23 year old moving out of parent's house for the first time?

[Anonymous]

Hello night owls! I am a 23 years old that has very traditional Hispanic parents. I am planning on move out with my white boyfriend of 7 months soon and I don't know how to tell my parents. This is definitely going to open up a storm in my home so if anyone has been in my situation I seek your advice. Please and thank you.

Updates

+1 y

Traditional Hispanic parents expect their daughters to get married 1st and then move out to start a family. If I were 30 and single, they would still want me at home (my sister actually stayed until 28 and then she moved out after marriage.) My dad is a very serious Mexican who doesn't think any man is good enough for me, and on a side note he always wanted me to marry a Mexican, which I will NOT do. They've hindered my growth and I've been wanting to get out since before my relationship.

[heavensgift2girls]

Not sure why it would cause a storm. You are 23, they had to have seen this coming. Do they not know that you have ever had a boyfriend or something? They likely had a clue as to what has been going on by now.

If it is going to cause a problem, make sure that they can't do anything to stop you from moving. If they have access to your money, make sure that they don't. If you think they will refuse to let you take your stuff. Pack up some crucial stuff and sneak it to your boyfriend for safe keeping.

I wasn't sure how to tell my parents I was moving out either. I assumed they would be mad for some reason, but they were surprisingly supportive. Is either of your parents more reasonable than the other? Maybe you could talk to that one.

[Asker]

My mom is more reasonable but I am afraid of my dad. They wouldn't stop me but they would probably do something like dissown me or something along those lines. My mom told me if I have grand-children she will never come by to visit. Not because she is racist but because I would be disobeying her. I don't want to hurt them because even though they caused me trouble they are still my parents and I love them.

[Asker]

children*

[heavensgift2girls]

I don't want to say anything about your family but, anyone that would refuse to visit their own grandchild, because their daughter decided to live her own life, is not someone you need in your life. The only person that can make you happy is you. Either you live your life, or you let your parents live your life for you. If they are good parents, they will eventually get over it, and still try to have a relationship with you. This is about you and your happiness, not about your parents.

[crazybastard]

i tried it. I'm white my girlfriend is asian. we been together one year. decided to move out. had fights with her family every day. I mean it. result: she is not my girlfriend anymore. but Asian families are tough to get through so good luck to you. I hope it doesn't end up like mine.

[Asker]

Did you move far away? Did you decide to break up with her or was it mutual? I've talked to my boyfriend about this and I've told him he has nothing to worry about because if it comes to chosing I will always be on his side.

[crazybastard]

no we didn't move at all. and it was mutual because we couldn't be together. I mean her mom hired a detective to follow us. I didn't need that sh*t. and I wish my girlfriend was the same because she said family is first blah blah bla

[Anonymous]

I understand as I'm Hispanic myself. My family would probably act the same way except I really wouldn't care since its my life. You're 23 now, your parents have lived their life and you should yours. I'm sure you're trying to not let all hell break lose in your family. But lets be honest either way your parents aren't gonna agree and a huge storm is gonna emerge. So forget about trying to break it to them easy its not gonna happen because either way they will make a big deal about it and maybe try to convince you to stay. So you might as well move out now before you change your mind. I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck. :)

[BGeeeh]

I know I'm no one to judge or anything but you've only been with the guy 7 months and you already want to move in with him ? honestly I'm Hispanic myself and I know what its like to have parents like that . but overall I wish you the best (:

[Asker]

Thank you :).

[BGeeeh]

Youre Welcome (:

[LoveLayne]

How about Hey Mom, Hey Pops.. I'm moving out with my white boyfriend of 7 months soon? I mean you are 23.. Step your cookies up and just do the damn thing.

[Asker]

Yes I have set my mind already so I am moving out but I just want some advice about how to make it easier to break it to them.

[LoveLayne]

maybe write a letter.. but already be moved out ahahha jkjk.. just have a nice t?te ? t?te with them (:

[SevenWindsNineMoons]

Can you just tell them you are moving in with a room mate instead? maybe spare them the details for a bit. Also, what is the hurry to move out? Are your parents the type who want this guy to marry you or something?

[Asker]

I don't want to lie, I feel like I am too old to do that and besides they would not understand the whole idea of a room mate, since it is not in our tradition. I want to live my life independently. Yes, they prefer me to marry first.

[SevenWindsNineMoons]

Unfortunately, you may have to go against your dad to make it happen. I would offer the advice of making sure you have a good, steady job and are making decent money before moving out so if he cuts you off you can stay independent until he cools down. Would your dad absolutely refuse to be okay with you marrying a white guy or is it just something he would like but would (grudgingly) accept your boyfriend?

[Asker]

See that's the thing too, my parents don't support me. I've had a job since I was 16 and have paid for my things since then, they don't give me anything but ask me to help them pay bills instead. No he won't refuse, my older sister is with a white guy, he just wants to control me and he would not accept anyone who makes his daughter break traditional values.

[rogaortega]

Gotta say you should tell them right before you are about to leave or a day before so they don't have much time to get in your face.

[PrincessTee]

HI, I'm in the same situation as you, my parents are turkish and very strict and I'm planning on moving out this week with my bf of 8 months. Let me know how it went as I need some advise too xx