I Do Not Want a Serious Relationship - Seriously

Article Comments

• GeorginaS
  2 months ago
  stop going on dates if you don't want to DATE! Simple!
  
• GeorginaS
  2 months ago
  Stop going on dates of you don't want to DATE!
• Genya
  5 months ago
  I am a female and think the same. Why people think in black and white - either it's serious utter commitmet or it is an irresponsible hook up? Why can it not be a serious and responsible (romantic, beautiful and exclusive) but temporary relationship? Why does it have to have life-long guarantees? As a matter of fact, holding the other responsible for your feelings and asking for life-long guarantees is not serious but rather immature and insecure. True love asks for no conditions but sets you free
• Bytheseashore
  6 months ago
  Then why do you have sex? Practice? Do you think it's fair to do that to a girl unless she's a prostitute? That's sad. Keep it in your pants, find a pig, use protection, and keep your pigs. Don't play with people's emotions. A guy can do that, a girl gets a name, and thus feels used, and hurt. What is it? You want to 'become' someone first before getting serious? Affraid of commitment? If you're not ready for a serious life, don't play with serious girls.
• RhiannonSTR
  8 months ago
  So you are looking for just sex? If you aren't looking for a relationship, then YOU are the one that is confused. Dating isn't something people who aren't looking for a relationship do. However, the girls who go on a second date with you after you tell them you don't want a relationship are also to blame.
  Advice - say "I don't respect you as a human being - I view you as a vagina in which I can put my penis and if I have to buy you dinner a few times first I will." That would be very clear
• Carol2012
  9 months ago
  I understand what you are saying and I am a women and have told men the same and believe have gotten the same reaction from them also, expecially from men my age and ready to retire from life. I think you need to find a women who is not looking for anything serious also. Maybe someone divorced with no children at home and active also...but younger childbearing women will be looking for a man offering a future.
• candlewax
  Over a year ago
  You're being really selfish here. You're pulling the typical "I'm going to say x,y,z up front to cover my ass, so when the time comes and I screw up, I can refer back to the safety net of my comment earlier on and have no responsibility." If you really don't want a serious relationship, then by all means, get a friends with benefits with established boundaries. Don't go dating some chick for 6 months. That's not casual, that IS a relationship. You're just another case of a guy wanting his cake and to eat it too.
• janet40
  Over a year ago
  I hear what you are saying but you are sending mixed messages. If you don't want a serious relationship then maybe you shouldn't date. Maybe you're afraid of commitment because you want to play the field. It's not cool to go out with a women with the intention of having sex with no strings attached. that is real disgusting. You need to be honest about your intentions and not use that line "I'm not looking for anything serious" .Perhaps you ought to say I just want to be friends.
• usagichan
  Over a year ago
  If you don't want to date seriously, why even go on dates? Why not just amuse yourself with friends and prostitutes for your emotional and sexual needs... then you're not running the risk of hurting or confusing someone. Sometimes actions do speak louder than words, and if 6 months of actions are telling a girl "I'm into you," what you said on the first date (read: DATE) becomes rather insignificant. Because, again, if you weren't looking for a relationship... then why in the world are you there
• AnonymousT
  Over a year ago
  I hear what you are saying but you have to understand exactly what you said yourself. Actions speak louder than words. Someone made a good point that while you may communicate what you don't want on the first date, you don't communicate what you do want. Your relationships are not ending because you weren't clear. They are ending because you're forgetting 80% of communication is NON-verbal! Spending time regularly for 6 months says the opposite of shallow words spoken on a first date? Make sense?
• bkirb98
  Over a year ago
  I'm a single guy who loves being single. There are a few posts on here that suggest that being single by choice makes me immature and "if I were a man" I would be able to handle the responsibility of a relationship. I disagree, being purposely single is a conscious decision that shows a lot of maturity. I would agree others though, tell her your just looking for sex. It works, but don't keep her around for six month. That's just asking for the attachment you don't want. One month and out.
• whateverwhatever
  Over a year ago
