Where Did All The Nice Guys Go?

reptilia86

Well said, I wish this could be sent to every woman so they could appreciate us more :) - 5 months ago

katiesmuff

Amen! I thank my stars every day that I woke up and realized that the jirks I was in relationships with were only after one thing, and usually got it. I now have a boyfriend who is wonderful and wouldn't trade him for the world - 5 months ago

nusoulmusic

PREACH!!!! PREACH!!!! Lord knows how many times I've seen guys turned down because they were "too nice." But the dude that was cheating and being a complete jerk was what they were looking for. After they have been used and abused, they want to look for the nice guy. And this is the PERFECT answer!!!! Well said!!!! - 5 months ago

Thanatos

Heck yes! Every female needs to read this. I've had so many girls used to treat me like this, heck, even if I didn't have feelings for them and was just being a friend, they only called when they needed something. I've moved on from them all, may they rot for all I care. - 4 months ago

Just-A-Random-Guy

Good story, and, unfortunatly, all too true. :( - 4 months ago

Lidepi

Thanks for all the support guys, clearly I was not at my best when I wrote it. Maybe some females will take notice and things will change, although it seems highly unlikely. - 4 months ago

trickstir85

Good article. My best friend is a really nice guy...and I am really nice girl. Problem is that he rather go for sex-on-legs (pretty hot girls who make fun of him anyways). Agreed, girls tend to do this more often..but, even guys can be equally as bad. My best "nice" guy friend is amazing...but, he thinks all girls wants jerks. We dont. - 4 months ago

blaznn

I couldnt have said it better myself!! this is the truest article ive read on here. I go through this with every girl I like, I wish sometimes they would get their heads out of the dumb asses and realize this. I hope you don't mind I'm going to keep this article and send it to some of those girls who will never grow up. - 4 months ago

dowmop

I think you take a very juvenile attitude toward the nice-guy problem. Maybe in high school you'd be right, but actual women *love* nice guys. Granted, as a nice-guy, I don't have the sex appeal that a lot of dangerous guys do, so it's harder for me to get my foot in the door. But once it is, I have the opposite problem of girls getting to clingy too fast.

Plus, I think it's much better to be rejected outright for being "too nice" than be with a girl who secretly harbors that attitude. - 4 months ago

Gia65

Unfortunately, most woman are attracted to the bad boys! It isn't until you get a bit older and realize what is important .......then you like the attentive guy who will hold your hand.........who is calm, caring, knows how to communicate................ - 4 months ago

wildd

Hahaha! ohhh shit I love this! But just so everyone knws... I have never, so far, acted like an "ass bitch" to any of the nice guys I DO knw! So this is a great heads up!

Good-Job person Lidepi :D - 4 months ago

Lidepi

A juvenile attitude? You yourself just agreed with what I said by stating that you have a hard time getting your foot in the door. This article isn't meant to apply to every situation and every stage, but its saying that as a nice guy its harder to get and keep a relationship short term.

Also, take a look at my age. I'm sure it doesn't apply to older individuals, but it applies to me. I'll write another article once I'm older about how I feel. Thanks for the feed back. - 4 months ago

gggggggggf

Dude, women can't help what they're attracted to any more than you can. While you were making doe eyes at the hottie who had her choice of men, there were three other less good looking women who were wondering why none of the boys were interested in them. Where were you? Ah yes, chasing after a girl out of your league.

And when those women say that they want a "nice guy", they don't mean you. - 4 months ago

catcher-in-the-rye

Sorry to hear you weren't at your best when you 'wrote' this. Were you in better shape when you stole it from Craigslist?
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.asp - 4 months ago

Dives

I saw this on Reddit like last year... Originally it was posted on craigslist...

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html

Plagiarism is so not cool. :( - 4 months ago

tizen

Created an account just to reply to this article.... Wow, excellent insight. I wasn't fully on board with what you were saying at the beginning, but the end is spot on. Ya, I was one of those nice guys. I had a girlfriend that pushed me away, so she could be with an asshole. This taught me to be an asshole. Now I'm an asshole, married with two kids. My wife is miserable and still wants me. My ex-girlfriend is miserable, and wants me back.

Women do not teach men to be anything but assholes. - 4 months ago

tizen

Oh and I suppose I should indicate that my previous comment was directed at the original writer of this story. Not the plagiarizing half-wit who posted this here. There is solace in knowing I found this out before I rated the article.

1 star. - 4 months ago

haywire

This pretty much sums it up. I think the balance is where guys have to reach maturity and develop confidence, but girls have to stop using people (intentionally or not). - 4 months ago

Lidepi

I live in Los Angeles, and I originally wrote this less then a year ago. I realize it appeared on craigslist, and I have the original email responses of people nominating the post for "best of". - 4 months ago

Cyberdog900

YES! It is true, it is true as it is written. Ladies, take notice!

