Were you taught to say "I love you"?

[lightbulb27]

I just heard this in the context that "Chinese" persons aren't affectionate and weren't trained to say "I love you". Maybe it's more limited to that family and individuals, not cultures, but I wonder if true of others and if there's cultural limits.

Specifically to Chinese, I hear the term "luck" a lot and not love, faith, hope. That be for ones that have not heard or taught religion. That I've heard one explanation... stems from governmental abuses (Chairman Mao), but maybe deeper than that.

Obviously, it's not something school teaches unless you have a unique teacher.

I was taught to say "I love you"

No, I wasn't taught in family, I learned to say it

I don't say "I love you"

A total of 40 votes were cast: 19 girls and 21 guys. See detailed results

[xJeremyx]

What you said is absoulely true for older traditional chinese parents. They express their love through acts of service more often than anything. Particularly through cooking excessively, arranging tuition classes, etc. They believe they know best and sometimes force their child to do things without allowijg them to understand why.

But this is all done out of love for the child. Chinese fathers in particular have a very hard time expressing love to their children, due to the impression that fathers have to be strict, serious and somehow emotionless. I am glad however, that this is less so the case in younger chinese families, especially in westernised places. Parents, tell your children you love them. Even when they did something wrong that made you upset. Doing so will give them the confidence to admit wrongdoing, because they know you will still accept them.

[Lliam]

I heard people saying "I love you" in song and film all my life. But I never heard my parents say it to each other. And if my mom said it to me, I don't remember. I probably blew it off.

My parents were really nice and they demonstrated their love for me constantly. But for some reason, we weren't a touchy-feely family.

I was even totally unaccustomed to hugging before I got to high school. The first time a girl in 10th grade opened her arms to hug me in a friendly greeting, I flubbed it up because I didn't know how to do it. But after that first mistake, I learned.

I even avoided saying it to girlfriends because to do so felt like one step short of marriage. I didn't want to mislead anyone.
I guess some people say "I love you" because "I like you a LOT" isn't romantic.

[Cynicaldreamer]

I was not: probably why I'm so wary to say it to anyone. Not going to lie, I honestly can't remember the last time I said that to anyone.

Growing up, no one in my family said that, but rather it was implied in their actions-

Actions speak louder than words. I knew my parents loved me because of what they did for me, not just words.
Nowadays, when someone says "I love you," I ask what do they need or want, because it usually means they want something you, or it's said with little meaning. Show me you care; don't say it just because it seems like I'll like hearing it.

[lightbulb27]

you lack trust with that word then, interesting. maybe because wasn't demonstrated.
I cahllenge you to say this to people, in some small way...5 times over this next month.
start with animals... easier...

[Cynicaldreamer]

Oh, I do love animals, especially dogs!

... humans? Not so much. That might prove more challenging

[lightbulb27]

dogs are the best of humanity, mostly.
that's the idea, just find something and start there.

[Spunkychicka]

Animals just have this unconditional love vibe (well most of them)
Humans are just… ugh!

[Anonymous]

no one in my family ever said it when i was growing up, i think the first time i ever said it was to a friend and even then i found it incredibly awkward and said it in an almost jokey way, my mum's said it a few times in recent years but i could never say it back, and i've spoken about it with my sisters but in more of the typical sibling way of 'i love you but i don't like you', i have a few friends who say it after ending a call or after we go out and sometimes i say it back and other times not, i just find it really awkward, god knows what i'll do in a relationship lol

[exitseven]

I never heard my parents say it. I used to see people on TV say it and was not really sure if people really did that. The first time I did it was after I was going with a girl for more than two years. It was pretty intense too.

[lightbulb27]

vulnerability!! very cool.

[Cassie88]

I don't think I've ever said it to anyone ever. I guess I'm a cold fish.

[lightbulb27]

not said to you? say it somewhere else, start there:) find something worthy...

[Cassie88]

Nah, I can't be bothered, and just don't see the point.

[lightbulb27]

the point is about you, not others. You are thinking if you say something, you get something in return. When you give love, that is the reward. The problem in essence... your underlying source of inspiration, is not rooted right... yet.
Christ fixed that for me.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

More like I was taught to honestly & sincerely mean it if & when I say it.

[OfMiceandMen]

Nope, I learned all by myself. Felt it the first time when I was dating a fellow lifeguard.

[Anonymous]

she says it to every guy she's dated but never once said it to me in the 5 1/4 years i known her for

[lightbulb27]

maybe she's just too hurt to risk it again...

[Opinion Owner]

but not hurt enough to say it to every guy she's with but can't say it to me though after knowing me for 5 years that's a bunch of B. S.

[lightbulb27]

consider that may be about her not you. going to have to get into her psychology. she's probably afraid of intimacy and loss. Putting her heart where it would hurt more is difficult. If she suffered a big loss, that may make sense. try to figure it out rather than just be hurt.

[Paul09]

I love my parents, and I always say goodbye and I love to both. Shows that all they have done for me , I am very grateful for. Heck I've said it to my very close friends once in awhile.

[Jamie05rhs]

I was taught to only say "I love you" if you actually mean it.

[Nikki1989]

I didn't hear the words I love you till I was 12 years old, and that came from my first boyfriend.

[LiamJHayden]

No, but my grandma like the song.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/p80BEHcTnxk

[Cheerfull009]

I was taught by my parents and teachers to love everyone

[Agape93]

Nope. I learned all in my own.

[Wise4myage]

No. I learned on my own, lol.

[fonduegirl]

Asian parents focus on tough love

[TrillXHippy]

Nope not at all

[SnowedIn]

Hell no.

[headphonekim]

no i was taught to say thank you