New Year's Resolution: Find Independence Or Find Caution?

[sugar95]

I've always been the kind of girl who'd socialize but somewhat keep to herself. I'd hang out with friends but be the least talkative. I'd go on dates but let the guy talk more about himself while I'd give little information about myself. Yet, at the same time I don't think I know how to be happy without depending on others.

This past year, I've lost my grandmother whose illness worsened during her stay at an awful hospital, a high school teacher to cancer, two college professors who left, and a guy I spent time with everyday until he cut me off out of the blue with no explanation whatsoever.

I have a history of anxiety/depression on/off, and after those events I went through a dark phase. Tired of my illness and realizing my doctor can't do anything other than prescribe me pills, I decided to take full control, get to the bottom of my unhappiness, and eliminate whatever was the cause.

First of all, I let go of the guy who betrayed me and stopped crying over him. Next, I eliminated one of my closest girl friends who would do nothing but discourage me and boss me around about MY love life. A few weeks ago, something happened that has caused me to have second thoughts about a lifelong sisterhood. We've been best friends - and pending - since Kingergarten. She and I are currently not on speaking terms, and I'm debating whether or not this bond is worth saving.

Meanwhile, I've been complicatedly involved with a guy in my college dance class whom things were casual with until I caught feelings - yes, it's always the girl. He isn't looking for a relationship, so I am the fool. Great.

Here I am now, realizing that I lack independence. I don't know how to be happy on my own while I expect the people around me to stick around and love me.

On the other hand, Paul in Breakfast At Tiffany's says people belong to each other and need each other to be happy. The fact that he and Holly end up together in the end suggests that that is what Truman Capote believed and wanted to tell us, doesn't it?

So, which is it? Do we find happiness through independence or others?

Should my new year's resolution be to learn to be independent? Or to be more careful in selecting who I trust?

[glitterberryalisa]

I feel the exact same way. I got out of a 3 year long relationship, moved to a bigger city, lost some important people, and feel totally lost. I say a combination of both, but it's definitely hard to make yourself happy if you're spent a majority of your time trying to make other people happy. I'm still trying to figure it all out!

[lazermazer]

Great take

[Robin48]

Trust you, I am laughing, it so funny. It does not benefit us males. It benefit you females. Why should we trust you. You are evil, wick, all about self. Males are try of being use for your self pleasure and you benefit form it. We sick and try of your stupid rules you put down so you can benefit from it. Males are try of you robbing us. You are all about self. Every moment of the day you reach out to anyone who you can use fro your own need.

[Robin48]

My trust is with God. he my mater, he bless me with a lady, not a women. I am bless with children. No gender basis rules are allowed. In my family we are all about each other. Self center spirit get remove from the home. My wife respect me for being the father and husband that God call me to do. I am the spiritual leader in the home.

I never step down and worship women. There nothing abut women to warship. She a human being as anyone else. She does not sit at a higher level.

[Robin48]

You can be friend and not have a relationship. The reason why women push relationship is to benefit there self. Term of relationship a women use is she what a person who take care of her. Well, she is wrong. When you get marry, is when your husband take care of you. Before hand. You are just friends. Rations hp to a woman is a male she can use for her own needs and benefit form it.

[Silver158]

Riiiiiiiiiiight...

[cosplaygirl]

Be more independent. Trust me! It'll benefit you in the long run!

[Kachatterjee]

May be a combination of trust and independence...

[Robin48]

Each person has their independents. It call self space. Which many people do not know how to respect that area. Trust is very important for relationship. It take time to trust a woman. Honestly they away got a hand behind their back waiting to do their evil. Not all women are like this but there are billions who does. There whole relationship about other is how they can benefit by being a friend to you. They act as if you are benefit from the relationship. True love is not self seeking, love is not self gain. When I met my wife in college. Our relationship is basics on God word. We were spiritual support for each other. Money and sex was not in the picture. Honestly most women inerest in other is money and sex.

[John_Doesnt]

I found independence. From my erection.

[sugar95]

LOL!

[Nahidpie]

Perhaps both