I've been hearing lots of disappointing stories today about men not getting their women anything for valentines yesterday š like damn its not even about the gifts but the effort...
As someone mentioned men will put in or reciprocate a lot of times what he gets from her as far as feeling loved. A lot of women these days donāt deserve it. On top of that this day is mainly about women. Itās not for men. These companies play on womenās emotions. They make the men feel like shit for not partaking in it. She also makes you feel like shit as well as her friends when she complains to them. A majority of men arenāt like this in reality. Women think men are like this because of the Hollywood romance that has been stuck in their heads since they were little girls. You said that men are just supposed to be the romantic ones. That thatās part of being a guy. But you really have no idea what being a man really is. Women always say real men do this or that but have no clue how we feel, what we think or even care much about menās feelings. For women you get all these feelings when it comes to romance. For men, it doesnāt work the same. Thatās why it may be hard for men to be able to understand those feelings women get from all this stuff. Thatās like when men get excited about a new gun. Then he shows it to you, talks about it for an hour. Youāre sitting there thinking ok this is boring, itās a new gun. Some women may get excited by that, but I donāt think a lot of them do. Just a comparison.
My mother in law said she felt the biggest mistake she made in her relationship with her ex (my wife's father), was telling him special occasions weren't important to her. She said they never celebrated anniversaries, bought special gifts for each other on Christmas or birthdays and never celebrated Valentine's day. Looking back, she feels that weighed heavy on their marriage. Special occasions aren't about buying things, like you said but more about showing/expressing your love for each other. I make sure my wife feels loved and appreciated on those days. She pretends she doesn't want the attention but what her mom told me will never be forgotten.
u I donāt know but I gave up trying to celebrate V-day a while ago. Many of my ex-partners only ever disappointed me, or gave bullshit excuse XYZ as to why they wouldnāt put effort in. And then thereās my current partner who doesnāt celebrate it because his grandparents death anniversary is on Valentineās Day, so Iāve joined him in not celebrating it. The holiday is just more of a headache than itās worth. Pressure for guys to put effort in (and more often than not, they donāt), and disappointment/frustration for women.
Men generally are taught to mask their feelings towards even their significant other, so some make no effort to make Valentine's Day special for their lady.
what do women do for men on Valentines day?
Is this an excuse to be a day for pampering women AGAIN?
Isn't this about doing things for PARTNERS with no gender specified?
I did it blew up in my face. I ordered for her because everyone liked that dish and she was mad because she didn't want to eat that. They let her order a different dish so mad.
@beefcakebradybatson Should it be though in the modern equal opportunities or does society insist on adhering to gender norms just because?
@beefcakebradybatson Society EXPECTS it but then it expects men to die to protect it, women to populate it and people to SERVE it. That doesn't make it right. Relationships should be about doing things often for each other irrespective of some random commercial event sponsored by florists and confectioners
@beefcakebradybatson Yup time for the feminist movement to enter the 21st century
@beefcakebradybatson One can live in hope though
I had an ex who refused to do anything. He was always like "it was invented by the greeting card industry" Honestly I think a lot of guys just don't value romance, and V-day is all about the romance. They don't care about chocolates or cards or roses that are always over priced.
Well, then I may play the role of the ex and the hated somewhat here lol
Romance is not for sale, letting the market and the calendar dictate romance creates a contradiction that throws it off the bridge. Romance is about emotions and impulses, it is subjective and ungovernable
@Maybe_Maybe_not I actually kinda like that
Then my V task is doneāš¼
Opinion
57Opinion
Guys tend to put as much effort as women do into the relationship. If a man feels truly loved, he'll usually reciprocate in kind. But if he's not feeling appreciated for what he does and always tends to pay for dates while the woman is narcissistic and just expects it out of him, that gets old pretty fast and he stops caring.
Man I really do feel for your man. Buddy is a whipped simp. And you are living in your own delusions. Who tf raised you? š
Well your partner can't say the same. He definitely settled. A woman that just expects everything from her man doesn't really give af about him.
u Of course, not all of us are like that. . . and the guys who make no effort make guys like me look better. I got my wife a card, a dozen red roses, I took her out to dinner, and then gave her a pair of garnet/yellow gold earrings. It was a good day for us.
