Do you think we should abolish therapy for men?

[TonightYouu]

If you’re a man you just gotta deal with that shit ya know

jack daniels exist for a reason

“what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”

[Sixgunsound]

The latest edition of the DSM has affectively barred men from seeking therapy by making masculinity a disease. If simply by presenting as male you have mental health problems that bar you from practicing some trades exercising some rights seeing or keeping your children etc., it’s not difficult to see why men aren’t breaking down the doors of psychology clinics.

[Snakeyes7]

If all the therapists are going to tell them that it is their own fault that they want to kill themselves then yes, that's essentially what toxic masculinity is.

[Jenny-Marie]

Therapists don't apportion blame, they guide and help the patient organise their own thoughts.

[Snakeyes7]

@Jenny-Marie When you get the premise of the treatment wrong, you don't make any change or make the situation worse. That's like failing an exam before entering the testing room.

[Jenny-Marie]

The basic treatment is really the same, so generally the premise can't be wrong. It's not a cure in the way medication can be. It's literally just a way of guiding to examine your own thoughts. Often, once a person opens their mind to root causes, they can slowly adjust and move on. It has to be from within. I'm not talking about celebrity fashion therapy, I'm talking about the real deal.

[Snakeyes7]

@Jenny-Marie You're putting the life of a human being in the hands of the idea that that individual, all the men that exist now as well as the ones who existed before them created a society that opresses women (patriarchy) and now they are in therapy for it *somehow* backfiring.

Instead of acknowledging that this makes no logical sense, as men suffering in a society that is designed to privilege them is a contradiction, and treating them as a matter of their individual circumstances, you treat them on the basis of their gender.

You are essentially telling them, men who have the desire to end their own life because they perceive themselves to be burdensome to others, that they are responsible for their own suffering as well as the others around them. What the hell do you think that is going to do?

[TonightYouu]

Im convinced he just hates responsibility and accepting his autonomy we are literally the only ones in control of our faith life is a series of never ending choices I don’t care what anybody says depression is a choice and so is happiness

[Snakeyes7]

@tonightyouu You're technically right. Sure, depression is a fixable issue but not many know how to fix it. Some can be so stricken with grief that they trick themselves into thinking that they have invested so much of their identity into whatever or whoever they lost to be willing to accept any replacement or that they have no replacement available. Maybe they never understood what acceptance is because growing up they were neglected by everyone including their parents.

If most of someone's life was constant suffering, I can't blame them for being so nihilistic.

[MzAsh]

No. Too many men “dealing with shit on their own” are turning to alcohol, drugs, porn, violence, and suicide. They need help.

[Jenny-Marie]

No, I don't. I've just researched suicide rates for the UK and US. I chose 2017 which was before covid, but the rate is fairly stable since 1990. The figures are per 100,000 population

UK Male 11.43 Female 3.35

US Male 20.27 Female 5.73

Looking at the rates, we males need all the help we can get. I have no idea why the US rate is so much higher for both genders. I haven't looked into that or ethnic influences if any and I haven't researched the method in each country, i. e pills, guns, knives etc.

I was shocked by the difference between genders.

[TonightYouu]

How do you help someone who won’t help themselves

[TonightYouu]

Theirselves

[Jenny-Marie]

Counselling is a skill. The idea is not to tell people what to do, but to concentrate their thoughts so that they can work towards a resolution. Often the freedom to speak without being judged goes a long way. Sometimes we get bogged down by trivia when in fact all we need to do is organise our thoughts. If someone voluntarily seeks help, they are taking the 1st step to helping themselves.

[TonightYouu]

Okay so from what you’re saying only irresponsible people need therapy this is why our society it’s so soft now everyone needs their hand held even for shit that they know they need to do everyone has problems and everyone knows how to solve those problems but people today are lazy adult babies who don’t want to put in the work and take action to have control over their circumstances

Men don’t need to talk we need results we want our problems to be solved talking will not do that all it does is waste time that could’ve been spent fixing it yourself because when you get done with therapy you’re still going to need to take action to change your situation

Its great for women women love to talk especially about their problems the fucking love it but for men no if most men were asked would you like to talk about your problems or work to fix your problems? which do you think most men would pick?

[Oigit]

It's easy to say it should be when you have not seen or been through something seriously screwed up. Also a weak person will drink and drug their issues away. A strong person will get help for them. Because the simple truth is that you have to completely face and accept something in order to get over it. I learned that after going through therapy to deal with my screwed up childhood. One that included being kidnapped and molested.

[TonightYouu]

You didn’t need therapy for that you already knew that

[Oigit]

Nope I needed therapy. Because the truth is with trauma especially childhood trauma is that you never really deal with it on your own. What happens in that the mental and emotional trauma gets buried in our subconscious. Also extreme trauma as a child can really screw up your development of your mental and emotional coping abilities. So the trauma sits in your subconscious and due to you not having the coping skills to deal with it, you can start having serious issues if and more then likely when that trauma starts to jump into your conscious.

