I think women need to decide if they want to be treated like grown adults and equals or if they want men to treat them like babies and kiss their asses. They can't have it both ways. I don't need a list to tell me how to treat other people. This has "feminist Karen" written all over it. Reminds me of that "teach men not to rape women" thing from a few years ago; 2015, if I recall correctly.
And as other men have said, it's asking men to go out of their way to treat women like fucking royalty, despite so many women claiming they want "equality" in society, but then support special treatment crap like this.
Point 1. Are women grown adults or children who need our help and "protection" at all times? Make up your mind. Maybe she's arguing with her husband and it's none of my business.
Point 2. Maybe she's a bitch and a cunt who deserves the negative words being thrown at her.
Point 3. So now we gotta adjust our walking speed for you, too? I try not to freak anyone out at night, but how about, maybe YOU shouldn't be out at night alone if you're that fucking timid to begin with. Common sense and shit; it's not just for Y chromosomes.
Point 4. Many men already do this as common sense, but its nice to see that women have no agency for their own eyes, ears, and attention spans.
Point 5. Half of this is already common sense, but if you're asking men to automatically "listen and believe," you can piss off with that nonsense. Most people tend to give the benefit of the doubt and will believe them at face value anyway, but not if they start to lack credibility.
Point 6. Again, how about you grow the fuck up and be responsible for your own attention span and stop trying to tell men how they need to behave because you're too idiotic to pay attention when walking alone at 3am wearing diamond jewelry in the middle of Detroit. God damn, this chick sounds like a suburban Karen.
I mean, most of this is pretty standard common sense, especially after dark in urban areas (on busy high streets not so much, since people's personal space essentially "shrinks" the more densely populated the immediate surroundings are). The perception of personal space increases in low-density pedestrian areas and at nighttime. Even other guys I walk past at night on quiet side streets, I tend to give them a wider birth than I would during the day, and try to "announce" my presence if I'm about to overtake them. The first point on this list is really a situational decision that the individual should make, as a man involving himself in an act on harassment could lead to him being assaulted. So he should decide for himself whether or not to assume that risk of harm to himself, since he doesn't owe it to some random woman to potentially lay down his life for the sake of her feeling "safe" in public. But of course some men AND women may choose to accept the risks and insert themselves into a harassment scenario to try and de-escalate, or give the victim an "out". But that's their choice, they're under no obligation to involve themselves. You gotta appreciate the irony that these feminists cry about men "oppressing" them, but when push comes to shove, they expect men to jump in and protect them from other men. They can't have it both ways, you can be an "oppressed victim" or a "strong independent badass", but you can't be both.
Also I'd add that crossing the street isn't always necessary or even viable, and if she feels uncomfortable then she can always cross the road herself. There's plenty of times I've crossed over the street just to pre-emptively see if someone walking behind me crosses over too, because then I know to be on guard. End of the day, the only person who's gonna protect you is YOU, nobody will ever care more about your personal safety than you will. Taking personal responsibility for your situational awareness, which streets you navigate at night, etc is the first and most important step in personal protection. Always watch your six, always have a Plan A, B, and C to get out of dodge before a situation has a chance to escalate, always know your way home, have # of a reliable local taxi service, etc. Of course you could do all of that and still get assaulted, but if you're just walking alone at night with your blinders up + unaware of surroundings, then passing the buck of your personal protection to the supposed good intentions of passersby is a recipe for disaster.
oh and since we're on the subject, maybe don't go out wearing high heels if you know you're gonna be walking alone after a night out. If you can't break into a full sprint at any given moment, then you have to assume you're an "easier catch" for would-be predators. You can't even properly FIGHT in high heels, let alone FLEE, because they throw off your balance and restrict your ability to drive weight through your lower body, which in turn makes it nearly impossible to throw a half-decent punch. There's a reason most martial arts classes are done barefoot, you need to be able to drive force through your feet, legs, and hips in a coordinated way. Just something to think about.
Yes that’s a good list. Being someone that’s even molested and have been in home invasions and having a guy grabs while out at night, I think if a guy sees a woman at night while walking to keep your distance or walk to the other side of the road, say something friendly and just give off a kind vibe. I once finished work at 1am and walked home and had some guy walking really close to me. I got scared (I’ve walked home before and had a guy grab me) and this guy I think could sense I was a bit scared so he started to walk to the other side of the street and said, “have a good night and stay safe ma’am ” and had a kind smile, I could tell he meant it.
People who say women need to adjust to the world have some truth but people need to also adjust to what’s going on, a massive problem that many women are facing. I’ve had therapy for when I was molested, had home invasions and being assault by men at night but that therapy doesn’t take that memory and the fear away, it only to help us learn how to cope with it and with how things like that make us feel. Even with that sometimes I can’t control my fear and knowing the kind of world we live in where anyone could do anything, it’s hard to just ignore a man walking closely to you at night. I have friends that are like 5’0 and they’re tiny, no way in hell will they be able to guy a guy that’s over 5’8 off of them.
It’s not hard for a man to alter something so small especially when knowing it can effect someone so much. We need to be more considerate.
It's meh. I suspect most men won't give this any thought. This is the age of independence and empowerment as most western women seem to demand and desire, I guess. 🤷♀️
"Women need men like fish need bicycle." That's the mantra. So I think it's women's responsibility to take care of and protect themselves.
Of course, I personally would like to be treated differently than a man. But then the bicycle thingy isn't my mantra. I acknowledge I need men, and there are enough men in my family to protect me. I don't need to demand anything from "all men".
Yeah, second to last one, sounds good, the rest of that isn't worth wiping my ass with. Also how can I wear a mask to prevent the spread of Covid and make my face visible at the same time. Oh what a kidder.
So, basically, if you see a woman, indulge her paranoia and promote a victim complex? No, I'm not going to be doing that. Nor am I going to run the risks of jaywalking, especially at night, just to keep someone from becoming uneasy. You know how when people cross the road to avoid having to walk near a black guy, and everyone says "that's racist"? Well, here's a little tip: if you take what you've written, and swap out "men" and "women" for "Jews" and "Aryans", and it sounds like something out of Mein Kampf, you've got a problem with bigotry. I do agree it's important to not dismiss sexual assault as unimportant, but that has precious little to do with gender.
If women are feeling unsafe, I'd suggest having them take some self-defense classes, and learn how (and WHEN) to protect themselves. Or teach them statistical analysis; that guy walking near you at night is a helluva lot more likely to be attacked than you are, lady. Telling a class of people that the world is out to get them, filling their heads with FUD, and then insisting that everyone else treat them like fragile subhumans, it's not going to make the fear go away.
I think these would all be nice & considerate things to do. Granted, some are more over the top than others. Because not everybody wants to get into other people's business. That's how you get killed. And many could apply to both genders. If not all of them.
But also, 🤔 if women can't see the threat, what makes them so sure the "threat" can even see if they're a fucking woman! Some of y'all be looking like dudes 💅 ngl
So, I think this should be a safe list for humans in general. Because we're all susceptible to danger.
I digress. But as for the night stuff, I think they shouldn't be out walking if they feel they're that vulnerable. But yk if they have to, then it should be preferred to carry weapons and stay vigilant. Basically, don't expect men to do this. Because the ones that will actually do harm could likely do it when you're least expecting it. So it may not be obvious.
So this method could possibly give a false sense of safety. Letting your guard slightly down. Which is arguably what we don't need when we're in a dangerous spot.
- I'm usually on the side of women but... --- Guys don't dislike this list. They dislike how it is written. ---- - As a man, I don't feel safe walking at night. - When I'm scared I cross the street for myself. Why can't you? - I mean if one race of people said that to another it would sound fishy. - I already feel like I have to be extra polite and do everything right to make white people feel safe as it is. It is tiresome. It's like veganism. I'm vegan but I don't aspect anyone to give a damn about animals when we don't even give a damn about other people because of something silly as skin color. - If anyone is getting talked about stick up for them Not just women. There is no need to have this on the list because it applies more to everyone and probably equally. - Or buy a weapon or get someone to drive you. - It's starting to get to the point where I think women just wanna be above men not equal. - I mean I just lost a friend that is a girl because I'm too mysterious... Like I'm sick of this crap. I can't even be myself. It isn't my issue. It is an inner issue inside women and some men. I'm a quiet guy. Get over it. Lol seriously though if you're a girl and reading this, this list is not okay as written, and if you don't see that... That is an issue. Guys don't dislike this list. They dislike how it is written.
Well, some of these stuff are really rational. Other - i wouldn't say they are not rational, but i see them as relative. And why do i see them that way?