Well to some guys itās just another day to pamper their women when they have to do that many times during the year anyway and itās more for the women than men so thatās why they donāt put as much effort I think
I figured Christmas and Motherās Day and any day that he wants to surprise her would count and when sheās on her period too wouldnāt it? I mean, if you take care of him just as much then he really shouldnāt be bad at putting an effort into it
Christmas is aboustle hell for a woman. It's a day of non stop working and everyone else being loved and taken care of besides her. Maybe mothers day but that's more for kids to their moms. Women are the ones who are constantly caring and pampering everyone else so valentines day is the one day they get to experience that
When I was married, I used to take care of most of that since my ex-wife didnāt do much and I still got her stuff for Motherās Day because she was a mother to my children and I havenāt had a mom in 20 years so I guess somebodyās not doing as much as they should on the other end
I was sick with the flu the last few days and couldnāt see my girlfriend because of it but I got her perfume, dark chocolates and a card to give her once I see her and she understands and told me itās like Valentines Day whenever she sees me 😊
My guess is, they think it's not very macho to do that and they don't want to look weak in front of their boys. Like when I worked at a factory and the guys referred to their wife as the old lady. Always hated that it's very disrespectful. They think Valentine's Day is too lovey dovey and emotional and they're trying to portray the image that they are tough as nails. I'm a guy and I don't understand it if you have a woman in your life and she special to you you should show her not only on Valentine's Day but every day. 💞
My wife is always swamped at work around Valentines day and it's right up against our son's birthday so while I usually get her a small thing on Valentine's Day, we reschedule having our romantic date night until mid March usually when she's not so exhausted from work.
The 24th. His party is later today though because of scheduling.
That's because guys these days don't value the relationship they have with their girlfriend.
I go all out for valentines day and her birthday.
I made a nice steak dinner and cheese cake for dessert for us, bought her flowers, a nice necklace with her birthstone. I brought everything up to the rehabilitation center where she is. After dinner we cuddled until I had to leave. by the way, we've been married for 30 years.
I have the opposite problem, my man puts too much effort. He set up a dinner at a fancy italian place, got me roses and shits and a gold necklace.
I donāt want to sound ungrateful but he knows me enough to know I really donāt care for this stuff but he always keeps doing it, he says he needs to treat me like a woman because sometimes I act like I think I am a man lol. I just accept this is the way he is and he does all this for himself.
My wife doesn't care about Valentine sadly, I tried the first times but she wasn't very receptive.
So now I spend it with my mistress! Just kidding obviously, but I give Valentine's Day the value my partner does - my wife doesn't care and pretty much the only gift she accepts is a box of chocolates, so I go aith that.
Romance and gifts from the heart should not have a price tag. There is a difference between appreciation days and some 'commercialised holidays'.
Take me for an example I don't celebrate those kind of days, if I wish to gift I gift. Of I wish to be romantic I will be romantic.
Why este money on flowers and chocolates that are overpriced to hell when I can take my girl out to the movies then dinner at a local shop or coffee, then drive her home.
All of the above for the same price as the choco and flowers on valentines day?
All you women have to do is many spread your legs. Some will lie after sex and claim rape. So will sell the gifts to get a gift for their kids or other men they share their vagina with.
Why can't women give use men ore than just sex on Valentine's day?
Agreed?
I was so unaware that women gave up sex so easily on valentines day
My hubbies away for work. I am sitting alone rating onion rings and watching tv.
He said he'd call me but he hasn't. I know we have to think about money, but I am asking too much for some affection sometimes?
Men, in my experience, seem to care more about the little every day things rather than the big occasions. I always feel more appreciated when my woman rubs my back after a hard days work than if she buys me something nice for Christmas. I appreciate more when she thanks me for taking out the trash and picking up dinner than when she does some fancy thing for Thanksgiving. In much the same way I think I show affection in the same way. The little things day in and day out are how I think she should know I care. Not getting her chocolate on the day when every guy gets their girl chocolate.
Women, on the other hand, often seem to have a reversed version of this. They may not appreciate the small everyday things thinking instead that these are routine or expected. They prefer the larger romantic displays like flower petals to the bedroom at Valentimes or something.
I saw that too! It doesnāt even have to be romantic my brother got my mom and I flowers because my dad passed and heās always get my mom stuff and he got me some because he said he was proud of me for leaving an abusive relationship.
I know I was crying lol and then he gave me a speech about me finally loving myself š and thatās huge because my brother isnāt like that.
