I think that men who cry are weak, pathetic and should be ashamed for doing so, do you agree?

Question

Men are supposed to be strong and never cry, no matter what.

Not even when someone close to them dies (they can be sad but not cry, crying is just going to far)

Crying should stop when you are 12-13 years old. Men who cry are pussies. They should suck it up, man up and set an example for younger boys. Real men are NOT emotional.

This is my opinion, what are your thoughts?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I do NOT agree. Crying isn't a sign of weakness, it is actually a sign of strength and the fact you're a human.
The society nowadays thinks crying is weak. You cannot live a life without joy and suffering, it includes crying too. Even if you think crying is bad, but let me tell you, the people who cry more are actually mentally tougher, even for both woman and men.. :/

Tears are healthy, they can release sadness and grief, they release stress, they help PROCESS grief, they help us know how we feel, it makes your head more clearer, heck, when people with depression cry it can help them feel better for a while after a good cry.

If you give yourself a good cry, you are standing infront of your emotions. Even the so-called "weak" one's.. Without crying, we are not human.

If crying is (proven) very healthy for everyone including men here, why should we all bottle it up just because it looks embarassing and weak? That will infact make you feel worse and you will regret it once you bottle up your emotions trying to 'look tough'. Do you really wanna bottle up your emotions just for others? Truly strong people are vulnerable and sensitive. Weak people are the one's who say emotions like crying are a weakness. But they can change, and so can you.. please try to change your opinion, your opinion can be very triggering to others.

Don't be afraid to cry, even if you have to cry infront of people. Just let it all out. You are brave if you let your emotions do the work. :)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

honestly, I do not blame you for your thought on this subject because it is society has puts belief upon people. Men and women are both human beings so if women cry then men can cry. sure you may say crying is not an emotion but it is a way of expressing emotions, whether it may be tears of joy, tears of grief, or tears of anger. the pressure that society has put upon men to be tough and to never show weakness has damaged so many young boy's minds. it has completely ruined the equality that men and women should share. crying does not make you a pussy, it only makes you human. its fine if you want to believe that men shouldn't cry, but you're only hurting yourself by believing that. bottling up your emotions and suppressing tears only makes it worse. why do you think so many men turn to drugs, alcohol, and violence. those are the only ways they can let their feelings out which is bad. sometimes you have to think FUCK what society says, fuck what people think and if you want to cry just cry. who cares if someone calls you names and offends yo because in the long wrong its your life and your emotions is the only thing that should matter.

AmyDove · Accepted Answer

Humans feel emotion, why should men have to live their lives as if they don't care about anything. Showing emotion shows passion, it shows you care. Is caring a bad thing? My boyfriend is sensitive and he cries sometimes if someone's hurt, if a friend or family member has died. I would think it odd if he didn't.

Key to a relationship is communication, how do you do that without emotion?

sithis4ever · Accepted Answer

So then, instead of crying, should a man just angrily scream, punch an object, sulk, or *insert angry reaction*? Because our culture says that men shouldn't express any emotion other than anger. Men are looked down upon for being too happy, sad, scared, or disgusted all the time. But are praised whenever reacting with anger. Anger is supposedly considered a manly emotion. If not the only manly emotion. You say men can express sadness through other ways besides crying, but NEVER explain how. And you'd be wrong by societal standards by saying men can be sad when only anger is socially approved. In other words, when life gets too hard, men are not to cry but instead just get really pissed off.

And then with women, it's a complete inversion. Women are supposed to express a whole variety of emotions but anger. Society seems to think that women who are angry all the time are bitchy and need to lighten up. So in other words, women who cry are emotionally tender, but men who cry are weak. Likewise, men who get angry are manly, but women who get angry are bitchy.

At least these are all double standards I was told to believe in while growing up. I'm not sure what to think exactly, but I do wish we could just do away with double standards. But alas, life just isn't fair, and ironically, that makes me mad.

Bobbyspiecher · Accepted Answer

If a man won't cry in front of someone it is because he is afraid of being seen as weak. Feeling sad and reacting to that sadness isn't weakness. Hiding feelings out of fear is weakness. A man who is afraid, is weak. It's not easy braving the scorn and rejection of what has been deemed socially acceptable for anyone. In fact, it's blood curdlingly terrifying. Anyone who decides to be who they are in the face of judgement is deeply strong. I agree that crying looks weak, but it's a superficial weakness, and a deeper strength. Obviously if a man crys over spilled milk, sure. But sometimes, like if a man suffers a great loss or is deeply moved by something, he should embrace that release. And he should walk away from anyone who takes that gift of being able to express what sometimes lays outside of language or stoicism away from him. Life is too precious to let the opinions of others stand in the way of our relationship with the fullness of this world, ourselves, and the universe. Fear is for the weak.

