Budget crises are nothing new for New York City. Though the city has come a long way since the 1970s, when it was over $400 million in debt and required state and federal intervention, New York has been in the red for the past three years. Current projections suggest a surplus for 2026, but it's going to require precise management of city funds to avoid squandering it.
With that in mind, it's time we ask ourselves the obvious question: Is a far-left communist Muslim terrorist the answer to managing the city's money properly?
Enter Zohran Mamdani, who can almost bench press 135 pounds. He plans to completely exhaust New York's $115.9 billion budget by introducing a bevy of socialist policies, which is exactly what this city needs.
Mamdani's bold new vision for New York City includes:
*Initiate a rent freeze
*Build 200,000 permanently affordable housing units
*Provide universal child care
*Eliminate tuition fees at public colleges
*Eliminate all fees for the public bus system and freeze subway fares
*Completely revolutionize the streets with car-free zones that make it even harder to travel across the city
*Develop city-owned grocery stores
*Require landlords to maintain specific indoor temperatures — or else
*Create a dedicated city office for the LGBTQ community
*Fund gender-affirming care
*Provide free legal aid to illegal aliens
This all may sound like a lot, but Mamdani also plans to raise taxes. True, it may not be possible for a mayor to single-handedly raise taxes on his own without support from other city officials, but he assures us it's a done deal because he dreamed about it one night.
And we believe him.
If anyone had told us 20 years ago that electing a radical communist Muslim born in Uganda was the best path to a bright future for New York, we would have told them they were crazy.
Well, now they are right. And probably crazy.

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