Makes sense why heās an all girl dad lol
Depends who your with I spose, I have had a few partners that hated the fact that romantic stuff gets saved up for valentines day or anniversaries etc. I tend to agree with them, I think appreciation should be shown anytime not just on certain days. No better feeling for you and your partner to do things on a whim and show them how much you love them or appreciate them by doing something special for them on just a random day.
Because the day is simply a day of commercial bullshit , its simply a giant marketing tool , you are far better to create another day of your own , call it something else and completely boycott the bullshit involved with February 14 th.
It all becomes a stupid competition , and that makes absolutely ZERO sense.
My boyfriend once broke up with me to celebrate February 14th, I've never celebrated it in my life and now I don't have a boyfriend.
I think a lot of guys get burnt out because of the amount of normal effort that goes totally unappreciated.
It's really hard to feel inspired to do something nice for a holiday if your experience doing nice things the rest of the year is met with complaining, frustration, and general unpleasantness.
That's kind of a sucky choice though, isn't it? I can either do nothing at all and know I'm going to get an earful. Or I can spend time, money and put in the emotional labor to impress a lady who will give me slightly less of an earful lol
I think I have! Thankfully. Guess we'll see how it all unfolds.
I'm not sure that there are too many guys who even know what a healthy relationship with a woman looks like.
I donāt get it either. For a little effort, you can make your partner happy. Why not?
A lot of men probably put up with what their wives want every other holiday, that they don't really feel much by the time Valentines day comes around.. They're tuckered out from working long sometimes dreadful hours and meeting the demands of a most likely bossy wife who withholds sex from them anyways.. I can imagine they aren't feeling in the romantic mood.
Those men are probably put working extra hours to get those last few Christmas presents, then probably come home to a wife ready to tell them to do something or they ain't getting any..
Out working ***..
For a lot of men, yeah they don't care.. And yeah a lot have a problem with romance, but I can bet their wives probably don't make it easy to want to be romantic.. Sometimes it's a two way problem..
I do, but the day after, when everything is cheaper. this year though I had a custom designed necklace made for her, It has the engraving that her wedding band has on it which has the infinity sign followed by "Love Eternal" on it. Its hard to describe. The heart is a very large sapphire, her birth stone, and it has silver around it with the engraving. I gave it to her for valentines, but its meant as both a valentines gift and a 10th wedding anniversary gift.
As long as my wife is okay with it, I'm okay with it lol. I'm all for saving money.
Seriously, itās just one day a year to make someone happy. Itās not even that much work and most women donāt ask for all that much.
Because like most holidays they are promoted as marketing schemes to trick dummies. Oh no there is social pressure to spoil my wife today. I better spend money and do what I was tricked into doing. If you need a holiday to be spoiled or for you to spoil your s/o you failed the relationship already.
Because most men are not spoiling their wives on the daily. They need valentines day to do it
Men are not indulged in these "holidays" like most of us women do. They are happy with simple things in life I suppose.
Itās hard to expect effort from people you routinely belittle in other posts. Respect and love go both waysāif you publicly refer to men as breeding pets and mock their role in relationships, donāt be surprised if that energy gets reflected back. Donāt demand what you wonāt give.
ā Eva ā¤ļø
Because not all people are believe in Valentineās day.
It's not just about doing things for wives. HUSBANDS don't get nearly as much validation from anywhere anytime than women get for being women (think weddings as the centre of attention, then motherhood for birthing) get just for being present.
Because everything is expensive and people don't have the money to frivolously spend on an overly commercialized and overly romanticized holiday that tells people romance & love has a $ sign. There is also the lack of appreciation towards the things guys do romantically, regardless of how small it is.
When you have been married for 10 years, you tell each other you love each other daily and hopefully show it. Seems like a āhallmarkā holiday and an excuse for young ones to go all out on the soon to be.
Why do so many women put so little effort into making Valentineās Day special for their boyfriend or husband?
Is it entitlement or apathy?
Not all women do. Especially Valentineās Day. But in general men donāt even get a āthank youā. Their effort is simply expected.
Men get pampered at just about every other holiday. Thanksgiving, Christmas they usually have a woman cooking for their man. If there's kids then moms are usually the ones throwing the parties, planning Easter, Halloween as well so women put in plenty of effort on other holidays when the men do not have to try as hard on those days. Men could at least step up and handle valentines to give back to their women for handling everything else
Well, you're saying that's the case. I would say circumstances, and in a relationship there are two sides, you're only hearing one side of the story.
