Is he a Gentlemen? 9 sure ways to tell

Is he a Gentlemen? 9 sure ways to tell

Finding a true gentleman can help make your dating experience amazing and that is how it should be. They know how to satisfy women on an emotional level before they deign to venture into the physical realm. They are considerate and kind, without being a complete doormat. However, a Gentlemen can be difficult to identify if you don’t know what you’re looking for.

Thanks to the likes of media and contrary to popular belief, a Gentleman isn’t always smooth and suave. He doesn’t always have the perfect words to put you at ease and may often be unsure. He may sometimes seem weak, but that’s only because he wants to be honest with his shortcomings. A Player, on the other hand, is a tempting prospect, because he knows just how to copy the charming characters you swoon over on TV. So Ladies, here is a little bit of a guide, if anything, on what to look for and, for the Gents, please add what I may have missed and feel free to correct what you feel I may have gotten wrong.... Enjoy!

So, what are the things that make a man a Gentleman?

Being a Gentleman is part of an Individual's personality. But you can’t just hand out personality tests to every guy you want to date (atleast I hope your not planning to 0_0 haha). So here are some of the observable signs that you’re with a Gentleman, I hope for those of you Ladies who are taken that you can see these traits with the Men you are with

1. He communicates his needs and feelings, wants and desires.

An essiential part to any relationship, and important beyond compare, is being able to communicate efficiently and share you thoughts, feelings, and similarly, wants and needs to your partner, and as much as this is a fundermental component in a healthy relationship, it is also a sign of maturity. A man who can let his guard down, and tell you how he is feeling or what’s bothering him or what he wants, feels and needs, is a man who is showing you that he is man enough. He is showing you that you can count on him to help solve problems, express himself, and be able to get through things without escalating the situation with immature responses. This may come easy for some men and may be harder for others but either way, this is something to look for, communication is invaluable.

2. He does not start fights.

Guys, in general, who are immature will often start fights. They may do this for a range of reasons, some of which include to demonstrate bravado, act out emotions of frustration and sometimes anger. Their motives for these fights can be anything from a guy giving them the wrong look to a guy eyeing the girl the this said guy likes.

Gentlemen have less a need to prove themselves, because they are often already confident enough about themselves. They do not go looking for a confrontation. This is not to say that if the need arises they will not protect you, themselves and their loved ones in a situation, this is to say that it will be their last resort.

3. He does not try to make you feel insecure.

Many guys will put you down during a conversation, be that intentioanlly or by mistake and the ways they may do this is vast. They can use back handed compliments, sarcasm, “accidental” pointing out of your insecurities and the list goes on. One of the many reasons men will do this is because they want you to crave their approval. Once you crave their approval, they know that there is a good chance that you will want to get with them. Do not ask me how this works, I really do not know, but I have seen it happen.

Gentlemen do not have a need to do this. They do not like to get involved in these sort of games because going down this path can and often will create long-term problems in a relationship and mature men, Gentlemen, understand this. Also, a gentleman is willing to put the work in to win you over, as opposed to try to manipulate you through your insecurities.

4. Manners. Manners. Manners

It's a given isn't it, but you would be suprised how many people over look this, manners is very very important. It could be something as simple as holding the door for you on the way into a building. But, whatever the case may be, a Gentlemen will always try to behave in a well mannered and kind way. They open doors, they lend coats, they carry groceries. Even if you do not feel the need for them to help you out, they will still make the offer. Gentlemen are often just willing to take that extra step to be courteous and respectful.

5. He genuinely listens to you.

Men who are immature will often not listen very well. Part of the reason is because they are constantly focusing on themselves and their own issues. A Gentleman, on the other hand, will have resolved enough of his own issues, to the point where he can step outside himself, and be there to listen to you or to help you. This can be an extremely important component for a healthy relationship, and can help to make you feel very satisfied with your man. It also builds trust and respect within a relationship, two very important things to have.

6. He holds himself accountable for his actions.

A man who is a Gentleman, and not an immature child, will not try to dodge responsibility for his actions. If he makes a mistake, he will own up to it and he will apologise for it. He will not try to convince you that it was somehow your fault, or try to manipulate you into thinking you read the situation wrong. He will simply accept that he has made an error, and he will look to resolve the situation, with your help if that is the case.

7. There when you need him.

Sometimes, often a times, bad things happen in life and their not planned. A sign of a Gentleman is that he is there to give you support during these times. Some men will simply disappear at the smallest sign of trouble – for example, if you get an injury, or are going through a difficult family problem. Gentlemen, however, will not run the second something goes wrong. Instead they will do the opposite, they will be there, they will listen and give you what you want and need and do the most unexpected things for you to make you happy because your happiness means more ot them, than their own. Remember this.

8. He knows what love is... okay no one knows what it is but he accepts it.

I agree that no one knows what love is, I am in love but I do not know how to describe it with words or numbers or give words for thoughts to imagine, and many men avoid falling in love because of this unknown, and further to that unknown, some feel that it makes them weak and vulnerable. I won't lie, it does make a guy vulnerable, because if anyone wanted to hurt you all they would have to do is go to the one who means more to you than life itself, like My Girlfriend, and I would do anything to get her out of harms way.

