Valentines Day Special: How To Approach A Girl

[Jenny12345]

Some tips for the fellas for Valentines Day (if some guy wants to do a guy version for this, go ahead)

1. STOP USING PICKUP LINES (or try to use fancy stuff)

Base of a relationship is friendship. Would you approach a friend with “hey you fine i’ll drink you loke wine”? No, you wouldn’t.

Most girls are not going to think you are amazing because of pickup lines. For one, we know you didn’t come up with that. We are going to think you are crazy and that you don’t know how to talk to people normally.

A normal tap on the shoulder with a simple, “Hi, my name is —. How are you doing?” and a normal conversation would be far better than any fancy pickup line. It ok to show that you are nervous, because it shows that you are not a player.

2. Stop showering us with compliments all at once

A guy who just calls a random girl a “goddess” “hot” “sexy” or ones that stare at your body and salivates are disgusting and immediately raises a red flag as a predator.

3. DO NOT BE AFRAID OF BEING FRIENDS

Get to know her friends. Have some common interests. I (and most girls) hate random strangers hitting on us.

One of my exes actually approached me by getting to know my friend group. We went on group outing together so that i was somewhat comfortable with him.

THE KEY to not getting stuck in the friendzone is to be friends with her for about a month to month and a half only.

4. Listen to her

I’ve had men try to pressure me into things. Respect her wishes. If she wants to go home early, let her. I’ve had men demand dates because they spent time talking to me(?) as a joke. This wasn’t funny. Needless to say I cutoff contact with him. Girls don’t owe you a date or anything else.

5. Boundaries

Girls feel a lot of pressure too. I’ve had too many creeps who freaked me out. So have many other girls.

Unfortunately, in our society, creepy men and normal men lookalike. As there is no way tell them apart, our past trauma will affect how we interact with men even though you may be a gentleman. So if a girl is cautious and wants to take it slow and only go to coffee during the daytime and not dinner, please respect that. Because not doing so is one of the fastest ways to end the “relationship.”

I hope this helped.

[Anonymous]

Lol a women giving unhelpful dating cliches to help men, sorry girl but dating as a man is hard plain and simple, using your formula you developed here won’t help because it’s way more complicated than that, I just got good at attracting women 2 years ago and it took so long to learn the ins and outs of dating and gaining confidence, I know your trying to help but the most unhelpful dating advice about how to attract women is from women since they have never had to attract a women as a man before they would have no clue how to do it

[JSmuve]

"I (and most girls) hate random strangers hitting on us."

"A normal tap on the shoulder with a simple, “Hi, my name is —. How are you doing?” and a normal conversation would be far better than any fancy pickup line. It ok to show that you are nervous, because it shows that you are not a player."

These two things contradict each other. Everyone you've ever known was a random stranger at some point.

[Jenny12345]

1. I dont like random strangers hitting on me in a creepy/pathetic sexual ways.

I dont mind meeting new guys who introduce themselves like normal people.

[JSmuve]

So then it's not the fact that they're random strangers, but the manner in which they approach. You probably should've specified that.

[Isten]

I would like to thumbs up this take. *spiritual thumbs up*

[dianagirl]

And three thumbs down? I wonder if those guys don't like it when women want to take things slowly and maybe just go out for lunch/coffee, rather than dinner?
Like it says in "Are Men the Weaker Sex?", free from kobo books, too many guys want to take a woman out to dinner so he can get her to drink alcohol on an empty stomach so she'll be more likely to have sex with him. And this MyTake gives the message that it's alright for a woman to take things slow and not put herself in a compromising situation that she may later come to regret - and guys (who just want a free orgasm) don't like that.

[Guy13]

You mean, "heyy babe, you know who you looking at... and I am talking to you.. come on Netflix and Chill" isn't a winning strategy...

[lightbulb27]

My experience for what it's worth. Your writeup represents a category of women who want to start and friend and go slow. That isn't all women and women change monthly, so it's a variable swing. Guys have to deal with and sort all this out as we want a girl, either immediately or like you to build upon a base. It's not easy. When guys are highly successful getting other women using aggressive techniques or guys lose girls by not being direct enough (because her sex drive is high and that is what she is filtering out), that is the backlash effect you see in other comments. There are other women out here who will agree with you. I've dated women from those points (except 3). I've also lost or failed with them when I didn't go fast enough.