Basically I had to go through therapy to develop the coping skills I never had, bring everything into my conscious and work through it. I did a lot of EMDR therapy and that's the same therapy that is used to help solders with their PSTD from combat. Because there are a lot of parallels between childhood trama and that.

I think there is a big problem though. People will self diagnose themselves with a mental health issues for various reasons. It's like it's fashionable to have one or a badge of honor that you and doctor google says you have A. So people manufacture mental health issues. But of course that creates issues for people with actual mental health issues. So they are doing themselves and others a huge disservice by doing so. Also I think this transgender phase is a great example of this as well. I know that won't gain me any social points, but I'm not one to shy away from being honest.

[SeriouslyFunny00]

Your memes are so funny. 😂 Anyways no, anyone who needs therapy must take therapy. Don't deal with it yourself just because you're a man. You're human, you feel things. Take care! 🙆🏻‍♀️

[TonightYouu]

Do you not believe what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger

[TonightYouu]

As men we deal with our emotions completely different not like women

[richgentlem4n]

Younger female knows more about us than you and you're calling yourself a man already? Grow up and go to school toddler @tonightyouu

[TonightYouu]

@richgentlem4n never said we don’t have feelings we just deal with them differently

[Jenny-Marie]

No, what won't kill us can and does, still destroy us. Alcohol won't help, it's an addictive depressant. Substances tend to cause paranoia and addle the brain. Never be ashamed to ask for help.

[Guy13]

No therapy. Girls do therapy

[Subarugirl]

And people wonder why there is a mental health crisis right now…. Therapy is for everyone and anyone who has the balls to actually try to better themselves

[TonightYouu]

@Subarugirl no there is a mental health crisis because of the fatherless crisis fathers who will toughen their sons up and guide them through life hardships therapy is for women men need solutions not talking

[Subarugirl]

Then those men should be fathers instead of abandoning their children….

[TonightYouu]

@Subarugirl smh still blaming men but the most important task of a moral society is to make sure boys grow up to be good men how can you expect the fatherless to be fathers themselves

[Guy13]

Therapy…Women incessant need to control everyone and everything. And they wonder why they can’t get a guy. That Personality SUCKS and KNOW IT ALL Ladies NEED THERAPY ‼️

[TonightYouu]

You they don’t understand that men don’t deal with our emotions and problems the same way they do

There isn’t a woman on this earth who would be attracted to a man who needs as much emotional support and validation as her there is nothing worst than a whiny man who breaks down and cries everytime life gets hard

@Subarugirl I’m sure even you can admit a man who came to you all the time looking for you to solve his problems would be extremely unattractive you’d think what the fuck his wrong with this guy and would feel like his mom not his spouse

[Subarugirl]

You have no idea what therapy is do you? Therapists can’t get romantically involved with their patients it’s illegal

[TonightYouu]

@Subarugirl and 21 yr old guys can’t have sex with 16 yr old girls but it still happens

[Subarugirl]

two wrongs dont make a right...

[TonightYouu]

And two rights make a left

[Subarugirl]

You need therapy

[TonightYouu]

@Subarugirl project much?

[Subarugirl]

I've been to therapy and it is beneficial, so actually Im speaking from experience.

[TonightYouu]

Of course it’s beneficial you’re a woman y'all love to talk especially about your problems

[Subarugirl]

Actually it was beneficial because I was sexually assaulted when I was 7...

[Jenny-Marie]

@Subarugirl read the stats in my 1st reply to this question, itshould prove something.

[Jamie05rhs]

Oh, right. So just make more school shooters. Yeah, that sounds like a great plan. 🙄

[TonightYouu]

So you would rather talk about your problems or do the work yourself to fix them?

[LimitedBenefits101]

Therapy is for feminist.

[OddBeMe]

And this is why we commit 90% of the violent crime.

[TonightYouu]

Right because having someone listen to you talk solves all your problems not actual solutions and taking care of business

You’re either trolling or very privileged

[Jenny-Marie]

It doesn't solve all problems, but it helps prioritise and put them into perspective. I'm certainly not privileged and I would definitely not troll, especially if mental health is an issue. I've been there, crying my eyes out with a pot of pills in front of me. It's only because of a fortuitous phone call that I'm still here.

[TonightYouu]

@Jenny-Marie if you are a male Who cannot prioritize and take control of your own life you are an irresponsible man-child

[Jenny-Marie]

Possibly. Tell that to the relatives of the 20 men in every 100,000 who commit suicide. Tell it to the emergency workers who have to clean up the shit and brains of the 8 in every 100,000 males who blow their brains out with firearms. That equates to about 45,000 gun suicides a year, 99% of them male EVERY YEAR.

[TonightYouu]

@Jenny-Marie show me a depressed man and I’ll show you a man who is self centered full of self pity and not taking accountability

[OddBeMe]

This idea that men have to be tough and in control is toxic…toxic masculinity.

