Why Self-Proclaimed "Nice Guys/Girls" Are Still Single (Page 2)
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hmmm I always though that ugly nice people get rejected nice good looking people get dates. People need to stop making up things in order to cover up the fact that LOOKS are 80% of the equation if personality was a factor then all these hot girls wouldn't friendzone fat/nerdy guys. Guys like chick with pretty faces and nices bodies (curvy or thin) girls are the same just wake up
"Adjust your expectations to a more realistic level" lol.
I only needed to skim this take to find an outrageous line. These "nice guys/girls" bashing takes are quite disheartening about our society.
"These "nice guys/girls" bashing takes are quite disheartening about our society. "
I absolutely agree, but the advantage is on their side. It's a form of extreme reverse psychology. Complain about takes like this, and people basically say "oh well I guess the take was talking about you and you are a self proclaimed nice person wow you are such a loser!!!".
Although, the pic at the bottom was very well balanced compared to some other takes I've seen here. But yeah, endless takes and Internet culture bashing nice guys/girls isn't a very good sign at all, no matter how much people on the Internet try to justify their scorn.
Oh, and take a look at the usage of memes here, and the stereotyping against men in the comments below. The people that seem to base their Internet existence off bashing nice people tend to be very angry people themselves. This place is like a Tumblr and 4chan hybrid.
@RandomUsername3464 lol @ the tumblr and 4chan hybrid simile, although it's scary how easily this could become a 4chan if mods suddenly stop clamping down on under 18 inappropriate how do I looks. shudder worthy..
The nice guy/girl bashing (really just nice guy bashing disguised in a politically correct way) is a fad. I can't think of any instance where a guy, in anger after being rejected, has exclaimed "I'm a nice guy!!".
Sure guys have complained once or twice about bad boys and, truth be told, bad boy relationships usually only ever survive in films even then the guy has to reform, girls seeking guys who need fixing is a habit that's dropped by, latest mid 20s, and it's not even a common habit. For guys the habit's lifespan tends to vary greatly.
It's only in the past month and only on gag, that I've heard girls decrying "nice guys" complaining, and to be frank it comes off as really self centred.
Yeah, I do agree it's a fad, since I've only seen it explode in the past 2 years or so and I was always pretty in-tune to this sort of stuff, generally speaking. Anyone that disagrees with the fad is bound to get some nasty hate thrown their way - trust me, I would know. I've seen it other guys and even girls too.
I guess what bothers me more than anything about it is that they automatically assume that someone like me has high standards. Character limit is too small for me to elaborate, but no, I don't have high standards. And I *never* go around in public or on the Internet telling people how nice I am. I hardly see that with other guys, too.
People often assume that I am a 500 pound fat guy with a tuxedo and a top-hat because I disagree with a toxic meme often found in cesspools, and that also bothers the shit out of me. They have no idea what I look like, but apparently I'm the one with the problem, even though they spend their virtual lives bashing nice people.
@RandomUsername3464 The fat-fedora bs is from films by the way. The sidekick side character who HAS to be fat and HAS to wear a fedora so that viewers don't get confused over who the love interests should be, lol.
They try and do the same thing with girls by the way, but they're weary of feminism, so they make the girl slightly less good looking and give her an annoying personality.
-shakes head- really we're beating this dead horse of a topic to death again?
It's like a broken record, isn't it? I should make one just for the fun of it.
@UnknownXYZ yeah it kinda is lol.
Being a gentlemen, only works if she is YOUR lady and vice versa. Dont be a prick but dont be a push-over either. Starting to learn that the hard way.
so a good human must have a partner no matter what? on the contrary the best people choose to stay free and give themselves to humanity. they dedicate their lives in the help of others. and its not only that. as a christian 1) i dont care about a premarital relationship and 2) indeed i dont have the money to be a husband and a father but i dont care about that either. and if i found a wife id like her to be a same minded one, not a secular woman.
