Ex-boyfriend still has pictures of us up on his Facebook profile.

[Anonymous]

I know it's Facebook. I just really want honest opiniions. We had our ups and downs, but I know this guy truly loved me. I was going to have to move out of state and it was causing a lot of tension. I told him we would have to break up. He didn't want me to leave, but I have to return to school. Eventually he just did it over the phone. He was very cold on the phone towards the end. We did complete NC after that. Haven't spoken since breaking up 4 1/2 months ago. I left some things at his place that he gave me and I think that might've hurt him, but the way he spoke to me on the phone made me realize I had to cut it.

I'm doing a lot better, but there are days like today where it just hurts pretty bad. We were so close, and then nothing.

I would really appreciate honest opinions...I don't understand why he still has pictures of us up on his profile. I asked that he remove them when we broke up and he never did. I checked again today and there they are. This always brings me down. I deleted him and Facebook after breaking up, so I'm not on there, but I randomly check to see if those picures are still there.

I appreciate your opinions!

[Anonymous]

Even though you broke up, you were a part of one anothers life. To avoid or just cut that part out is to cut out or remove a part of what and who you are. I have pictures of me with a lot of ex-partners, serious and spur of the moment. Friends and sex partners. I also have pictures of me doing most of the jobs I ever had. Military, Chef, Carnival worker, it all is a part of me. You randomly checking Facebook is your own folly. You are torturing yourself and honestly you deserve the pain. You did not HAVE to break up. Distance is hard but it could make or break the relationship. YOU chose to end it. I am all for him keeping the pictures up. They may be a reminder to him of better times, or of the person that has caused him the most pain.

Personally, I think that your attitude about it sucks. Your an adult (30-35 years of age) you had a breakup and childishly deleted your FB account (HA! THAT'LL SHOW HIM!). Old boy needs to lock down his account so that pictures are only seen by "X" group of people. "I checked again today and they are still there" God nothing like raking yourself over the hot coals for sh*ts and giggles.

You did this to yourself, so you have the choice, move on and accept that it was your fault or keep screwing with your own emotions. Your choice.

Why your were whipping your own back with razors and rubbing alcohol, did you happen to check out his status updates or relationship status? Might cause you more undue stress, better hurry and do that.

[Asker]

Wow is all I have to say. Have a GREAT day!

[Confucius16]

I think he truly loves you, and still does.

Why did you have to move out of state? Did you clearly communicate why you had to do that to him, or is he the type that will blame himself for not being a better boyfriend to prevent you from leaving? Does he think it's his fault.

He didn't want you to leave, but he didn't want to break up with you either. Maybe he sounded cold over the phone, but I think that must have really hurt his heart. I think, it hurts even more to him that you haven't spoken, you ask him to delete the pictures, and that you unfriended him. He's likely feeling really heartbroken, so was it the best thing to break up? He may have made a mistake, and he may be regretting it, but how can he say sorry (if possible) if you have no contact? Give him a chance, and let him give you a chance. It's still possible.

He still has those pictures up because those pictures remind him of the good times he had with you. Some physical icons bring good memories to mind, however sad they may be. And asking him to take down those pictures, must be a blow to his heart. He's likely wondering if you ever cherished the relationship or not, wondering if you hate him, wondering what he could have done to make things right, wondering, hoping, if he can ever get back together with you again. Those are the pictures that helps him remember, so, like it or not, you can't ask him to delete those pictures.

Best of luck

[Asker]

I moved to be closer to him. I have to move for school. I got into a competitive program in another state. He was very adamant about staying as it is "fun" here. So I figured he chose fun over being with me. It hurt me as well as I moved here for him, but he wasn't willing to do the same for me. He kept telling me to stay. He didn't understand why I had to leave. He then started to tell me to give up on going back to school and I told him "No". I started to feel like it was always about him.

[Asker]

I think he did feel like it was his fault as he was very selfish. I didn't feel like he appreciated me. When he broke up with me over the phone when I flew home to visit family, it made me see that he didn't care enough to tell me in my face. He said very hurtful things to me on the phone. He didn't contact me for a week and a half, so I went to his place and left his things and asked him to send me my keys. I never saw him though. He returned the keys and we haven't spoken since the break up.

[Asker]

I don't know how to contact him at this point. I feel like he should be doing that as he decided to end it. He hasn't reached out to me. I came here to be closer to him and the way he handled breaking up with me was like he threw me away. I miss him terribly. I'm a lot stronger now, but have been feeling really down again these past few days.

[Confucius16]

He wasn't choosing fun over you. He wanted fun "with you". It's very hard to move sometimes.

I guess he didn't handle it the right way. He didn't need to have broken up with you. Still, is he man enough to apologize? Studies is important, so you couldn't throw that away for him either. Let's see what happens then.

[Confucius16]

Can you find out why he broke up? Maybe he acted foolishly. But it might be awkward for him to apologize, especially if he doesmt have that chance.

[Asker]

He started backing off a few months after I told him I had to leave. I started to see it and I was getting angry because I felt like he "didn't care" anymore. We were starting to argue more and more. I asked him if he was "still in love with me" a few weeks before breaking up and he said nothing. I walked away and as I was driving off he came up to the car and told me he loved me...so we continued on...only to break up when I was away.

