why does my virginity matter. if it matters so much then take it lmao, people today are weird.

[NotTacocaT6969]

Lol you’re only 16.

There things are normal when you’re that young.

The guy in my question was the same age as me…almost 30.

Don’t rush your life experiences, but don’t miss out on them either.

[NotTacocaT6969]

These*

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I don't know that I'd ever go "I'mma traumatize him". But I have felt a disconnect and ended things from there.

I've been through a lot, and do a lot on a regular basis. I'm not one to be stagnant.

People who haven't had a partner before, haven't had sex, haven't experienced living as an independent person, haven't travelled, etc - all these things make it hard to connect or find something that might make my life more interesting.

I'll be able to make their life interesting, but I'm not an entertainer or a guide. I'm looking for an equal partner.

So I'd move on from an innocent or inexperienced person quickly. They're not going to bring me what I need in a relationship, and that's not going to be a good relationship.

I don't have time to wait for someone to "catch up".

[LazerBean]

No, self controlled and stable is husband material.

[NotTacocaT6969]

I would agree, except no…a man with less life experience than the average teenager is not husband material.

A husband is not someone you’re supposed to need to teach how to do adult things or how to handle adult situations…that’s just babysitting with extra steps.

[LazerBean]

Sex experience is not life experience though. It's just sex experience. Being an innocent and being a incapable are two completely different things.

[NotTacocaT6969]

Where did I say the word “sex”?

[LazerBean]

That's just what seemed implied to me. On your original post, him being a virgin in his late 20's is also the only really abnormal thing you said about him. If it has nothing to do with sex, say so and elaborate on actual examples of what you meant.

[NotTacocaT6969]

I gave examples such as him having never done things like try alcohol.

He was the same age as me with the life experience of my 10 year old little brother.

[LazerBean]

No, you said he had never been drunk. That's two different things. Even then, drunk or drinking alcohol in no way makes someone more adult. If anything being drunk is a sign of poor judgement. Also you still didn't clarify if it had nothing to do with sex or not. Literally just name like any 3 things that he doesn't do that is required to be a successful and productive adult.

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, but then I'm still a virgin, I've never been drunk (and never will be) and I've volunteered at animal shelters for fun, even with dangerous animals.

I also watch porn and play video games/watch movies with violence, sex, monsters, bugs, and gore in them (typically not all in the same movie). Some of the movies and games are also in the suspenseful horror genre.

And I've never been traumatized by anything, be it fictional or real.

[NotTacocaT6969]

Even you have more experience than him.

I’m pretty sure he would have fainted from the blood in the original mortal kombat..

[TheSpaceGnome]

I am however very offended that you aren't the 6,969th taco cat. How dare you.

[NotTacocaT6969]

I am…but that account got banned. 🤣

[TheSpaceGnome]

Mortal kombat is amazing though.

[TheSpaceGnome]

lol taco cat reborn.

[Miladin]

"I'm pretty sure he would have fainted from the blood in the original mortal kombat"

hahahaha, that was a good one :D

[20yearsolder]

That is a normal reaction for me. Honestly it sounds pretty boring. I guess if it works for him that's what matters but I can't imagine him finding someone like-minded. Who asked who on the date?

[Miladin]

Well someone we men tend to act like we're nice and harmless so that we don't scare women or our friends, cuz if we're more direct and open we might scare/insult them. I'm often like that, cuz people are so fragile, emotional and easily offendable these days...

[Zbrody1997]

I have because due to my past experiences I’ve always been too much to handle for most and it’s led to them looking terrified so it leaves me in quite a sexually frustrated situation when it comes to finding partners

[FilmGuy93]

I've rejected women for being too innocent, yes.

[Anonymous]

I haven't rejected someone for those reasons but I got rejected for being innocent. I never had a girlfriend before, no drugs or smoke drinks alcohol but non-addicted. I used to live all by myself and do every work on my own, cleaning cooking, and kinda nerdy. Generally women like the idea of it but not the guys themselves.

[Sixgunsound]

How are you going to traumatize him😆 This ought to be good!

[NotTacocaT6969]

Pretty sure he would’ve fainted if I lit a cigarette in front of him.

[Sixgunsound]

Come on, you can do better than that!😆

[Sixgunsound]

So based on that would you say that women in general want an experienced man where men in general want an innocent woman?