This comes down to one thing... the male wants in the female. figure out why? To me the magic potion is more the man has to read the woman and gauge his engagement to her and lead, in the direction he wants to go. it's dancing! Enough so she knows your intent, not too much... for that girl. Some girls go for sex same night, that isn't you.

Lastly, if you want to improve your personal world, organize a women's movement to smack down women who engage in sex prior to the man committing himself in some substantive way. Do that, your world gets easier. Live in a world of tinder girls with "no hookups" on their profile who hookup same day, your world gets harder as the gaggle of males are further corrupted.

[bailey11]

And we wonder why so many women don't visit this forum anymore but rather, visit Girls Forums instead. With comments like this.

[lightbulb27]

@bailey11 what am I spoiling your one night stands?

[Anonymous]

1.
“Hi, my name is —. How are you doing?”
Sounds excessively formal, like you're about to sell something. It's awkward and doesn't feel natural.

2.
While I would say in practical terms, yes, girls usually don't like that do for that reason you shouldn't say it. However, to clarify in terms of what is really happening, it has nothing to do with being a predator. I feel like that's obviously not a what a predator would do. But yes, because women get these ideas in their heads that's why it's necessary to act accordingly.

3.
I've seen on here many in and people I've known personally that women put you in a box adn it's hard to get out of that box. Acting like a friend instead of being direct often lands one in a friendzone -- and when you begin a relationship as friend and then one day ask them out or make a move it's very common for women to feel this is a manner of betrayal.

The advice isn't wrong per se but it basically comes down to luck in syncing up the right amount of interest being expressed and for how long

[shephardjhon]

I follow this advice to the letter. So much so that I always act angry and disinterested around women and never talk about anything but work. Even if a woman tries to talk, I actively try to ignore her by looking at my phone and answering occasionally and getting away as fast as possible. I that afraid of coming off as what you describe in 2. Bonus: I never have to be in the friendzone (the other thing I am EXTREMELY afraid of) if I never have female friends. How am I doing?

Note: this is not sarcasm, I ACTUALLY behave this way. I saw one of these when I was 11-12 and have behaved like this since.

[Good1mufferaw]

If you really act that way, girls will probably avoid you, or feel like they have done something wrong.

Just be friendly, smile and maybe joke around a bit. But if you don’t know each other well just yet, know to keep a bit of distance at first.

But also remember to be yourself, have your own opinions and don’t just agree with what everybody else are saying if you’re having a different opinion. That will be very attractive as it shows that you are comfortable, and confident enough being yourself. It also shows independence, and it will gain you respect from others, as it will show leadership.

[shephardjhon]

@Good1mufferaw "keep a bit of distance at first." didn't I make it clear that I DO?

And leadership? HA. Despite this attitude and despite being physically abused by a female tutor at about the same age, I actually do have leadership skills. I have attended 3 hackathons and led my team in 2 and won 1. I am the one who suggests to my supervisors what research projects we should start. I have won multiple awards otherwise. I have led a team older than me to victory in a robotics competition and I now help pitch the project to investors. I am absolutely not afraid to disagree. Professionally I DO have leadership skills. In personal life, I am a team of 1.

[shephardjhon]

forgot to mention, the one I won, I was leading the team and I worked with undergrads to beat out even graduate students from some of the top schools in the US.

[Anonymous]

This is a great example of the fact that women give poor dating advice. What they say they like and what they actually respond positively to are typically different things.

Guys, when it comes to how to be successful with women, do NOT listen to what they say. Instead, observe their behavior and act accordingly. It will typically take you in a very different direction.

[Cask23]

Typical female verbal diarrhea where to words out her mouth don't match the reality of female behavior.

Guys - follow this and you'll need a beta schmuck freind zoned.

Consistently women have shown a subconscious desire for strong confident Alpha/bad boy jerks.

[Daniel3035]

100% true just bs on a platter here. You could do everything on this list to the creator guaranteed she will say “sorry i have a boyfriend” if she doesn’t like you.

[Jenny12345]

@Daniel3035 no i will not

[Daniel3035]

Lol yes yes you will. A womans word means nothing you say you won’t well I see girls say they’re not hungry then start stealing your food.

