How would you define a Napoleon Complex/Little Man Syndrome?

[WhistleForTheChoir]

I'm a short guy, only 5'4", and I was curious about this term, "Napoleon Complex"? How do you define it?

I didn't think I fit the trope. My whole life people have seen me as a pretty agreeable, reserved person. I've had a lot of friends, always get along with almost all other men and most women. I have never dated, but that's just because no one is attracted to me, nothing to be done about it. I'm as okay with it as I'm going to be, and I've made the best of my life. However, I've heard the term a lot, and even have had it directed at me at least four times that I can think of, twice by different strangers to my face, twice by a work gossip-circle behind my back. All four instances stuck with me. I'm not the type of person who can't admit a mistake, but the things these people were mad about were not mistakes on my part.

It seems to me to be a pretty vague term used to kind of discredit anything a short man says or does, but I was wondering if there was an actual theory behind it?

[RolandCuthbert]

I dunno dude. I have known some short guys who were really cool. I have known some who had the complex in varying degrees. One guy blindsided me with his complex because one day I blew him off for lunch. He actually said I refused to hang out with him because he was short.

I didn't even know what to say to that.

And here you are, actually identifying with the term short man. . . as though that term is significant for other people.

Do you really think people look at you and see. . ."short man"?

Really?

Are you kidding me?

[WhistleForTheChoir]

I have had a lot of people refer to me as "Little (my name)" (say my name is John, they call me "Little Johnny"). I have had women explicitly tell me, "You're too short," over and over and over again. I have had strangers call me things like "Mighty Mouse" and "Midget-ass". My own mother told me I was too short to ever fall in love. Women have told me things like, "Let one of the big boys carry that for you," or "You'd be decent-looking if you weren't short." Every time I try to work hard or do extra, it's not attributed to anything other than me trying to compensate for my height; it couldn't possibly be that I'm just a hard worker. I don't get mad at any of these people for any of this, it's all fine, whatever, but yeah, I do think other people look at me and see that. Because other people tell me they see that.

I didn't say what you're saying I said in the original post, but since you're being kind of a condescending, I feel like telling you you're wrong.

[RolandCuthbert]

Dude, we called still call at guy from the old neighborhood. ."shorty". He is 6'3". He got the name when he was a kid and it just stuck.

I can see some women blowing you off because you are "short". But to pretend that you can't find a gorgeous woman who is 4'11" who thinks you are a giant is not really playing the game with a full deck.

I don't really care if you think I am "condescending". I have known guys much smaller than 5'4". Like the guy I described. He eventually dealt with his issues by becoming a body builder. Glad to see that today he is married with two kids. He ended up being much more successful than me. But he went to MIT. I kind of figured with that kind of brain he wasn't going to have much trouble.

[iimJay]

I understand it as short men feel like the only reason they don't get dates or people seem to find them unattractive is because of their height. They also any out more, get louder for the sake of attention, because they feel inadequate in their stature.

[Nachowedgie]

I mean they have every reason to feel inadequate in their stature considering how they're treated by society and women especially

[iimJay]

That's an incel way of looking at things. The problem isn't society, it's their way of looking at it and reacting to it. People pick up and pay more attention to your insecurities rather than the physical traits themselves

[Nachowedgie]

I mean from what I've observed personally women aren't interested in men under 6 foot, they just date one temporarily until they can "upgrade" to a taller guy. It's happened to me with every relationship (mind you I was also cheated on in every relationship too, all with taller guys) I mean I've even had girls say straight to my face "I'd date you if you were taller, like 6 foot" and "I only date real men, not sub six foot boys" so it's not "a way of looking at things" it's reality for a lot of men

[Marilynjuana]

I know many many guys that are a bit on the shorter side and have great girlfriends. Why? Because they have great personalities and a great vibe. They’re not bitter nor toxic, which drives anyone away.

[Marilynjuana]

If you want to land a chick who is shallow enough to whine about your height then that’s your problem. There are shallow, bitchy women AND men. Plenty of good ones, too.

[Nachowedgie]

All the guys I know that have girlfriends are all over 6 foot.

I'd rather not "land a chick" like that but there's literally no "good ones" around. They're all shallow here.

[Marilynjuana]

All women are shallow huh. Maybe you just surround yourself with the trashy ones? Stop being a little cupcake, take some responsibility. Yes, there are plenty of good women out there. Perhaps your attitude drives them away.

[iimJay]

Like I said, it's the incel mindset. Just because women say they won't date you because they want someone 6ft doesn't mean you need to apply that to all women. It just means that those women prefer it and are perhaps too shallow and superficial to look past appearances. If you're happy with yourself you'll find that a lot more people like you.

[Nachowedgie]

Nerves said "All women are shallow" Don't try to twist what I say. I said all the women here are shallow, as in all the women here where I am that I've come into contact with. Smh. I'm not interested in trashy women so I stay far away from them.

