Why guys say girls have too high standards?

Question

I'm sick of guys telling me my standards are "too high". They're not. I've noticed that guys seem to bitch about girls that "expect too much" and want a "guy that could never exist", when in reality, there are many guys that meet these so-called "high standards". I've come to the conclusion that guys bitch about this because it makes it harder for them to get women. Although some guys are well-rounded (looks, brains, success, personality) many guys aren't. If most women walk around with high standards these men won't be able to get any.

I've seen way too many gorgeous, smart women with guys that aren't as good as them and it p*sses me off. Girls, there's nothing wrong with wanting a gorgeous, smart and successful guy who treats you well.

OpenClose · Accepted Answer

Well, think about this:

-The standard for physical attractiveness for women is thin or curvy. Anatomically-modern humans have been around for about 200,000 years. Obesity and weight problems have been around for 40.

On the other hand, a man can't just be "thin". That isn't enough. Skinny is weak. You need muscle to be a "real man".

-Most guys are fine marrying a woman whether she makes more money, less money, or doesn't even work. Generally, girls don't seem to like the idea of being a primary provider. And if a guy doesn't have a job and wants to be a "house dad", girls run like it's the plague.

Otherwise, why would women still expect men to pay for dates?

-All the time, I hear "A real man would pay for the meal", "a real man would...", "a real man would". At the same time, you see a lot of "A woman shouldn't be expected to...", "You're a jerk for liking thin girls." etc. "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."

Men are expected to meet whatever standards women can muster just to be considered men. While men aren't supposed to have much of any standards for women, because all women should be beautiful to all men. No matter how far down the rabbit hole they go.

I myself hold myself to these gender-neutral rules:

1. Don't expect any more from others than you yourself can offer.

2. Don't feel bad for not meeting someone's standards for you, if they don't meet them themselves.

3. Your genitalia does not entitle you do anything unless you want the 50's roles back.

Simple rules, really, and I hold firm to them.

Let's test them, shall we?

-A guy should pay for the first date. (FAIL by rules one and 3)

If I pay for the date, it's because I'm being generous. If I have to keep paying for dates, I'll question your effort as my girlfriend.

-The MAN should make the move. It's his job I shouldn't have to. (FAIL by rules one and 3)

Women are more sensitive to being offended by advances, and men aren't as used to such emotional expression. It's a ticking timebomb. The woman is in a better position. But in holding to these rules, I don't make such an expectation.

-The man should propose (F 1,3). (I want to propose, but because I want to, not because I'm a man.)

-A boyfriend should offer his time, courtesy, and understanding. (I say this passes. And I say she should do the same. If not, leave.)

There are many more. But really, almost any gender-specific expectation women have for men fails these rules.

Also, way to insult those girls who are in relationships with "lesser men".

I'm alright with any girl who has high standards, so long as they can be reciprocal and so long as she meets the standards herself.

Hunterboyz · Accepted Answer

I'm sorry I can't meet your critieria because of the way I was born...

:(

I feel I meet all the others though...

I'm only 5'7 myself, but I feel you...

I for the longest couldn't date a girl that was taller than me...

I just couldn't, but it changed...

I was just talking to a co-worker about how shallow I used to be...

I had to shake my head.

I agree deeply that you should be attracted to the guy, he should treat you right, he should do all those things that I guy should do if he was looking for your courtship.

I remember when I told myself what type of female I couldn't go for...

& there is still a great majority that I wouldn't go for...

& in all honesty, I sound just like you...

I can't settle for a female of lesser value...I don't want to say it like that... because I don't care about how much money you can make.

I felt like, I couldn't dumb down for a female...

Like they have to be able to keep an educated conversation.

That crap WILL become irrelevant. Not saying he won't have a great personality, but what if he isn't sucessful? What if he's not "gorgeous"?

You will fall in love with someone who doesn't "meet the critieria"...

Love doesn't work in the way that we want most times...

Watch the movie...ummm... what's the name... "Something New"...

Please believe me when I tell you, I understand completely how you feel.

I'm Electrical Engineer, with inspiration to be making at least 100k per year...

Working on my Masters...

Just turned 26...

I love having fun...

I was raised by my mother, so trust me, I know how to treat a female.

I'm a christian guy.

I want a family, with the whole american dream.

But because I'm not ideal height, I won't fit your cateogory.

Although that guy is somewhere...

I urge you to gather more wisdom on the matter.

There is no replacing the love of someone that loves you for you...

& not because of what you have. This is speaking from your future mans POV.

Because of the things you've named, most of those can be taken away from him.

:(

I truthfully wish you the best in finding that happiness.