  You say you don't want a relationship yet you act like you're in one - seeing her regularly, going on vacation, etc. You think by telling her once that you don't want a relationship gives you free reign to act like an asshole when you feel like it, because hey, you told her, and why is she being all crazy. Dude, you're the crazy one. If you don't want a relationship, pay a hooker or find a booty call. Don't play with this girl's emotions.
• ayyyu
  Over a year ago
  I'm a woman, and I don't want a serious relationship either. If a guy I liked said that to me, I'd have both understood and been relieved because I wouldn't have had to think of a way to say it to him.
  It doesn't matter if you're male or female, some of us are brainwashed with "rules for dating" and some of us are not. Some of us can't fathom wanting a fling and some of us can, or even desire it. Sheltered women may not have discovered the fun of it yet, and that's due to upbringing.
• EmSeattle
  Over a year ago
  How can you honestly say that you haven't led her on. Just because you start off by saying you don't want a serious relationship, you are still leading her on with your actions. What's the point of being in that relationship anyway? Why not just sleep around? I think that you're unwilling to open yourself up to these women, you're still trying to hold on to your "manliness". It's stupid. Just open yourself up to the relationship and see where it can lead you instead of shooting it down so soon.
• noodle
  Over a year ago
  First off...
  Bitches be crazy.
  But seriously these ladies got riled up.. which kind of ticks me of when they talk about men in general. I just got played by a women who said that she wanted nothing serious - which was fine because I wanted something more casual anyways. But then I got "too close to her" and she shut me out? Screw that. Lady below me can eat dirt (or me). ;D
• gogogo
  Over a year ago
  I totally agree with ULink's comment! why the hell do men think that they can bloody say miss you and act totally in love 2 months into dating or getting to know you, only to turn around and say hey I don't want long term commitment or marriage! idiots! they want the nice girl, the romance, quality stuff and treat the us beautiful and wonderful girls like sh*t!
• ULink
  Over a year ago
  Why are you saying what you don't want? Say what you do want, "I just want to have a sexual relationship with you and other women. I don't want you to be upset or complain or get jealous or have any emotions at all. And I want you to have sex with me and look hot when I take you out in public."
• crazychik
  Over a year ago
  What is a relationship if not serious? So you guys have a relationship but it's not serious? That's called f***-buddies.
• sunshine85
  Over a year ago
  Dont get a bloody girlfriend and string her along!!! that's how to communicate 'i don't want a serious relationship!' stay single if that's what you mean, and let your 'romance' of 6 months move on...your holding her back and its really unfair!
• ccc123
  Over a year ago
  Whats the point of going on dates with these woman if you have no purpose or have any intention to have any ending its basicaly going in circles with someone forever. Are you truly at the end of the day not having someone, a partner that you are compatible iwth to have your back at the end of the day, someone you can go to besides your friends or anyone who will eventualy not have your back at the end of the day beacuse they will be settling down probably before the ones who says"your not ready"
• artemis65
  Over a year ago
  You sound like an egotistical, self-centered, self-serving ass to me too. If you're so into honesty, why don't you tell the women you are "dating" the truth... you're just in it for the sex, no strings attached. Point blank and trust me they'll get it.
• yaya21
  Over a year ago
  The problem here is not how you say what you want, but what you want in itself. You want all the comfort, dependability and intimacy that comes with having a relationship and none of the responsibility. You are like a little kid who wants a puppy really bad. Let me act like your mom here and say....... until you can handle that responsibility, you can't have it. Get a fish. When you're a big boy and can be trusted to take care of it properly, you can have whatever you want.
• Standingpretty
  Over a year ago
  After saying that you don't want anything serious, you should also say that you are just looking for a fling, because that will make it clear that this is not going to change I think. You know, I've had guys tell me that they didn't want anything with me, and then have them ending up wanting me so, so women could think of this as a possibility.
• Lee85
  Over a year ago
  When girls hear that you "don't want a serious relationship" we assume you want a) to be only friends or b) a booty call. I know that's now what you mean but trust me, it's what we (or at least I) hear.
  