"Stop being a little cupcake"

And you wonder why men are insecure when you try and demean them like that for talking about a problem they're having. Pretty disgraceful

"Yes, there are plenty of good women out there"

I mean by all means show me where these "good women" are located cuz I'm yet to meet one.

"Perhaps your attitude drives them away"

There you go with the demeaning again, smh. Nothing wrong with my attitude. I've merely made observations over time and have seen these patterns repeat without fail.

[Nachowedgie]

You do realise "incel" is short for involuntary celibate? Which has nothing to do with the conversation.

"Just because women say they won't date you because they want someone 6ft doesn't mean you need to apply that to all women"

Like I said before, I'm not applying it to all women. I've just made observations and have concluded the evidential pattern

"If you're happy with yourself you'll find that a lot more people like you"

I can be happy with myself all I want but it ain't gonna make me suddenly grow 7 inches

[Marilynjuana]

I’m telling you to take some responsibility and make a change. If that’s offensive to you then no wonder you’re in the the situation you’re in now. Jesus. The world is fucking mean and cruel. Yes, I am telling you to stop being a little cupcake and MAKE YOUR LIFE HAPPIER.

[Marilynjuana]

If you wanna play the victim then go ahead. I’d much rather grab life by its balls and be happy.

[Nachowedgie]

"I’m telling you to take some responsibility and make a change"

I literally can't change my height

"If that’s offensive to you then no wonder you’re in the the situation you’re in now"

Uh what? Where'd you get that from?

"Yes, I am telling you to stop being a little cupcake and MAKE YOUR LIFE HAPPIER"

I mean tell me the secret to growing 7 inches taller and then it'll be happier

[Nachowedgie]

"If you wanna play the victim then go ahead"

Uh do I seriously need to repeat myself again?

"I've made observations and have concluded the evidential pattern"

[iimJay]

In the words of Buzz Lightyear: "You are a sad, strange little man. And you have my pity, farewell."

I'ma just leave him to it, Marilyn :p

[Marilynjuana]

I was crazy about a guy who was shorter than me, I’m 1.70m. Why? He was a great guy, charming and fun. Not a whiny victim. YOU are the reason why you’re lonely. Take. Some. Responsibility. Time to put on those big boy pants.

[Marilynjuana]

@iimJay I’m done too, guys like him are too deluded and entitled to listen to anything rational. If he wants to be the victim then my god, hope he enjoys it. Toodles!

[Nachowedgie]

@iimJay you've proven my original point

"I mean they have every reason to feel inadequate in their stature considering how they're treated by society and women especially"

You've continued to dismiss and mock me, not actually caring

@Marilynjuana Same goes for you really.

I mean I've been in 3 relationships before and all of them ended with with her cheating on me with a taller guy and then leaving me for him. So when 3 people cheat on you and leave you due to a physical trait you have no control over then maybe you'll understand.

So no I'm not the reason I'm not in a relationship. Being cheated on and being left for a taller guy is why I'm not in a relationship xD I'm not going to "Take responsibility" for other people being garbage human beings, that's not my job.

Continuing to demean me I see *Shrugs* I'm not surprised

[Marilynjuana]

The short guy rejected me, for your knowledge. If “demeaning” translates to “being realistic” then I shall keep doing that. Ta-daah!

[Nachowedgie]

Like I've said before I've merely made observations and have concluded the evidential pattern. I really don't see why you can't comprehend that sentence. All you've done is mock me xD

[Nachowedgie]

No demeaning doesn't translate to being realistic. Demeaning is demeaning. No other variation exists.

[Marilynjuana]

I don’t mock. I tell you to take responsibility. Because you don’t. What don’t you understand?

[WhistleForTheChoir]

@Nachowedgie You do seem to have some sort of "poor me" thing going on right now, and you keep trying to change your argument, you're making me cringe.

To me, the problem isn't "dating". I don't care about dating. You're right, most women won't give you a chance (I'm assuming from what you said you're about 5'5"). But that's not up to you, so it's kind of something you just have to deal with. You can't force anyone to be attracted to you. To be honest, hearing a woman say, "You're too short," isn't even that brutal of a rejection.

However, I do feel that men get tagged with the "Little Man Syndrome" just for doing things that all other men are expected to do regularly. For example, the complaint my co-workers who were talking about me had was that I worked hard and always made myself visible at work, which isn't something I did because I was short, but because I wanted a promotion, but my desire to "prove my worth" was attributed to my height, not a desire for advancement professionally.

Or whenever heavy things need to be moved, I'm a very strong, helpful, hard-working guy. My friends know this about me, so I often end up helping them move furniture, and I've had to do the same thing at certain jobs I've had.

However, every time I do, I always have some woman who doesn't know me following me around like she's my mother insisting I'm going to hurt myself. I even had a woman tell me, a 25 year old man at the time, "Let one of the big boys carry that for you."

