GUYS: How should I act when he goes into his "cave"?

[enlightenment]

My man goes through stages of time where he wants to be left alone, usually lasts a few weeks. I need help figuring out how to give him that space. Should I ignore him at home? Should I act normal at home, but just leave the house a lot? I need advice please!

[ryanrhino]

When guys want to be left alone, then do just that. However, for a few weeks, that's pretty selfish. I'd say maybe for a day or two, but it sounds like he has some serious issues he's dealing with alone.

The next time he's calm or just getting over his "retreat" simply ask him what he wants you to do. When I want to be left alone, I like a quiet house, but appreciate when someone is there to help me. It's kind of selfish, but having someone there to support me is just awesome.

I think he'll gradually reduce his cave time once he realizes how much he cares about you and how much you care about him. It is extremely trying to be with someone when they're at their worst, but they are that much more grateful when the reflection time has passed.

Oh, yeah, and I'm an Aquarius, too, so I can understand why you care so much about him and not wanting to affect him.

It's go time for the Age of Aquarius!

[enlightenment]

haha...I know little about astrology, why does being an Aquarius relate to me not wanting to affect him?

[ryanrhino]

I can't remember where I got my information from, as it was over 8 years ago. But, regarding astrology, I tend to take what I want from it and just use it to make me better. How can you really know someone about when they're born? I'm a rooster per the Chinese annual animal - yeah, right - I'm not that at all! And I am NOT being sarcastic. And, wouldn't all people born in 1981 be roosters - nope...

[ryanrhino]

Aquarians have the capacity to dig in their heels and wait for what they want...no matter how long it takes. They think a lot - as they levitate towards the lofty realm of the intellect. They go wherever their thoughts may take them. Exceedingly loyal, an aquarian may be forever expanding his/her horizons, but never forgets his/her friends and he/she never reneges on his/her committments. Aquarians use their intense heart energy to help those who are less fortunate, and to effect change.

[ieatcows]

other then sounding like a book below me its true...i honestly say like can you just leave me a lone? I'm nor mad I just want my space...but sometimes a day or two is enough sometimes I need a week in which case I'lll go on a trip to somewhere else and ometimes I just cat get enough space and want a month or more lol

[themastaplan]

his cave...hmm, does he have a room? why is he so negative to you during that time?

whats the root of the issue I guess I'm trying to get at...

i wouldn't change much, but try and kind of stay out of his way when he seems in a grumpy mood...

or as I always do with my gf's when its that time of month...KILL WITH KINDNESS - it always works, well makes them feel bad about being a bitch...

just be there for him when he needs you and ask him how his day was...if he's going to be a d*** about it maybe you want to re-evaluate your relationship, because sweetheart, this shouldn't be teh case all the time - you're his girl he should be going to you when things are sour in his life

hope this helps! GL :)

[enlightenment]

aww.thanks. It's mainly because he is stressed I think...work and his band.

[Anonymous]

Do your own thing. I've noticed that some guys like their female to be near them, but not actually talking to them. Read a book if he's watching TV or do a hobby in the next room. Make a meal and eat it outside, talking about the surroundings instead of life issues. Etc.

[ieatcows]

this ones good :) and true sometime I just want to see them but not talk and break my thoughts lol their presence is good...when people just live their own life and fo watch telly in the other room or make a cake or go talk to their friends or go for a walk or whatever

[DebiPie]

Everyone needs their space & alone time. But weeks? nonono! That's weird. And it's selfish. And it's probably a mental health issue. When he says he wants you to leave him alone...I'll bet he still wants you to cook for him, right? Sex? wash his clothes? Hmmm?

[San_Diego_Rick]

Okay I don't want to get astrological in here but is he a Pisces? We do this from time to time it's normal. Just give him some space and he'll be grateful. Don't leave the house a lot because of this! He likes you there. Just let him do his thing whatever that is. He'll come out when he's bored of himself. haha.

[Bluegameroyon]

i'm pisces too and I do this sometimes. except, it doesn't last a few weeks.

i doubt the stars affect mere human beings. but it's a fun thought.

[San_Diego_Rick]

Yes it is a fun thought.

[enlightenment]

He is a Leo and I am an aquarias...does that mean anything?

[San_Diego_Rick]

Yeah that's my best friend and his wife just reversed he's the Aquarius. Your opposites and opposites attract. Your air he's fire. You can look it up if your interested.

[doubleoh]

I think he might be bipolar.