  Personally, and I think many of my friends feel the same, I can't comprehend why I would want a relationship with a man that had no potential (unless it's only for mutual sex, for a temporary time). In the past I have made the wrong assumption that men feel the same way. Hope this helps.
• kiolomey
  Over a year ago
  "There is nothing wrong with not wanting to commit but this is the bs you have to go through when you want to get laid without strings"
  AMEN
  you get what you ask for, and it obviously doesn't have to be with words, and hardly ever is
• fairyfly
  Over a year ago
  U sound like an ass. does a serious relationship = marriage? y would you continue seeing some1 if you did not care about them? y do you hav 2 b 'looking' 4 something serious in order 2 grow feelings 4 some1 over time? if you choose 2 spend a lota time with some1 it is very possible you will grow feelings 4 them. that is normal, very likely, and y in the hell would you continue seeing them and talking 2 them and spending money on them? go find a 1 night stand

• shelbykate
  Over a year ago
  If you don't want a serious relationship, DON'T ENGAGE IN EVERY ACTIVITY INVOLVED IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP. taking a woman on a romantic weekend vacation or exclusively dating for half a year are both very obvious components of a serious relationship. maybe women take to heart the phrase "actions speak louder than words," and since men in general (and YOU in particular) are so bad at communicating, I think taking that phrase seriously makes a whole lot of sense.
• amysparkles
  Over a year ago
  AND we all know we are supposed to pay attention to someone's actions more than their words, and when your actions are saying "relationship and intimacy" that can be a little confusing.
• amysparkles
  Over a year ago
  I agree with solsuerte, if a serious relationship is not what you are looking for, then what is the point of spending half a year getting close to someone. to enjoy intimacy with no commitment at someone else's expense? and rarely does a man think he is ready for a serious relationship until he falls in love, which usually takes place after the first date. saying I just want to be friends with benefits would be a lot more clear.
• forever
  Over a year ago
  I am not ready to settle down will clear the confusion
• hedwidandtheangryowl
  Over a year ago
  I think it's possible some of the women you date aren't looking for a long term commitment but then they fall in love with you, and realize they could possibly settle down. and then when you aren't interested in the meet the parents ~relationshop stuff~ they're like, oh, well I'm ready to be in a serious relationship now, I will go find a man who wants that too.a lot can change in a person over 6 months, what they want and what they're looking for in life can be completely altered.
  
• pivvow
  Over a year ago
  Sounds to me like you *are* getting yourself into serious relationships with these women. Who cares what you call it? If you spend most of your time with one person, take vacations with them, etc., that's a relationship. I'm a woman, and I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now, but to me that means occasional dates, leading our own lives and seeing other people. If I started spending all my time with one guy and going on trips with him, I'd be leading him on.
• robotteenamerica
  Over a year ago
  Why would a girl like me want to waste my time on a guy who just wants sex and nothing else? you led tem on for 6 months, that means you are an idiot. start hiring prostitutes, man.
• Gia65
  Over a year ago
  Gee maybe you should established that the relationship will only be actually friends who f***! Girls always think if he falls in love with me then he'll want the long term relationship. You should be flatter.........and guess what sometimes you can't keep screwing that particular girl because like you she know what she does and doesn't want ...............! There is nothing wrong with not wanting to commit but this is the bs you have to go through when you want to get laid without strings.
• OnoNw1
  Over a year ago
  Would not being in a serious relationship also make room for an open relationship though? it would seem natural that your girlfriend for thrills should be able to seek out others in case she wants someone more serious about her and a relationship with her.
• solsuerte
  Over a year ago
  Maybe try taking responsibility for how you are contributing to the confusion. If you are not interested in a "serious" relationship, it seems silly to keep embarking on one (by spending lots of time with one person, getting to know them, going on holidays etc). If what you want is sex with a few frills and no commitment, just say that instead. There are other's out there, like you, who might take you up on your offer...you might not like it so much when the table's are turned tho'.
• A-R-Norman
  Over a year ago
  A UCLA study showed 93 percent of communication is nonverbal - Another study: 7 percent by the words, 38 percent by voice, and 55 percent nonverbal-- so yes, one can give a look that says love, no research needed...
• A-R-Norman
  Over a year ago
  Maybe it is the women you are choosing. Perhaps you need to find an older established woman with her won goals--one that doesn't want kids (I know a few). Simply saying what you want to someone with different ideas won't work--u will always be at odds.
• Acuzio
  Over a year ago
  "I'm not looking for a serious relationship,"--but I'm open to finding one. That's what women (and men) hear, and it becomes a challenge. A clearer statement would be, "I don't want a serious relationship," though you might be perceived as a player.
• ihavenoclue
  Over a year ago
  Through history, culture and religion we've all been molded to accept the idea that dating is a treasure hunt for our life partner. Ok, no one wants to be old and alone, but why can't people just enjoy their youth? It's about experience and insight!
• timey1
  Over a year ago
  I'm a big believer in honesty. And I'm always surprised how many other people aren't--both male and female. How many guys believe a woman when she says "No." They think they can convince her otherwise, and it sounds like the women you date think the same.
• schmoopy
  Over a year ago
  I think that the confusion comes from the fact that early in a relationship guys usually don't say that they are looking for a long term commitment. Crazy at it seems - your statement is probably not taken at face value.