Because, every country is different. Maybe there is a big threat for security of women in America. I don't know, i'm not American. Maybe there really is a big need for that behaviour there.
My country? Well, things are definetly not perfect. But we are around 20th country worldwide when it comes to security of women - in my country, women are pretty safe in public.
They are more in danger in relationship than in public. But we have this weird problem - if you see a couple having a violent argument, and you approach them to help her, you will be attacked by her first in many cases. It's a very well known thing. But if she is disturbed by stranger, than it is totally fine to do something. And we can do much better in this area than we are doing now, definetly.
Victim blaming, i agree. I see it more as supporting a human who goes through it, not just women.
Distance, yes, but catching a bigger pace or trying to make her see my face in dark - i think here this is not necessity. It can only lead up to unnecessery paranoia, at least from where i'm coming from. I'm not saying that it's a bad suggestion from worldwide perspective, but some of these demands depend on culture of a certain country.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
I'm a guy. But I'm a little guy. I live in a decent area, but haven't always.
I'm at a bar, I get a new drink if I have to head to the bathroom, or I finish it completely then head to the bathroom. Non alcoholic if I'm driving, and I watch my limits.
When I leave some place at night, I walk fast. I look around. I carry my keys out so they could do some damage. I have a knife on me, just in case. If I'm carrying a backpack, it's locked up and secure, and around me in such a way as to make it harder to rob me. I carry a fake wallet accessible with five dollars and a bunch of fake credit cards. I check my car. I park near lights, if possible. My phone is out, and I'm either talking to a friend, or I look like I'm ready to call someone. I'm considering pepper spray just in case. I check around my car when I park AND when I leave. Someone close probably knows my approximate time of arrival and leaving. I rarely head out after 10:00pm anyway.
Girls in my family have been attacked... My mom's been mugged, but so has my dad (little guy) (luckily very minor and they didn't get anything of any real worth). I had several generations of guys in my lineage randomly attacked several times (big "super manly" men, too - people you'd never think anyone would try to mess with).
I don't go alone with women I don't know (for my protection or peace of mind as much as hers), I try to make sure I can walk a friend to her car, but I usually end up walking with my male friends too, though that's because we usually park near each other.
I think some things in general just are good ideas for ANYONE. If I'm getting out of a car, and someone is getting out the same time, I'll hang back. I won't get too close to a stranger when walking, just because it's weird (man - woman- doesn't matter to me). But some of these are a bit odd, IMHO.
These are... how do I put this nicely... well-intentioned but stupid nonetheless.
For instance (from top to bottom) 1) or he can mind his own business and leave the poor woman alone 2) and I'm sure these women stand up for men when their friends speak about men in derogatory ways. Based on this site though, I'm pretty sure that doesn't happen and they just agree with their friends and pile on 3) just because someone crosses the road doesn't mean they aren't actively following you. It just lulls that person into a sense of complacency 4) so, you'd be less freaked out if a guy was walking quickly towards you from behind because he's not walking at the same pace? That's some fucked up logic 5) so the person is advocating that a guy run really quickly towards a woman and make lots of noise? And that's NOT supposed to freak her out?
These just seem like things guys *have* to do because, as guys, we're *all* potential rapists, which is pretty sexist if you ask me. Instead, perhaps women should just be aware of their surroundings and if they're so afraid then either don't go out at night or carry some sort of protection. This is the type of stuff that makes guys so hesitant to even approach a woman for any reason because you have no idea if your mere presence within 10 feet of her is secretly scaring the shit out of her.
As for listening to women sharing abuse experiences, being there for them and encouraging them to come forward and report the bastards - I'm all for! That's not "making a woman feel safe", it's "being a worthy human being". As for the rest of the crap, treating women like pathetic little weaklings, thus actually weakening them instead of empowering them - no fucking way. No, I will not walk a different direction just becuse some women were taught to believe every man is a threat. Of course I'd try and help if I saw a woman getting scared because of me, but all these alleged precautions are just wrong. Finally, as for "standing up" to women when guys talk about them - no. Plain and simple, no. Not just because nobody gives a damn when women do the same to men, but because sexualizing women verbally or criticizing them for certain things isn't in any way wrong. Yes, a guy is allowed to tell a friend "what I'd do" to a woman who sppends hours and hundreds of dollars making herself appear sexually appealing. It might be pathetically immature, but it isn't hurtfull towards women. And ofc it's ok to criticize women, why the fuck wouldn't it be? Other than sexualizing verbally and criticizing I can't think of an example for this "standing up to your friends" thing.
Don't be a feminazi supporter. Empower women rather than weakening them!
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I dont blame him, asisn women treat white men like their Dicks are made of solid gold. Ispent a few years working in various countries in South East Asia. I had a great experience with dating some lovely women there, even had my heart broken there. I dont know if I was so successful dating there because I was a white man or because they liked me as I was so naturally charming and handsome. Everybody assumes thst Asian girls are only ever intrested in white men for money or as prostitutes & there is certainly is that but a lot Asian women just like white men. Young, hot, single, educated women just looking for fun to have a good time. They even approach white men they like the look of, buy him a drink at the bar or ask him to Dance, if she likes you she will take you home for sex. They have no hang ups about cooking for you, cleaning for you or doing your laundry if you spend a lot of time together which absolutely amazed me. Lile I dated in Manhattan and as a 6'3 male women were mad to get with me but still had an attitude, i never had trouble dating in new york, whereas in Asia there was a real appreciation of myself and a sense of gratitude whether it was deserved i dont know. That was my experience of vietnam, the phillipines, thailand, Burma, India, Malaysia and Indonesia. I've never had so many sexual options as I had when I was in Asia, even seriously dated a Thai chick for some time.
But "Chivalry" has never left the Realm. None of this would matter, and many would be willing Escorts, to ensure her safe passage home, or to her car. The "Gentleman's Way" from times before, that some of us never topped following and living, and none would be concerned with this. Today, though, why can't she carry a weapon, to protect herself, so she doesn't NEED A MAN to "protect" her? Maybe some just like having a guardian, someone she knows, and trusts, and feels safe with? Doesn't make her any less of a woman, or any less of a person!
would you want this ( at least parts of it) for when your daughter is walking back from her friends house or maybe from school?
or are you quite happy that other guys when she’s at school, goes to college, goes to University, etc, simply has to put up with exactly what other girls put up with.
Those that downvoted, when you go in to living room snd see wife of daughter, think about it.
those that are single guys... maybe this is why you are single!
I think as of right now this is a great idea in my opinion I feel like this should not even be invented. If guys will just stop being so creepy around us and stop being so perverted around females we wouldn't have to have a safe list. We should be comfortable in our own skin we should be safe in our own environment that we are in. there are some guys in the world that can be perverts and creepy and weird around females, we have to make a list and make gadgets just to keep us safe in the world around us, as we live life. until some guys around the world act more maturely and act more politely instead of out of lust and sexual desires this would stay.
It's not about being scared it's about being cautious and aware of your surroundings. i can fuck up a guys eye if I want to, but I pick and choose my battles wisely. get it know
Know nothing about it but I assume it has a lot of silly BS ideas that sound nice until you inspect it further. Or basic shit that pretty much every guy does on some level anyways.
Girls have no idea what the average guy does purely to avoid the appearance of being a threat or creep. Since my teenage years I was consciously doing things to avoid scaring girls as a guy.
Like if I'm walking through school on my way to class. Girl comes around the corner and turns down the direction I'm already heading. I'm now choosing to not make her feel as if I'm following her purely because I walk faster than her and am a physical threat.
Girl still might feel like someone is following her and be paranoid because of her actions and nothing I did.
I understand why so many women feel unsafe walking down the streets. The statistics don't lie there is a higher chance for a woman to be attacked by man than for a man to be attacked by another man. Most women aren't physically stronger so they need to carry weapons for protection. If they don't carry them, their only solution is to escape which is obviously hard when the attacker is stronger. The victim is never to be blamed. We shouldn't be teaching women safety tips, we should keep them safe and basically everyone so it's just so sad that even cops can't do their freaking job properly.
You're right. I should have specified that they are sexually based attacks. Women get attacked simply because they're women. While men get attacked because they get themselves into trouble. Men think that not fighting back is weak masculinity.
@jspl90 I'm not going drunk alone at night plus there aren't many shady neighbourhoods in my city and yes that is getting into trouble but that's what I'm talking about. Police should make sure that there aren't bad neighbourhoods so anyone can go out safely but as we know they are not able to provide that so we need to either carry weapons to be safe or not go out at all.
