Do you believe spanking children is an outdated way of discipline? (Page 2)

Question

I’ve heard some people talking about the biological effects that getting spanked as a kid can give children and effect them I adult hood. I’ll be quoting some information from articles talking about the effects of spanking on children’s brains. ^ Please tell me what you think about it/share your experience of being spanked as a child and if you believe it’s effected you in adulthood. spanking elicits a similar response in children’s brains to more threatening experiences like sexual abuse. Those consequences potentially affect the brain in areas often engaged in emotional regulation and threat detection, so that children can respond quickly to threats in the environment. Spanking kids can make them susceptible to later on in life being physically abused by a partner and or spouse since spanking can give children the wrong impression of what love is. (Most parents tell their kids they spank them cause they love them; it normalizes toxic relationships)  Preschool and school age children — and even adults — [who have been] spanked are more likely to develop anxiety and depression disorders or have more difficulties engaging positively in schools and skills of regulation, which we know are necessary to be successful in educational settings Many studies have shown that physical punishment — including spanking, hitting and other means of causing pain — can lead to increased aggression, antisocial behavior, physical injury and mental health problems for children. Americans’ acceptance of physical punishment has declined since the 1960s, yet surveys show that two-thirds of Americans still approve of parents spanking their kids. Sources ;

williamstorm3 · Answer

Dont know, I go back and forth with this one. One one hand, the bible says spare the rod spoil the child, on the other hand, people say that verse is misinterpreted and is not literal but metaphorical and there's other more spiritually mature ways of disciplining your child and helping them to understand things. I don't believe in just spanking kid if they didn't even know what they were doing was wrong and it was an innocent intention. Thats lazy impatient parents with no spiritual discipline or maturity. Which is ironic, they are trying to discipline there kid. I hear you about the brain damage thing. Liberals often skew studies, so I dont know how true that is. It might only be if there beating there kid with a belt or spanking them to hard. Is weird to spank a kid when there a teenager especially a girl. If parents talk thing out with there teenager or take way privilege, why would they not do the same with a young child?

genericname85 · Answer

no, i don't. i think spanking is a very necessary "tool" in your tool belt of socialization. though it should definitelay be the least used one and if it is used, it should never be used in anger but purely from a socialization standpoint. your job as a parent is to prepare your child for life. and if you behave a certain way in life, you will face physical force. it is a parents job to show the boundaries to their chid. and if you will never even consider physical corrective measures, then your child can't be properly prepared. maybe you never need it. maybe your child doesn't test those boundaries. good. no obligation to use spanking. but it has to be a tool at your disposal that you're competent in using, when the situation calls for it.

MrJMM · Answer

I used to be spanked with a belt and it hurt. I used to be verbally abused and I still am. It's not okay to abuse children in any way because it's scarring. Because of those things my brain developed a thing that I remember exactly what happened and what was said when I got verbally or physically abused and it never goes away from my memory. It's better to talk to them but never abuse them, I know at least 17 teenagers that got abused similarly to me and all of us are afraid of our parents because they caused that. If I ever see a kid get abused by their parents in public I feel instantly bad for them and I just want to take the kid away from them as far as possible. It's evil to abuse children.

Minerate · Answer

I think it depends on the degree of force in the spanking. I don't believe a belt, rope or any other tool like that is acceptable and does lean more towards abuse. My family used the yard stick (which I would say is acceptable), as it was usually a flimsy piece of wood or plastic, so the harm/force that could be done was minimal. The worst would be an open hand, but even then, it was just a few swats on the butt (~5-10 and only the butt) and not full blown hits.

Like everything, the frequency and severity of the blows make a lot of difference. I don't believe it's a bad discipline, as usually it was reserved ((again, RESERVED)) for the WORST punishment, not the first choice.

007kingifrit · Answer

what we have here is the product of a generation that didn't experience enough suffering in youth and so tries to do no harm anywhere in life

suffering is not optional. you can suffer a little when you are little or you can suffer big when you are big.

also: i don't put any trust in these studies that say something "can" happen to kids later in life. 75% of all published psychology studies cannot be reproduced and the field has no methodology that merits taking it seriously. plus they only publish studies that fit the narrative they want

420Rachel · Answer

Timeout is WAY more effective than spanking. My son HATES time out. 🤣 I don't spank my son but I was spanked as a child, it didn't negativity effect me and I love my parents. And spanking wasn't the primary form of punishment from my parents, I was only spanked when I acted REALLY bad. Some other forms of punishment I received were sentence writing and filling up a bucket with rocks from the backyard. 🤣 And time outs of course.

Coulis · Answer

I was spanked. It is a horrible way to discipline a child. It teaches them that when you cannot control your emotions that you are allowed to use violence to solve it. But in fact violence is not a solution. I do not spank my children. The culture of laughing about being spanked discussing how to spank children and laughing about it has to stop. As a diasporic African woman it is a particular problem in our various nations and communities.