That may not be the case, he may be happy, perhaps there are more important things than St. Valentines Day. And like I say there are 2 sides in a relationship.
Because they aren't good husbands/boyfriends pick better personality instead of going for looks. I was blessed with both. 😂 🥳
i figure cause so many "romantic" occasions in culture, the man is always the one who has to do shit and the woman just recieves while doing nothing but maybe spreading her legs as a reward. i guess men are tired of that dynamic.
so "equality" isn't a thing then. got it. we're still living in the 50s. it's weird how equality works in the minds of women. it somehow only applies when women don't benefit from not being equal. as soon as they benefit from the inequality, they don't want equality :D
well that's good :) you're not a double standarted bigot then. the thing is that society kind of heads this way tho even if you and me don't agree. the thing is: if you expect male romantic and chivalrous behavior, you gotta reward them with the respective feminine behaviors. if you don't give that form of that reward for male behavior (which in modern society most women don't), men will stop displaying that behavior. it's almost mechanical how that works.
in my opinion everyday they should treat her like a Queen... but times have changed and women have become scandalous.
I got a card, flowers n candy. No big deal to just acknowledge it.
lol. Effort has to be reciprocated. Women usually donāt put any effort in for what men want. Plus you all or independent. You donāt need men.. so why do you think we will need to give you a day.
Most men I know will do a lot for their women, but they actually deserve it. The average women these days donāt deserve it, the demand it wjthout being worthy
It's probably a situationship where they haven't defined the relationship.
They should make her life special every day, not just V-Day, B-Day, and anniversary.
They must not realize that itās Valentine 💝 Day
@Apple1996
Same with anniversarys
It's a day for business' to make money, and women to feel wanted...
Never giving the man credit for the other 364 days they show their love...
I'll take heat for saying that, bit it's true...
Some I know won't cause it expected on Valentineās day is only day cause āyou have toā not cause you want to.
Cause love shouldn't be locked into on day Valentines day should be every day. These women need to stop complaining cause it's not always about them what did they do you make their man or husband feel special
So true but who's fault is that? It's the woman for staying with a man that treats them like that. And I know for a fact you wouldn't stay in a relationship or marriage where you feel unappreciated right
Effort and gestures matter - does not have to be a big financial thing. To your question, I have no idea but I can't imagine it's a fun or healthy relationship :(
Every day there are fewer and fewer simp men, fortunately, I don't spend money or time on women, in any case, it is the woman who should give me expensive gifts.
Do women ever make an effort for their man? 21st century, we want gender equality, why should the man always be expected to make the effort?
I sure would if my wife was that gal in the picture. Yowza!
I would probably put effort into it but I donāt see why it only has to be one special day when i can be spontaneous and do it on multiple special days in the year 😉
@Apple1996
... Then Valentine's day is not the problem at all lol, it's more that V-day highlights already existing frustrations in a relationship
Because we only "sexualize" women (as it was mentioned elsewhere)?
Men shouldn't put in any more effort than women do in a relationship.
It's a day that my wife and I enjoy expressing and showing our love for each other
Ohk but why expect only men put efforts?
What girls efforts on valentines day apart from receiving stupid rose n chocolate 😂
But but if apple is my wife then I will bring whole world on her knees that much I love her š„°
No one is gonna tell me when to buy flowers. I'll do it when I need to apologize... like a real man.
Because I don't celebrate V day.
Though we did get some expectedly dissapointing McDonald's.
Why would they bother? Women are never satisfied.
Because they suck ass and because women put up with it.
Because it's not important to them.
Women tend to lose respect for simps or men who put their women before themselves.
Why do so many women expect men to do all the effort without doing anything?
Why should we? Women often donāt do anything special for us. You guys wanted equality.
Valentine's Day is a corporate holiday, that is sexist against both sexes.
Not really. It is a holiday about buying stuff. The expectations are that guys buy a woman stuff and she gives him sex if the gifts are satisfactory. It is basically barter based prostitution. Even if you ignore this it focuses on only one love language for women and one love language for men. It also leads people to ignore their loved ones during most of the year to make a grand gesture on this one day. When if you truly loved someone you would be doing small things throughout the year and not save it all up for a one day extravaganza.
She has sex cause she feels appreciated. And no because if a man can't even do it on valentines day then he's not gonna be doing it throughout the year either
Because nobody gives effort into relationships in general.
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