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Let's get myself banned while we're at it. This site is boring now. But I don't see how someone can say 'retard' is so offensive to learning-disabled people when I grew up in the 80s and my learning-disabled friends used that word too. And we weren't directing it to people when we said, "That movie was retarded."
The word has Latin origins long predating mental illness. It meant to "hinder, delay" as we use for "paint retarder" and "fire retardant". I never used this word to mean ill for mentally disabled people. Suddenly it's like I'm a KKK Imperial Wizard because I said, "That idea is retarded."
I don't understand how we're suppose to sustain all these changes in society. "Men can get pregnant too." Me: "How's that supposed to be sustainable?" I'm totally cool with calling a transwoman a "she" and transman a "he" but "men can get pregnant too" is a lot all a sudden. How am I supposed to read Shakespeare now? Or take "Latinx" and "Amigue" for Spanish speakers.
We're just supposed to adapt to this now when all our books, movies, our entire history, doesn't operate like this? We just throw a million dependencies way to this legacy code? In my experience as a software engineer, that is a recipe for failure.
So anyway, more of a rant than a Q. Since we can't even do MyTakes now. But why's 'retard' supposed to be offensive all of a sudden, and how do you think it improves society to deem it so in a world of the entirety of English speakers, including ones like me who learned English starting in Japan?
Why is “retard” now considered offensive to people with intellectual disabilities?
Updates
6 h
For people who think this word is so offensive all of a sudden, would you put Mike Judge up there making cartoons and movies up there with a hate monger? What is a Japanese teenager supposed to think when they watch "Beavis & Butthead" and hear that word? And what are you aiming to do about it if they think it's okay to use this word on the internet?
Updates
6 h
Shouldn't intention and malice be the driving force of what is truly offensive in a globally-connected society? It should be offensive to call even a learning disabled person an "idiot" or a person who can't speak "dumb". I will stand beside those and call those bullying them an "asshole". But it doesn't make sense to me to pick on people saying, "That movie was retarded."
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
4Opinion
Most people have a strong desire to belong; to “fit in”. The feeling of being “different” can be isolating. For people with mild to moderate developmental disabilities, words like “retarded” carry an “other” connotation. You can probably still get away with it with severely disabled people, except for the social justice warriors who will be angry with you on their behalf.
https://youtube.com/shorts/qZC8UIQRvTs?is=QY1233sMBsHgz9cUOne of my favorite things to do to people is say mean things to their very young kids and pets in a bouncy, coochie-coo voice. The parents always get bent out of shape because they understand the meaning of the words, but the kids and animals are only responding to the tone of my voice.
It’s proof that WE give words their meaning, and if you don’t want to be offended then that’s a choice YOU have to make.
Salma Hayek talked about it similarly.
Words are just words. You can’t offend someone who refuses to be offended and you can’t avoid offending someone who insists on being offended.
I think I agree with this! I want to distinguish malicious intent though. Say someone says, "That movie was retarded." I cannot detect any hate or maliciousness here towards anyone disabled. But suppose someone said to a disabled person without using any of these words: "You are a weak, pathetic excuse for a human being." Then fuck that pedophile n*ger f*got dicksucking ass-over-bending shit-faced bully. Because he is malicious. He meant to do harm. But not people saying, "That movie was retarded."
You’re conflating being rude with just being vulgar. You’re not going to hurt my feelings, but if you can’t express yourself without being vulgar then i don’t care to be around you. I don’t know many people who would; not adults anyway.
I don't know what being vulgar is anymore. How vulgar am I using "actress"?
What harm have I intended to you that you can point out? You are only refusing to talk to me because of a Japanese man's choice of words in a language which wasn't his first?
Let's battle then. Fists will decide. I am tired of the landmines of this language. English is a perilous language. I thought only woman can get pregnant according to your language. Now it's hate speech. I cannot keep up. So I am tired of learning and keeping up with your language. Let us fight. Strong in fist and honor.
I actually work with very disabled kids. Not by choice but just by accident. And I'm gonna tell you this: none of you knows how much money and work and labor goes into raising a kid with disabilities. By disabilites, I don't mean a kid with a broken leg and is temporarily in a wheelchair. I'm talking about the kids who literally can't talk, walk, or understand anything, can't even eat, have so many illnesses and diseases that they need 24/7 hired help, been through 5-10 surgeries throughout their lifetimes, taking 8-20 different medications a day just to stay alive, kids who can't breathe without a suction machine, constant doctor visits, wheelchairs, all sorts of medical equipment.
