How would I make a guy leave his girlfriend for me?

Question

I knew this guy for over a year now and he always shown me that he is interested but never made a move because he didn't think I would give him a chance. after we started talking, I really started liking him and he seemed nice but he told me he doesn't have a gf.

after awhile I figured out that he has a girlfriend but I couldn't stop myself from thinking about him or meeting him.

i even lost my virginity to him. he told me that he is not serious about his girlfriend and he will leave her if I am serious about him. the next day I saw them together. it really hurts me that he is choosing her over me.

i am trying to stop myself from thinking about him but it is hard.

what do you think I should do? fight back to get him or just try to forget it

vivian3306512 · Accepted Answer

Lose him, all women know how feels to want a guy to be genuine about his feelings for us when we've fallen for them hard. Girl, I feel so bad for you... I know exactly how you feel...and so does EVERY other girl on this planet after they've fallen for a charming guy whose actually a douche bag. Yes, you're going to be really heatbroken for a little bit while you still have feelings for him but it won't last for as long as you think if you make yourself not talk to him AT ALL. If you keep responding to his texts or try to talk to him you'll never get over him.

Also, the best advice I can give you for not having regret over losing your virginity to this guy is to try and remind yourself that you wanted to do lose it to him in particular at the time and it's not your fault he tricked you for his own benefit. You should try and see the experience as good because it was meaningful to YOU when you did it and most importantly in the end it taught you a REALLY valuable lesson about what guys you let sleep with you in the future.

CuddlyCarla · Accepted Answer

First of all, why would you want to be with a man who didn't make a move because he didn't think he had a chance. It appears he slept with you but wasn't willing to take it to the next level then chose someone else and you are still pining over him? Doesn't sound like boyfriend material or a desirable male at all. Why would you also be with a man that revealed to you he wasn't interested in his girlfriend? Then why is he with her?! Honestly, this guy sounds not only confused but not genuine, none of this behavior sounds like a real man (the kind you'd want to be with). It's possible you feel that attachment because you lost your virginity to him, but that doesn't mean you owe anything to him or vice versa. Move on and find someone who knows how to treat you and care for you the way you deserve. If he hasn't made a choice yet, make it for him. By the way, you can't make a guy do anything. People do what they want, and if they haven't made the choice you wanted, why sit around and keep feeling bad about it?

Tamikaze · Accepted Answer

He played you. He is having his cake and eating it to. Face it, if he breaks up with his girlfriend, he loses her. But, if he keeps you as his side girl and he keeps her as his girlfriend, then he gets everything he wants right now. There is no real way for him to break up with her and keep her too. Plus that is so much drama. Why would he want to deal with that drama when things are working fine the way they are?

Hey, I think this isn't cool for him or for you either, knowing he has a girlfriend, but this is what he is thinking. He's not in love with you. He may not even be in love with his girlfriend. He is selfish and enjoying what he's got here. Put him on notice. Drop his lame ass.

jamesjems · Accepted Answer

You're both a bit messed up.

He is, because he's with someone he knows he shouldn't be with. He's obligated, out of respect for her, to end that relationship.

You're a bit messed up because you're considering the disrespectful option of breaking in on his relationship. Adults don't do that. At least adults that are good people don't.

Sometimes we live lives of frustration. Timing is everything. Sometimes are timing is off and we don't get what we want. We learn to deal with that. Adults are honest with where they stand – and you've been honest in communicating your interest – and adults are respectful of others even when they don't get what they want.

sumina7 · Accepted Answer

Seems like you and he are made for each other.

You had no qualms about sleeping with him when you knew that he had a girlfriend. (Agreed that he told you he is not serious about her. But you did not tell him that you would go with him only if he leaves his girlfriend.) He cheated on his girlfriend with you. So, he is in the same boat.

Let his girl friend know that he slept with you. Tell her that he loves you and not her. Call him up and tell him that his girlfriend is no good, you are better. Call her up and suggest a threesome. Whatever.

