Why does my ex boyfriend keep asking me for sex?

I am 21 and my ex boyfriend is 20. He broke up with me in Oct. and we dated for almost a yr. When he broke up with me, I was heartbroken, because he was very hateful. He told me he never wanted to see me again and that he was so over me. Yet he still continued to call me the entire time.

While we dated we never had sex with each other. We were both virgins, yet he kept pressuring me. So I guess I was dumped because I never gave in. So he dumps me, gets with a girl who gives it to him in 2 wks and then they are over.

Now, during the entire time they were together my ex continued to call me, which is weird considering that he was "so over me." Well for the past few months he has been asking me for sex incessantly. I keep telling him no, but he asks almost everyday.

I told him that he can easily get another woman who is into FWBS bt he needs to understand that I am not like that. He replies and says that we can be FWBS and it can evolve, but why do I have to have sex with him for him to decide on whether he wants a relationship with me?!

He then says, I've known people who are 'booty buddies' and they end up getting married. I told him that I wouldn't lower myself to that. Now we do talk on the phone almost everyday but then he starts asking for sex... AGAIN.

Why is he doing this and how can I get him to see that I want a friendship or a relationship, but not FWBS.

I have told him no and he will chill off for a while, but he goes back to the same thing. My ex is a nice looking man, so he can easily get into a NSA relationship, but for some reason he keeps coming after me. I want to continue to be friends with him but it is getting really difficult because he is always asking for sex.

Last month he came over and we just watched tv and he didn't even try anything. Now just about every phone conversation turns into me denying him. He should really know better.

I guess he feels that he has to have sex in order to be in love, but I feel that I have to be in love and feel loved in order to have sex

What advice would you give me? Surprising him and I do get along very well, and can talk for hrs. but then he will start the sex talk and that irks me..

ok you guys, he texted me again and told me that he wanted love, intimacy, and a friendship. However the important word lacking was... COMMITMENT! I asked him why he was so obsessed with me and he just simply said because he wants me.

To Faber Fan: I have one more tidbit off info. I asked him can we just have an open relationship and he got pissed about this. Now wouldn't he be benefiting from this. Him and I connect emotionally but still see other people.


Most Helpful Guy

  • As per your second update. Why would you want an open relationship with him in the first place? Wouldn't you rather have someone there for you in full. I mean, most guys wouldn't even touch you if they knew you were in an open relationship with someone else. It seems odd to me, unless you are hung up over this guy. And yeah he would benefit, because connecting emotionally will lead to connecting physically. But he doesn't want to wait. He wants you now.

    He wants you for one thing and one thing only: sex. I'm sure you are smart and pretty, you can find someone who will appreciate you fully.

    Oh, and he got pissed because he doesn't want you meeting/liking/sleeping with anyone else before him, because he is a jealous child, and he WANTS you all for himself.

    I mean, he broke up with you because you didn't sleep with him. Do you honestly believe he ever wanted anything else from you? Please, ignore him. If you need someone to talk to, just talk to me, message me or something I don't care. And that goes for anyone who needs help.

    • Report

      I will have to agree with faberfan on this one. It seems like he wants just sex from you without thinking about other facets of your personality. Friends with benefits can't evolve into a relationship because I personally haven't seen too many friends with benefits work out to be in relationships period. A relationship is more than just sex but it seems like this guy thinks sex without committment is a relationship to him, but in reality a relationship is built upon more than just sex.