Is it wrong to log onto your ex's Facebook if you know something is fishy and found something out?

[Anonymous]

About six months ago, my boyfriend of about 2 years broke up with me. Two months ago, we started talking and planning on working things out and getting back together. We didn't have a label of boyfriend/girlfriend yet but we were waiting to go on a date; he said that labels don't matter (it is tricky because we live 4hrs away because of college). And some other stuff happened during the time we were trying to get together but I blew it off. After he visited over the weekend, the next day he decided to call it quits. He came up with "he just doesn't have time to put feelings into this, but he still wants to be friends and really close". It just sounded fishy and my gut was telling me, something was up. Usually my gut is right. I just felt used. I thought I might go onto his Facebook and see if there was anything suspicious. I know his password for his account because he told me it awhile ago. Once I logged into the account, I found out that he was asking girls out during the time that we were trying to get back together. He was also sending pictures of himself and receiving pictures of girls during the time that we were dating and talking about going down on a girl that he was messaging. I know what I did was not ideal, but do you think it is understandable? I mean, I found out proof that he was using me and cheating on me.

[nvestan]

I think him cheating on you and betraying you were much worse and wrong then you logging on to his account because of curiosity. When my ex did kind of the same thing she did tell me that she was innocent that she cheated and got to chatting to her now husband, that she didn't wanted to talk to him but he persisted. But when I went online and found her account it was not hidden there that they were texting each other. And that that ex was not that innocent. So, what was more horrible her betraying me and telling me that she got engaged or me going to her account? And me being depressed for about 4 months. I think that you were figuring out what was going on and there is nothing wrong with what you did.

[katylaura]

yes, logging onto his Facebook is an invasion of his privacy and therefore wrong. however, it is nowhere near as wrong as cheating on you, so don't let him try and shift the blame onto you. it's not clear whether at point he sent those messages you two were exclusive, but assuming you were, he's the one who screwed up.

[xTeacup]

Yes, it's wrong. You know it's wrong.

It's an invasion of privacy. I do think he is partially responsible for not being smart enough to change his password or for giving it to you in the first place and cheat. But that's just my opinion.

But honestly, you know how you felt and you found out the truth, so I think it's more important for you to figure out if it was worth it? Worth the guilt, if you have any?

I know that suspicious feeling. It puts you in a tough situation.

Either you could've done what you did or something else to discover to truth or let the feeling go and possibly have regretted it in the future if you and your ex got back together.

[DS4L_]

It's an invasion of privacy. If he said he doesn't want to get back together, obviously there's a reason and you should have the right to know it. But still, whether he's a douche or not, his not telling you is his business.

But no worries, you definitely do NOT need this guy. Just stop talking to him. He's not worth it, you have better things to place your thoughts on.

[Hidden_P]

Yeah it is wrong, but there are so many on this site shoe are guilty of this so don't worry about it hun.

I'm so sorry he was doing that, but at least you have some closure now, yes? You've seen his true colors, and considering your going to be 4 hours away from him you're not going to bump into him.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Well, consider that he already said things with you were over.. yeah, what you did was wrong. All it did was tell you he was a scumbag. It's not like you found something out, and dumped him, and saved yourself from a sh*tty relationship. He'd already decided not to pursue things with you.

[carinabina820]

So just dump him. Don't tell him why. Move on. He's an ex for a reason and honestly if he thinks you found out, he'll just be oh well whatever f*** her I have this other chick. Just get rid of him & find someone better.

[lananoel]

Not wrong... you got the answers you needed to confirm that te relationship had no value. You know now not to EVER try again with him. He is a liar.

[Courtsrad09]

no logging into someone else Facebook, or looking through their phones is never okay. just forget the loser and move on, clearly ts not worth it.

[jayrex]

Just tell him, you change your mind and you're not interested in him. And move on with your life.

[jayzee]

no it isn't wrong,cuz you were saved :D

i think its best for both of you to become transparent in a relationship

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

yes it's wrong.