Leave it be. He's not emotionally available especially if he's still in love with his ex. Giving it up wasn't the smart choice but you just have to take that as a lesson learned. He'll realize that she isn't worth it and that he lost a good girl who was there for him but you can't force him to see that. It sucks but I've been in this situation a few times. The guy never leaves his ex who he's in love with especially if she's stringing him a long for a long time. Its best to find a guy who has no baggage, you aren't his rebound, and he is emotionally available for you and only you. You deserve that, leave this one be. You don't have to be friends with him and I suggest you don't until you know your romantic feelings for him are gone. Otherwise you will just make it harder on yourself to get over him.
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You deserve better and don't waste your time on people who like to be treated like sh*t because you like to treat yourself like sh*t. This reminds me of the Aretha song "Chain of fools". We like people who don't like us back because its much more interesting and less threatening than a realmrelationship. The sooner you get over this type of sh*t the better your life will be. Trust me.
Sometimes the smartest decisions to make are also the hardest choices to make. Maybe I am misunderstood your conundrum, but it really sounds like you should just start dating someone else who isn't going to have another girl on his mind, every time he spends time with you. I've been in this situation before, and I got hurt over it and it was brutal for me.
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