Teen pregnancy?

Question

My boyfriend and I are in engaged, and yes we are 17. But I was talking to him about having a baby right now. at first he said no then he thought about it and he said yes so we started not using condoms but I didn't get pregnant, then his mom said something. and he said no again! because he didn't want to hurt his mom (when he hates her and doesn't want to live with her) but what he doesn't understand is that he HURT ME! what do I do?

(I still talk about having a baby like everyday!)

beachtexasgirl89 · Accepted Answer

of course he doesn't want to have a child yet.  He's 17!  He may have a fantasy about marrying you, and vice versa, but frankly, I think that's a bad idea too.  At the age of 18 (when my  boyfriend at the time was 21), I thought we might get married, and I really fancied the idea of having children with him.  I never officially brought it up, but I knew that if it did happen, it would be "pretty cool".  He even said he would marry me if it happened!  But eight months later, I realized we would have been bad together.  People grow and change.I'm only 19 but I'm nothing like I was at 18.  Just imagine how much you will grow!  I know it sounds stupid coming from me, because this isn't what you want to hear, but why are you in such a hurry?  Having a baby isn't just like having a cute little thing around.  I don't have kids, and even I know this.  First of all, you won't be able to go to a good college, but if that doesn't bother you, there's more.  Not only will you probably gain weight, but your hair begins to fall out slightly, your boobs sag because of nursing, and forget about your vagina, which will probably look quite different than it did before, and will be looser.  No 17-year-old boy is mature enough to be a father, although it is (unlikely) but possible that you are mature.  Why do you want to have kids before you get married?  Let's just say that your boyfriend is the one, which maybe he is, but why do it so early?  Having a cute little baby at 18 is fun, but think about having a 13-year-old when you're only 30.  You're going to want some time without a kid to have fun with your husband and party.  You won't be able to go to parties and drink when you have a kid because the kid will see that and it will be a bad influence.  And maybe you don't party now, but you're going to regret not being on your own for a while (even with your husband counts as "alone" in this case)

Shlei3 · Accepted Answer

Not a good idea. I am sorry but right now you are too young financially, emotionally, physically. The thing is, getting married at 17 is already a big decision. Plus the first few years are very very difficult. Marriage is a serious commitment that can be very hard at times. Plus having a child is very expensive. I would say wait a few years until after you are married. Should you have a child and you and your fiance get married and then decide that neither of you wants to be married due to it not working out then you not only have divorce to deal with but being a single mother and a lot of financial difficulty. Please don't be so quick to grow up.

pearl1979 · Accepted Answer

A baby changes everything. Its a big decision that will effect the rest of your life. I was 20 when I had my first then 24. I am single now raising two kids by myself. Its hard I barely make ends meet. I don't regret having my kids I just wish I would have had them when I was prepared.  His mom is always going to be his mother he may not agree with her decisiones but he is right in saying no. The both of you are too young to have children. Wait. enjoy life save money get a house be prepared. You guys will be blessed in the end.

justthefriend · Accepted Answer

OK I kno you didn't ask this question to hear this but you are WAY too young to have a child. enjoy ur life, and if you guys get married enjoy ur married life alone for a while, a child changes everything and your young have fun.  you have sooooo much more time 2 have kids, I kno babies are cute I love em, but they are a HUGE responsibility. just think about it

ilovelegs · Accepted Answer

First off I agree with just about everything that's been said already, but I'll add a few things.  Since you're engaged, why not at  least wait until you're married so that your child will have the benefit of a mom and dad that are married?  An out of wedlock child isn't the greatest idea for a child to start out in this world.  Also, even though everything look rosy right now, there's no guarantee it will stay that way until you get married so at least wait until then.  There's an endless list of things that could happen to interfere.  I understand your desire to have a child now but I really do think you're acting too immature in your wanting to have a child in a time of your life where the responsibility or raising and caring for a child  will be more than you now realize.  It's easy to look at someone else's little girl all smiles and dressed cute just starting to walk with her mother but it takes a lot to get to that point. If you're planning on going to college why not get started first and then see how things look.  Do you feel all set financially with a job and a place to live?  Please don't be hurt by your boyfriend because he probably has had second thoughts, but it seems like both of you should have had a nice little sweet talk before his just saying NO!  The very least you can so now is to just let the dust settle and rethink all this and then see if together you can come up with the very best decision for both of you. .

CD-Brock · Accepted Answer

if I were you, I'd re-visit the idea of having a baby at a younger age. I'm not saying that you're not mature enough so don't get me wrong. it's more the idea that I beleive that two parent's should be financially stable before bringing a baby into this world. kid's aren't cheap, nor are they super expensive, but they do change your life dramatically. Are you both finished school with steady incomes? If you are certain that you want a baby, I can tell that he's not ready for such a commitment. you're both young. no need to rush such an important decision. Hope some of this helped and I am in no way discouraging you in having a child. I just hope that you'd understand that perhaps your fiance is not ready for such a commitment yet (but that doesn't mean that he won't come around in the distant future.) Let me know how it goes.

regards,

CD

Atomizer · Answer

Your boyfriend said "no" to being a father at 17 because he's smart.

It doesn't matter if he hurt you by saying "no" to your wanting to have a baby. Get past your emotions. 17 is way, way, way too young to have a baby. If you're obsessed with having a baby, you need some counseling or therapy. Period.

Think about when you were 7 years old: remember the things you liked in life, your interests and goals. They're different now, aren't they? In another 10 years, you'll look back at when you were 17 and feel the same way.

Don't get pregnant at 17.

You will regret it.

End of story.

WeaponZero · Answer

youre 17, your body isn't even done developing.  having a baby at your young age not only puts the baby at a higher risk for birth defects and health problems but also without a college education you're in no financial position to raise a baby.  you're doing it for all the wrong reasons.  raising a baby isn't something you do for yourself, its something you do for the baby.  if you two have a baby right now you will be an unfit mother and that kid will grow up to hate you.  you're a kid who hasn't yet learned most of lifes lessons, and kids shouldnt be raising kids.  having a baby at your age just because you want to makes you greedy and inconsiderate of the babys needs, while you WILL NOT be able to fill.

lefthand · Answer

Having a baby is a hot rail to poverty. The hormonal need is powerful but you aren't ready for it yet. Go to college, build a career and then you will much more ready to raise a happy child. Patience, having a kid now is about the cruelest thing you can do to the kid and yourself.

blackworm66 · Answer

NO NO NO girl if you are 17 that's a big not. Not only is it  not good for you as having a baby or sexual activity raise your chances of having brest , cerical, and countless other cancer. You baby is highly  likely to have a birth defect down syndrom, still born. Enjoy youth travel, get a career make the big bucks! Your probably not going to be with your boyfriend for the rest of your life trust me. I know you love him more than anything in the world but for now enjoy what you have.

sterex69 · Answer

Kids having kids is never a good idea.  Your body is not ready for child bearing much less your mind.  A baby isn't like playing with dolls.  They are a human that needs your attention 100% of the time.

Anonymous · Answer

wait why are you getting married at 17? is that even legal? why do you want a baby also ur young enjoy the good life! once you have a kid you can't get ur freedom back=]

Teen pregnancy?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Teen pregnancy?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.