It costs millions to sustain 1 kid's life throughout it's lifetime and this life does absolutely nothing.
This one kid that I currently care for... his annual school tuition is 212k. This shit should be illegal.
One of the reasons why america is going to hell is because they are wasting millions on lives that will produce absolutely nothing for society. Meanwhile everyone else starves cuz food is too expensive to buy
And by the way, the parents are usually sick of caring for these kids too but they just dont have the heart to do away with them. These kids need 24/7 care, meaning someone has to WATCH them at all times since they can't be left alone. Hiring nurses, home health aides, babysitters. you name it. The burn out is real
We could definitely treat them nicer. But is it a truly nicer treatment for their long-term well-being to suddenly decide this word is so offensive, even to them alone, if Beavis & Butthead, or the teen Netflix movie that came out last year, is now hate speech towards them because they said, "That music sucked. It was retarded," is now supposed to be targeting them when the writers and speakers did not mean it so?
I agree that's not ok to say. Retarded should never be used as an insult. But I think we need a major overhaul to our medicaid program. Spending millions on a life that produces nothing isn't right.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not insensitive to the target demographic. It's like I'm saying Little People should be happy and the nice ones our best friends. I'm just saying Tolkien wasn't making fun of LPs when he wrote about Hobbits and Dwarves, so to speak. I want defend both Tolkien and LPs. I'm saying, "Tolkien wasn't making fun of you."
Wait, I lost you at a moment. I misinterpreted your notion of "it isn't right" to mean we need better funding and care (I got too tunnel-visioned for a moment; my bad). You mean something different? We have to take care of these people, no?
@guyanswersgirls123
I think the government should stop paying. The parent should start paying. And you're not gonna understand how hard it is to sustain these lives because you aren't the on waking up every hour in the middle of the night to suction them.
I'm admittedly blind-sighted to this issue you raised. And lack the experience you have. That was a bit different from the point I was hoping to make about this R-word in many contexts not meaning to offend people with learning disabilities. It is impossible over the internet but I would like to learn this more in a scenario where you could teach me.
There is a economics issue there with perverse incentives where such children are abandoned and left to public care because the parents lack disincentives to do so?
because no one should bear the consequences for saving the life of a disabled child other than the parent. I dont think it's fair. And it does our economy a lot of damage. If you want to save your kid, you should be the paying all the costs and taking care of your kid 24/7. No one should be held responsible.
Do you love some of those kids? I have a pet stray cat with no functioning eyes. And I realize that's such a crude approximation to what you do. But when I take care of her, I kinda hate the world sometimes. "How could the world be so cruel?" Like that. And we should neuter and spay more stray cats. I do like the "home/parental" way. This new creature was born in my home. So I am responsible for its well-being for the rest of its life unless it can venture outside and be fine on its own.
@guyanswersgirls123
as long as the disabled persons aren't a burden to society where everyone else is punished just to keep them alive.
simply it is used in a negative and offensive way when it was originally for the development delay population, so please be mindful and respectful that it is change for a positive reframing approach, language, and terminology in respect of the population group. Yes, not everything is going to stay the same in life and we evolve to make new positive changes including language, terminology, and approaches. If you wanna stick by it, then it is your choice.. but it’s maintaining & reinforcing disrespect towards the developmental delay population group.
If I truly bought into your argument, I would quit right there. But I don't really agree with it. If the target group is offended by someone saying, "This movie is retarded," haven't they expanded the things that hurt them? How can they watch "South Park"? We have made the world more hurtful to them, have we not, than there are people truly intending to wish them harm?
youtube.com/shorts/qZC8UIQRvTs?is=QY1233sMBsHgz9cU
I'm actually empathy-driven and thought about this far more than, "WTF 'Retard' is an offensive word all of a sudden?" I thought about how I would be if I was learning disabled, and my friends and acquaintances who were in my life, and I just don't think I have the data to believe that refraining from the use of this word (at least as long as we keep our historical media) is helping them to thrive in our world and our history. Actually the most persuasive argument I can receive is a vision of a new world. I need the vision.
Well duh they’ve been hurt by it, which is why it is now proper and respectful to use the word “learning disability” and not “retard” while refraining people to stop using the word “retard” because you’ll literally reinforce the issue and hurt to continue. Um that’s a weird argument to bring South Park, that’s literally one show (and it does not justify that it’s okay to continue doing this when the world make shows like this using it as a humor or so on) … it does not equivalent to the history and today’s impact with people using this word or any words that are offensive/inappropriate/negative connotation… I can’t tell you what to do, but it’s up to you if you wanna stay in the same absent mindset or be more open minded that this actually isn’t okay towards this targeted vulnerable population group.
