What can I do to stop drowning in rent and bills? How are you all surviving rn?

[Anonymous]

For about 3 months I’ve been struggling financially. I believe it’s because of inflation. I work 6 days a week 12hr shifts as a CNA and I only really get to spend one day with my daughter who’s 5 years old… daycare is basically raising her at this point..

I am also bipolar and haven’t been able to afford my meds for about 2 months. My mental health is deteriorating more and more as a result. I have zero patience for my patients at a LTC facility. Most of them don’t even need to be there and are med seeking/addicts which pisses me off even more cause I am literally being treated like shit and a slave by people who don’t even need my physical help. Everyday I am closer and closer to quitting. I feel so lost rn and even looking up if my daughter would still get life insurance if something happened to me by my hand..

I am considering taking out a loan in order to get out of this hole and just paying the loan off when I get my taxes (I get back usually 9k).. but I know that in the long run, that’ll do me more harm. How are you all surviving right now? I do not qualify for food stamps, Medicaid, or even childcare assistance because I make $150 dollars more than the limit for 2 people.

[LazerBean]

Only shop at thrifty stores, and only eat rice and beans (aside from whatever meat, fruits, and vegetables your kid needs) until you've gotten out of your rut. We are living off of one income just fine, but we also don't have to pay for childcare. Get onto a strict budget and stick to it.

[Anonymous]

So let me start by asking where is your daughter’s father? Isn’t he helping w her? Can you work nights? No family who can help w your daughter? I work as a NA as well but other than my car payment everything is taken care of. May I ask what you make hourly?

[Asker]

He just recently got out of jail and is living in a weekly hotel. He picks her up one day on the weekend even though we share 50/50 custody. He also doesn’t pay me child support despite being ordered to pay $89 a month. I make $19 an hour.

My family are struggling themselves rn except my older sister just moved to my state and makes about 20k a month (I’ve seen it) give or take (she’s an escort and does only fans) she said she will help me when she can but she’s still adjusting to the changes (no longer has her regulars) .. unfortunately, she does live an hour away from me so I can’t just drop off my daughter every day (my brother lives with her and helps her with our niece)

My job offers daily pay and I have been having to take money out of my rent check to pay my bills and my bill check to pay my rent

[Asker]

Not to mention the fact that I had to leave work early yesterday cause my daughter was coughing up blood. Had to take her to the ER… won’t be able to afford that bill. I can’t pay both my car insurance and my car note anymore just for leaving work early. I wasn’t struggling when I didn’t have this car note/increased insurance (my old car had a bent frame from an accident, wasn’t my fault)

[Opinion Owner]

So would it be possible to live closer to your sister? I mean if she makes that much she should be able to help you move. Honestly sounds as though she doesn’t really budget her money right if she’s making that much a month but can’t help you right now because she doesn’t have her “regulars.” What about a new job near her. I work for the VA, work nights, make about $26 an hour. We do 12 hour shifts w one eight, 7 days off every two weeks. Why was he in jail? Wow I just realized your age category. I thought you were in your 20s or something.

[Asker]

She just spent well over 10k to move from Cali to Nevada. She lives in a 4bd 3ba house and her rent here is 3.4k a month. She had to pay first, last and security deposit on top of movers to load up her truck and to also rent the truck. Then she had to get a plane ticket back to Cali so she could go pick up her car that needed new tires. She would often use Turo while her car was broken down and use that vehicle for months at a time which is thousands and to avoid putting mileage on her car (she travels for work as well).. it’s also not my money so I don’t feel comfortable pressing the issue while knowing all of this.

He went to jail because he beat his girlfriend.

[Asker]

Also, my age is irrelevant…

[Asker]

And no he doesn’t help with her. Not with clothes, taking her when he’s supposed to have her which would make childcare cost me less and I might not be drowning as bad. I don’t press the issue because the girlfriend also beats on him and they fight and argue around my daughter not to mention the fact that she’s talked shit about my daughter and I.. it gave me the feeling she’s the type to abuse or even kill my kid..

[Opinion Owner]

Ok so I don’t even get how you would end up w someone like this. To get pregnant by some dude who doesn’t seem like he deserves to be on the face of this earth. I honestly don’t even get why he gets to see her once a week. He doesn’t do a damn thing. I’ve never been about that as far as women keeping their kids from their dad, but in your situation I’d say it’s ok. Unless something dramatic happens I feel as though you will be in this situation for a long time. You don’t have time to work another job. You’re already stretched to the limit. Are you dating someone? I don’t think you are seeing as how busy you are. I could be wrong.

[Asker]

Let’s see.. I was 22 when I first met him… was with him for 7 years before I left him. No I’m not dating and I’ve been celibate for years. I have broken the court order and withheld my daughter before. That really pissed the judge off but he could not do anything about it because cps was involved and they threatened to take my daughter from me if I didn’t withhold her from him. I had temporary some custody of her for 6 months. He completed classes and showed up at supervised visits and regained his 50/50 custody. Back then, my mom was able to help my by paying for a lawyer. I do not have the ability to pay for a lawyer or I would be back in court. I have tried to get pro bono but I was denied because they usually only work with child abuse cases and my case was deemed not serious enough.

[Asker]

Sole custody**

[Opinion Owner]

So if this was happening to your sister what would you tell her?

[Asker]

I’d tell her to move in with me til she got back on her feet

[Opinion Owner]

How much do you make as an NA? No chance of going back to school?

[Asker]

I make $19 an hour. I was supposed to get my LPN and start school this month in the 5th… can’t attend because I have to work..

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sorry to hear that. It’s going to be hard till your sister arrives. I don’t think it’s even possible to work a part-time job.

[Asker]

My sister is already here. And she is asking me to do all kinds of things with her knowing I don’t have the income to do it… such as take my daughter to the pumpkin patch.. WHY ASK and you KNOW I can’t afford it. I don’t think she plans to help me like she said she would. She’s always been in competition with everyone and enjoys to see my daughter and I struggle. Fuckin over life tbh. Sick of this shit.

[historectomy]

when i was near destitute, my saving grace was ramen, rice, and potatoes, you can make decent meals outta that they are pretty cheap

[Iron_Man]

It’s been really tough I have an underground water leak , my property, taxes, doubled, etc. etc.

[Anonymous]

Doordash on the side.

[Asker]

Door dash to essentially pay for gas?

[Asker]

I said I work 6 days a week..

[Opinion Owner]

So do I. Do it for two hours after work and 12 hours on your day off. Take your daughter with you on your day off. She will love it.

[Asker]

Yeah I’d prob do it if I was still on my meds not possible for me mentally rn. And no she wouldn’t like that.

[Opinion Owner]

Get the Dasher Direct debit card and get paid daily. Dash around for two hours after work and after gas you can easily make $25-$30.00. Just that will give you an extra $600 per month. Throw in your day off and now you're making $1,200 extra per month.

[jahaims]

Make better choices.

[Asker]

Suck a dick.

[jahaims]

Nah, I don't make poor choices like you.