For Trickstir85: It sounds like your friend already "shed his mantle"....

Some girls get it though. I'm with a wonderful girl right now, that was looking in all the wrong places for what she now claims I am, the best man in the world. I love her to bits, even if though it took her a while to realize it... - 4 months ago

Mr-Higgins

So true on so many levels.

Women (and even men) who have their heads stuck up their arses don't even deserve the attention of the nice guy (or nice woman).

I was the "nice guy" up until a few years ago. Now I am the total asshole as told by most people. Yes, I'm getting action like you wouldn't believe, but, I find it quite boring honestly. - 4 months ago

pinkbutterfly

Good article. but you know, same can go for guys, and it often does. There is plenty of guys who prefer some brainless hottie over a nice girl because that was they can seem cool.Girls see that and begin asking questions like " oh, do guys like nice or naughty, wild?" Then they try to become what they think guys really want, and then, become girls you've described above. So, I think everything depends on how mature the person is, not whether it's a guy or a girl. - 4 months ago

A-R-Norman

Fair to an extent--but at the same time, men are just as guilty of this. I was a nice girl who men didn't want to be with, I suppose because I wasn't aggressive enough. I met and married a nice guy and so did a lot fo my friends. As I have said in my previous posts, it is not that women don't want a nice guy, it is that they want a certain type of nice guy just as a ,man wants a certain type of nice girl--besides, are we not to blame for our folly of letting someone abuse our love? - 4 months ago

A-R-Norman

Also--people need to start learning from their dating mistakes and stop blaming the world--men claim women make men pay for their past mistakes , but when guy turn into a jerk cause he got burned, he is doing the same thing. At least to female credit, when they decide to grow up and want nice guys that is what they look for, whereas men get angry and bitter and try to make all women pay for one bitch who broke his heart as apposed to sucking it up and learning to grow. - 4 months ago

jcycler

Amen, brother. Amen. - 3 months ago

acealmighty13

This sounds like where I'm at right now. I'm on the fringe with her. She's my best friend and she recently got cheated on and she tried to work it out(which I applaud her for trying). I've been there for her through thick and thin. Now single, she turns me down because she doesn't see me in the romantic sense. But she loves me. In the platonic sense. Great article and I'm a nice guy that's not gonna become the asshole because of a woman just to get laid. - 2 months ago

A-R-Norman

Thanks ace--I wish most men were mature enough to just accept that they need to simply just move on and not punish every woman out there for their own mistakes in judgment... - 2 months ago

GoodManDave

If you plagarized this article, you need to stop.

I think I figured certain things out; at least to a small degree.

I want a woman. Not a girl. The females you are describing are not women but girls. There can be 18 year old women, and 30 year old girls.

Great women are rare, and they usually get "snatched up" quicker than the guys because of the way our culture is. It won't stop me from looking. I just hope I don't become bitter and nasty with all the waiting and pain. - A month ago

Forgetable

The part that gets me the most is typically they'll even turn to that nice guy they're with after their boyfriend treated them like crap and likely dumped them and say "where are all the nice guys in the world" as they are comforted by a nice guy. I feel as though you hit the nail on the head and you did so in a very eloquent manner, thank you. - A month ago

ns-para

Hahaha...awesome!
- A month ago

wally

You just read my mind my only wish is that Any woman say WHERES THE NICE GUYS ????
SHE SHOULD READ THIS AND START TO REMEMBER WHAT SHE DID IN THE PAST !!!!!!! - A month ago

A-R-Norman

Amen Good man Dave--AMEN! - A month ago

A-R-Norman

I just has to respond to this part "You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. " So does giving kindnesses automatically mean you get sex? If my guidance counselors listen to me, does this mean I owe him sex? can't you simply do something nice without wanting to get laid--how does this make you a nice guy at all? And if this was the case you were NEVER that girls friend but a liar and manipulator waiting for a shot to get laid. - A month ago

Lidepi

I said emotional intimacy, meaning that when something goes wrong you always go to the guy for support. I think this is much different from your example of a guidance counselor. This is the guy that you hang out with everyday, sharing all your deepest emotions with. And no, it doesn't automatically mean that you have to have sex with any guy that's nice to you, that's not what I'm trying to say. This was written with someone very specific in mind, not as a mold to fit every girl into. - A month ago

Wtfgirl

I agree to this, not whole-heartedly but mostly yes. I kind of found my way out of the relationship with the jerk boyfriend and into one with the nice guy who helped me whenever my ex had hurt more or everything else you said. I thank you for opening the eyes of many other girls. - A month ago

