I hurt my boyfriend really bad and I want to fix it. How do I do this?
i hurt my boy friend really bad and he wants to leave me. I got black out drunk one night and came back in bed with another guy. I thought we had sex... Show More
Most Helpful Opinion
Im really sorry to hear your going through this all and I also completely understand where your man is coming from. He probably wonders if this could happen again, even if you didn't do anything, you could have in his mind. Have you showed him the text messages? My advice is to allow him his time to think things over, its still really fresh, and don't pressure him too much to get over it, then again there's also the alternative of reversing the situation and making him feel bad for wanting to end the relationship for something that didn't even occur. You could also just try to keep things as normal as possible and just say baby I love you, I know you love me, lets put this behind us and I promise I won't ever drink again, especially with other men, cause obviously if I don't know what happened there is a problem, he may just go for it, its still fresh as I said, so you have to be very careful about blowing it up too much, and discussing breaking up as even a possiblity...If he loves you which he obviously does it shouldnt be to hard to get to his heart, and you need not be too remorseful for something you didn't do...I hope it works out , I know how it is to say and do the wrong things while drinking, and sometimes to not even fullly remember...Good Luck
What Guys Said 1
"how do I fix are relationship and dix his broken heart and get him feel the love again?"
Among many things, the one who is being cheated suffers a blow to his/her self-esteem (what's wrong with me?)
You can help him by telling him that you found, and read this. This may ease his self-doubt a bit. You are also showing him that you are serious in wanting to restore your relationship.
"A person who cheats has unexpressed feelings and unmet needs inside them, as we all do. However, too afraid to speak their truth and express their feelings, they take out their frustration using other people as their outlet...Our society has a general unwillingness to face those parts of ourselves that are uncomfortable to deal with."
This tells him, "It is not your problem."
Tell him you have decided to work on yourself, to get to the bottom of whole issue --- tackling it at a root level, so that the chance of your doing it again is eliminated, at root level. This, hopefully, will release his biggest doubt, "Will she do it again?"
If you (and him) are up to it, you can work the questions below together. I don't see any reason why not. Yes, this is a major operation, on yourself. It can be painful. The way I see it is ---- if you can go through this, you will have his respect back, at least. It is a good start. How can you love someone you don't respect?
As to the ultimate goal, saving the relationship, it depends how thorough you work these question, and his response to your efforts.
Whatever happens, you know you tried, seriously, to mend the relationship. Best of luck!
The questions are :
Why do you cheat? What unresolved issues or unexpressed emotions are trying to get your attention? What positive feelings do you get out of the experience? What negative feelings come up? These will give you clues as to your deeper wounds – there is something your inner child wants, eg acceptance or validation, and there is something your inner child wants to forget, eg shame or neglect. Find out what your inner child needs, and what she most wants to heal. Be there for her now.
What do you most need from yourself, your partner, and life that you feel you aren’t receiving? How can you get your needs met in healthy, positive ways?
Are there other addictions in your life? Work with an appropriate therapist to help you uncover the root of any addiction issues.
Start journalling. This is an extremely powerful and safe way to uncover your feelings.
Forgive yourself for not being perfect – no-one is. When we learn from our mistakes we give them a constructive purpose. This is a key step toward feeling worthy enough to attract a healthy relationship into your life, or heal your existing one.
The information above comes from this website, for details >> link
What Girls Said 6
As of right now it sounds like your relationship sucks, and pretty much will end inevitably. If I were you I really wouldn't waste anymore time. A relationship is over when people start mentioning leaving eachother. Means the idea is in their heads (which it takes a lot to get there anyway, obviously not a happy relationship) and they have thought about life without the other person and weighed whether or not its a better idea.
I would say there really is nothing you can do. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's really up to him now. You broke his trust and he is probably disgusted with you that you would have "tried" to sleep with another guy, being drunk is not an excuse. Love conquers all, but that night being horny and alcohol conquered you. You really just have to wait and hope. If you were in his shoes though, how would you feel?
Sometimes the choices we make define our futures and this might be a defining moment for you. For whatever reason you decided to get drunk and try and have sex with some guy that was not your Boyfriend - that's on you. As sorry as I believe you are, that does not stop the pain that he is most likely feeling. Once trust is broken, it takes awhile for it to be built back up - if it even can. The issue at this time seems to be his willingness to forgive you right now, which is his choice. You can't force him to trust or forgive you - that's on him.
My suggestion is to give him space, let him come back to you if he chooses but on her own terms. The old saying is true: If you let some1 go and they return to you - it was meant to be but if you let some1 go and they don't return to you - it was not meant to be.
my ex-boyfriend dumped me 8 months ago after I caught him of having an affair with someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don't know what to do, so I visited the INTERNET for help and I saw a testimony on how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problems to him.. he cast a spell for me and assure me of 24hr that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my peter came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Dr Trust spell, you are truly talented and gifted contact his email: doctorbalaya@gmail. com