"so we need to either carry weapons to be safe or not go out at all." That's goes for literally everyone. And there is no way that's not going to be the case. The mistake people make is that they expect to ever be totally safe. No one is ever totally safe, that's just reality. People should be prepared to defend themselves all the time.
yet some do but you seem think men get attacked because they get themselfes in trouble😒look lady sometimes just walking down the street is enough and fighting back? are you saying one should not fight back? like if someone tries to rape you you would not fight back?
I'm sorry but the only guys who attack women are criminals.. This post won't get through to criminals.. Also most people don't get raped.. It's like 1 in 1900.. Where as it's much more likely for me as a male to get assualted..
It’s insane and obnoxious to think we shouldn’t be teaching women safety tips. We should be teaching everyone safety tips. The idea that you should just be safe and never worry is just entitlement.
Yet another fine example of classic feminist double standards, this is basically asking for specific treatment and claimimg yet another false claim of gendre discrimination.
Is it safe for a woman to be out on her own in a shady area at an odd hour? No. Is it safe for a man to do so? No.
The world is simply not safe it has nothing to do with women they just enjoy (the feminists not all women ofc) playing the victim and making everything about them.
They go through life justifying everything with being a woman.
But tell me this: is anyone perfect? Does anyone never make mistakes? Feminist are always on about how men are the reason they don't have this or don't have that but I never saw a feminist admit to being human acknowledge that she can mess up that some things are HER fault, but nooo they simply put the blame on men because it makes it easier for them sleep at night without facing the fact that they are losers in life
Cute suggestions. But some of that list shouldn't be enforced dogmatically. That's a recipe for snitches, who will misinterpret the actions of a man minding his own business who doesn't even notice the woman nearby. And won't hesitate to report him. Next he knows, he's being interrogated by an officer who recently returned from maternity leave , about some woman he has no memory of ever seeing on his route. And as usual, the snitch who reported is guaranteed secrecy, so the man is denied his right to face his accuser. On some college campuses , this already happens.
and then saying that all men are out here committing crimes.
No its a tiny fraction of the population.
And I think most men do recognize that there is a tiny fraction of criminals who do bad things to women. And most of us do keep that in mind and we all hope to not make women feel uncomfortable.
I think its BS how the girls are acting like most guys aren't automatically and already like this list made here. Most of us created that list in our own heads and do these things already. But the girls keep blaming all men for. the actions of very few.
Nope all of these assume women are innocent. There is plenty of reasons to talk down specific people. And don't interject into context where I don't have all facts. Walking the same speed would be normal if you want to keep a distance since we men are taller and normally walk faster, and men catching up fast from behind freak out more people then if they keep distance. And I will not avoid a woman unless I fear what she will do, its sort of an insult that I can't be trusted. Why would I repeat that bad message. If you let one person in about 100000 or more control your life, you are focusing on the wrong fraction of the world.
I really wish I didn’t read half the comments men have left. Disrespectful af. I honestly can’t believe what I just read. I’m not even going to make a point cause I know a lot will tell me I need to grow up. All we ask for is try to see things from our perspective and be a little more thoughtful of us. Not treat us as toddlers, it’s very different. To all men who want to do better, we see you and we appreciate you. Keep doing you.
I think most dudes do what is on this list already. And have been doing so. People on this website dont represent the majority whatsoever in my opinion.
@flamiE you want is to see things from your perspective. Very well I admit that can be hard to do. Personally... I don't want to believe you girls are that afraid of us. But are you?
@ThisIsMyOpinion I’m not afraid of just any guy but if he’s walking at the same pace as me for example (which many guys do, maybe not intentionally but still), I’d get at least anxious. I’m a reasonable woman and know not all men are like that but I try and study every guy I pass by to see if he could be a potential threat. I know men get harassed too but the average man is stronger than the average woman. So I’m thinking, I can probably hit him and try and run away? What if this only makes him angrier and when he catches me, he does more harm than he would’ve if I hadn’t tried to fight him? Are there any people around? Cameras? See, that’s not normal. We shouldn’t get anxious and we do because nearly every woman has some experience with harassment. I don’t understand how some men can be surprised by how many women have been in this situation. And even low-key blaming us for wanting to be safe when being outside or saying it’s our problem. That’s just madness, the world has gone absolutely crazy.
@ThisIsMyOpinion just don’t be weird. Don’t do things like walking too close to me or be too quiet so I can’t hear you, call out your friends, educate your sons, don’t think it’s women’s responsibility to protect ourselves. Take no for an answer. Change the system, too many got away with severe harassment. Things like that.
We don’t ask for anything crazy, it should come by default to any decent human being. It’s like how some women try and be nice when they let a man know they’re not interested. We don’t have to do it but a lot would because it’s what should be done. We’re being thoughtful of you. Think about us too. Especially cause it’s not simply about our ego like it is with us being gentle with you, but us feeling safe. If we can do that for you, you sure can try and think of ways to “put us more at ease”. Next time you see a woman walking at night ask yourself “If that was me and I felt anxious, what would help?”.
@flamiE all of that sounds like common sense. I mean I know that it can sometimes hard to not give the wrong idea. Specially at night. But we can try. To feel afraid, even more when cases like this keep happening, must be horrible.
@ThisIsMyOpinion nothing about her life is internally controlled, she is a virtue less whore and full of hypocrisy. If you wish to argue with a demon, go on, and continue giving her what she needs: your attention.
@ThisIsMyOpinion are you asking me to humiliate you by explaining something high iq people would intuitively understand or are you a virtueless whore too who has assumed i am stupid? Fuck off
@Vetis I am actually just let you humiliate yourself. You came here to insult her, showing how much mad she makes you. And your insults are usually what butt hurt guys give. You just came here to embarrass yourself.
@Vetis if you just came here to insult out of nowhere I call the anger. You didn't came to argue against what she said. That would be five your opinion.
@ThisIsMyOpinion do you understand how hypocritical you are rn calling me angry when youve never met me nor know my personality because I've said something you disagree with in a way that threatens your ignorance im suddenly angry
@Vetis why else would you come here calling her a "virtue less whore and full of hypocrisy" when you were not even in the conversation in the first place? You just saw her and instead of carrying on with your day scrolling, you stop to tell another guy everything that you think she is. What other reason would make you do that?
@ThisIsMyOpinion becuase you severely lack judgement and i am toxic to the political agenda you ally yourself with. Use your brain for something other than making excuses for what the truth is. Explaining why you're dumb isn't but humiliating to you
@ThisIsMyOpinion it is common sense. And we really appreciate men who go out of their way to not freak us out. Thanks for standing up for me by the way. I have nothing to say, some people on this site would benefit from therapy. @Vetis calling me names wasn’t nice mate. Not in the slightest. You don’t know me. Whatever it is that you’re going through, I hope you heal sooner than later✌️until then please try to not insult other decent human beings.
The man attacking my reputation without any logic, as proven as i regretfilly had to invest my intelligence into this situation, is a mamas boy and, someone you appreciate, meaning your whole agenda is to sublimate dominance of males by females—matriarchy. How is this not obvious?
@Vetis you are the most ridiculous guy I have ever encountered here. And I met a lot of them! So you never met her before. You are not hangry then... You just insult her for literally nothing. You don't know her you never talked with her before and you can her a whore and a hypocrite. Do you know how insane you sound?
To put this into context, this comes after the abduction and murder by a police officer of a girl walking home alone along a well lit street after dark.
It’s a tough one because it’s natural for anyone to feel uneasy whilst walking alone at night., but we can’t go around suspecting everyone around us to be monsters... however, it would be beneficial for us all to put each other’s minds at ease on precarious situations
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I personally do not get the points of behaving different at night. There is only a tiny fraction of unprovoked attacks and fearing that would happen is very irrational. I feel like this is something one should work more on dealing with like any other phobia. One should not start putting too much thought in how random men behave like on the street. The rest of all the points are valid addressed about men as well, especially the one about assault/abuse. Statistically men are even more likely to get assaulted on the street. I lived in a high crime area for my country (though in Northern Europe so nothing crazy) and I had to deal with being alone at night unless I wanted to always stay home.. nothing ever happened to me. On the other hand my brother, who is not in the crime scene at all, has been attacked and robbed more than once.
1. Depends, if being attacked, yes. if being argued with? not my business. 2. I just correct innaccuracies in general, be it derogatory or not, but then I'm a science nerd so thats just how I am. 3,4 and 5. Sorry but no, you don't own the sidewalk and I'm not being loud or changing my walking speed just for you. If I'm going the same direction on a linear sidewalk, maybe not be paranoid. 6. It depends on if she has proof, if no proof I remain agnostic, if I have proof she's lying about someone I would tell her off, be if she has proof she isn't lying, then yes I would show concern. 7. fuck you, Comicon hear I come!