If you can break them up and make him your bf, you will do thae other girl a favor.

itssarahloveee · Answer

One word.. DRAMA. You obviously really care about this guy, but you can't let him win you over. He's got a girlfriend so the best advice I could give is to just back off... plus, even if he does choose you, what's going to happen the next time someone he likes comes along? If he did it to you, he'll do it again. And guys don't change no matter how hard they try to convince you that they have, they have patterns of things that they'll continuously do and you can't be the one to 'fix' it, only getting older and maturing will. Girl, he's simply not worth your time.

Hustlerr14_ · Answer

i would just forget it. guys with girlfriends are BADD NEWS. it isn't your fault what so ever. I know how much it hurts, trust me I have been there. I started dating a guy who left his girlfriend of 10mo. for me but then he went back to her when we were together and I didn't know she when I did find out, we broke up but he still showed interest in me. when his girl found out she was p*ssed and went physco bitch.

he told me the same thing this guy is telling yu, trust me on this one, not worth it. there will be someone better out there for yu. (:

soho_spice · Answer

I really disagree with what a lot of these people are saying. This guy is not married. The point of getting into a relationship is not to see how long you can stay with a person or how faithful you can be or abiding by a certain set of rules.

What we really do it for is to see if you are compatible with that person, and if someone else comes along, then you can go for it. I don't think what you're doing is terrible.

He is on the other hand not being very fair to his girlfriend. If he slipped up and slept with you once, then he should decide if he's going to stop sleeping with you or break up with his girlfriend. He's being a bit of a p**** and lacks integrity or respect for his girlfriend.

Tell him he has to man up and stop being a d*** to his girlfriend. if he can't stay faithful or honest with her then he needs to end it, not only if you want to be with him.

Anonymous · Answer

Oh honey, you can't do it. I'm sorry, but you need to be patient. If you force him to, you won't be happy. If he leaves her for you, he could easily leave you for some other girl. It sucks you have to go through this, but it's best to move on, or at least leave him alone. Chances are they'll break up anyway. You can't force it, and the longer you try, the longer it will go on.

I tell you this from experience. I knew a guy and I really liked him, and he had a girlfriend. I tried so hard to break them up, and in the end he still chose her, and I ended up looking really cruel. A year later he broke up with her anyway, but he wasn't talking to me anymore, and it ruined my chances then. If you really like him as much as you say you do, leave him alone. Let him be happy. Be patient, the guy who I worried so much over? Six years later, and we're now dating. ^.^

I am really sorry you have to experience this, I know how hard it is.

Coenie · Answer

It's a difficult situation , If you lost your virginity to him , he might think bad about you . Depending on how the guys personality is . I would tell him your demands , and tell him how you really feel .

You know the old saying : If you chase two rabbits , you won't catch either-one .

He doesn't sound like the commitment type .

Good luck

mallygrl · Answer

dude if he says hell get serious with you only if you will then TELL HIM! you may never get a chance like this again. ever. so take it. he says he will leave his girlfriend if you'll get serious. you should tell him you will. girl you lost your virginity to him! he has to mean a lot to you. you should fight for him. fight with all youve got

sarahjohnston09 · Answer

That man just played you. men are never serious about leaving someone for you. he just wanted some sex. You really need to just get over him and find someone that isn't all talk. he will not leave his chick for you and if he does you know he will just do the same thing to you. he is a player they talk the talk and never walk the walk. find someone that treats you right and doesn't lie.

justme91 · Answer

To me, this guy is not worth it. He lied to you about having a girlfriend in the first place, and now he's sleeping with both of you. He's lied to you and I doubt he's being honest with his girlfriend, and he took your virginity with very little thought. I don't think that he is likely to leave his girlfriend for you, or vice versa, since he's getting sex from both of you! If I were you, I'd be the better person here and get well rid of him.

sherrybaby · Answer

I would definitely say try and forget about him because who's to say he wouldn't up and leave you for some other girl even if you 2 did get together? but I know that it's hard to do that without closure. you need to get closure some how. either an argument with him or you telling him where you stand and if he doesn't do something now, he's losing you forever. take a stand for yourself and your feelings.

