Why do I fail where my best friend succeeded?

sorry guys I've been down lately and so me and my best friend have been close for almost ten years now but i haven't spoken to him in over a year. The reason why us because we both went to the same church and had the same dreams. However, he is 6'4, very attractive and all the women love him. He has had two kids from two different women and now has two more on the way by the woman he is with now engaged too. However, i am 5'5 fat and short, i used to be skinny and mildly attractive, but has never been in a relationship and im bisexual. I haven't spoken to him in a year is because i noticed that i started comparing myself to him when i was around him a lot and i noticed how people treat me differently compared to him especially from women and my former church. You see when i was going through alcoholism four years ago, my church and society kicked me out, and condemned and criticized me for being single and living at home with my parents. Yet fast forward four years later, the same people that critized me, celebrated and went to his baby shower for having a kid outside of marriage and they drank alcohol even my friend. People were willing to help him get jobs and i know for a fact he lied on his resume a couple of times and is now financially succesful and has his own house. This makes me feel very bitter about myself because of what i went through im in debt feom school and loans, and living with my parents and still single and by old word standards i would be an outcast. Im currently going to therapy and having a hard time getting a decent minimum wage job to pay for my loans. I am not blamong anyone for my decisions good or bad, i just am very bitter and resentful at the commubity that claims to not judge has judged me, yet celebrated him and by moral standards he broke the big sin of having a kid outside of marriage, let alone having sex outside of marriage. I followed the rules and still stayed poor and he did everything wrong wnd is successful.

Why do I fail where my best friend succeeded?
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