Been in an affair for a year and the wife found out?

ok here is what happened:

the guy, lets call him joe, wanted a little cooch on the side, maybe some adventure, spread his genes and throw around another woman for some time, cause he is a hotshot and what not. but he is also sloppy and thinks that he is smarter than others, everyone thinks that by the way...

yes of course he begs you to stay, after all you are his entertainment when he is away from home.

now suddenly the hotshot looses his job and has to get back to his woman at home.

and because he is getting his there from his wife, he gets distant with you, the reason why he keeps contact is because, well yeah, you never know when hotshot joe is back in town...

but from this alone you can clearly see where he puts his loyality. so now because he is sloppy, his wife was suspicious about the calls, he had all the time and probably checked his phone and computer, and found you.

she confronts him about being the good housewife, staying at home all the time, watching the kids etc. while joe is out f***ing all the time thus loosing his job, at least that's what she thinks and even if she doesn't she probably said it, because she is angry.

because he thinks he is smarter, he tries to play it down, waters the story to something like "oh my, we were working so hard, until late at night, had a few drinks, to loosen up, it only happened once or twice etc. etc.

because he is not smarter than his wife she calls you right away to confirm his story, and sloppy joe did not think about that, he didn't tell you what to say, so of course the lie breaks his neck, she throws him out.

now joe is back in town, although not quite how he imagined it to be, especially since he is running low on money and space to live, so he does the next best thing, he tries to move into your place, cause hey, its free.

but since you and your place are only second choice, he asks his lawyerfriend, or counselor to help him get out of this mess i.e. get his life and wife back, cause if she divorced him he would loose not only the house but also half of his remaining money, maybe more cause joe is at fault and he probably didn't make a marriage-contract.

now his counselor friend tells him to get out of your place immediately, because any second he stays at your place he is slowly impaling himself on a divorce since obviously that would mean that he feels something for you because he immediately went back to you after she kicked him out.

anyway, what he does is trying to get back what he lost in the first place after being shocked and not knowing what to do when his wife kicked him out, he stopped at your place, f***ed you for good measure and to calm down, sleep think of a way to get back into the game.

either he is fighting the divorce, or he is already fighting his wife.

in either case he is probably not coming back for you unless he lost horribly and is broke at which point he will also be unattractive for you, since the time he was attractive has gone you just haven't noticed yet.

cheers

for all the haters:

(I know my answer isn't really comforting but far from flaming)

your comments are useless.

people do immoral things, wether they are aware of it or not, and wether you bitch at them or not.

it is simply because of limited resources, and yes limited options.

now the older you get, the harder it gets to find someone, hard to understand for some 16-25 yrs. old person but that's how it is. for women the game ends sooner but not by much, and so they get increasingly desperate once they near 45-50, after all you want to have your own kids, a man that supports you and loves you etc, there is just not much time left to do it all.

so suddenly you see roads where you would have never thought about before and you also walk them down because a chance, even if it is very very slim, is still better than nothingness.

i would even go as far as to say that everyone acts that way once he runs out of options.

there is a saying that I can't recall exactly but it goes something like this "only those that have enough of them can afford to ignore options" - once things get tight, everything that is thinkable will also be done at some point, as long as you still have a thread of hope left.

think about that and yourself really long and hard before you bitch, it only makes you look really stupid and immature (but that's just my 2 cents so whatever right?)