When I can lift more than a larger man at work, he gets insecure and upset with me, and keeps rolling his eyes at me. It's like I'm just doing my job, I'm not doing it to get at you. Which would imply that a short man being stronger than them makes THEM feel insecure, but I still get the "Little Man" label. A lot of, "Whoa, there buddy! Little tough guy here."

[Nachowedgie]

@Marilynjuana You do mock, you've been doing it the whole time. And how am I supposed to "Take responsibility" for something totally out of my control?

@WhistleForTheChoir From your answer I can see you haven't even read what I wrote *Smh*

[iimJay]

This shit's hilarious. Someone reply again.

[Nachowedgie]

Continuing to prove my original point ^

[Marilynjuana]

If changing your attitude and growing the f up is out of your power then you really are a lost cause, sweetheart.

[Nachowedgie]

I'm far more mature than most people my age, even older adults in some instances. I'm also not the one who's spent this whole conversation mocking someone so maybe look at yourself first about the growing up aspect. I've no clue where you're getting this "attitude" thing from. I've literally just said that I've noticed a pattern through years of observation that short men experience these things and you're basically saying "your height isn't the problem" when I've literally had it said to my face that it is. So you're the one who's lost here I'm afraid

[Nachowedgie]

Mocking and belittling I should say

[Marilynjuana]

Your attitude is obnoxious. That’s why you can’t land a girl. Like always, no way of getting through to people like you. If you want to be the victim so bad, enjoy sulking at the side of the road while others speed right past you. Being realistic is not “mocking”. Stop spinning a false narrative, if you want change in your life at all. I’m out, you’re giving me a headache.

[Nachowedgie]

I don't have an attitude. I just don't like assholes who belittle people. I've landed girls before as I've already mentioned. Well all you've done is mock and belittle me and basically say "you're height isn't the problem" even though it literally is. So I really don't know what you're expecting to "get through to me" with if this is all you're doing. I'd rather not be in the position I'm in but again I can't magically grow 7 inches taller so it won't change. Mocking someone isn't "being realistic"

"Stop spinning a false narrative"

I'm not, I've literally said this 5 times now. I have personally observed this happen to me and other men throughout my life, so it is a thing that happens in reality, the thing we live in. So realistically you're just calling me a liar which to that I say you're a piece of shit, but we already knew that from how you've behaved this whole time :3

I can't change my height, please suggest something more realistic/useful. You sound like a broken record.

[Marilynjuana]

🚗💨

[iimJay]

He's landed girls before. We'd better listen to him

[Marilynjuana]

Yes, the girls just took a little while to realise his height was the issue and left him. Not because of how obnoxious he is, no no. I wonder how so many other guys on the shorter side have partners then? Ahh what do I know!!

[iimJay]

But literally, you're belittling him. He's observed personally that all the women here are shallow. You do realize that he literally can't change his height. Does he need to repeat himself again?

[iimJay]

He doesn't even have an attitude

[Marilynjuana]

I can’t give him the pity that he so desperately wants because I’d much rather help and give reasonable advice😭

[iimJay]

I mean he has every reason to feel inadequate in his stature considering how he's treated by society and women especially

[Marilynjuana]

Yush, he’s the only primadonna who’s had it rough. The rest of us are so privileged, life is easy. His level of entitlement also makes it so he shouldn’t change or get realistic whatsoever. (THIS is mocking)

[iimJay]

Omg you're continuing to prove his original point

[iimJay]

I do think he needs to repeat himself again though

[Marilynjuana]

Oh yes, I can’t wait for the incoming essay. He better put me in my place!

[iimJay]

He's gonna destroy you with facts and logic pretty soon

[iimJay]

He said we could demean him though and he doesn't care

[Marilynjuana]

Perhaps demeaning is okay, logic really bothers him though!

[iimJay]

There you go with the demeaning again, smh. You're gonna make him *Shrug*.

He has made observations and concluded the evidential pattern.

[BabyBirdy]

It definitely exists but it doesn’t apply to all short men. I’m 5’4” on a good day been around men same height as me or shorter that were confident.
I would describe “Napoleon Complex” as short guys that try way too hard. It’s like they’re desperately trying to prove that their manhood. I lowkey get secondhand embarrassment watching people overcompensate like that. It’s almost painful to witness

[MrSlim]

I define little man syndrome as a short dude that's just a dick that runs their mouth a lot and usually over aggressive pretending to be a tough guy. I've only ever run into a few. Think like an annoying little dog that growls at you and nips at your ankles, the kind you just want to punt.

[Nachowedgie]

I'd agree with this definition ^

[MeatPuppet]

It's a slur to insult short men who are a tad too extroverted and confident to normies and tall people's liking. It's something they say to remind manlets to "know their place", i. e. to be quiet, self-effacing and submissive.

[Nachowedgie]

Indeed ^

[OddBeMe]

Napoleon was 5’4” ironically. Average height for his time. But it is a phenomenon that smaller dudes try to make up by being more aggressive.

[Nachowedgie]

*Smh* Doesn't even read what I wrote

[Nachowedgie]

No clue why this is here