MountAverage · Answer

It's abuse, plain and simple. Spanking children traumatizes them. At that young age their extremely vulnerable and are emotionally highly dependent on their parents and their trust to them is crucial. By spanking them, parents ruin that trust.
And no anecdote in the world about "my parents spanked me and I turned out fine" will ever change that psychological fact. Also - no, you did not turn out fine. You turned out to be a piece of shit who thinks it's okay to spank children. You just came full circle of abusiveness.
Also, parents do not spank their children because they have no other options to "teach" them. They spank them to relieve THEIR OWN frustrations and anger issues. It's 100% selfish, and the kids are the victims. If you believe you "need" to spank your children, you have failed as a parent. No excuses.

ToastyOats · Answer

I prefer to fight my children fair and square. Where people always mess up is making it some weird sadomasochistic ritual. That's what fucks people up! When your kid mouths off just tap them on the head with one knuckle to get their attention then give them a smile and tell them why they need to listen better. Kids are extremely sociopathic at times, to an extent that, if they where bigger, they could be dangerous. Whatever it takes to get them to grow up you have to do it. Some kids are just Assholes! When you have kids you'll find out, 😆

Kaloopa · Answer

I don't think so.

I grew up where corporal punishment was the norm and I am grateful for it. It taught me
a lesson.

Today the youth get away with everything and its all a fat joke. When they see the repercussions are are so low and the parents are pretty much defenceless.

I have around 8 friends who kids have never had a spanking or any sort of punishment because
its not allowed grow up to be little over sensitive brats who simply get there way by screaming and slamming doors.

Later in life you left with a young adult that thinks the world just going to give everything he
wants. Often this does not end up well and now you have a depressed spoilt adult
that can't cope in the real world.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

Yess, spanking causes long term psychological damage. It also makes your child more likely to put up with domestic abuse in the future or even be the abuser. It is child abuse.

alice55 · Answer

Outdated I don't know but it certainly doesn't do anything good and just teach children that strong people can do whatever they want to smaller / weaker people. It's no wonder there's so many bullying in school...

In my country it's officially illegal to hit children but everybody do it and police don't give a shit.

JmiW000 · Answer

I was spanked a lot when I was a kid... I turned out OK, I guess..

The most important thing to remember is the child is being punished for something they did wrong, they need to know that. Parents should tell them the reason why the child is spanked.

Never treat the kids like a punching bag or a way to vent your frustration.

TodsShadow · Answer

No spanking is necessary not to be confused with the abusive disciplining that ends up scarring a child. Spanking should never be a prolonged experience. It's meant to show a consequence whenever other methods don't work. You'd tell your child to defend themselves against bullies right? Well let's raise our kids not to be a bully. Talk to them. Make sure your setting the example for them. When the mess up talk to them. Get them to understand your words. Only when the behavior becomes consistent, then spanking I believe is necessary. I was spanked maybe 9 times my whole life. Each of the things I was spanked for never repeated again afterwards. My parents showed me the example and talked with me a lot about how to treat people and others things.

Mofunfour20 · Answer

Id rather use monotony or boredom as a punishment. Hitting a child would imply that you're communication skills are terrible. Take their tablet cellphone. Have them write lines. Stand in the corner. If they keep misbehaving no candy or anything with sugar. If you only reward good behavior you'll always be able to get some respect. Life has consequences for decisions

cloud9vortex1234 · Answer

There are situations I've seen personally as a kid where spanking was taken way too far. One such instance involving my friend. His mom would take it to Abusive Levels. I literally felt sorry for him. It wasn't the spanking that was the problem from my point of view. The problem was his mom was crazy. She probably would have went to jail for abuse if there were Cell Phone Cameras back then (if I filmed it and uploaded it). Internet was in its infancy at that time, Cell Phones were big and bulky, and there definitely wasn't any Cell Phone Cameras. No wonder she was single.

BareNecessary · Answer

There's a time for it but shouldn't be a go to as it usually is for a lot of typical families. I say it bypasses too many words that should be said and to me shows the parent is more incapable. there's a respect factor that shouldn't have to be met by a belt or any act of violence. Stern voice and strict understanding with consequences that are more than just taking a phone or game away. Get the respect and understanding down and a point of self motivated progression and they'll be on a much better path

tatianamay · Answer

I don't get spanked, I get beaten up with hands, my dad's belt, tv remotes, combs and wooden spatulas lmfao. It's Indian parents y'all chill. It's common here

EmbraceThePain · Answer

I think the vast majority of people doing this, are doing it out of emotion/anger and don’t really know the science or methodology of this as it relates to effectiveness in disciplining children. In other words, if these people are successful in what they are doing to accomplish a certain goal, then they are successful by luck and chance rather than actually thinking about what they are doing to provide for an intelligent or deliberate outcome.

iseekpinetrees · Answer

Nope. I do it. I had it done to me growing up and I came out fine. And my mom grew up abused by her dad because he would beat her. So there's a definite difference in the reasoning why to spank your kid. I wasn't a bad kid or a wild child I was pretty smart and calm.

Do you believe spanking children is an outdated way of discipline? (Page 2)

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.