Honestly fam, if i am walking at night more than likely its towards my damn car. I am not about to take all of the time needed to remember this shit. Ladies if you don't feel confident enough to protect ya selves than don't go out. No one's forcing you to. Buy some weapons, go on youtube and learn how to fight, workout and make sure you have plenty of stamina. Look out for yourself or have friends with you so they can look out for you and u for them. Most of ya ladies don't go out by yourselves anyway so why not just car pool and call it night
I was once an ass. I learned a long time ago it is not cool to treat women disrespectful. I am a believer in chivalry but it is hard now a days with the feminist movement. I have been cussed out for trying to be helpful, it does not stop me from getting involved. I once broke up a guy kicking his girlfriend in the face with combat boots on and I put him in a full nelson and held him, waiting for the police to arrive. The woman picked up a stick and started beating me with it, so I would let him go. Go figure. Then there is the fact, like the latest incident in Britain. It was a person you should trust. how do I stop that? I would think she was safe if I was passing by.
Well the last one really isn't possible these days since we all have masks. As for the others yes I think it is best not to get to close to a woman walking alone at least during the night. The first one standing up for a woman being bothered what if the woman "wants to take care of herself," as for what my friends say, what I say is very unlikely to change their minds. It may in fact cause them to become more hostile to women if I call them out believe me. I feel the best I can do is not join in, and maybe they will sooner or later see reason.
Some of those points are common sense but I don’t think the idea of crossing the road and distancing is the right way to go.
The danger here would be creating a scenario where normal men avoid getting anywhere near a woman walking alone at night and actually leaving her more isolated and vulnerable because everyone gives her an excessively wide berth.
It also doesn’t address the key point of the Sarah Everard story which is that this man was a policeman who likely used this status to gain her trust and catch her off guard.
I believe in making sure people aren't uncomfortable. However this is kinda a stretch, like I don't expect guys to cross the street so I don't think they are stalking me. I mean I'll keep an eye on my surroundings and who's in my immediate vicinity but that's about it. Just don't be creepy, that's really all there is to it🤷
- I'll never do that, not going to lie. I've heard some guys talk sometimes it's frustration or younger guys boasting about their exploits. Some are just really frustrated. I'm not the thought police.
- I keep my distance from everyone period. That protects myself, and if someone gets in my personal space I'm calm but on alert status.
- No one wants to mistaken for a creeper. I always keep proper distancing walking or driving when possible.
- Will never do that one. If I'm winded running I can only go so fast, I can't run like I used to, I'm not changing my run on behalf of her nerves. I don't run at night anyway.
- I'll refer her to the proper channels. Honestly I am not a person who is usually approached with such personal matters. Mostly business, or technical, never personal problems.
- I always keep a good distance. I don't wear a covid mask outside, so I've never had that issue.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Can u guys not make long stare Can not follow just because u see us alone and find attractive Do not come close If a girl doesn't like you dont ever do anyone of this thise bitch i hate thoser perverts fuckong asshols stupid jerks don't they get that if she like u she will act accordingly but why to try on every girl please please at least you know i would not say all but alomost those who are part time worker and poor do this most doesn't mean tehy are the only one still they are mostly if i talk about my experience
I put a dislike too. I think 99% of men dont do these things. I think you're telling all of us that somehow we are all assholes when in reality its q tiny minority you're talking to. And that tiny group doesn't care what you or anyone else says. They're just assholes.
And even then, regardless of whatever %. Most men are good people who this list simply doesn't apply to. We already do the things in the list. We already are aware and mindful of women and protective of women. I know I am. Always have been protective of girls.
So what does this list do? Nothing. The good men are already being good and you're hurling. anger at them for. the actions of those bad men, and saying to us "look! See what YOU MEN keep doing to us!" But I never did it. Men aren't some singular entity.
So who are you really talking to? The assholes? Why? Do you think you can open their eyes? Or are they just assholes who know perfectly well what they are doing and will do regardless.
Like c'mon lol. I love women. I'm already doing everything I possibly could, as are many others. I wish those other dudes would stop raping and stalking and harassing but its gonna happen whether I like it or not.
Your definition of “control” is very inaccurate, it really doesn’t take much out of your day to have common decency. All of the stuff stated should already be done anyways weather it be a man or a women
@HiveBee i didn't mention and said all men are bad and i didn't abuse all either okey so stop amusing everything by your own dear ok what i felt and experience i wrote why are u getting angry if u haven't done anything wrong it feels like your feeling bad because i am abusing those people who maked me feel unsafe uncomfortable as if you have make any one els so stop saying that tho and about all men and women's i can only say about the people that i have get to see to please shut this all girls know all men are not like this they can be very few in o/o percentage to but still those few makes a lot women's go through a lot stressful and fear get that 1st + your dislike doesn't bothers me but your mentality does 😏
Makes me feel like a dangerous person because I'm a guy. Tbh , if you want to feel secure, don't go out at night. Alone. I don't understand why mens should follow rules that don't help anyone. If someone want to hurt or rape a girl, he'll be happy to have girls alone (because mens changed crosswalk) to do his stuff. And helping others is a natural reaction, why this have to be a rule? Long story short: girls are sometimes happy to have a man close to protect her, just in case.
If im at the bus stop alone and another man comes standing next to me Im ready to fight, my focus is on him just waiting for him to try something. If i have headphones on, i switch the music off to focus on him. Even if im not looking at him my mind is on him and ready to fight because i dont trust him
I think women as a group need to decide if they want to be treated equal or special... I personally think women should be treated special but if they want to be treated equally, then cool, I can work with that. But what I’m not going to do, is treat them special while pretending that it’s actually equal. I would never do any of that stuff for guys, so why would I do it for women? UNLESS, they want to be treated special!
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
If women are equal to men in every way, why do they need us to make so many accommodations for them? I know that not ALL women believe they are equal to men in every way, but many of the hostile feminists seem to have that attitude.
Just plain stupid shit made up by braindead people. If they are that scared and insecure in everyday situations they need a psychiatrist. Nobody should ever adjust their lives or actions to accommodate psychos.
I think that it's a nice thing to do to make other people feel comfortable. No one is going to force anyone to do this. But I think that a good person would want other people to feel safe, and would be thankful that this list exists to show them how. It's a way to be considerate. Not something that anyone is trying to force. The very way it's phrased makes it clear that it's an answer to a question.
It is a weird list. Because victim blaming is something many women do to each other. As for the walking thing, that's another weird woman. If you are going overtake me, overtake me. If you aren't then just fall back. I don't pay much attention to folks who are around me other than to note if they are threats. But a woman can cross the street or do whatever on her own.
But being a gentleman? That much I can understand.
Im a man and i dont want a guy walking behind me the whole time too. Everytime it happens im always ready to fight just incase he tries something because i dont trust him. If you walked behind me i my focus would be on you till you pass me and i will look behind me to see who you are
@Cedric456 I don't want a woman doing that either. That's the point. They can make their own adjustments too. They can slow down, speed up. Or better yet, come to a complete stop until the threat is gone.
I'm anti-social af so don't know about all this. I will stand up for someone if they're actually in danger, but I don't know about being someone's shoulder to lean on type shit. I don't willingly go near people anyway so I'm doing most of these things already.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
When we stop getting conflicting messages from the feminist community. Why would they need to feel safe when they are as powerful and as capable of men. They dont want any special treatment except for every modern HR rule that was created for them because they can't compete. They don't need anything from men either except for this list of things and there will be countless more exceptions and lists that men need to abide by because women are not the same and they are weak and they can't seem to do anything without men
It's a bit ridiculous honestly.. They wanna act like women can do the same things men can but then do stuff like this.. Basically coddle women and treat them like children.. When the men who will attack women won't listen or look at any of that.. If a lot of women feel so unsafe.. Get some protection and learn to use it efficiently..
This list is bullshit. Don't get me wrong, I get the gist of it. They are trying to make women feel less creeped out. However, at the end of the day, it is the woman's responsibility to be safe, not that of random strangers to take care of her. Obviously I'll jump in if I see a woman being harassed or physically assaulted, but if it is just verbal she's a big girl. The last 2 items on the list I would do, but only because I do this anyways.
I'd like to see the list that's for a woman which starts off with: * Don't put yourself in unsafe situations, like walking alone at night in a darkened area ... and so on.