[NotTacocaT6969]

He was literally a 10 year old who never grew up.

I couldn’t even swear around him…

[NotTacocaT6969]

I don’t think men would want to date a woman who would cry and run away at the mention of sex…or anything that isn’t rated pg…

[Sixgunsound]

So I don’t mean just stalled developmentally, by innocent I mean more knows all the swearwords but doesn’t use them, knows the basic ideas about sexuality but doesn’t have a body count, doesn’t have baggage from being burned in the past, and is compatible whether the guy is religious or not. That whole developmental stalling thing doesn’t really strike me as something is going to be attractive to anyone, because most human beings just aren’t attracted to that age range.

[Sixgunsound]

It doesn’t strike me as very likely that anyone who participates in modern society would ever be truly innocent by either of our definitions.

[Sixgunsound]

Also from what it sounds like, this guy could use a little trauma from you🤣

[Berethor]

I prefer her to be innocent rather than a ho. A man is like a key, a woman is like a lock.

[Guy13]

No. Never. Fragile little Flowers 🌺 are treasures.

[maximumpower]

Yep.
No interests in being anyone's "first."

[shanshu]

Looks like you missed your perfect man to get with there.

Even if you did "traumatize" him with your sex acts or drunken self I'm sure he would of been fine with it

[Jamie05rhs]

Kind of. A couple of times I have rejected a girl for being too young. I guess that's kinda the same thing.

[Juxtapose]

No, if anything my lovers say I'm the innocent one.

[Phoenix98]

Nope can’t say I have.

[Anonymous]

it means you're fucked up

[Juxtapose]

YES!

[NotTacocaT6969]

Others would argue that the one who is almost 30 and has the life experience of a 10 year old is the one who’s messed up.

[Juxtapose]

There's nothing immature about not being promiscuous, not drinking and being empathetic towards animals.

[NotTacocaT6969]

No, but it is very immature to have no life experiences and to need a woman to teach you how to be a boyfriend when you’re almost 30 years old.

[Juxtapose]

He has plenty of Life experiences, he's wise enough to volunteer and get fulfillment that way. When was the last time you volunteered?

And you dare say he doesn't have life experience, just because he isn't sleeping around like some manwhore and drinking until he drops.

[Juxtapose]

And nobody needs to be taught how to date, it's ridiculously easy.

[NotTacocaT6969]

That’s what you think.

This one almost shat his pants and started shaking from a hug.

No.

[Juxtapose]

Oh heaven's forbid the guy gets shy, which you women do all the time 🤣

[Juxtapose]

Do you know how much of an asshole I would be made out to be if I was saying the shit you are saying about that guy to a woman in the same scenario?

[Juxtapose]

I fucking hate double standards.

[NotTacocaT6969]

It’s not a double standard.

I would agree with you for not wanting to feel like a pedophile for dating a woman the same age as you who only has the life experience of a child.

That is overwhelming to them and unfair to you who would be left feeling like an asshole if you traumatized a woman who was not ready for your lifestyle.

[Juxtapose]

What lifestyle would you have to have the traumatize someone who's nice enough to volunteer? Are you going to clubs weekly and getting your back blown out or something? Are you snorting coke?

[Juxtapose]

*to traumatized

[Juxtapose]

*traumatize

Fucking autocorrect man.

[NotTacocaT6969]

You’re severely underestimating what I meant.

Let’s swap out the word “innocent” and use the word “sheltered” instead.

Does that make more sense?

The man acted like he had been raised in a tiny closet and had never even seen another human before.

EVERYTHING was traumatizing to him.

Taking him o watch a smooth jazz concert probably would’ve sent him to the hospital from a panic attack.

[Juxtapose]

It sounds like the guy has a mental illness or a developmental disorder such as autism.

[Opinion Owner]

There's a vast difference between being innocent vs sheltered vs stuck up sheltered. a person can be innocent with massive life experience and a person can be sheltered with no life experience and a person can be sheltered and stuck up thinking they're better then everybody else because they don't get drunk or high while never experiencing either of those things or experiencing life like traveling or adventures or whatever. i used to know somebody a very long time ago who was a sheltered stuck up prick and it pissed me off with his high and mighty judgmental attitude.
Also a person can have life experience and still volunteer at an animal shelter and a person can drink alcohol but not get drunk

[Agape93]

Nope never

[MrTaboo]

Never