Now, despite all of that vulnerability and fear of the unknown, a Gentleman accepts that he does not always have complete control of his emotions and the future. He may fall in love without even knowing it. If he feels love towards you, he acts on it, instead of leaving you guessing if he loves you or not. See, he will shower you with love and expect nothing in return and that is true love, giving your all and wanting nothing in return... it gets no better.

9. He knows how to treat your friends.

Even though he may not have a lot in common with your friends, he will still make the conscious effort to get to know them simply because they’re your friends. A man and a Gentleman does not sulk and complain when he’s in the company of your friends he uses it as an oppitunity to get to know those close to you, even if it’s not his crowd, he will accept that you want to spend time with him and your friends at the same time. But, as much as he may accept you want to spend time with friends, do not mistake his understanding of this for not wanting to be with you because he does. Spend time with your friends but give him priority because more than not, he does scarifice a lot for you, whether you know it or not, whether you want him to or know. So appreciate him.

All in all.

Ladies, you may have been dating all those Players, Losers and Emotionally Unavailable Men, and you’ll find that dating a Gentleman is a breath of fresh air, a welcomed and desired change. And when you do find that the guy you just happen to be dating exhibits all of these qualities, you’ve got yourself a keeper!! Hold him tight, Ladies, and always let him know how much you appreciate him

Best of Luck,

Mark


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What Girls Said 17

  • Agree completely =)

    Just so you know - The League of Gentlemen is the creepiest show I've ever seen! Has nothing to do with gentlemen at all. Weird choice of TV show! O. o

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    • Thanks :D

      Hahahahaha yeah... I had no idea that was show or even a thing, I just liked that League Of Gentlemen picture :L Sorry for any memories or experiences that may have brought back :L :)

  • really nice take

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  • Can you create one from your factory for me?

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  • I agree. I would prefer to date a gentleman! :)

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    • :) Yeah, there are some traits a man should possess regardless but some (most) do not, sadly. Hopefully, you find the man one day :)

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    • Right, I agree. You gotta wonder about those with hidden agendas, if it's just for selfish reasons or actual malicious intent. I like to follow the golden rule of "Treat others the way you wanted to be treated". :)

    • Exactly that, you never know with people, things can change in the blink of an eye :L
      And yeah, thats the way everyone should go through life, things would be much more pleasant, and we can only hope people want to be treated in a pleasant way haha

  • Cool cool 😃

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  • I guess... It needs more.

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  • This take goes alright ;) <3

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  • I really enjoyed this take it was rreally good !!! Sadly gentleman these ddays are quite hard to find.

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    • Thanks :) I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
      And yeah, I hear you :( Its sad but hey, don't lose hope :) Never know, he must just be around the corner, all it takes is that split second you lose hope for him to walk on by

    • Hahaa you give me hope :)

    • :) Thanks haha
      Best of luck :) You'll be fine

  • This is an eye opener. All ladies want a gentleman and some mistake a good actor for a gentleman. You summed it up pretty well.

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    • Yeah that they do, hopefully they find that man one day :) and thank you!

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    • Likewise.

    • Much obliged :) any questions or anything, you know where to find me

  • Awesome Take bro.. I really enjoyed it..

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  • I am sad that there aren't more men and young men that are actually thinking on these things.. that is what makes a relationship healthy and what works. Kudos to you for thinking on these things at such a young age.. Awesome take.

    I am especially sad that folks on this post believe this is a dying breed or "It really is a passive way of shaming men." That sounds like an immature man that is controlling and does not want to be controlled which is counter to love.. in love you have to be willing to take a risk and be open to feelings. I am sad that this world is not teaching young men and ladies how to just be decent and respectful to one another.. you know common horse sense. And lastly, love is defined in the bible in Corinthians.. Love is patient, love is kind, love does not boast, or demand its own way, it is not jealous or rude; it hopes and bears all things... etc.

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    • Respect goes both ways, you know. Why should a man open a door for me, if I wouldn't open a door for him?

    • I totally agree.. respect goes both ways.. and for both sexes.. I do not think the scripture in the bible was aimed at one or the other sexes...

    • I couldn't agree more, things would be much bettter, positive and happier if both sides were to be more mature about things like this and accept that what we have control over is limited to say the least
      and thank you for that :) I appreciate it

  • And by "being a gentleman", you mean "being sexist". Women can open their own doors and carry their own bags. This kind of thinking is dangerous. I've seen women who verbally abuse their boyfriends for not pulling up their chair for them!

    Courtesy is the way to go, chivalry and "being a gentleman" is just 1950's sexism.

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    • I love how you're getting mass-downvoted by women who endorse sexism like this.

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    • Im a guy who agrees with kira. why can't we see as equals and not judge over who pays the bill. who opens doors and all that bullshit.

      at the same time, if im paying the bill or doing something nice does not mean i am being sexist. i cover n pay for my guy friends all the time and certainly dont expect sex from them

    • HAHAHAHAHA!! This comment is so lame!