A-R-Norman

But you made it appear as if you are going to make every girl out there pay because you made an error in judgment. Not all women are playing games if they don't want to give it up to the first guy who is kind--the mature thing to do is move on when you see she isn't interested and don't give of your self until you know the girl likes you back, not become an asshole with an ax to grind with girls. Do some women use men? yes--men use women too! We live and learn--not seek vengeance... - A month ago

cross1022

Bingo my friend. - A month ago

Lidepi

I guess its just my experience. I've dealt with far more women that fit this perfectly than not and that's where this generalization comes from. Sure, its definently overexaggerated, but that's meant for people to look at and think about even more. I mean, clearly its causing a lot of people to stop and think, and that's what I aimed for in the very beginning probably about 4 years ago now. - A month ago

MisterMan

I was the nice guy growing up, always seen as the brother-like figure, never boyfriend material. Luckily I found a Lady who appreciates this Nice Guy.
Good Article. - A month ago

A-R-Norman

I suppose what gets my goat is that if a woman came on here and said "I got burned by an asshole, and because of that, I will tell all women to treat men like the jerks they are!" then you and all the men in here high-fiving you would be calling her a bitter, angry bitch.

why--she is sayign nothign no differnt then what you are.

Bsides, I was otssed aside by guys who cahsed afrter bond bimbos--I kenw I coudl give them the lvoe they desires--they called me thier "friend" while they kept gettig - 28 days ago

A-R-Norman

Damn this writing template--anyway--what I was saying was, guys are JUST as guilty of chasing girls who look a certain way and not caring about the inner person --until they get burned by the heifer--then they want to become vindictive. what you are doing is destructive, not constructive.

why is it your idea that you are supposed just be handed any girl you want? some guys have it easier--so what? - 28 days ago

A-R-Norman

You don't think it pisses me of that some blond chick can get promoted ahead of me or some guy catered to a low life girl who played games while I sat at home dateless--I was THIRTY-FIVE when I finally met the man I wanted--what are u, 21? WTF?. You are not going to get what you want- just handed 2 you--and a girl isn't obligated to like you just because you are NICE--you have to be compatible--share the same goals...all you did was make men angry about a situation they cannot control.. - 28 days ago

A-R-Norman

Besides, don't you think it is entirely possible that you, like the women you trash, keep making the same dumb choices in woman for the same unenlightened reasons and that is why you have had bad experiences. why a are you telling men be jerks because shallow girls do shallow things? There is a battle going on between the sexes and telling men to be assholes is not the way to stop the war or to foster communication -- it is only a call for revenge...and on to my final note - 28 days ago

A-R-Norman

What you should be saying is you won't waste another moment on a girl like that, even for revenge, and you will reserve all the kindness, door opening and flower giving to the girl who loves you, appreciates you and treats you like a king as I do my own "nice" man. Sure--Chad may get all the babes, you may be 35 when it happens, but who cares! Wouldn't you rather have something real than to say you scored with 100 brainless Buffy's? Think about THAT and get off the bitter rants...! - 28 days ago

A-R-Norman

Oh yeah--men who hi-five about this article are high five-ing misogynistic, bitter, woman hating HATE SPEECH... - 28 days ago

Lidepi

Clearly people agree with what I'm saying, even women. This is an overexaggerated story meant to overtly point out some truths that women share. This is more of a satire on how shitty women treat men than a nonfiction story.

Most women are horribly shallow, especially at my age. You are thinking in the generation in which you grew up, and I'm sorry but its outdated and you have not experienced the new generation of college age kids in america. - 26 days ago

Lidepi

And I should also point out that you say men shouldn't expect things handed to them for good personality or whatever, but women expect that everyday. Not even for personality, but just based on the fact that they're WOMEN. And to top it off, good looking women expect things handed to them just for their good looks.

You've got to take a step back and realize that I've pointed out some pretty accurate things, and apparently you have a problem with how society is right now because that's it. - 26 days ago

NMMan

Am I the only one who thinks this article actually perpetuates the "nice-guy syndrome" by taking the blame from the people where it belongs? Yes, sometimes flaky women will dismiss good guys, but more often than not because the "good" ones are creepy, needy or insecure (usually all three). Women want secure, confident guys who will truly respect them, and it's clear this bitter author has both a hatred of women and a martyr complex that would humble Jesus Christ. For your own sake and that of your future happiness, grow up. - 11 days ago

Undercoverlover

This letter is one of my favorites as I share it with many of my female friends. Being 32 and friends with a very large group of VERY attractive younger women, I hear about this scenario all the time.
Today it's true many women and men alike are shallow. Seems some people look at a significant other as a fashion accesory or confidence builder versus a soulmate. I noticed though, the ones who hate this letter ARE the shallow ones! "You want the truth? Well YOU can't HANDLE the truth!" J.N - 5 days ago

Where Did All The Nice Guys Go?

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