Most of this is common sense and human decency, as Kas19 said. Some of it, like speaking up if your "friends" talk shit about a woman (or anybody) is gossip and backbiting. If you hang out with people who do that, find new friends!! Interjecting with folks like that doesn't do any good.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Wish they'd make up their bloody minds, one moment they are demanding we treat them equally (No white knighting), the next they want to be mollycoddled (Demanding white knighting) and they wonder why we're confused and don't want to date any of them, As they've said to men so often, its time for them to 'man up'
Lol it is illegal in my country not show civil courage. So if police find out that you just ignore someone who get harrassed, threated etc., you may be punished for it. Lol incels in this comment-section under this question had to whine next to police, if there were in my country. Funny how these idiots make it again about feminism and blame women again. Why is it so difficult for the incels to give a normal reply without trashtalking women?
Austria but it is a little complicated. The law does not say it directly but as a whole there is a possibility you may get punished for it. I learned this at elementary school
I think the idea is that men realize we are scary to women. This gives some percentage of guys extra anxiety about making women feel bad.
This extra anxiety interferes with that guys confidence around girls.
With less confidence comes rejection from girls. Rejection from girls due to lack of confidence incels.
Incels are a result of the idea that guys DO care about how women feel, but too much.
And I think that's part of how guys become incels. They walk on eggshells around women, which makes them unattractive, which turns them into incels, which makes them hate women.
Because a man who is respectful of a womans boundaries is less attractive than men who are bold and confident.
If i had not my current boyfriend and no any male relatives or dad, i literally became a fucking feminazi or femcel due to so called incels. These people make me hate men although it is wrong. And the "incels" you mention ain't incel these are normal sane men. I have seen guys who call themself incels having whatsapp groups where they share the dead bodies of women or how they make fun of rape and femicides. These insane people just giving feminazis more reason to hate men
@HiveBee women should also learn to approach too so maybe this can help men to be more confident. I personally not afraid rejection. I was often the one approach guys
It would be nice if women approached men too. The dating game is hard lol.
I'm lucky that girls have approached me. But really there isn't a way for a guy to be normal around girls unless he is continually around girls. And a lot of guys are afraid to be around girls from fear of scaring them.
I know I had this fear growing up. Even if girls flirted with me I was afraid of acting the wrong way. I didn't want girls to think I was some kind of creep or sexual predator.
But to be able. to date, you have to be able to Express yourself in that sexual way. To flirt and all that. Its needed to get a date. And I think incels suppress their natural sexuality in order to make girls feel comfortable around them.
Unfortunately this only makes the guy even more creepy. Because he is "being fake" and denying his nature as a sexual being as we all are.
Honestly, I should be an incel the way I am. But luckily I'm cute enough lol. If I was ugly I'd probably be an angry incel too.
Thanks for replying. Recently I've learned how to flirt and all that. From being afraid and hiding my sexuality due to fear of making girls uncomfortable, to now, where I can flirt with girls, it's a whole new world.
Girls are constantly flirting. Constantly being sexual. Constantly giving looks. Constantly giving hints.
And I was blind to it my whole life. Because of. my fear of being sexual, giving looks, flirting, showing interest. I felt I would be offensive and scary to Express these things.
So I think a lot of guys are going to become incels. And that group is going to grow.
If we can't teach men how to be flirty than they won't. They will be afraid and become incels. That's what I think given my own lifeexperience. I should be an incel as shy and afraid as I am but I am lucky to be tall and pretty good looking.
@HiveBee I completely disagree with the statement “Men who are respectful of women’s boundaries are less attractive than men who are bold and confident.” Men can absolutely be both bold and confident, and STILL be respectful of women’s boundaries! Infact, the men who ARE “bold and confident” AND respectful of our boundaries are the MOST desirable men! And the men you seem to be hinting at, the bold and confident men who are disrespectful of our boundaries are worst kind of asshole out there. They have a “God’s Gift to Women Syndrome” as some call it! The type of men who (in my limited experience) become INCELs are almost pathologically nervous around women. They seem terrified of women, or at least of getting rejected by one, that they become legitimately creepy! Sure, they are respectful, but they are so affraid of rejection, that they never make their move, yet they get angry at the woman if she dares to start dating a man who actually WAS confident enough to actually ask me out! It’s like he believes that if HE put in the time, and HE put in the work, HE deserves my love! That’s not how it works! And the sad thing is almost ALL women will tell a guy right up front, “look, I do like you, I think you are really sweet, but I just don’t think of you like that”, or “well, I guess if you just want to be friends… sure! But I just don’t think of you in a romantic way”, or the more common but equally more ambiguous “… you’re such a great friend!” The reason I use the ellipses is because it doesn’t matter what what’s said before that, if a woman says that you are a great/good friend, then she I’d trying to tell you “yeah, it just isn’t going to happen”! Being bold and courageous, doesn’t mean a man does not respect women’s boundaries! It’s so sad that you think life is like that!
Sure there are some few men who are as you describe. And that's great for them.
But most men aren't, as much as we all wish we could be so that we could have more control of our dating lives.
Incels are only an extreme example of a common fact.
Most men respect and adore women in my opinion. Most GOOD men, are also not as confident and bold as most women would prefer them to be.
So you take the average boy, sprinkle in some "men are sex crazed beasts who rape women" and the result is a generation or more of men who are afraid of women for fear of making them feel bad.
For a young boy, who is initially developing and learning, this path sends him straight down the incel path.
You got young boy who needs to learn how to be around girls. Nobody teaches him how, except to know that he is a potential threat to females and makes them afraid.
Where does he go with that? How does he develop into the man that women really want men to be? He can't.
His only choice is to observe. To see other guys who DO get girls. And guess how it is in the teenage years? Its girls dating pieces of shit to be frank.
And I think it continues into adulthood. Women choose scumbags until they are in their 30s. And so the "good" man, really has zero reference, zero way to see and understand what makes a guy not only confident, but also able to socialize with women.
And socialize is a key word. That's the root. You ruin a boys ability to socialize with girls by teaching him to walk on eggshells around girls.
And you can't learn to socialize when you have self defeating beliefs about yourself. And so you can't become the cool confident respectful man women want. Because you have no Avenue to follow. The self defeating beliefs we learn as kids, carry on later into life
And for some small percentage of men, the effects of those self defeating beliefs are so bad, the kid becomes so socially isolated from girls, that he necessarily becomes unattractive to females. And the more rejection and isolation and confirmation from society that he's just an evil Male beast, the more he goes down the incel rabbit hole.
And that's how I see it. Because all accounts given, I should be an incel.
I'm just some guy who was socially isolated. Afraid to talk to girls not for fear of rejection. But for fear of being offensive some how. Some how my body language tells women that there is something wrong with me. Or so that's how I felt.
Well I'm lucky. I'm not an incel. The only reason why is I'm good looking enough that no matter how shy I am girls still come to me. Lucky me really.
And as time has gone on and I've been more comfortable with girls, I've realized there was never anything wrong with me. I've been good just the way I am this whole time. But it was what i was taught and learned growing up that made me into this fucked up person who was scared of women.
If I was ugly orsomething, I'd probably be an angry incel too. I'm just lucky. I think it's some small percent who become actual incels.
Most guys I think on the average, eventually, whether it takes till they are 30 or till they're 50, will eventually end up marrying or having kids or whatever.
But that incel group is constantly growing. More andmore. And I think at some point nearly half of men will be incels. And that won't be good trust me. Women are going to have acid thrown at them like in the middle east if we can't figure out why the incel groups are growing.
I have known a guy was lonely and virgin in his 30s and he said he accepted the way the life is and did not become a bitter angry asshole who hurt women. These incels you descripe in the end are mentally ill. Why tf is it that important that you get laid? So what when you end up a virgin? These so called incels need therapy. Nobody is entitled to a pattner
Do you not think its painful and psychologically damaging to know you can never experience some of the most fulfilling and pleasurable experiences in life? Not only that, but to be denied those experiences for reasons you cannot understand?
I can guarantee you, your incel friend who is "nice" suffered and raged as hard as any angry incel. Some people merely accept their fate and hide from the pain and pretend it's Ok. They find a way to cope with their eternal rejection and separation from those experiences that are most meaningful to human beings. And that's a psychological fact.
Incels for whatever reason could be temperamental, can't stop stewing in the fact that they are denied the best experience you can have in life for reasons they dont understand.
It's not about being "entitled" as girls want to put it. Because you can't imagine what it's like. Girls have zero worry of being incels unless they are tremendously hideous and deformed.
