Ive been told my standards are too high and that I should lower them if I really want to find someone to share my life with.
Question is, how low should I go?
How many stories have we heard about a woman who has 7 kids to 6 different men? Or the story about a man who has 6 kids to 6 different women? Perhaps you've heard the one about a woman who had 300 partners before she got married at 28?
Should I lower my standards to non-existent and just take whatever I'm given? If I do, then is there any self respect? Is there something wrong with these people who sleep with just anyone who will have them?
How high should I go?
My friend will only date guys who fit the following;
Must earn more than $70,000 a year in a white collar job Must live in a suburb considered to be of upper class Must own his own home and car Must be very popular and have lots of friends Must be '6 foot' or taller but no more than '6.2' Must have blue eyes and handsome looks Must be clean shaven and short blonde spikey hair Must be muscular, fit and enjoys sports Must have name brand clothing and wear smart suits Must be well travelled Must be romantic and a gentleman Must love to go away for the weekends Must not have children from previous relationship Must not smoke and enjoys red wine rather than beer Must enjoy the arts
So do you think she goes on many dates? Do you think something is wrong with her?
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Formula to my standards
Here is the formula that I have created for myself.
70/30 split.
I will not find a person who fits my standards at 100%. Its just not possible. So I decided what qualities I can and can't live with in my partner.
If he has 70% of the qualities that I am looking for, then I think I have hit the jackpot!
I can work with the other 30% of his qualities and anyway our relationship would be boring if he was perfect.
I can always put the toilet seat down if he leaves it up I can put up with his karaoke singing even though he cant sing
I'd like to share my life with someone but I'd rather stay single than just be with someone because I'm afraid to be alone.
This really makes me consider if maybe my standards are too high. Then again, I won't settle for anything less than what I feel I deserve. Good article! - 2 months ago
I don't think I'd call those standards... they seem more like personal characteristics to me. Standards are more of "I won't kiss until my wedding day", etc. Keep those kinds of standards as high as high can go. But your future soul-mate might not be that 6' 2" fella, but the 5' 7" one. He might not love Classical music but can tolerate it just for you. He might have brown eyes instead of blue. Have your standards--he shouldn't be a smoker/drinker/doesn't sleep around--and stick to them. :-) - 2 months ago
Your friend's standards are WAAAAAY too high. If she's that picky she'll never find someone she actually loves, and will, in effect, just be using them.
I don't know what YOUR standards are, but really all you should be looking for is someone who shares some similar views and interests with you, is attractive to YOU, doesn't push your buttons, treats you well, and is ambitious enough to try to go somewhere in life. I think that anyone really who looks for more than that is being too picky. - 2 months ago
Honey...stick to your standards..please...i have the same problem as you..but I met this guy...and I have never been actually in love because no one would fit my standards...but to me he has them all...besides the fact that he is a complete asshole...i really really like him. and some things you usually wouldn't like you'll forget instantly. - 2 months ago
The mystery of love has a weird way of working out.. people have super high standards, but end up falling head over heels for somebody they wouldn't even expect to meet the standards. never lower your standards... but then again, being too picky takes away from a lot of potential dates. - 2 months ago
OK your friend doesn't understand reality. What if she meets a handsome guy who is intelligent, charming, and has a $70,00 a year salary? But he doesn't own a home because he is currently saving money for it (he is just too young), he's 5'9", has brown hair and green eyes, wears suits you can find at Men's Wearhouse but he will not buy an Armani suit, and likes to relax and stay home most weekends because he is tired at the end of the week? Her standards are actually a contradiction. - 2 months ago
I find men and women with very high standards hilarious.Many times that same person can't fit those standards for themselves but the want that in others.The reason the divorce rate is so high is because we are all still(and getting more with each media output) very superfical.Hot girls get old,rich goodlooking guys get old and might lose thier jobs(or might not be there because the have to work a lot for that salary you love)Where is the real love that overlooks faults because they overlook yours - A month ago
I agree with joecollege completely. Especially the part about overlooking your faults (everybody's got them, and if we were all that superficial and selfish then the human race would cease to exist) - A month ago
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