gabrielugay · Answer

I am not saying that crying is bad, however, it is very important to practice emotional control. Because crying is a private activity and should be done only in private. As an 18-year-old guy, I learned that it is essential to practice emotional control. Therefore here are my tips whenever the urge to cry happens. First, try to pinch yourself or apply physical pain, it does not have to be too painful. Just a pinch in the skin will help. You can also fake smile, this really helped me a lot. I remembered having a strong urge to cry, I tried making a fake smile, it was very helpful to me. Other things you may even do to laugh at yourself and make jokes. But if the urge to cry is too strong and you cannot handle it anymore, then it is important to excuse yourself and find a place where no one is around. I never cried in front of anyone for almost 5 years and it is a blessing for me never to feel like crying again. I learned to defend myself from crying. Instead of letting my guard down and being at peace, sometimes, it is important to have to learn to say no during the right situations. Learning to defend yourself is a key principle to never feel like crying and master your emotions. I am not an expert, this is just based on my experience but hopefully, this can help you. Even tears of joy should be private, never let tears out in front of anyone. If you are telling your parents or therapist or psychiatrists your problems, and the urge to cry happens, excuse yourself so that you will continue your streak to never cry in front of people ever. I am in grade 12, about to graduate in a few months, if ever the urge to have tears of joy happens, I will excuse myself from the situation no matter what. Even if I have a speech and I am in the middle of speaking, the urge comes, I will excuse myself and pretend that my stomach hurts so I can go to the restroom and let it out, but I am sure that it will never happen to me again because I am already in grade 12 almost college and 18 years old. I am a grade 12 student who is 18 years old and practiced emotional control for almost 5 years. Plus I am a guy, not a girl. Thank you.

Anonymous · Answer

Not even when someone close to them dies (they can be sad but not cry, crying is just going to far)

^Ah alright, I see.
First off I'm going to give a few facts about myself, I'm a 32 year old man, a Marine vet, I work in construction, I weigh 235 lbs and am 6'2". I am by no means "not a real man", whatever the hell that means anyway. So you're telling me that I'm not only a "pussy", but also apparently "not a real man" because I cried when my wife was killed in a car accident?
My guess about you just from your statement is that one; you more than likely do not have a very high caliber intelligence, two: certainly have no real sense of what makes a man a "man", and three: probably are an all around terrible person that no "real man" would ever have anything to do with, even if he had half the I.Q. you do.

There's not a damn thing wrong with having emotions, it's what makes you a human being, regardless of gender. I hope you do realize the "real man" you speak about would more than likely end up being a sociopath who would have not only have no problem abusing you, and your children, but wouldn't even care if you died and could potentially kill you himself. Because a person who is like you describe, is not a normal, stable human being.

I really hope you end up finding this guy though, you sound great for each other.

swanhild · Answer

Honestly, as a woman who never cries even in private or shows emotional vulnerability to literally anyone, the viewpoint that crying=weakness regardless of genetic identity is bullshit. The truest weakness is in holding it back, holding it in, and never ever letting yourself be that exposed. Because it takes a helluva lot of trust to let someone see you at your most shattered. Everyone breaks, most of us are already broken, and it takes enormous emotional strength to accept that and deal with it. Crying is a physical cathartic release--and I'm not talking about the few tears leaking out when you break a leg kind of crying, but something that arises out of emotional versus physical pain. The latter is a simple biological response like sneezing and should be accepted for what it is. I'm woman enough to admit to being a coward when it comes to facing my own emotional wreckage. I've lost people I loved, animals I loved, spiralled down into some pretty dark places, watched loved ones deal with some pretty twisted stuff, and I'm empathic enough to feel the pain they're dealing with as if it's my own. And I won't let myself cry. I never let myself cry. That's not strength, it's the most cowardly act I'll ever commit because I'm too scared to deal with what hurts me that I won't even face it. It isolates me. I never let anyone close, I never let anyone in. I'll take on their pain but I can't ever share mine because I refuse to accept it. So all it does is build up inside and build up these walls and yeah, one day it'll destroy me and I know it. And I'm still too much of a coward to face it. Trust me, the ability to show emotional vulnerability is a strength because the alternative is unthinkable.

BuchitaBuchys · Answer

I'd say the opposite. Sorry, whoever told you crying makes you weak, is wrong. It makes you human. I'd like for my man to be able to openly express himself even though there are obvious ignorant people like you who think otherwise.
If he can't show emotion properly, I'd feel like I was dating a robot or an android. I don't think bottling emotions is healthy at all.
I wouldn't want him to cry over every little thing, I don't think women shoudl either, but if they watch a good, sad movie, or if a relative died, yes they can cry.
If you want to hide the fact that you cry alone at night, so be it. But men and women are allowed to show their emotions and not act like damn robots. Lol wtf. This site has a lot more trolls than I expected

StaciJ · Answer

IN MY OWN OPION:I was brought up with this saying " a man isn't a man until you see him cry ." This is hard for me to except .Because most of the men I know are these big strong guys , who act like they don't know how to show emotions . I know a couple of men who cry watching movies( like Old yeller and so forth). I think it is awesome that men can show emotions like this at times, not all the time ( but some of thetime .)  It is a big turnone for me and I find it atractive as well.

basketballchick · Answer

you can keep thinking that men are supposed to be strong and not cry, but it is a proven fact that men are more likely to commit suicide if they keep their emotions bottled up. i had never seen my brother cry, ever until his girlfriend broke up with him, a girl he was inlove with and my brother has been through some seriously toough times.
i disagree with you unfortunately, to me if a man cry it takes true bravery and strength to let your raw emotions flow, yes you are strong if you dont, but your far more stronger if you can let your emotions flow and move pass the shame of it.