But perfectly normal and average men can become incels who have no hope of changing their situation.
Why? What is causing dudes who if you looked at them, you would never guess they were incels. You would think they were just an average guy.
The reason I can relate to it, is because I was always shy. I saw how girls treated me. They were interested one second, and then creeped out by me thenext. Why? Because I was a little shy from my isolated and abused childhood.
And so my abused childhood caused girls to treat me weird. And it created in me a sense of worthlessness. I was simply born scum and didn't deserve a girlfriend.
Of course I did date and had sex and had kids and got married. But if I didn't, if instead I became an incel 100% than you would attribute to me those traits that you think incels possess. You think an incel is just a bad person who gets his just reward. But they aren't.
Just like you said, some people dont become angry and hate women. Some people instead hate themselves or find some other cope. The method doesn't deny that they are feeling pain and are lost and dont understand why nobody wants them.
And I'm not special. I'm no better than any incel in any way. I've even seen handsome attractive ones like elliot roger.
Why did I have sex and get married but other incels stayed virgins? I dont know. But it's not because I'm somehow better as a man than they are. I dont believe that.
I also know women who get rejected due to age and live like monk or women who are still virgin in their late 20s but they dont throw acid on random men. This is mentall illness. Does not matter how painful it is, there is no excuse for this bs
Its definitely mental illness I've been saying that on this site.
But I think throwing acid will happen. If we dont figure out what in society is creating this incel illness, it's going to happen.
Let's imagine one day 90% of men become incels. We return to where we started as animals. Where all females reproduced and only 1% of males reproduced.
You could still say there is no excuse for those 99% of men to act violently. That if women want to only reproduce e with the top 1% of men, than that is how it should be.
But you also can't deny that the 99% would get violent and probably just start raping women left and right. Killing the top 1% of men and such.
No you are delusional. This won't happen. Lol wtf. If this was the case all women after their 30s will throw acid on men since most men usually prefere young women which is the minority. These so called incels are just unrealistic and i have discussed with them and most of them just want a beautiful young hot or even only white women and i have seen some men who dont want women their races like wtf. There are enough who would accept their looks but none of them would accept the women they way she is especially if she ain't young and beautiful anymore.
Also prostitutes exist. If they want sex so much, they can get it. People should learn that they ain't entitled to a partner. Nobody need a partner and you are not less worth when you dont have a partner. Your worth dont get defined by another people
But then again, there are studies that show that increasingly men are having less sex while women are having more. the
Is it a delusion or is it fact? I'm not sure.
My main argument is that most men are good people. And a small minority do bad things to women.
This post attacks me, and the other good men, while leaving those assholes to do as they please.
in my opinion this post is the reason why I was so afraid of girls growing up. Why lots of men are becoming incels. Due to fear of being seen as the men that this post is really talking about.
And that is my explanation for why so many angry guys exist on this site and elsewhere. Because we feel 1. Aftacked for things we would never do. And 2. We know that our love lives have been directly impacted by things like this post. We know we have become afraid of women because we care about women.
Some dudes just go nuts and kill people lol. there's always a spectrum.
So that's why I think so many guys can't stand feminism. We all seem to see, that feminism has made us fear women and fuck up our own lives, rather than being something that was supposed to be good.
Anyways, I know a lot of dudes on this site are braindead. It is what it is lol. there's also a lot of insane girls on here too. I've been very surprised to see some very angry and crazy girls here too.
It's not just us guys. Everyone seems kinda fucked up lol. I'm just saying what I think, why I think guys get bent out of shape about feminism. Whether its right or wrong I dont know. But that's my perspective
No you had to be a socispath to throw acid on women just because you are virgin. This is mental illness Like what kind of entitlement is that. Women in third countries are murdered for not being virgins, these idiots are whining and hurting women just because they are virgin? So what if there are more male virgins in western worlds when women are fucking forced to be virgin in third world countries? There are more virgin women in third world countries but we dont kill men. You know what we should detect these incels and jail them since they are potential predators and it does not matter. This makes me fucking angry. I am not even allowed to choose my partner and yer these motherfuckers are entitled to the point they are hurting people. You know what we also force these incels to be prostitutes for gay men since they want sex so much. They dont deserve rights
These so called incels have better than me. I almost trew my mobile phone againt the wall due to anger. I am really done with the entitlement of some incels who think they have it worse when middleeastern women like me can't even have bfs/gfs.
*can't even have bfs/girlfriend if we dont want our families to abandone us.
By the way thank you that you are still very nice. I also read the list and i can now understand a little the anger of some men. The first one is for example is very ridiculous and the way it is written is biased againt men. So i understand you better but this does not justify the antiwoman posts in the commentsection
I think incel is a first world problem. The middle east is a whole separate issue. Even this post has nothing to do with the middle east. They are straight up EVIL over there and I think we should go in there with guns and liberate women from their evil clutches. I suppose that's impossible but I think that would be nice.
If you're living over there, sorry that sucks. I hope you can escape. Come to America, I'll hide you in my basement lol.
Now I dont know if I can explain what o was thinking because you have a different culture but I was thinking today and wanted to share an idea with you so I'll just try anyways and see what you think?
I work with this guy. He's nerdy. He walked hunched over. He walks funny, like weird, like a beaten dog or something.
When he speaks, his voice is too high for a man. he's awkward, he's weird, he's kind of annoying. People dont really want to talk to him but they just want to be nice.
In my life I was like that too. Just like him. I had no friends. Me and other guys like him would always get along because we all instantly saw eachother and knew we were fellow weirdos.
And guys like that are incels. He, and I, are not some raging hateful incels who will throw acid. Like I said, that's the extreme group who go nuts.
This guy is probably an incel. And I know he's not gay or really effeminate because he likes being like that. I've known and had friends with so many and known myself as well.
He walks and talks funny, and is submissive in his every demeanor and action, because he is a beaten down man.
These men are not attractive to women. But at the same time, they do not understand why.
They become these emasculated timid afraid men, because they see how women are treated, such as in Muslim countries, and they reject that aspect of men entirely. They reject the aggressive, assertive, self confident, and any other "masculine" trait. In order to show women that they are not evil men who are predators.
And rejecting your masculinity as a man, in the US anyways, makes you an incel. No woman wants these men.
So that's kind of my explanation for why a lot of guys are so mad about feminism. We feel like we have sacrificed and discarded our masculinity, for the sake of treating women right, and we have been punished by being rejected and isolated by women.
Its not just sex. Women do not want to talk to those guys. Women are creeped out by those guys. Women are disgusted by those guys.
I know it's a first world problem but nobody in the first world is comparing our lives to the middle east. We see the middle east as a horrible place where evil people still run things and we all wish it would change for the better. And we all feel bad for women in the middle east and other third world countries where women are treated like shit.
I live in an european country but my familiy is very strict and traditional. lol my aunts got beaten, starved, get cheated on etc by their husbands but i never ever thought all men are bad since my dad is not thst bad. I dont know the struggles the incels have seems to me like a joke. I really think you are mistaking normal sane virgin shy guys with Insan sociapaths. And You never was an incel. Being virgin and shy or so on does not make you incel. You dont need a woman to have a worth or dont need anyone to live.
Well it was very nice to talk to you. Thanks for talking to me. If you feel like relying or not it's ok. Either way it was a good conversation and I worked out new ideas in my head too lol. So thank you.
And you are a little paranoid and overthinking. Do whats you make happy as long as you dont hurt anyone. So stop doing anything for a woman like giving up your mascilinity -i dont know what this even mean. Masculinity ain't toxic. Humans may be toxic but not a gender. You are really mistaking sociapaths with normal men and ignore the radical feminism/toxic feminism that is potrayed by the media. Media especially American media make every littl movements like feminism, lbgt, etc. make bad. I even know transsexual people who does not want to do anything with the lbgt movement due to the media and lol know they are using islam
In this society you do. If a man can't get a woman, that means he is an inferior man. Period. That's what our culture is.
If you get beaten and starved anything less looks silly. But this is the first world. We have problems that aren't as bad lol.
The incels who attack people are only.01% of incels. Most dont even know the term incel until it became a popular. term. and plenty existed before that.
I'm not just talking about incels who attack people. I'm explaining why men resent this post.
Because we sacrifice our masculinity for women, and that makes us unattractive, and that turns us into incels.
And we men recognize this even if we can't explain it. I dont even know if you get it or I'm explaining it decently at all. But you probably wouldn't want to date the old me when I was a weirdo who was ashamed to be a man and made my voice higher than it should have been and was shy and timid. Gjrls. dont like that. And that's why I couldnt date.
