I hurt my boyfriend really bad and I want to fix it. How do I do this?

i hurt my boy friend really bad and he wants to leave me. I got black out drunk one night and came back in bed with another guy. I thought we had sex so when my boyfriend came home I was crying really bad and told him I cheated on you. but in the morning the guy texted me and I asked him if we had sex and he said "where you that drunk? we wanted to but I said no you have a boyfriend and you said you where in love with daniel, but no we didn't do anything" so I told my boyfriend that we didn't do anything I just thought we did and he doesn't believe me at all. he feels vary strongly that its the right thing to do by ending it. I can let this happen so I wrote him a letter telling him how I feel from the heart and hoping that it would have helped but all it did was get him to let me try and fix this, his heart...but that's not hows he's looking at this he's looking at this as he's letting me do this if that's what will make me okay with our brake up. he won't say I love you and won't kiss me on the lips. and will only give me a kiss if I ask for it and when I do get one its only on the cheek. I know he's really hurt and feels like sh*t but so do I it feels so bad to have the person I love so much not want me anymore. but because he's letting us be together still just on till I feel okay with leaving...how do I fix are relationship and dix his broken heart and get him feel the love again? I really miss him saying I love you. oh and its only been two days sense this happen. and we live together. and have been together for almost two years and have been though so much and have made it though all of it. so id there also any way I can get him to know that we are ment to be and he needs to trust me that we will make it to the end...

thank you so much for helping. I really need it I can't lose him I know so where in side his head and heart he wants me here still. he's just still really hurt.

my boyfriend said that he forgave me and loves me, but he's trying to be strong enough to end it. he says he doesn't want a relationship right now all they are is pain and suffering. as I was talking to him he said
you act like being with you is disgusting I love you and its going to hurt to leave but it has to be done, and he said he's falling out of love so I said then why are you hurting and he said because it always hurts.
alright so now I gave up and said FUCK IT. and I got alcohol so I can numb the pain and get over him. after I drank a little bit I sat in the bath tub drinking and crying with my ipod. and he came in and sat and said why are you being like we where just.
happy. and I said because I'm going to leave I can't be with you if you don't want me and he said no you can't you didn't let me leave when I wanted to so your stuck with me. we will brake up when both of us want to.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Im really sorry to hear your going through this all and I also completely understand where your man is coming from. He probably wonders if this could happen again, even if you didn't do anything, you could have in his mind. Have you showed him the text messages? My advice is to allow him his time to think things over, its still really fresh, and don't pressure him too much to get over it, then again there's also the alternative of reversing the situation and making him feel bad for wanting to end the relationship for something that didn't even occur. You could also just try to keep things as normal as possible and just say baby I love you, I know you love me, lets put this behind us and I promise I won't ever drink again, especially with other men, cause obviously if I don't know what happened there is a problem, he may just go for it, its still fresh as I said, so you have to be very careful about blowing it up too much, and discussing breaking up as even a possiblity...If he loves you which he obviously does it shouldnt be to hard to get to his heart, and you need not be too remorseful for something you didn't do...I hope it works out , I know how it is to say and do the wrong things while drinking, and sometimes to not even fullly remember...Good Luck

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      Hey! I love your answer it helped the most out of all these answers. we are doing better now, it was weird, I stoped trying so hard and just kinda discited to stop trying and start becoming num, and he started holding me in bed instead of me holding him and he showed he cared instead of just say it. but I'm confused now doses he mean all this or just doing it because he said he doesn't like seeing me like this.