MazakarBaby · Answer

I think a guy who cries in front of someone, especially a cute girl or someone he likes, is stronger than any guy out there. It takes a lot of guts for a guy to cry in front of anyone and to be able to do that, is just a brave person in my book.

:)<3'

wolfman39 · Answer

I don't blame you. I used to share this belief. In some societies, including the one I was raised in, it is believed that men shouldn't show emotions. I tried to live up to this standard for a while, but the truth always shines through. That truth is that men are human. We cry too. It also kept me from dealing with my emotional issues for a long time. You can be successful and still have a shitty emotional life. That's how hard it is to get your emotional side handled. That belief just adds a bigger handicap to an already difficult task. Emotions are just as much a part of us as our arms and legs. There's no point in cutting it off.

IHateMeganFox · Answer

Men shouldn't cry for idiot things... like there was this guy in middle school who was crying cause he dropped his tic tac on the floor and that was going too far. If a man doesn't cry when someone close to him dies or something tragic happens I would think something is wrong with him.

RedThread78 · Answer

I disagree. Everybody deals with their emotions differently as individuals. There is nothing wrong with crying once in a while as long as it doesn't consume you and you become an emotional wreck.

Personally I rarely if ever cry.. even at funerals. It isn't a macho man thing it is just I deal with things differently. When something is bothering me or somebody I love passes away, when I'm alone I take time to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and sit in silent meditation. I also had a father like you who would discipline me if I got to emotional as a child so that probably has something to do with it as well.

YouKnowThatGuy · Answer

I'm sorry you're too insecure with yourself to cry when you hurt. Do you hide your laughter when you're happy in fear somebody might see you? I'm human, I feel, I react, and I have no concern about what other people think about it. Weak? I'm not weak, I know this. Whether anyone else sees it that way is of little concern to me. Good luck in your efforts to keep up the facade that you're strong because you don't show pain. (doesn't mean you don't feel it.)

-StillWater- · Answer

Not true at all!

...on the other hand...I only believe in crying when something truly terrifying happens... -or when you see a really touching movie or hear an incredible musical composition. If a guy cried because of a musical composition I'd LOSE MY FREAKIN' MIND! =) (in the best possible way... xD)

ilovelamp · Answer

Disagree, that's just more mind control.

Did you know that when you bottle up emotions, after time since you don't let it out it starts manifesting as physical illness and/or mental illness? It does. Did you know that the stress hormone cortisol is released in tears when you cry? Unfortunately i am one of those men who aren't able to cry anymore and haven't been for a long time. And it sucks. Does that make me a real man? Fuck no, that's not what a real man is, not even close.

Drednaught · Answer

No, that's actually quite judgmental. If males are not emotional, and not meant to cry, then why do they cry? Why is it part of our biology if this is the case? Crying is actually quite helpful to relieve stress, and is actually very beneficial. Suppressing the urge to cry is actually damaging to your health. Also there is another problem. If men are not emotional, then why would we be doing anything? We'd essentially be doing nothing. There would be no reason, no emotions motivating us to do anything whatsoever.

killbenlanier · Answer

Oh, so, if you watched your wife or child breathe their last breath after battling cancer, you wouldn't cry? Got news for ya, bro. You're afraid of people thinking you aren't a real man if you cry over something worth crying about. That's a really bad thing to be afraid of.

AliceMcKay · Answer

No I disagree, while I believe that a guy cries less than a girl, I think that a man totally cut off from his emotions is disturbing...especially if someone has doed. I would rather him not bottle it up.

huntusa · Answer

Dude If I will beat the sh*t out of you then definitely you will cry sh*t load. Most likely you will run to your Momma.So grow some Pubes first and then talk about being a f***ing man.

Long story short everyone has a breaking point.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Men are human. Would you think a man weak who cried when his child or wife died? People say men can't show emotions because it makes them look like a wuss. I say I would rather be with a man who can cry with me then a man who can't and makes fun of me for being emotional and crying about some sad movie.

toulouse · Answer

I think everyone should be strong and stand up for themselves and not cry. if you MUST cry, do it in private. 12-13 is much too old for anyone to be crying in public. Real people , know how to recognize, and keep their emotions in check. Real adults,  do not delude themselves into thinking their emotions do not exist, only to flare up out of control, when they, and everyone around them, least expect it.

MCheetah · Answer

Okay. Imma kidnap and torture you for a week or two and see what day you end up crying for your life and/or out of the sheer pain inflicted to you. I'm guessing by the 9th hour, you'll break. Sure hope you don't have kids, cause if you do, imma make you watch what happens next.

I think that men who cry are weak, pathetic and should be ashamed for doing so, do you agree?

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