Luckily for me. im cute AF so i did not end up as an incel. Girls liked me cuz of my very good looks and that gave me a tiny bit of confidence that grew. I'm very different today than I was back then. And trying to understand what it is that made me, and makes other guys like me, become so fucked up and so unattractive to women.
Those incels who attack women? They are the extreme fringe group of the same kind of guy. Except their isolation and rejection drives them insane. Of course its mental illness. But it's natural to develop mental illness from PTSD that we experience living a life as a social reject.
I never chose to give up my masculinity. I was taught since I was a little kid that men are violent aggressive monsters who rape and abuse women.
Ever since I was a little kid I didn't want to be that way. I was brainwashed into the person I became. It was really never a choice. I was forced to become. that way. It. does not apply to my current self. It took years and years and years of trying to figure it all out. It took me more than 15 years to stop being q creepy weirdo that girls avoided except before they knew I was weird cuz I was cute lol. Once they saw I was a guy who rejected his masculinity they were creeped out by me.
It was from my childhood and installed into me. And it's very hard to break out of it. You can't just snap your fingers and become normal like everyone else. I think it is impossible actually for most incels. They literally can't because they are blind. Its hard to understand what people who are social outcasts are like. It's like being autistic. You just dont understand social interaction and there isn't anyone to help you get out of it.
If men continue to make their worth dependent on women this social structure would never end and this same apply to women who are afraid of having much sex since they dont want to be seen as "sluts". I personally never ever see someone like this who seriously give up their masculinity or bullshit and make their voice higher like wtf. Even they most shy virgin guy i met was not like this who is my secret boyfriend now lol You are and this guy you know need a therapist and just get over it and since when was masculiity unattractive for women like wtf. Not all women are lesbians. Again the incels i know were very entitled who only want attractive women and so i can understand when women can't stand this and it is a fact that everyone like confident people and it does not Matter which gender you have. People also thought i was a weirdo till i stop being too shy and become more confident and everyone like good looking people. Ugly women dont have easy and but they dont become incels
It's very common. You aren't taught it. You do it automatically.
For example, some kids grow up with abusive parents who beat them.
In response, that child may reject any and all forms of aggression. Which includes standing up for themselves.
So they become too nice, and become victims in life, who get preyed on by other people, because they are afriad to stand up for themselves, because they have rejected all forms of aggression, because of their violent abusive parents.
And this is real, and you can learn about it in psychology classes.
In that same sense, of an abused child rejecting aggression and being unable to defend themselves. Many guys, and its not just me. I knew tons of them. I see them all the time here in the US.
Most people dont notice them like I do. I see them extra clear because I understand what I'm seeing. You probably just see a guy and that's it. But if he tried to hit on you I doubt you would like it lol.
Your secret boyfriend sounds nice. he's probably just shy. I know girls like shy guys. Shy guy is different from guy who rejects his masculinity because of what he has seen men do to women.
Once I had a college class. We sat in 3 rows. I sat in back next to a very pretty and very tall girl.
A guy, definitely an incel, a weirdo, a social outcast, sat two rows in front of where I and the girl sat.
This guy was a nice guy. Kind and courteous. But awkward and weird.
He would make these stupid jokes in class out loud. Then, he would turn around in his chair facing the pretty girl next to me, look at her, and laugh this insane weird laugh that made it sound like he was crazy. And he did it over and over and over and over.
It was embarrassing.
Think about that. What kind of person thinks its socially acceptable to make a joke, and then turn around and stare at the girl you like and laugh like you're crazy repeatedly?
This kind of guy is what a lot of incels are like. he's socially blind. You cannot explain to this person how to be normal. He, I, and many others I met, were damaged since childhood and developed into blind and broken men.
Usually they are nice guys really. Nice people who never want to hurt anyone. Never hurt anyonefeelings. Always be kind. Always avoid confrontation. Always avoid making others uncomfortable.
But them being socially awkward makes people uncomfortable by it's very nature.
These kinds of guys are all over the place. They are usually super smart too. Youd think he was retarded acting like that or autistic. But he isn't. The guy and others I knew were all very smart at everything except being social.
Being socially retarded is like a disability. And I know because I used to be like that.
Today I'm much better. Girls like me. I like girls. Things are good.
But I was blind for most of my life and had no idea how to escape that. I only did it after literally trying half of my life. 15-20 years of hell lol.
Good night. Dont let me bother you anymore lol sorry I type too much. You can ignore me now if you want =D it's gone on long enough I dont want to keep asking you what you think forever cuz I could go on forever.
I am still awake. You said you was stupid when you were like 15-20 but every normal human being was immature or ain't mature enough since they were fucking minors/kids. People brains are developing till they are 24. I also heard that there are many insane people in america and no this is not an insult. I know many europeans who were culture shocked and notice how many mentall ill people exist in america. I mean 40% of the population of america are very poor, too many homeless people, the civilisation ain't good as it is in Europe, no health insurance, police violence, not secure as north Europe etc. So i think it has to do with the life standard in america why so many retarted people exist in america.
I was also culture shocked when i talk to many americans via online or watch many American youtube videos and believe me. I thought i am watching/talking to some of my own middleeastern people who were retarded. The only difference is america is seen as first world country due to economy although when it comes to society you guys are still backward/stupid and it does not matter whether you are left or right. The civilisation is may be one step better than some third countries.. The shittier the civilisation, the more retarted people.
I am not a threat. That's all I can do about it. I will not let someone dictate any other thing to do or to not do... unless I decide to do (or not) it, based on my own and free free decision. If one does not feel safe - stay at home.
I always do that cause i dont want to make any woman feel uncomfortable but some don’t understand. A woman once asked me why i cross the road when i see her and asked if im scared of her
I do all but the first two, I feel like both of those situations are none of my business, and especially the second one, if they are being derogatory, I would reevaluate my friendships, if they are just joking, which I Guarantee the opposite sex does about men, I would just ignore it.
@kas19 Women don't need men and can do anything a man can do remember? LOL!!! I suspect one of the main reasons why men are getting upset is because women assume we disagree. In reality, they're probably tired of being scapegoated for every single issue and it's always a one sided argument like @cheesesteaks is what seems like the case is doing.
@Cicero79 Hi Cicero, while you are correct that men are also raped. In fact ever since the Justice Dept. removed “penetrated” from the definition of rape, statistics are revealing that men and women are raped at nearly the same rate. However, men are not raped by women in NEARLY the same way that women rape men. Women tend to use coercion, blackmail, or general threat, as well as taking advantage of men who are incapacitated by drugs or alcohol. Whereas women are by FAR more likely to be raped by use of force! Since most women (on average) cannot overpower men, men do not have to fear getting raped while walking down the street, or walking through a parking lot, to or from their car. It’s for THESE reasons that it would be nice if guys understood this fear, and just be kind and give us some space. I agree that expecting guys to cross the street is ridiculous, but until you have felt the fear of someone who is nearly THREE times your weight following you at night, while you worry, is THIS guy going to rape me? Well, you couldn’t possibly understand! Look, I understand that men are victims of violent crime at higher rates than women, but fear of general violence, and fear of being raped are two very different things. And YES! I have been the victim of violence, and I was raped. There is NO comparison to the fear before, during, OR the trauma afterwards! If guys would just understand that, and ask themselves “is the way I’m walking close behind this woman, possibly causing her fear?” and just be courteous and either slow down, or quickly pass us! Jeez, it’s not really THAT much to ask. I’m sensitive to the fact that, on a date, a joke in poor taste about falsely accusing a man if he doesn’t… whatever, could cause a man a LOT of mental stress, and psychological damage, so could y’all just be sensitive to the fact that following closely, or stopping to just say “hello” when you were just running towards us is frigging terrifying?
@Cicero79 Correct. No one talks about the negativity in the gay community. I'm so sorry that happened to you. The fact that most don't care about male victims in general is atrocious. I can't imagine trying to deal with that at 14.
@kas19 Anytime my fat little snowflake. By the way, I have been enjoying my conversation with another walking red flag. What's your favorite color by the way?
I'm fine with all of them except the second one. No one has a right to try to control what other people can think and say. It's okay to tell them you disagree, but you have no obligation to do so, nor to try to silence them. This scenario comes too close to that. They are entitled to think whatever they want without being harassed.
I want to add that women have a rational reason to fear strange men since men are physically stronger and far more likely to commit assault. So I sometimes observe some of the things on the list when I see a woman in public -- especially if it is at night, or in an isolated situation -- if I feel she might be fearful. It's about not wanting a woman to feel uncomfortable.
