Boyfriend won't initiate conversation anymore... why?

[LollyPopsicle]

My boyfriend of nearly 3 months and I used to talk just about everyday. Then my phone was stolen which pretty much coincided with exam week, during which we barely talked. He said it was because of exam week, which was understandable, except he said that instead of studying he just got distracted and played games (and didn't study). The weekend after exams ended, we spent the day together at his house and we were fine.

This week we barely talk in person in class anymore. Conversation is kind of awkward at school, but not so much out of school when we can be more affectionate and open (communicating). Since my phone got stolen, the only way for us to communicate apart from in person is Facebook since I can no longer text.It's been a week since we hung out, and he never messages me first on Facebook anymore. We are still together, and kiss goodbye at school. But we never talk after school anymore. I miss him and I've told him so, but still no talking at night anymore. I know he is very addicted to his games but... why would he not talk to me?

[Anonymous]

He went from daily communication (which is what girls want) down to a lot less frequent communication, which is what guys want.

And he realized after 3 months of doing it your way, that he really really likes doing it his way.

He's a guy. In simple biological terms, communicating doesn't give him a dopamine rush in his brain. For you, communicating with him fires off the pleasure centres in your brain. For him it does not.

So for him, communication needs to serve a purpose.

For you, communication is own pleasurable reward.

Why is he not talking to you? Because he doesn't need to. It doesn't do anything for him. He has nothing in particular that he wants to say to you. And after 3 months of trying to keep up with your level of communication, he has slid back down to a far more comfortable guy-level of communication.

You might as well get used to it. This will happen with *all* guys.

Until science invents a way for guys to get the same buzz of pleasure out of texting that girls get, we just won't see the point.

[Out4Sushi]

guys are very simple, just because we play games doesn't mean we do not like/love our girlfriends, just find a public phone and use it to talk to him if it hurts you that much that he doesn't talk to you, tell him that, if he knows he will care.

[koolit6]

How often does he get on Facebook? I hardly ever used mine (which is why I deleted it) so I never really used it to communicate either. I understand what you mean for the awkwardness at school I used to be like that with my boyfriend. What you should try to do is next week if you feel this hasn't changed, First analyze the situation as in get a feel for what is he or you are exactly doing that causes you to feel this way. Then go to him about it. Analyzing it first helps you two because you can go to him and express more easily what you want to say. It also makes it easier on him to work on what you asked. (And doesn't give him a reason to not change because of "misunderstanding")

[KiaLuv]

I think he is just used to taking forever to text you. It's sort of like, he kept up with your texting level and finds he prefers it at his level. Maybe he is slightly tired of being the first to message you on Facebook, maybe he would like you to do it. I think he might not want to come of as desperate either. My point of view...that's all. Also, if you find that you guys aren't chatting enough, maybe you could message him at an in between point. Not your level but not his level? If you get what I mean. Because, he does reply to your messages doesn't he?

[Yriuqni]

Trust me .. if he really wants to talk to you or reach you , he will find a way. sorry to break it to you but it seems that he kinda lost his interest .. so you should either go straight to him and ask what's up .. or just pull back.. but having your mobile stolen is never an explanation , besides when a person is ready to do anything to reach you , it shows .. even if they fail to do so .. :)

[martyfellow]

Sad that your relationship depends on your phone! Clearly his games come before you, not that it's a tragedy after just 3 months...don't take things too seriously, he doesn't!

[Anonymous]

I'll let you in on a secret. men don't want relationships with PHONES. they want realationships with WOMEN!

git off the dang phone and GO SEE HIM

[TheDigitalSaint]

Grab a controller and play some games with him?