[Asker]

I started to feel like he might've been talking to someone else during those last weeks, so that was making me feel really insecure in the relationship. He had walked away for a week during an argument a few months before and I hadn't heard from him at all during that week. I just felt like he couldn't stand by me when things were difficult. He would run away. I don't know how to ask him why he broke up. He told me right after he did it that I "made him" do that, so I think he regretted it.

[Asker]

We never spoke again. That's what hurts so much. I don't know how to open that door. He never contacted me and I don't feel like I can contact him right now as I am still hurting.

[Confucius16]

Right there. You felt he didn't care anymore, while in his mind, he was probably thinking the same thing, probably, "If you really cared, you wouldn't leave." He probably didn't know how to respond right away when you asked him if he still loved you. He broke up when you were away, perhaps because he felt you didn't care anymore, and I'm not saying you didn't care anymore.

I think there was a lot of miscommunication and unspoken feelings.

[Confucius16]

You have no reason to believe he might've been talking to someone else during those months, otherwise why would he not want you to leave? He probably thought the same thing about you. I think you were both starting to feel insecure, and unfortuntately, hidden assumptions about each other can really ruin a relationship.

I think he did regret breaking up.

Sometimes, to solve a problem, you ave to open that door. Lots of people feel like they don't know how to open that door.

[Confucius16]

And being afraid to open that door, is probably something you are both feeling. You wait for him to contact you, and he's also likely waiting for you to contact him.

I can't tell you what to do, but if I were you, I would contact him, at least to get closure, if not to get back together. Sometimes, you have to take the first step.

I know I manage to make friends mad sometimes, so I always try to apologize. It helps.

[bettybets]

It doesn't matter to him that they're up there. He keeps them for the memories. That's why my ex still has photos of me in his profile pics album and that's why he used to still have the photo of me in his wallet even a couple months after we broke up last year. He may still have it in his wallet just because it doesn't matter to him to take it out.

[standUP]

Memories are made to remember. I have kept pictures of amazing fun memories of how happy we were. I would never post a pic of something that wasn't special to me at the time. So I really wouldn't just forget it or regret that.. I'm mature enough to know that things didn't work out but that doesn't erase the memories of the good times I've had in my life... It is part of my story so was she.

The only way I would erase pics if I had another woman that was insecure enough that she couldn't handle it.

[Asker]

I don't think taking them down for a new girl means she's insecure. It's just disrespectful. She should feel #1.

[standUP]

well depending on the pic sure.. But I don't own her nor likewise... Anything before me is hers and the same for myself...

[Dionysos]

They are his memories too. I'm on lots of fb profiles. As long as they aren't claiming we're still together, it's none of my business what they do. O take it as a compliment that they still like me enough to bother leaving the pics there. I hace pics of my ex's too. Most of em are still in my friends list. No biggie.

[kriskiss]

YOu are thinking about it too much...doesn't really matter what the reason is. he probably knows your checking fb which you are and he wants to probably piss you off and get a rise out of u. he clearly doesn't have another girlfriend because if he did shed be up there. fb is just lame altogether. a major source of stress and tension. Stop checking to see if he has picks, and move on.

[greyhorse]

Well, its his right to decide that he should delete pictures or not. And you said, that's all. You have done your job. Now, its all about his thoughts. If you have really hurt him before, you don't have right to do it again. Let him stick with what he wants.

[Asker]

I never hurt him before. He walked away from me!

[Anonymous]

I think it's nice he still has them up. Regardless of how he may have sounded near the end, he obviously still cares about you and what you once had. The pictures are probably a reminder of the good times and he doesn't want to let that go or forget it. If he did, then what? All he'd be left with is thinking of how things ended. He's just trying to remember your relationship as it was, not what it sounds as though it's deteriorated into.

[martyfellow]

He may be leaving the pictures ONLY because he knows you are checking. It probably hurt his feelngs that you asked him to remove them.

[Asker]

I'm no longer on Facebook, so I don't know how he'd know.

[martyfellow]

Hew knows you pretty well--he probably is pretty sure you are checking to see if he did what you asked.

[martyfellow]

He knows you pretty well, doesn't he? And he knows you asked him to remove the pictures, so he'd know you probably are checking to see if he did what you asked him.

[SkyWolf03]

He might still keep them because he treasures the time you guys were together. It's normal for him to want to keep the pictures since you two were so close.

[Anonymous]

He might be trying to convince someone (his parents, sibling, etc) that you two are still together. Or maybe he just never gets around to doing it. Or he doesn't want to take the final step. Or he wants to screw with you.

[Asker]

I'm sure they all know we are no longer together. This guy was constantly telling me he wanted to marry me. Then so cold at the end.

[Ubetiburn]

There is the chance that he has not used the account, but as they are his pictures, he can post them if he wants - especially since if he is in the 'shot'. I think she is tripping over nothing...What is making her check his page? Hell I don't check my ex-wife's page and I know that there are pictures of her and I with our kids and/or dog on it. I don't care either. She's a great mom although we weren't great together.

[needhersobad]

This is why Facebook and social networking can be problematic I would just tell him to delete them.

[Asker]

We have been complete NC since breaking up. I can't just contact him to tell him to delete them. I deleted him off my friends list, and later deleted my profile. I just randomly checked and there it was.

[Anonymous]

Well if it was me, I'd leave them on as well. Not sure what the problem is.

[Anonymous]

Ask him nicely to delete them