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In an age where simply breathing the wrong way could offend someone, we appear to be tiptoeing around fairly insignificant details.For example, labeling someone as that black woman can get you written up at the office, or royally chewed out by the injured party. But where is the offense? As a black woman, being called black has never upset me. It is simply a descriptor; no different than saying someone has blue eyes or blond hair. At times, categorization is essential, not only for census takers, but in visualizing events, for instance, how helpful would I be if, after witnessing a robbery, I simply described the perpetrator as a human being? Interracial dating is not safe from the daunting stranglehold of political correctness, and it can be hard to balance open dialogue with respect for cultural differences.I myself have found that knee jerk responses abound in this particular arena. A minority person may become easily offended by an innocent remark, whereas, a white person may blithely gloss over the feelings of their date with a get over it attitude that can appear racist and combative. In the past, I have been on the receiving end of the latter attitude and frankly, it rankled.Why? Well, if one were dating a person of the same culture, and they declared they didn't like Chinese food, one wouldn't say, Hey get over that! Who cares if you are allergic, that's the past, let it go!
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Saying such a thing undervalues the other persons' legitimate thoughts, feelings and ideals, something you don't want to do when you are trying to win someone's affections. If you plan to date interracially, you have to respect opinions and perspectives that may not jibe with your own.Sad fact is, some individuals harbor ulterior motives when they begin to date someone of a different cultural background, either to try something exotic, prove they are not racist or educate an individual towards a particular political view. This happens on both sides of the fence and can leave the person of interest feeling patronized and condescended to, a pawn in an agenda and not a date. People should date to get to know one another, not to prove anything. In essence, interracial dating is a potential pc minefield, but I have distilled success in this arena down to two basic principles. Display manners and accept varying outlooks. If you are dating a guy or gal of color that wants to be called African-American, don't roll your eyes. It is not about political correctness. It is about the individual and respecting their point of view. When we remove politics and agendas from the racial dating scene, a surprising thing happens we start to see the other person as a fellow human being. In doing so, we find the common ground we didn't think existed, learn a thing or two and maybe, just maybe, find love in the process.
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