VERONICAJ · Answer

wow that's a hard one...i kinda got the same thing going on except we haven't had the chance to really be alone yet but I know that we have hella chemistry... but I think you need to be up front with him and just ask him flat out what do you want say do you want me or her and say give me a flat out answer and if he chooses her then he's not worth your time and he doesn't deserve you it will hurt but just look at it as there's someone else out there that wants you and that will treat you reight. And if he does pick you then you make sure that you let him know that he better not do what he did to her to you behind your back and if he wants to be with someone else while your together than to let you know was up before he cheats so you won't get hurt by finding something out...good luck

Anonymous · Answer

I hate to say it but your being played by him.He doesn't care about you nor wants to be with you.Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone that did this to his current gf? He'll do it to you,if you ever became his girlfriend or you'll constantly wonder if he is,since he did it to girl before you.I know that breaking it off with him will hurt but best you do it now.I know it's hard since on top of everything,he's your first but he's not any good.

Anonymous · Answer

just becuase he says he's not serious about his girlfriend doesn't mean that he really isnt. you don't know what he's doing behind your back and what he's saying to her.

if he's willing to leave his girl he has now, then you have to think about what if he will leave you for another girl.

if he's saying all this stuff to you while he has a girlfriend you don't know what he would say to another girl if you two got together.

you deserve someone better then him.

Anonymous · Answer

you slept with him after you knew he had a girl...losing my sympathy for you! you're a side piece and he's telling you what you want to here to keep you hanging on and still f***ing him.  ignore him and try to move on. he's not worth it, he will end up hurting you even worse the more you try to hold on.

Nols13 · Answer

if I were you I would make him jealous. hangout with another guy and make sure he sees you with him. maybe give him a kiss and talk to the guy that you actually want about him. and just see what he thinks about it. then get the conversation going about it. ask in a playful voice if he's jealous and if he says yes, say well you could have had this but you never went for it. but still have that playful voice. and just see how it goes.  because if he wants you he will break up with his girlfriend for you :) good luck :)

Anonymous · Answer

i have been in someting lik this... I didn't fight back. he is a jerk. he doesn't really want u... he was using you to get ur panties&&u were weak and thought you were in love so you did it! dnt try to get him back; he isn't for u... he isn't what you want... he isn't real&& honest, if he did this to his girlfriend he will sure enough do this to u&& and bad as it hurts I kno jus move on  because the right one will come, and you may have thought you lost ur virginity to him but you were only rushing so you did it  because you thought he would stay with u, dnt waist anymore time on this fool. the person tht did this to me spread rumors and all this other stuff abt me... but be careful and dnt let it get to you don not show ur weak, donot cry-be strong  because payback it a bitch; he will get his!

Reeses-pieces777 · Answer

first of all, you know he's taken, don't keep going after someone who's this two faced and a player. second, I'd spread sh*t about him and third, there's more decent guys out there

RedCali · Answer

First of all you should never want to steal anything from anyone.

Secondly why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

I'm a strong believer in Karma and if you steal something from someone, you will get something stolen from you.

enlightenment · Answer

well it sounds like he already said he would leave if you wanted him to.  Now your saying you want him to.  So what is your question?  You already cheated on his girlfriend with you, so morality isn't the issue.

Anonymous · Answer

HE PLAYED U, BET HE TRYED MAKING YOU FEEL SORRY FOR HIM AND MADE IT LOOK LIKE EVERYTHINK IS YOUR THOUGHT. BET HE ALSO BLANKED YOU ALOT AND HE USED YOU HES MAKING YOU ADMIT ALL YOUR FEELINGS AND MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOL BELEAVE ME I NO THIS FOR A FACT 100 PERCENT TELL HIM YOU DONT WANT HIM IT MIGHT HURT BUT YOUR GOING TO GET HURT IN THE END

sanmangyi · Answer

Forget it. Don't be a homewrecker. She probably likes him very much and I'm sure you wouldn't want some other girl trying to mess up your relationship. He's a player and if you involve yourself with him anymore, you could potentially get your feeling very hurt and start a lot of drama with the other girl. Just leave him alone.

mwardlaw · Answer

Let their relationship run it's term. Imagine how you would feel if roles where reversed and YOU were his GF... He lied to you about having a GF, don't you think he would lie to others the same way? He sounds like a douche bag...