If there's any thing I can advise with, I extend my understanding to you.

Sincerely,

A Loving Black Man

Pytbull · Accepted Answer

You're awesome...btw, my name is Tara...it's a pleasure. Everything you have mentioned I completely agree with! Sometimes it gets lonely, but the best things come to those who wait.

Bards · Accepted Answer

Nah nothing wrong with it. Hahaha but this was pretty mean. 😆 but get what you want.

brunohusker · Answer

Okay, here are the good things that I see in your post

1. you are right, there is nothing wrong with wanting a gorgeous successful guy who treats you well. Everyone one should be able to chase who they want. It's not having high standards to want a certain person.

However I saw a few things wrong with your post

1. You say many guys aren't well rounded. While this may be true, maybe you are being a little harsh on some guys. For example a guy might be just great, but not that good looking, are you just going to throw him to the curb because he isn't "gorgeous". It just sounds like your judging guys a little too harshly and men do the same too

2. You say you've seen too many women with guys that aren't good enough for them. What do you mean by this. Are they not the best looking, are they not the smartest or not what you want them to be? Sometimes people can love each other in spite of having problems. If people were perfect life would be boring. Also maybe these girls give more guys a chance because they know deep down they will be loved by these guys.

Overall, while your'e right that you should be able to date a good looking and successful guy, you need to be careful that you are not too picky. I'm not saying date teh next drunken slob who hits on you at the club, but be a little more considerate. You might be rejecting a great guy because he isn't good looking enough or smart enough or whatever. You don't have to lower your standards, but maybe look at more guys and try to see what they offer before just flat out rejecting them as not good enough

Thermal_Reboot · Answer

Asker justifies her preferences for tall handsome and successful and she has a right to insist on her own standards, however she'll also have to expect to go through life bitter and lonely. Only about 25% of men are 5'11" or taller. Further if she wants a successful guy and assuming a standard distribution, only about 8% of all men in her age range will meet her criteria. That means that 92% of all the available men will be ignored by Asker. When you consider that 95% of women are 5'8" or less then that means that the guys Asker wants to date have 95% of the entire female population available. That means for every guy that meet Asker's criteria there are 12 women available to that guy, because most guy's don't have an idea of what's too short in a woman to date. Asker will have 2 choices in her life. Either open up her requirements in a date, or expect to share the tall guy with other women. She'll also have to expect that the older she gets the less desirable she'll become and where the tall guy will be able to date younger women she'll have less to offer.

armyant · Answer

Of course there are gorgeous guys who are successful and smart and so on. The question isn't can you find them, the question is what do you have to offer those men that the dozens of women they're already banging can't.

It's pretty well established in the scientific community that a tremendous majority of the sexually active unmarried women in the US are sleeping with a considerably smaller group of 'alpha males' and the rest of the guys get comparatively very little action. I know you want the best -- who doesn't? -- but the competition's kinda rough.

Lacutis · Answer

You say in your comment to to wanacot that you are (just) looking for a tall, educated, successful, driven, funny, ambitious, open-minded, interesting gentleman but in your question you say gorgeous, smart, and successful. While some would say your standards may be a little on the high side, it's your choice who you go out with.

The flipside of that is that you really don't have a lot of room to complain when your pool of eligible men to date from is on the shallow side because you can't find many guys who meet this ideal you are looking for. So it's kind of a balancing act as far as expectations versus reality.

creativemindeightyfi · Answer

Looks, education, and money should be the last things on a list when judging what a good man is. The main focus should be things like character and virtue. Is he a good person? You make it sound like he could be Hitler on the inside just as long as he is George Clooney on the outside. What I gather from this little rant is you only look based on sexual desire and physical attraction. You don't care about the shape of ones soul. I'm not saying you should date hideous slobs of men but don't judge on appearance alone. I mean Brad Pitts are great but so are the Jonah Hills of the world. They deserve just as much respect.

cmale123 · Answer

Yes there are guy out meet these criteria but you got to for him. That guy is smart so he know his worth. Your chances getting this guy almost slim to none. He won't chase you, you won't meet what he looking for and lastly these guy are smart enought they only can play with you and not serious with you

KidanisCortes · Answer

Hey you can want what you like or what you want it's your life. I personally have NO luck with women. I'm ugly, short and I work a shitty job and I never once complained about a girls standards. I understand why they do it and People can't help being attracted to what they are attracted

wanacot · Answer

What exactly are your standards that guys say are too high?

TheSpartan · Answer

I agree with NWA when they say "A bitch iz a Bitch"

Anonymous · Answer

Did you ever find the right guy?

Why guys say girls have too high standards?

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