[Jenny12345]

@Daniel3035 im a woman of my word

[Cask23]

To understand a women, watch her actions and discard her words.

Women will often use words to rationalize and justify their behavior.

Observing a womens behavior is everything you need to know.

[Daniel3035]

Words of wisdom right there. Couldn’t have said it better if a woman is in the wrong she will justify it with words. And some go beyond that.

[Kkaos]

So true guys. She actually sells this 'friends first' bullshit. Says you should be friends with a girl for a month before actually making your intentions clear. What happens at the end of the month? 'Aww! You're so sweet! But I don't want to ruin our friendship!'. Congratulations, you've now wasted an entire month to learn the girl's simply not interested when the chances are she'd probably made her mind up as soon as she met you.

[NoahZ]

Can confirm all of the above. And now I have best girl. <3

[ryryryan]

Very helpful but I think I can be much more helpful by telling guys to put their energy into fitness and working out cuz u can *listen to her * - when she rejects you really quick cuz u don't have a sexy body 🤣

[Pejtu]

Why the fuck people keep thinking its rocket sience
talk to her randomly about stuff , ask her out later
Yes - good :P
No - next one :)

[Gopnik]

haha i hate approaching random girls.

[Gopnik]

+ my friendgroup isn't all too big and not a lot of girls in them and whenever i do try i usually fail so fuck, guess i'll be lonely af for a long while 🙃😫

[Robertcw]

Some of us have no friendgroup/are loners. My only friend group is a bunch of Christians because they were the only ones I enjoy being around.

Now they are all tryibg to convert me, and they are grossed out by sex.

I don't get along well with other men. I find most aggravating. The feeling seems mutual.

I can get alobg with women in person, but they ussually travel in friend groups. Ergo -- catch 22.

[Gopnik]

@Robertcw i have friend groups with girls in them but they're either taken or just not the girls i'd want to date.

[gym4ever]

i dont understand why the fuck valentines day is such a big deal. ITS NORMAL DAY, NO ONE IS LOOKING FOR A VALENTINES DAY BUDDY. ITS JUST AAA NORMAL DAY

[belgat911]

Yes it just another day but it feeling that make it special

[gym4ever]

no i dont have any feeling that its special. I feel like everyone is retarded on this website

[belgat911]

Ok what ever. Bad mouth someone when someone disagree with you.

[Karthik_1411]

Nice take..😄
I Totally agrees with u...
Cuz I m still single...😅
I think this would help me in future..😃

[Anonymous]

What do we say after we say: " How are you doing?” ?

[Anonymous]

A tap on the shoulder wouldn't work for me. It's an invasion of my personal space.

[DakotaNorth]

Say hello and I'll fall into your arms. I'll take anyone. I have nobody.

[Anonymous]

No 3 is hilarious cause it’s completely explains that you’re in the friend zone to begin with!! What do u think the Definition of a friend zone is?

[Jenny12345]

I always date out of my guyfriends.

[Opinion Owner]

OK but u not answer the question... what do u think the definition of friend zone is?

[Jenny12345]

Its when a girl decides that she will only be friends with a guy.

[Anonymous]

it's a reminder of something I know will never go away unfortuneately, my mindset changed a lot towards the end of 2017.

[Marti434]

Good points but I am a girl so this really is of no use to me and I’m not a lesbo

[Anonymous]

Stopped reading at pint 3 - that is the single WORST piece of advice anybody can give to any guy anywhere. You really shouldn't write takes on this topic

[Jenny12345]

No it isn't. Part 3 is correct.

[Opinion Owner]

It's easily the dumbest thing I ever read on this site, and I read A LOT of dumb shit here

[Jenny12345]

It isn't. Women agree with me as well. The key is timing it right as i said above.

[Opinion Owner]

Really? Which women would that be? There is no timing involved, men should make their intentions perfectly clear from the first second, otherwise their chances of ever being with that girl are instantly doomed

[Jenny12345]

For one me. I've never dated a stranger only friends. And the women on this take are validating what i said.

[Opinion Owner]

Hahah the Grimm brothers are amateurs in fairytale writing compared to you

[Jenny12345]

No they are not

[neb34]

none of these are useful

[doctorwhofan23]

What if you are shy?