Cartiphilus · Answer

In my humble opinion you need to let him realize on his own which girl is better for him you or her.  You could always show to him you that what he doesn't like about her he won't find with you.  Just continually provide a better choice to him.

Anonymous · Answer

How damn selfish can you get?! You want to destroy someone else's relationship just so you can get a certain guy. Actually no, I hope you do get together, you well deserve each other, and after he's played you for a while he can find someone else to tell he isn't serious about his current girlfriend. Selfish bitch.

Namrata · Answer

well since you lost your virginity to him... YOu have to decide how important that was to U! Go with your instincts! if you really care about him... YOu should fight back to get him! but than again you don't wanna act desperate! He really has to care about you too! but if he doesn't care about u... or doesn't show any interest in you... try to back off a little bit! YOU deserve better... someone who cares about  you and is as interested in you... as much as you are in him!

dontknowanymore · Answer

I know it's hard, but he played you. Time heals all wounds. You'll find someone soon enough. God bless.

jOsh_tOthemax · Answer

gawsh dammit, wait for the relationship to end first you can still like him but that's not fair to his gf so be patient let him come to his senses he'll do it if he really likes you :|

Anonymous · Answer

I say if you love him he is worth waiting for, Let the relationship run its course. The only thing about him is his lack of honesty , which would make me question if i wanted to continue with him. He is not married so he is not a bad guy for dating you , however intimacy and dating two women should not be something he can continue for a long period of time, it says a lot about his character if he is if he can. He should have been honest with you regarding his feelings for his girlfriend and gave you the option to make your decision about pursuing something with him. No one has the answers about what will be , be strong what ever you decide.

bettsyboy · Answer

if you make him leave his girlfriend for you, then how will that make the other girl feel? you would break her heart just to get the man you want? thats despiccable!

Anonymous · Answer

You don't...respect his relationship.  Think about it for a second.  If you can draw him away from some other girl, don't you think the same thing can happen when you two are together?  There are rules - obey them.

somedude555 · Answer

stealing a persons boyfriend or girlfriend is just dirty...  if they break up then go for it, but don't try and wreck a relationship just because you like the guy.

Anonymous · Answer

Stop thinking about which girl he is choosing.  Think about why you would want to choose a lying cheater.  Put yourself in the driver's seat and stop leaving this up to him.  He's a jerk.

what-do-guys-want · Answer

Nobody likes a home wreaker, and the sound of it, he has played you, messed with your heart and then left you there. Move on. You wil never break him and his girlfriend up.

TexPlayboy · Answer

well.. I would say he is worth leaving alone, but if you sure you want a life of misery and drama, go for it. Good Luck, James

mirtamz · Answer

i hate to say this but  before I had slept with him I would have found out more about him and made sure he didn't had a girlfriend. and if he wanted only for sex and he knew he had a girlfirend I wouldn't sleep with him even if you wanted to.  I'm sorry but you have been played and you could do so much better than that

GeneNowok · Answer

Well, obviously his girlfriend is prettier than you. Boys and men can have sex with any girl cause love and sex are not connected together in men like they are in women.

confusedguy2310 · Answer

You can't if it's who he really wants to be with that's who he is gonna be with and that's how it is

Anonymous · Answer

You are just a booty call for him, GET OVER IT! HE PLAYED You CUZ UR AN EASY BITCH.  DONT STELL OTHER GIRLS MAN, A$$ HOLE. GET UR OWN MOTHA FUKA

BrokenLuvMichelle · Answer

go after that stupid bitch.then get ur guy back.

CutiePie99 · Answer

Thats Pertty Messed Up

sweetycakes · Answer

how old is he ?

How would I make a guy leave his girlfriend for me?

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