      Ha!

  • You do know what The League of Gentlemen is don't you?

    WE DIDN'T BURN THEM!

    www.starburstmagazine.com/.../...nceofthelambs.jpg

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  • I think this will help me find my husband 😊

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    • Haha glad to hear it :) I wish you all the best :) Just don't ever give up

  • YES! thank you for describing my fiance :-D
    He is def. a keeper

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    • Haha no worries, and yeah, hold on to the man hahahaha :") Sadly, their a rare breed these days

  • I love this take!

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  • Aammmmaazzinngg take!

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    • Hahaha cheers :) You reckon those were pretty spot on? Maybe some you'd add or remove?

What Guys Said 13

  • I know what love is.

    I feel excited knowing that I will be seeing her again soon. I feel happy when I am with her. I know that I can live without her. . . but I don't want to. When she is happy, I share in her joy. When she is sad, I want to console her. If she cries, I want her head to be on my shoulder. I want to be the one who she knows will always be there for her. I want to be a better person for her.

    Her birthday is February 14.

    When she talks about herself, I am not waiting for my next opportunity to talk, but I am actually listening to her; when she says something about her likes or dislikes, I remember because I want to give her things that she likes and I want to shield her from things that she dislikes.

    Since I met her, its seems as if it has been raining less.

    I want to see her face when I wake up in the morning and I know that she is beautiful before she applies any makeup. She is 63 years old and she never entered a beauty contest but I know she is beautiful.

    I don't have her on a pedestal, I know that she has faults, but I adore her anyway. Every time I look at her, I smile. When she reaches for my hand and wraps her fingers around mine, I feel special. When I have my arms around her, the rest of the world does not exist. Every time we kiss, I feel excited. Whenever I think about my future, I see her standing by my side.

    Today, I am sending her a love letter to tell her how I feel because I feel that I will explode if I don't confess my love for her. This is love. I know because I am in love.

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  • Yes League of Gentlemen!!! So great.

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  • whats the point of a girlfriend if i can't bust her balls all day? i agree with most of this except the 'make her feel insecure ' part

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    • Why would you want to bust her balls mate?

    • cuz teasing back and forth is part of any relationship... at least to me

    • Teasing is one thing, I tease my Girlfriend, making her feel bad, now thats a whole nother story altogether

  • Some of it is true, but a lot of ladies don't want a guy who completely bows down to them, women know they make mistakes at times and aren't perfect and don't expect a guy to be 100 % emotionally understanding.

    Most women I've found seem to like a guy who focuses on his life more but can still do basic things right, if you bow down to them too much some will see you as a pushover and more like a girl.

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    • Agreed, with everything there is a limit and a line, the trick is being able to walk both

  • Being a gentleman is a blast; it repels unloyal females and I take on with nice genuine girls who are a lot of fun to be with. I just wish all gentlemen are noticed, they feel like dressing cool and having the best hair is the only way, sadly.

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    • Sadly that the is the truth mate but I'm gald to see chivalry and gentlemen are not a dying breed, don't change your ways Bud, best of wishes :)

  • You pretty much described me perfectly. Great take :)

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  • Really nice things to read , but not so many women these days like the *gentle man* approach , they prefer *other* methods of treatment for reasons beyond my understanding

    Still , nice to know some people still know these things

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    • I hear you mate, some things we both or men in general will never understand but they are what they are, all we can do is try haha

    • Yeah sure

  • Admitted... I have some properties of a gentleman but I have a lot to learn :o
    Nice take!

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    • Haha o there it is, that down vote Mate, sorry hate to break it to you but you got more to teach than learn haha and thanks Bud :)

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    • Pleasure's mine, mate :)

  • CHECKING IN.

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  • If men were fish then you ladies will need some serious fishing gear to fish up this mythical gentleman fish. They do exist but they are either married, taken or gay.

    The remaining few are going to be extinct or soon to be hunted down by the females.

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  • None of these are characteristics of a gentleman... except 1or 2.

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  • so then what is a women?

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  • Gentleman is a word used to control male actions. If you don't act the way women demand you aren't a Gentleman basically.

    It really is a passive way of shaming men.

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    • Each to their own, I disagree with you on this

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    • @LightsOff being a woman does not entitle you to getting a servant. Open your own doors, or be prepared to open mine as well. Why should men treat women like princesses and do all these things for them, if women aren't going to do the same things back?

    • @Maverickj gee you're making a lot of assumptions there. Where did I say that I don't open doors myself and for other people? Where did I say I want to be treated like a princess? All Take owner really wrote in this mytake is how to be a decent human being towards your girlfriend, not "how to be a girl's servant". Which is why I think it's ridiculous that OP here went completely off tangent and started talking about being controlled? Nobody here said anything about becoming a servant or treating someone like a princess. If you think you're being "controlled" just because society kind of expects you to not act like a total dick, then man, you've got some low standards for yourself.

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