Do you think there are positive aspects to arranged marriages for the people involved and the society that practices it?

[Anonymous]

A cowboy’s perspective:

I recently got reacquainted with an Indian guy that I know from my small hometown, Which is weird because it’s a cowboy town in the middle of wilderness (just Barely the kind rich people want to hunt Not quite Rocky Mountain levels of scenery Unless you know someone and know the place). Anyways, I’ve been all over the world and I come from a place where the people are either wild and isolated or socially trad-conservative and isolated. I saw extreme forms of family dynamics that I would consider fatherless-free spirited tumultuous or trad nuclear family kids work on the farm with dad while mom homeschools and takes care of the home types.

Indians that own the hotels in the small towns have blended in well here. So I saw my friend and suddenly he’s married in his late 20s pushing 30 and she is around 21. It was more of a set up between rich families who put a line out there and basic information pictures and contact info, so it was more encouraged and financially incentivized by the families instead of enforced.

They are good people and they aren’t afraid of getting their hands dirty and treating most people (poor or rich) with respect and dignity, they’ve abandoned aspects of their religion like the concept of untouchable people, as far as I know.

I studied how the new couple interacted and I was happy for them. They seem humble and to not take the business nor their relationship for granted and understand how blessed they are to have their families connect them. I was a bit jealous having seen so many bad stories from my time in the infantry to stories on this beautiful cattle riddled isolated cowboy wasteland. So many broken families and kids usually end up without their biological dad, family businesses and small towns just dying. I myself lost my kids in my early 20s. If I have more kids I’d want to set them up as well. To vet their partners etc. I too have a family business and no heirs at the moment.

Updates

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I want to add that the reason I think they are more positive is out of love not financial reasons. I want my kids to be safe, to have what they need and my grandkids too. These disney ideas of romance are like the tale of the prodigal’s son but completely backwards. Its unrealistic
What do you think about arranged marriages? Young people aren’t even marrying at all these days, only the rich ones and guess what? Even those usually fail before the kids are even in high school

[Anonymous]

nope, I don’t think so at all. I actually had a friend who was in an arranged marriage marriage. He was Indian. he was very miserable and never really loved his wife. He ended up cheating on her which she told me about and fell in love with a Filipino girl and dumped and divorced his Indian wife that his parents forced him and now he has a family with this Filipino girl and they’re married and he’s very happy he goes. I rather marry somebody. I’m in love with. and he did. so no I don’t believe in arranged marriages. I don’t think there’s anything good in them. What if you’re not attracted to the person when if you don’t like the person person, it’s not your type you don’t like their personality people should marry for love, not getting arranged marriage, just to be married.

[fonduegirl]

For sure!

Many individuals have security reasons for engaging in it

[RebelinSteel]

It’s when you look at the full story for these, the honour killings, the actually being forced part, the lack of consent, yes there will be some that work but just watching the news etc shows how many go wrong.

[Cheerfull009]

It depends on the society and culture , same in Afghanistan

[RebelinSteel]

@Cheerfull009 all those that have arranged marriages suffer the same thing, it is removing choice from a persons life, saying they pretty much MUST do this and making sure the impact of saying no is stated and how it is their responsibility.

[Cheerfull009]

@rebelinsteel, bro, there is difference between forced Marriage, but in arranged marriage , both partners is given chance to know each other, talk and know the views of each other, if they satisfied and feel that thay are suitable match, then they inform their parents, then Engagement is planned , both partners propose each in front of parents and relatives and put rings to each other's hands, this engagement can run till both parties are prepared for wedding ceremony, after marriage both partners live as husband and wife. during engagement period , if some partner know some defects in each other , then can cancel this engagement , and search other partner,
according to your culture boy and girl live with each other and live as husband, but in this relationship period , if they are not satisfied with each other they break off, and follow the concept of :fuck and dump:

[RebelinSteel]

@Cheerfull009 I am fully aware of the differences, I am also aware of the nuances of arranged. With arranged there is a carrot and a stick, richer family needs their ugly no hope son married they then go over the cash side of the benefits of the pretty girl marrying their ugly no hope son. The reserves also applies, however both have that entire ‘if you don’t marry we don’t get this cash’ or other benefits. There is a level of social engineering going on and at times emotional blackmail or other ways for the family to explain why it must happen.
No matter how you dress it, there is often no real choice, the stick comes into play with the dumping.

[Asker]

Both of the people I knew and talked about here were attractive.
However I will tell you young attractive women (or even avg. looking) aren’t marrying today because they have thousands of choices any hour any minute because of social media and the rise of delusional Simps that somehow have money, get message from anyone from all over their country or the world.

This is causing monopolization of industries because family businesses are dying along with their bloodlines.

[Cheerfull009]

That is called forced marriage, the choice of the partners are not considered, but mind that it is not common practice, only fewer that is in some countries,

[Cheerfull009]

@oncewildtwiceburned, that is not in some countries, culture and society, it is there , but in liberal families but conservative and families with some principles , never do this

[Cheerfull009]

Mostly arranged marriages are successful in eastern society

[WhitneySnow]

I would not want an arranged marriage, but I know friends for whom that is expected to them and they have no problem with it. I think it can have positive aspects as long as it is not forced and the two people involved grow to love each other.

On the other hand, I also have friends for whom this is expected and they absolutely hate it. So my endorsement is not unqualified.

[WhitneySnow]

My parents have money and their marriage is basically a failure. Though they do have their good moments and they do love us.

[Cheerfull009]

Arranged but not forced, I prefer this

[Cheerfull009]

It is your choice and your observation, but other may not follow you

[WhitneySnow]

@Cheerfull009 that’s fine. I’m just saying that some people I know who are expected to do an arranged marriage love the idea and others hate it.

[Cheerfull009]

@WhitneySnow, Your parents have failed marriage but still they have good moments, what a logic?

[strateguy632]

No way, because the risk of authority corrupted parents is too real.

People need to get to know their dates not by arranged.