[TonightYouu]

What’s toxic about having control over one’s circumstances

[OddBeMe]

you're abolishing all men’s access to therapy, if I may clue you back to the OP…

[Anonymous]

Interesting feminist take there buddy, a key part of the KAM movement

[TonightYouu]

Take responsibility for your circumstances talking won’t solve it take control

[Jennz6]

No, men need therapy and more.

[NamerOfStars]

... are you insane?

[TonightYouu]

No im a real man

[NamerOfStars]

Calling for needless suffering and ending a form of relief? Maybe you should focus less on being "real" atd more on being "good".

[TonightYouu]

No! more people should be real because reality is real , brutal and unavoidable women talk men take action

[NamerOfStars]

Yes, the world IS brutal, and yes, men DO take action, and the entire point of most of those actions was to make the world LESS brutal. You'd have us undo that, spitting in thebface of the struggles and sacrifices of prior generations.

[TonightYouu]

Wym how would men dealing with their problems be undoing what previous generations did?

[TonightYouu]

Instead of making the world less brutal you should prepare yourself for it or are you just against self improvement because it requires hardwork?

[NamerOfStars]

Therapy IS "dealing with your probelms"- why do you think poople do it? The primary social difference between us and the chimps is that our adult males *cooperate*, on a scale totally unseen in the rest ef the primate family- and's that's what therapy is; sitting down and talking your problems through with someone else, to get an outsider's purspective and figure out how to fix them.

Drinking and exercising don't solve anything; they're just running away from your problems. That makes you WEAKER and LESS able to deal with other issues.

[TonightYouu]

The problem with that is most people already know what they need to do therapy is a literal waste of time for men sitting down and talking about problems never solves them did you see the pursuit of happiness? Did he go to therapy or get his ass up everyday and take care of business past generations did much better than us because they didn’t whine cry and talk about their problems they just sealed with them men need solutions not talking therapy is a very passive way to tackle life’s problems and by the way life will always have problems are you gonna go running to your therapist like a big baby everytime?

[NamerOfStars]

Past generations had rates of crippling alcoholism that DWARF anything me see today, and with a fraction of the population. They had higher rates of suicide, too.

We see moce now because past sufferings bought us the luxury of caring- which is WHY peopre endured; to make things better for those they cared about.

You're right, men need solutions. Therapy is to help them FIND solutions, but you say it shouldn't exist.

[TonightYouu]

What world do you live in where talking solves problems more efficiently than taking action and accountability

Men do not need therapy that’s not how we solve problems wasting time talking about it is time you could’ve spent actually doing something about it but it works for Women because that’s all they need to vent and have somebody listen to them and their problems women love doing that shit they fucking love talking it literally makes them feel better

We can talk all day but unless something is actually done nothing gets done nothing gets solved but people are so lazy today they’d rather take drugs to make them feel better than facing their problems head (which builds character by the way something modern society is sorely lacking) therapy is a another form of coddling enabling and pandering

[NamerOfStars]

So are you saying that wowen don't have any problems? Like I keep telling you, therapy is ONE STEP in solving problems; it's not the whole process. You can't drive to work if you eliminate the "start the car" step.

[TonightYouu]

So you want to live like a child humans are AUTONOMOUS beings we do no need to sit and talk or be told how to fix our problems because happiness mental health is 100% your choice

Everyone has problems and everyone knows how to solve those problems the problem is that most people don’t want to do what needs to be done to solve those problems most peoples problems are solved with common sense, diligence and responsibility

[TonightYouu]

If someone has a drinking problem and they go to therapy they’re going to tell you to stop drinking something you could’ve done your damn self

[NamerOfStars]

Autonomous? Are you joking? Tell me, could YOU replicate the code of this website? Design a core router to hold it? Build a machine to handle the packet switching that makes the internet possible? No. You'd be lucky to manage feeding yourself. But you've got some kind ef insecurity that makes you feel that YOU don't need to; that YOU don't have to live up to your own standards, or even maintain logical consistency. You're not insane; just stupid.

[TonightYouu]

I 100% could do that I have the time the knowledge at my disposal you just don’t like accountability or taking responsibility for your own circumstances im getting serious Peter Pan syndrome from you bud but it’s okay the joy is in the journey and you’ll grow up someday

[Anonymous]

Of course, not.

[TonightYouu]

Why not?

[Aerolyn]

Heck no.

[TonightYouu]

Why the heck not

[Aerolyn]

Because some things a man can't just deal with on his own.

Some dudes out here been through some traumatizing stuff and/or got some real deal mental issues going on.

You can't just say "man up" to everything.

Some things? Yeah, sure, I guess.

But not every darn thing.

[TonightYouu]

Im not saying we don’t need help everyone does from time to time but for 95% of a mans adult life he will not have the same support that a woman receives therapy solves nothing for us because that’s not how men deal with their problems talk is cheap but for women it’s all they need just to vent and get it out