Well if you’re an empathetic person, then you’ll simply understand that word choices brings impact…. I think you just don’t understand or don’t wanna understand it, which is up to you.
In my experience, people who say "duh" a lot are retardare [in the Latin sense]. We're working with a history here.
>> Um that’s a weird argument to bring South Park, that’s literally one show (and it does not justify that it’s okay to continue doing this when the world make shows like this using it as a humor or so on) …
Think about exposure about learning disabled kids to this media, and how you can prepare them. You can say Trey Parker and Matt Stone are like KKK bigots who spread hate towards them or you can say the truth: they meant not to hurt them and the word "retard" had a polysemic drift that drifted far away from saying anything mean about people with learning disabilities.
I think the reason for that is the fact that the word retard has always been used with negative connotations. So if you retard in Italian it would be "ritardo" which in turn means to be late, far behind, slow or delayed and so I think because many people feel triggered today if they're told they're not fast enough at learning or achieving anything seeing that our whole culture is based on this idea that we're all on a marathon using this is offends a lot of people.
I always used it with a negative connotation but not malice towards disabled people, any more than malice towards people who can't speak if I said, "That meeting was dumb." I think I mostly want a world where our intentions are prioritized over our words. Especially since we come from all these different cultures and grew up on different books, media. There is a radical difference in intent between a Japanese teenager saying the N-word singing along to DMX at Karaoke vs. a KKK Imperial Wizard talking about how N-word is causing all the crimes in our streets. This difference doesn't seem respected anymore, and I hate it.
I know and I do understand and share your point of view. I think the world we live in is making it so everything is misinterpreted and it's slowing shutting down all possibility of having any form of dialogue between individuals.
I'm thinking a nice way that lots of guys will get is like real-time strategy (RTS) player vs. Chess player without a strict clock. I think I excel at speed, deadlines, need to do things fast. So in Starcraft like 300+ APM. But the slower 80 APM guy (maybe introvert) might have superior strategy to me. But he can't execute this strategy since my hydras just spit acid all over his marines. So too slow. You snooze, you lose. But if afforded lots of time, he will defeat me because he's smarter when he has lots of time to make a proper plan. I always think a plan is a WIP. You just throw it away and come up with new ones all the time.
Also for me, I gotta write or speak to think. Introverts are opposite. They have to avoid writing or speaking to think. I can't think if I'm not writing or speaking, hence we extroverts are very long-winded since we think out loud a lot. Stream-of-consciousness people, you know, like Nicholson Baker, Virginia Woolf, Proust, etc.
Understood. Lol!
@GuysAnswerGirls123
You have a woeful understanding of what it means to be introverted.
It is offensive for the same reason that talking about intelligence or test scores is so offensive to blacks and the majority of society. The truth hurts, and for 60 years, our society has punished anyone who dares to speak the truth.
But the N- word used throughout history was malicious towards black people. Is saying, "You are dumb," malicious towards people who can't talk?
My bad. I couldn't get from your post after arguing all day whether you agree with me or not. I might have responded instinctively and unfairly. I'm re-reading your post and still unsure.
That is fine; in so many areas, we deflect, punish, and invent other words to minimize the truth. Low test scores are racist, cultural, and due to a lack of opportunity. Women are not fat; they are curvy. Same sex preference is gay, not homosexual. Retarded is replaced with mentally challenged. Tom Sawyerto is being rewritten or banned from schools and libraries. Moreover, don't you dare say midgit.
Oh damn, you're a full-blown badass! I like you already. Here I was trying to do tact and you just went 150% badass. I'm aiming more for a reconciliation and compromise, but full respect. That's totally badass.
One thing though to be clear. You know if even 80% of X suggests Y, the 20% isn't suggesting Y, yes?
An overwhelming majority have the power to punish, but that doesn't change the truth. The Salem witch trials are a well-known example. When scientists (2% of people plus 3% of others) believe one thing and 95% believe another, either the scientists are right or no one is.
simply because people started to use them to offend others...
same as the previous terms, that were also used, and are still used today... to insult others
You'd think "asshole" and "motherfucker" would be at the top of our list if we operated by this alone.
well, they are... those are insulting and offensive words
i still use it but it's been that way for at least a couple of decades
High five! Me too. I don't get how it changed all of a sudden. It seemed to be some new thing in the US in the past 10 years or so.
If you call another user a retard if a moderator sees that he will remove it every time. Yes It’s considered offensive.