Is dirty talk considered cheating?

Question

Okay, this is the scenario.

One of my closest friends (whom I will call Friend A) and I are really comfortable with each other. However, his best friend is my ex, whom I dated for over 5 years in the past. Though we contemplate on how it would have been if we hooked up, we never acted on it because of our loyalties to my ex.

However, because of this, this created a strong sexual tension because it is 'forbidden'. Recently I've gotten into a new relationship and its rather fresh, but even though I now have a boyfriend, Friend A and I began to chat more intimately about what sort of sexual things we would have done with each other, naughty scenarios and stuff. Very detailed too.

I know we will never act on it, but does this dirty talk behind everyone's backs considered cheating? Or is it really not a big deal?

epavlova · Accepted Answer

How would you feel if you caught your new boyfriend engaged in intimate chat sessions with some other girl about sexual fantasies? Would you be okay with that? Didn't think so. So I guess you shouldn't be doing it either, right? If you are in a new relationship, seems to me that's where you should be directing your energy (sexual and otherwise). If you don't want to do that, maybe the new relationship isn't worth continuing, and you should focus all your energies on Friend A instead. Just my two cents.

dharness818 · Accepted Answer

You aren't cheating, but you aren't exactly loyal to your guy either. Any time you have feelings for someone else it's a sign that your present relationship isn't very gratifying. I say you talk to your ex and see how he feels about you dating his friend. Then talk to your boyfriend. To me its obvious you don't have the same feelings for this guy as you do for friend A. If the ex says he's fine with you dating his friend then go for it.

LilMiss · Accepted Answer

It can lead to cheating if enough tension is built up between the two of you. And although it's not cheating by just talking about it, it's disrespectful and inconsiderate of your guy's feelings.

str8mex4u · Accepted Answer

It would only be a big deal if you act upon it or are speaking with intent to act upon! Don't try to lie to yourself you either want him or don't-no need to be teasing each other.