I have a good friend and he and his girlfriend just broke up. He has asked me if I would go on a Valentine dinner with him. He needs my support at the moment. If I tell my husband, my husband would say no because my friend was my ex. My husband will be out of town during Valentine weekend, and if don’t go with my friend I will also be home alone. I am thinking going without telling my husband.
You're literally describing cheating. It doesn't matter if he's out of town and it doesn't matter that you don't plan to kiss him or have sex this is clearly a date and no guy on the rebound hits up his ex on Valentine's Day after getting dumped just wanting company. He's trying to get you to get back together with him. He's not asking for help and comfort he's trying to manipulate you with pity into sleeping with him.
Even if that's not the case which I'm 100% sure it is even if you didn't kiss, even if you didn't have sex even if don't so much as hug or hold hands thefact remains your married and you went on a date with someone who is not your husband and that's the definition of cheating. If your husbands not ok with it that's even worse and frankly I think you should feel embbaressed and ashamed of even considering this as a married woman in my opinon.
Once you are in a relationship there are things that are unacceptable to do with other people no matter what under any circumstances. If I was married and my wife did that even if nothing happened, I'd tell her if she ever did that again it's a divorce. The fact this guy is your ex, and you know your husband is against it and you're still considering this is rude dishonest and disrespectful to him. If you do this, you're a bad wife and a partner he can't trust.
It doesn't matter how sad your ex is, he's your ex you're married to someone else that's the end of the conversation period and like I said he's on the rebound and he's trying to seduce you. No guy asks for a comfort date and if he does he's lying. He's counting on you being alone on valentines day so he can exploit the mood to try and minpulate you into cheating on your husband.
He probably genuinly is sad and upset but he's not asking for help he's asking for a chance to try and take you back from your husband. He does not have pure motives and he doesn't want your comfort pitty and company he wants to fuck you. Dono't do this and don't consider it ever again. Frankly in your husband's situation given he's even asking this knowing your married I'd say I don't care why I'm not comfortable with her being friends with them anymore and if they don't cut contact it's going to cause problems in the marriage. The right thing to do is completely cut your ex out of your life at this point.
Think of if the roles were reversed and your husband did this to you?
@Nikki1989 Funny calling an understanding of basic human decency and calling people on bad and selfish behavior is a rant. People always give one sentence responses goading me here when I make posts but they all conveniently fail to show any valid and fair criticism 90% of the time. If your only defense is LMFAO you don't have a defense. If this is your only feedback to my thought-out opinion than your words are meaningless. If you want to make fun of me, go ahead, point out why my argument is stupid and give me a valid criticism as to why my thoughts are invalid? I'm waiting... Oh and if you think THIS is me ranting you've seen nothing.
lol I hope your husband finds out then divorces you. You have no loyalty. I understand some people can be friends w an ex, which to me is a no go. But to go out w someone on Valentine’s Day w someone who you used to have feelings for. No. No self respecting man would let this happen if he knew about it. You know you wouldn’t go for it if your husband was taking out an ex girlfriend for Valentine’s Day cause her man dumped her. This is one of the million reasons why men shouldn’t get married.
If you know that your husband would be uncomfortable with this, you absolutely should not go. I am not even sure why you are asking this. Why are you in a relationship but okay with keeping secrets and sneaking around? Even if you are doing something innocent, the sneaking around makes it seem otherwise. And yes you would be sneaking around since it is something you are keeping from your husband. I don't mean to be harsh, truly. This just seems like an obviously bad idea to me that could also easily blow up in your face
I feel like my husband couldn’t trust me at all.
Is it that he doesn't trust you or that he doesn't trust your friend? And if he doesn't trust you, doing this behind his back will make him trust you even less if/when he finds out
No, that's weird. If anything the hubbie would be there with us and we'd possibly think of a nice gal (or guy) to match up with the family friend. There's no way I'd be MARRIED and hanging out with someone who isn't my spouse on any major holiday.