How? By being condescending and treating you like an infant? Because that's just what half this list is about. Wouldn't you rather be empowered than weakened by men?
I dont know. I feel like I've understood that since as early as I can remember. It's why I was so shy and afraid to talk to girls my whole life.
Because I knew guys were horrible to women and stalked them and 40 year old men pulling out their dicks on the street for 13 year old girls.
I feel like I understood it fully lol. It made me afraid to talk or be around girls my whole life personally. I was afraid to do anything somehow wrong that would make a girl think I was that way. I just wanted girls to know that I wasn't a bad person.
And obviously that made me shy and it made it hard for me to date.
And I think most guys are like me. Most of us aren't dating and fucking and harassing women. Most of us are just living out life, hoping someday to find someone special. That's what I think. I dont know. Maybe it's true and like 50% of men or something are just ignorant, or even worse, purposefully ignorant jerks.
I dont know. But I know I'm not and most dudes I know aren't either.
@DiscomfortZone I am weaker than men. I don’t want men to treat me like a man. I’m a female and that makes me weak and vulnerable to men who want to hurt me. I didn’t design women like this God did. He wants men to treat us right
@HiveBee if you’re really a good guy you shouldn’t have to worry about proving it. Girls will be comfortable around you. And if you do or say something ignorant most girls will understand guys see things a little differently sometimes.
That's not true at all in my opinion. You can be a perfectly good person and still be afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing around a girl. And I think many guys suffer from this problem. Plenty of great guys who are afraid of girls.
Maybe it's something you aren't capable of understanding. Just as you said we can't understand you. You can't understand us either.
If you really can't see how a good person can worry and feel anxiety and fear around women than I dont know what else to say.
By saying that. It means that I myself must somehow be a bad guy. But I've never been one.
These days I'm 1000% more comfortable than I ever was around girls. And girls like me.
But my entire childhood i was taught that men are evil and i didn't want girls to think i was evil. I dont know if you can understand what I'm saying. Maybe not.
One time I talked to a girl from my class. She looked terrified of me. This was before me recently being comfortable with girls.
I felt horrible. I thought I must be so scary. She was shaking in her boots!
But it turned out, she was shaking because she was shy and nervous and had a big crush on me.
So I was wrong to think she was afraid of me and to feel so bad about it. But that's just how I saw it because that's what I believed.
Pretty silly but now it's different for me luckily. It was really depressing to think she was afraid of me. I'm lucky that I found out through someone else that she had a crush on me lol.
I just want girls to be safe too. I love women very much and appreciate them. But it's hard for everyone lol. Life is crazy.
Oh, so "god" made you this weak? What a load of bullshit. You are the one making yourself weak because you're too pathetic. Blame "god" as much as you want, that's what all you ridiculous cultists do. Good luck living your excuse for a life as a damsel in distress. Fucking disgusting.
@DiscomfortZone you have no fucking idea what being a woman is like. Yes God made men stronger with testosterone and we have estrogen which doesn’t build much muscle.
I would say try to make women fear less, but I'm afraid that might be biological. A bit like try and make men angry less. It's not going to happen. I will help the women in my life, those who have proven themselves to me. I refuse to treat women as a group. People are individuals.
I live a bit by the countryside since that's where I'm studying so there usually aren't a lot of people walking at night, but if you do see a woman walking by herself, then I think it'd be a respectful thing to follow some of these guidelines, but I also wouldn't blame you for not really considering it. After all, you're out for a reason just like she is, so as a man, your focus is going to be on your destination or on what you're currently doing, not the people around you.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
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I'm gonna go about my business like I always have. Other people's fear is their own responsibility, so making women feel safe isn't a priority.
And then there's the idea that you SHOULDN'T feel safe walking around alone at night. I don't. I have enough sense to know that even the biggest, toughest man in the world is potentially in danger in that scenario. Nobody's bulletproof. Don't walk around alone at night. Be smart
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Anonymous
(18-24)
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I believe everyone should do this for both men and women
I'm ok with most of that. But the last point - keeping your face visible in times of a global pandemic where mask wearing is required in countries with a sensible attitude to the virus. Not sure that it's necessarily practical.
Because the two are at odds with each other? You can't expect the population to simultaneously both wear and not wear a mask. That just doesn't compute.
And let's be blunt covid is a bigger threat to everyone than sexual predators are to women.
@medlife That is all fine, and good, but what happens when you actually shoot someone, KILL them, and then find out he was a Deaf/mute, just wanting change to maybe buy food? Did you take a course, for carrying? What did they tell you, about shooting another person? Yes, some places, have "Stand your Ground" laws, but have you ever thought, how it would feel, if you actually KILLED another person? I have my concealed carry permit, as well, but seldom go places where I feel like I NEED to carry. It's different, for a woman, I know! I NEVER, EVER want to be in any situation when I have to kill someone, EVER!! It's interesting, in so many videos, when people talk about defending themselves, and in most cases, they can't even get their weapon out, and if they do, bystanders get shot, not the criminal!! I AM NOT, IN ANY WAY, against concealed carry, or the 2nd Amendment, and I believe that is needed, now, more than ever, with so many talking about "Disbanding Police"! I simply ask that you REALLY consider, what it means, when you shoot, and taking another life.
Who ever u are I am a proud co owner of a firearms training and shooting range I train and am well trained. I am not a snowflake that freaks put when someone barks at me and I understand completely what it is to be verbally or physically assaulted. I do kickboxing and looking to starting muay thai, a gun is a last resort. I live in south where people do not just approach a female for no reason so if I so much as aim I aim to shoot and if I shoot I shoot to kill. I hunt deer and have never missed and it has been only a handful of times that I had to deliver a mercy kill shot because my first didn't kill it. If someone comes at me and does not comply with my warning , which is delivered loud and clear with the actual threat " stop right there I am armed and will shoot" I will shoot to kill I am insured and well aware of taking someone's life is no joke. But if threatened and the attacker is persistent and still comes at me I will most definitely shoot and kill to protect me and mine.
@Medlife Based on what you wrote here, you might be a woman for me. 🤣 Is telling an assailant that you are armed a requiremen of the law where you live? Revealing that you have a weapon is to surrender a huge tactical advantage, which I would not do. Unlike @JackSmy I do not think that ‘taking a life’ is a big deal. As a former soldier and current licensed security guard and bodyguard I can that it would not be my first. I am licensed to carry while working, which is extremely unusual here in cucked Socialist disarmed girlyman ruled Australia. Outside of that, a black belt in Shotokan karate takes care of business.
Gday mate i have fam in Maroubra just outside of Syd I may holler when visiting lolz 🥰. And yes concealed carry is a go here but also stand your ground, so I will warn but also follow with appropriate pop pop right in the knee caps. I don't wish to end anyone's life for we all have our stories but if one comes at me, my face will be the last thing he/she sees before the Creator's
I think... I don't give a shit. Women made their bed, now they can lay in it. For such a strong and independent bunch they sure are fucking terrified of their own shadow. Just creating problems where none exist as usual. I assume this is from some retard on twitter yeah?
@JackSmy I know quite a few women who are concerned about them. People aren’t actually stopping and thinking. Now walking across the street just to avoid her is a little much. However, if people don’t stand up to bums who hurt women, women will get hurt more often. Whether you want to admit it or not, many of not most have done nothing to provoke it.
@JackSmy Personally no. I'm aware there are women out there who have. But some of the things on the list are a bit much. I really can't imagine that there are enough men out there who even care enough to put this stuff in practice and it's not like you can force then to. With that in mind pick some self defence skills or weapons because I don't think shit will change anytime soon or if at all.
It's a pretty easy set of things to do. If it helps make women feel more safe then I don't see any problem doing it. I can understand the point, you never know who could be a rapists or an attacker. So it's better to be safe.
And I don't get why so many guys are offended by this. Guys, it's true that it's not all men but it's enough men to make women afraid. Every single one of my female friends has been either harassed, catcalled or assualted. Thats enough make them afraid. Don't get offended and make it about you, it's not helping. Only some men might be doing all the bad stuff but if the rest of us just stand by and do nothing, we're part of the problem and we're letting the bad guys do what they want. So don't get offended and try to help out, we can do better.
Is this new? That’s just what I was taught to do as a gentleman. Women feel fearful when alone and isolated, so it’s just respectful to give them space in certain scenarios.
Australia has park benches and bus stops designated only for women and enforceable by law. So any #heforshe list to modify behavior wouldn't surprise me one bit.
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