I feel belittled by my boyfriend

[Anonymous]

We have been dating a year and he has always done this. He will ask me questions like "name 5 cities in russia" and if I don't know he will be like woooow. I am a dancer and have worked very hard as a dancer my whole life. He came to watch one of my dance classes and I thought he would be impressed or something. But after all he said was I'm gonna check the score. And the said my class didn't look hard. I found that so insulting because dance is my life. I've always been a supportive girlfriend to him. When I've expressed I was upset he just says " girls are emotional". What do I do. He doesn't understand. He makes me feel like just some whiny girlfriend. Help :(

[Alessus]

Well sounds like he has some prideful tendencies then, because he might take comfort or pleasure from the fact that if you don't know those cities, but he does, then he is smarter than you are which might make him feel superior to you. That score thing was a little weird comment, I mean if he did come to your class just to see how you scored and not to watch and form his own opinion about it then he does seem like the guy who likes to feel superiority to others or may get somekind of sadistic satisfaction putting others down. The girls are emotional comment I can somehow understand, because usually women are the more emotional or at least openly emotional people, though nowadays that has started to change. But you really need to have a serious conversation about these types of tendencies before they get out of hand, because these kind of things are things that can grind your relationship to dust. And remember if you are feeling unappreciated or belittled always talk about it and if your partner isn't willing to talk or just dismisses you, then I'd recommend re-evaluating your relationship and possibly breaking it off. Nobody is meant to feel that way in a relationship.

[Asker]

Sorry I mean he meant I'm gonna check the score of the football game that was on during my class

[Alessus]

Ah, well then that just feels wrong to me, because well he came to your dance class to watch you right? So why would he bother himself with details that he can check up pretty much any other time as well? I mean I can't think of many situations where that seems right or justfied.

[KingsOfleon88]

Some guys are just stupid. There you are supporting him in what he does, and he can't even acknowledge your passion. IMO, your partner should not try to make you feel inferior or belittle you in any respect. He should at least realize how hard your working in dance, and try to understand from your perspective the amount of energy you're putting into it, especially if it is what you love. I don't know what to say..

[Anonymous]

"We have been dating a year and he has always done this." well if you stay with him you know it's not going to change right? even if you tell him he's an ass(and he is) he won't change he can't change this is who he is...is this something you can overlook and stay with him or do you want someone who doesn't treat you this way?

it's up to you really.

[Asker]

He has a lot of great qualities. And he doesn't "belittle" me every time we are together but it is often. It just got taken to an extreme since it was aimed at something so important to me. I guess I am asking where I go from here in terms of getting him to stop rather than breaking up with him

. But I could see this eventually ruining the relationship

[Opinion Owner]

honestly I don't think you can get him to stop this is who he is this is his personality it's not really something someone can change. You can tell him it bothers you and maybe he's just so dense that he doesn't realize that he was being an ass and he can become more aware of what he's saying and how it's taken by others and try to edit... that's really all you can do.

[coprophobia]

find something he will know very little about to do with girlie things and make him feel stupid.. but seriously just talk to him about it .