Nothing serious just some drinks and dinner.
Meh... not on Valentine's day...
Opinion
22Opinion
If you’re going above your husbands head going on a romantic dinner with someone whose your ex this is questionable at best. Maybe you have innocent intentions behind it but I don’t think it’s a good idea.
I think you wouldn’t want your husband sneaking around doing things like this then you shouldn’t be doing it either. Just because your husband may never know have integrity part of love is trust.
If it’s a dinner with a friend or whatever that’s one thing but knowing the circumstances involved my honest opinion is that it’s bad idea. If you’re really having to even ask the question then you should know that.
Absolutely not. And if you go, it's essentially premeditated cheating. He does NOT need your "support" - he's a grown ass man. You are trying to rationalize spending time with him behind your husband's back, intentionally putting yourself in a situation where you will be heavily tempted to cheat. And when you do, you will try to tell everyone that "it just happened." Which is bullshit.
If you have any morals at all, you will stay far away from your ex. in my opinion, you are already over the line by talking to him. He should be completely out of your life.
Saying it's a valentines dinner is weird. It's okay to go out with a friend for dinner and that randomly happens to be on valentines then sure
If it was me and I found out about it I would be very angry and disappointed.
Why are you angry? Just a dinner and catching with a friend?
So you’re saying my husband does not trust me? Marriage should be built on trust.
I'd try to set him up with one of my friends, or maybe even a guy friend. I'd ask my husband for ideas too. It's super sweet that you want to help him out. This would just be to close to cheating in my opinion.
I think I should be fine. I won’t do anything I don’t want to.
How would you feel if your husband went out with an ex who just got out of a relationship on valentines day and didn't tell you because they thought you'd be mad?
I wouldn’t mind if he goes and support his friend.
Then you should tell your husband
I did and he still say no.
No. I love and respect my marriage more than my ex.
he just broke up with someone… he doesn’t want to be alone… but it’s not your job to entertain him behind your man’s back. You are showing you don’t love or respect your husband.
don’t be trashy.
if your husband goes out with his ex on Valentine’s Day… … what would you say to him?
I wouldn’t mind if he goes out.
Then you two have different views …
I personally prefer spending time with my hubby over any men/male friends…
I hope all works out for you both.
I just wish he respects my decision.
No one in their right mind would be happy to have their wife/husand go out with an ex.
If I were him…I would be so pissed off and kicked you out.
Married person have no business hanging out with exes behind their back or even think it’s okay…
It’s a very low class/self thing to do.
Marriage has the highest meaning of love and respect and loyalty to committee to their partner.
The woman- you in this case, need to go to him and tell him you have thought about what he said, that you are wrong and will never do anything to make him feel so weak, small for your self benefits.
I personally don't like when people call their ex's their friend, it almost feels like they are trying to hide the true nature of things. Anyway, since it's an ex and not just a friend I don't feel that it's appropriate. If he needs someone there as a friend then he has other friends or you can have a phone call. Valentine's dinner isn't the occasion.
He was my ex who became my good friend.
No, that's disrespectful and very sneaky. I don't hide anything from my Husband or do anything that may jeopardize our relationship. How would you feel if your Husband had dinner with his ex or another woman and later on you find out? You would assume the worse. That's not nice of you.
If you are calling it a Valentine's dinner, it is probably a red flag right there. Any other kind of dinner wouldn't be so questionable. I have to have lunches and dinners with other men sometimes for my job, and my husband has no issues with it.
Other men for your job and an ex for Valentine's dinner after his breakup are two totally different things
That person is not simply a good friend. They are an ex that you are 'good friends' with. Labelling it as you initially did is deceitful. There is no pushing that toothpast back in the tube.
And no you shouldn't do it anymore then your husband should be meeting 'good exes' for romantic dinners while out of town either.
