Finding a true gentleman can help make your dating experience amazing and that is how it should be. They know how to satisfy women on an emotional level before they deign to venture into the physical realm. They are considerate and kind, without being a complete doormat. However, a Gentlemen can be difficult to identify if you don’t know what you’re looking for.
Thanks to the likes of media and contrary to popular belief, a Gentleman isn’t always smooth and suave. He doesn’t always have the perfect words to put you at ease and may often be unsure. He may sometimes seem weak, but that’s only because he wants to be honest with his shortcomings. A Player, on the other hand, is a tempting prospect, because he knows just how to copy the charming characters you swoon over on TV. So Ladies, here is a little bit of a guide, if anything, on what to look for and, for the Gents, please add what I may have missed and feel free to correct what you feel I may have gotten wrong.... Enjoy!
So, what are the things that make a man a Gentleman?
Being a Gentleman is part of an Individual's personality. But you can’t just hand out personality tests to every guy you want to date (atleast I hope your not planning to 0_0 haha). So here are some of the observable signs that you’re with a Gentleman, I hope for those of you Ladies who are taken that you can see these traits with the Men you are with
1. He communicates his needs and feelings, wants and desires.
An essiential part to any relationship, and important beyond compare, is being able to communicate efficiently and share you thoughts, feelings, and similarly, wants and needs to your partner, and as much as this is a fundermental component in a healthy relationship, it is also a sign of maturity. A man who can let his guard down, and tell you how he is feeling or what’s bothering him or what he wants, feels and needs, is a man who is showing you that he is man enough. He is showing you that you can count on him to help solve problems, express himself, and be able to get through things without escalating the situation with immature responses. This may come easy for some men and may be harder for others but either way, this is something to look for, communication is invaluable.
2. He does not start fights.
Guys, in general, who are immature will often start fights. They may do this for a range of reasons, some of which include to demonstrate bravado, act out emotions of frustration and sometimes anger. Their motives for these fights can be anything from a guy giving them the wrong look to a guy eyeing the girl the this said guy likes.
Gentlemen have less a need to prove themselves, because they are often already confident enough about themselves. They do not go looking for a confrontation. This is not to say that if the need arises they will not protect you, themselves and their loved ones in a situation, this is to say that it will be their last resort.
3. He does not try to make you feel insecure.
Many guys will put you down during a conversation, be that intentioanlly or by mistake and the ways they may do this is vast. They can use back handed compliments, sarcasm, “accidental” pointing out of your insecurities and the list goes on. One of the many reasons men will do this is because they want you to crave their approval. Once you crave their approval, they know that there is a good chance that you will want to get with them. Do not ask me how this works, I really do not know, but I have seen it happen.
Gentlemen do not have a need to do this. They do not like to get involved in these sort of games because going down this path can and often will create long-term problems in a relationship and mature men, Gentlemen, understand this. Also, a gentleman is willing to put the work in to win you over, as opposed to try to manipulate you through your insecurities.
4. Manners. Manners. Manners
It's a given isn't it, but you would be suprised how many people over look this, manners is very very important. It could be something as simple as holding the door for you on the way into a building. But, whatever the case may be, a Gentlemen will always try to behave in a well mannered and kind way. They open doors, they lend coats, they carry groceries. Even if you do not feel the need for them to help you out, they will still make the offer. Gentlemen are often just willing to take that extra step to be courteous and respectful.
5. He genuinely listens to you.
Men who are immature will often not listen very well. Part of the reason is because they are constantly focusing on themselves and their own issues. A Gentleman, on the other hand, will have resolved enough of his own issues, to the point where he can step outside himself, and be there to listen to you or to help you. This can be an extremely important component for a healthy relationship, and can help to make you feel very satisfied with your man. It also builds trust and respect within a relationship, two very important things to have.
6. He holds himself accountable for his actions.
A man who is a Gentleman, and not an immature child, will not try to dodge responsibility for his actions. If he makes a mistake, he will own up to it and he will apologise for it. He will not try to convince you that it was somehow your fault, or try to manipulate you into thinking you read the situation wrong. He will simply accept that he has made an error, and he will look to resolve the situation, with your help if that is the case.
7. There when you need him.
Sometimes, often a times, bad things happen in life and their not planned. A sign of a Gentleman is that he is there to give you support during these times. Some men will simply disappear at the smallest sign of trouble – for example, if you get an injury, or are going through a difficult family problem. Gentlemen, however, will not run the second something goes wrong. Instead they will do the opposite, they will be there, they will listen and give you what you want and need and do the most unexpected things for you to make you happy because your happiness means more ot them, than their own. Remember this.
8. He knows what love is... okay no one knows what it is but he accepts it.
I agree that no one knows what love is, I am in love but I do not know how to describe it with words or numbers or give words for thoughts to imagine, and many men avoid falling in love because of this unknown, and further to that unknown, some feel that it makes them weak and vulnerable. I won't lie, it does make a guy vulnerable, because if anyone wanted to hurt you all they would have to do is go to the one who means more to you than life itself, like My Girlfriend, and I would do anything to get her out of harms way.
Now, despite all of that vulnerability and fear of the unknown, a Gentleman accepts that he does not always have complete control of his emotions and the future. He may fall in love without even knowing it. If he feels love towards you, he acts on it, instead of leaving you guessing if he loves you or not. See, he will shower you with love and expect nothing in return and that is true love, giving your all and wanting nothing in return... it gets no better.
9. He knows how to treat your friends.
Even though he may not have a lot in common with your friends, he will still make the conscious effort to get to know them simply because they’re your friends. A man and a Gentleman does not sulk and complain when he’s in the company of your friends he uses it as an oppitunity to get to know those close to you, even if it’s not his crowd, he will accept that you want to spend time with him and your friends at the same time. But, as much as he may accept you want to spend time with friends, do not mistake his understanding of this for not wanting to be with you because he does. Spend time with your friends but give him priority because more than not, he does scarifice a lot for you, whether you know it or not, whether you want him to or know. So appreciate him.
All in all.
Ladies, you may have been dating all those Players, Losers and Emotionally Unavailable Men, and you’ll find that dating a Gentleman is a breath of fresh air, a welcomed and desired change. And when you do find that the guy you just happen to be dating exhibits all of these qualities, you’ve got yourself a keeper!! Hold him tight, Ladies, and always let him know how much you appreciate him
Best of Luck,