"But he/she didn't even give me a chance!" is an all-too-often lament we have either heard others say or are tempted to say ourselves.
Once in a while, we have even heard stories of someone giving an admiring person a chance in the dating world and it even turned out lovely. My own sister-in-law rejected my brother the first time he asked her out, and yet as the title "sister-in-law" indicates, she eventually said "yes" and later she said "I do." The persistent, love-lorn character who waits day and night in all weathers until the person of his desires gives in and flies into his/her arms is a very common romantic protagonist in many books, plays, poems, and movies. The reality of it is, however, that these situations, when they exist at all in real life, are far more the exception than the rule.
Indeed it's quite normal to think that if only this individual agreed to go out with us, they would have a good time and see the things we have to offer. Some people believe that this refusal to give them a chance in dating stems from a certain heartlessness; the snap judgment of an unfeeling person. Being only human, these are thoughts and feelings I've been tempted to give into myself.
However, it's worth considering that when rejected, no matter how much we long for that proverbial chance, NOT giving us a chance was probably the compassionate thing to do.
Firstly, there are very likely sound reasons for this person rejecting us. In giving us a chance, the odds of it continuing to a second date and then on to a relationship are slim at best. Meanwhile, we will have invested time, money, and emotion into something that was so very unlikely to work out in the first place. All the while, someone who would have enjoyed our company and perhaps even fell in love with us may very well have slipped by while we waste time on someone who may have agreed to date us, but was never into us, and very likely never could be.
Secondly, if the person rejecting you did so for silly or cruel reasons, then doubtless you just dodged a bullet. For that person is foolish and/or cruel, and why on earth would anyone want to be with someone like that?
Lastly and perhaps most important of all, in accepting our offer for a date even though this person isn't really into it, our hearts and minds can be elevated to an even higher plateau...from which we will fall when that person (almost) inevitably has to reject us at some point in the future. If this person is both wise and kind, as well as reasonably certain he/she isn't into us, then he/she doesn't like the prospect of rejecting us, but knows it is kinder, more compassionate to do it quickly from the start, so as not to lift us up and drop us from an even greater height.
In rejecting us quickly and not giving us that chance, that person may very well have done you a kindness by not wasting your time, money, and heart. Thus we are free to pursue someone who can return our affections.
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