Should I text her after the date or not?

Question

So every time I go out with a girl on a date (1st date), at the end of the night after we part ways about 10 minutes later I'll text the girl and say "I had a good time, would you like to see me again?".

My question is, is it ok/should I say/ask that, or just part ways after having a good time, go home and contact her sometime the next day?

I'm confused because I've asked this question to some of my friends and half of them say don't say anything and half say it's ok to text and say/ask. I'm confused. =(

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

first off..fairyfly is right.

you should never EVER say "would you like to see me again?"

think about anybody you look up to as a man.

Imagine James Bond. Even though he's a fictional character, the things he say's and does to women DO happen in reality. Trust me.& he would definitely never say something like that. am I right? absolutely I am.

asking her that shows her that you are unconfident. & that you are unsure about yourself.

a question like that shows her that she has control of your "relationship" and more importantly..you.

**in your head --"was I good" "was I cool enough" "does she like me" "i really like her" "i hope she likes me".. Bad..Bad..BAD.

basically..keep your insecurities to yourself..she can read them & you don't want that. At all.

you should know whether she wants to see you again by the time you guys part ways at the end of the date. A girl that is really into you, will let you know for sure.

if for whatever reason the date came to an awkward conclusion and you aren't sure..the last thing you want to do is ask her THE NIGHT OF if she "wants to see you again." that's something a little boy does..not a man. why? because a real man doesn't care what she thinks. it was the first date. it should have just been fun..& showed her that you are a guy worth being around. asking her if she "wants to see you again" shows that you are all in for her. you don't want her to know that. you want her to think that MAYBE she has a chance with you. that MAYBE you want to see her again.

just think of it as hanging out with a new guy friend for the first time. you wouldn't ask him if he wants to see you again lol..that would just be weird. same thing goes for the first few dates with a girl.

in the end..don't contact her the night of. or the next day a few hours after you wake up lol. Just text her at lunch and say "hey! I wish I had some more of that sushi from last night lol" or something innocent like that. she'll respond. & if she doesn't..well lol, that shows how interested she is (which is not at all).

goodluck dude. learn to not make those critical mistakes. because they can be fatal on your heart. they set up the rest of your relationship (if there will even be one at that point)

Littletad · Accepted Answer

Usually you should discuss seeing her next time near the end of the date. An hour later is perfectly fine to say, "I had a good time". Nothing more, nothing less. Or if your afraid of coming off as clingy, you could make it the next day.

To avoid saying, "When can I see you again", since it' sounds desperate, I usually say, "We should do this again". This gives her a chance to give her input and next availability.

rainydaydreamaway · Accepted Answer

Well, if it really went well and you've let her know, face to face, at the end of the evening that you enjoyed yourself and want to see her again and she seemed enthused, and you still feel like texting her that night, go ahead if it feels right. Women like men who will take a risk for their affections. But keep the text short and sweet. Say "that was fun, looking forward to seeing you again" or something like that. And if she responds right then, it means she is cool with that. If she waits till the next day or longer, slow ur flow! Match her pace and don't rush her.

Women are different. Some will want to hear from you that night and will be really happy you texted. Others who like you will feel like that's too quick and may just respond to be nice because they had a good time and you are nice but this makes them feel unsure, and still others will see you as clingy and either dump you or take advantage of your feelings. And then there's the psychos who wonder why you waited 10 minutes and wonder what kind of jerk you are for stringing them along for a whole 10 minutes! Avoid them like the plague!

There is no solid answer because it depends on the girl and her pace and the chemistry/ connection between you. So don't try a "one-size-fits-all" approach... tune into HER and see what fits HER.

Then take a step back and see if that works for you before you make another move. If she is too detached or too eager, it may not be right for you. Your pace matters too. But again, it's all subjective and depends on the circumstance, her pace and how the connection feels for you.

Good luck to you! :)

nique23 · Accepted Answer

I think it's forward and straight to the point. If she had a great time she'll be happy to receive that text and if not that's on her. I think what you've been doing is working it doesn't come off as desperate or clingy.

mariefaye · Accepted Answer

do what ever your feel is ok. personally I was always think its nice for a guy to txt beck after a date

ryanontario · Answer

well you maybe don't have to text them back rate away , it could wait till the next day or a bit later than what your doing . myself I wouldn't feel the need to say anything rate away if I had just been with the girl

beast209 · Answer

My experience they either usually text first then I reply or I'll text the next day. You don't want to come on as desperate or stalkerish. If everything is kool, then before you drop her off more than likely she'll talk about next time

fairyfly · Answer

that's 2 soon. do it right b4 bed or mid afternoon the next day. and 4 god sakes leave out the 'would you like 2 c me again' part. omg if I wanted 2 c you again and you said that I would change my mind right there no offense ;) lol you could say 'i had a good time' or 'i had a good time, lets get 2gether again soon'

prettyjules15 · Answer

Do not text 10 minutes after a date. It's a complete turnoff. A couple of months ago I had a first date with a guy and he texted me right afterward. It seemed weird and clingy that he wanted to talk to me when we had just seen each other so I texted him for a while and then made up an excuse to stop. When he texted again like an hour later, I decided I didn't want to see him again.

meetmehalfway · Answer

girls don't like desperate or clingy guys. you should definitely text her the next day maybe even at night.believe me we won't think you are not intereseted as long as you do talk to her afterwards. not texteing her until the next day will keep her mind on you all day long believe me :)

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