The only date I want for valentines is my man and no I would not go out without including him
Hiding it from hubby is sketchy. You know it would upset him, should be a no. How would you feel about him spending an evening with someone he was previously having sex with? And not telling you about it?
I told him he can do the same I wouldn’t mind. He chose not to.
You are a fucking awful wife.
Who gives a fuck about his dating life? He can go out with his guys friends. You are married. What the hell is wrong with you?
I hope he finds this account you have, reads how disgusting you are and divorces you.
You are truly awful.
A good wife wouldn't even cosider this or keep an ex around.
But he is my good friend. We are always there for each other needs. He is my to person whenever I have arguments with my husband and need to let it out.
That is so out of pocket. We should never rant to another man about our partner, so disrespectful.
Why would you lie to your partner? Be a grown woman and explain the situation or tell your ex no.
yes go, why is your husband out of town on V day? maybe he has a kink for you getting fucked by another guy? I do so if this is the case I would totally get it,,,
For work.
Contact with an ex is unacceptable. You would be cheating by going to dinner with him. Your husband should leave you. You are a bad person.
Don’t tell your husband so you can have fun with your ex
Hahahaha... haha
@Cormac995 I think you'll find @jennz6 has a lovely dry sense of humor. Relax.
@dustybiker2 I knew you would like that
@Cormac995
Yeah, she is human garbage.
Boys... smh
If he really needed your support, it wouldn't be on that specific date. Having said that, your husband will be away so you can go to have dinner with friends (which really means your friend). Just be discrete about it
this is cheating not a friendly date the dude asked her out on the re bound on Valentine's day while her husband is out of town. He doesn't want pity he wants pussy he's trying to manipulate her into cheating.
Its not a good idea at all.. absolute NO , Big trouble awaits for certain if you proceed.
I feel like you want to do it You just want to hear it's okey
Don't. First, people should not be friends with exes. Second, by not telling your husband, you are cheating.
Seriously? You know better than this. If you do it, you'll know in your heart that you are a low quality person.
That's shady and offensive as fuck and don't be surprised if you get divorced over it
That is just asking for trouble. Why not just do like me & stay home.
LOL, I sent my wife and her side guy on holiday for New Year
No, I wouldn't tell my partner if it’s for work and there are more than two of us. Hiding makes us look worse.
You're a piece of trash.
Imagine if your husband did this to you with the woman he told you not to worry about
How long have you been married? How long were you with your ex? Did you and your ex have sex?
Go For It. then date me to enjoy the very best home cooked meal of your life.
No, you're asking for trouble.
What kind of trouble?
If your main partner found out or spotted by someone you and your spouse. I seen this end badly. Let’s just say someone might end up in jail.
Then be ready for a fight when you get back if you go
He wouldn’t know.
Are you planning on having sex with him after the dinner?
No I do not.
Gotcha still if your husband doesn’t agree then I think you shouldn’t do it
Be careful. Your friend might hit on you.
Why not be transparent and get permission?
My husband wouldn’t allow it.
Why do you need your ex in your life?
No not a chance!
Damn right! Thank you! NIce to see there are at least a few people who understand basic trust and decentcy in a relationship! Just asking this question is gross to me this should have been dismissed out of hand, and she shouldn't even be talking to her ex if she's married. Worse this isn't him asking for comfort are you fucking kidding me? On the rebound asking for a date on Valentine's Day when her husband is out of town? How can this be any more obvious than it is already? He's trying to seduce her into cheating! He doesn't want comfort and pity he wants pussy and he's trying to manipulate her.
Maybe
No I'm loyal.
Nope.
Yeah?
Whore
gooo
Awful take someone 73 years old should be smarter than this with that much life experience or you're just a piece of crap who doesn't care who gets hurt. This is cheating, this is a betrayal of the marriage! If I was her husband and she did this I'd threaten divorce if it ever happened again, and I'd have had the trust in the relationship damaged so bad it could take years to fix if it could be fixed at all.
You can also add your opinion below!
Holidays 
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
