Lately me and my boyfriend haven't been talking. I thought is was because of my job, recently they have been given me really crazy hours. So I realize my boyfriend seems distance from me. So I asked him if he lost interest in me. So he gets all mad and says no but you act like a love sick puppy and its not attractive... so I asked him how am I acting. Then he couldn't explain himself he said you just do. Am I smothering him? What should I do? I barely see him, I give him like 5 txt messages a day. And its nothing lovey dovey. The last emotional thing I told him was that I missed him 4 DAYS AGO!
Some people have a different threshold for affection of any kind.
Even further, some people have a very different definition of what constitutes affection over what another person views as affection.
The spectrum ranges from broad to specific, and in this case it's possible his view on affection is very broad.
The other possibility is that he's not into you anymore, which happens.
In either case, it may be best to move on.
The latter for sure, because if he's not into you, you'll only be involving yourself in a counter-productive relationship where you are never loved.
The former is where you have to do some self-evaluation and compare it to the relationship. One of the things that a couple must agree upon in order to succeed is the level and intensity of affection expressed between the two people.
If two people can't agree on this issue, then the relationship will be unfulling for one, and smothering for the other. Leaving both people upset, angry, and wondering what went wrong, and possibly altering their view of relationships for good.
If you feel you can compromise your level of affection to become more in-line with his, then proceed with the relationship. If you feel what you want from a partner is not too much to ask, and that he is being unreasonable, then it may be time to leave.
Simply put, this is something people rarely ever change about themselves, and one of the few universal truths in life is that you cannot change others, you can only change yourself.
Try as you might, no one will change for you. They change themselves because they find it necessary, and while a person may be a motivating factor, the decision comes down to them wanting to make the change.
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