Ok can you help me then I am labeled as nice I'm am shy introverted, I'm not attractive the pic is just a attempt to raise my pissed poor selfesteem I'm boring cause I really don't have friends or a social life it's just work and home for me
Amid the straw-man arguments is the truthful admission that the prevailing code of morality, the false morality of altruism, turns women off.
could you explain what you mean by "prevailing code of morality"?
@Bandit74 The code of morality that almost everyone accepts: altruism. Whatever political views you have, whatever religion or lack thereof you have, whatever hobbies or personality you have, it is almost certain that you accept altruism, perhaps even unthinkingly. Perhaps, 'prevailing' is too weak a word. 'Near-universal' might be a better choice.
So in layman's terms you're saying that girls are most attracted to guys who primarily care about themselves and ignore the needs of others?
@Bandit74 Well, firstly, let's address a big false dichotomy: either you sacrifice yourself to others, or you sacrifice others to yourself. To see why that is a false dichotomy, you need only to examine a statement such as, "Either you go around raping others, or you tolerate being raped yourself. There are no alternatives". Of course, there's an alternative: don't rape, and don't tolerate being raped!
I say merely that women are repulsed by altruistic men, in other words the men who sacrifice themselves to others. I don't say that women prefer men who sacrifice others to themselves (the faux-'selfish' men) over men who neither sacrifice others to themselves nor sacrifice themselves to others (the truly selfish men). I think it's a toss-up, but I haven't given it much thought. But, in a way, it's a moot point, because a truly selfish man wouldn't want most women who exist now and because very few truly selfish men exist anyway.
That's a good point, I guess I oversimplified it.
Why are the men who sacrifice others to themselves the faux-'selfish' men?
wouldn't they be the truly selfish?
@Bandit74 No, because being selfish means rationally pursuing what is objectively in your self-interest. It doesn't mean doing whatever you feel like. Reality exists. Facts are facts. Therefore, "It's good for me because I feel like it" is invalid. Sacrifice is wrong for me for the exact same reason that it is wrong for you and for every other person in existence. Therefore, if I sacrifice you or anyone to myself, I cannot rationally justify why it would be wrong for me to be sacrificed. I would in effect be signing my own death warrant.
How do you objectively determine what is in your self interest?
I'm still not getting how sacrificing someone else hurts you.
@Bandit74 You find out through the only means of knowledge, the fauclty of reason. You can be mistaken of course, but one thing's certain: you cannot get knowledge through any other means.
As for why sacrificing others is not in your self-interest, what is morality firstly? Morality is a code of values to guide one's actions. What is a value? A value is something that one acts to gain or to keep. All living things have values, and indeed only living things have values. But, only living things with free will (humans) have morality. We have choice, and we can make the wrong choices. Since only a human's life makes it necessary or even possible for him to have a morality, the standard of morality is his life. In other words, the true morality is selfishness. But, that is something true of all persons. So, if you deny it of anyone else, you cannot justify it for yourself.
What sort of things qualify as sacrificing others?
could you give an example/scenario of a faux selfish person making a choice
and then show how the truly selfish person would act within that same scenario
False morality? That is an impossibility, simply because morality isn't bound to truths or falsehoods. It is bound to perception. At the very core it is based on individual perception. So while you may say that you don't agree that altruism is a morally good thing, that is simply your perception, where as I personally find that altruism is the example of the pinnacle of moral goodness.
You might be the second smartest male on this site. Much respect man.
I was gonna post but you pretty much covered my point
@Bandit74 You see a homeless beggar in the street. What do you do? 1. If you're altruistic, you give him money almost without question. If you do refuse him money, it's not because of what the money can do for you. Perhaps it's because you worry that he will buy drugs with it and kill himself. 2. If you're faux-'selfish', you laugh at him, maybe even beat him up, or at the very least you revel silently in your superiority to him. 3. If you're truly selfish, you view his homelessness as a tragedy but not anything that places an obligation on you. You don't feel guilty. If you do give him money, it is out of benevolence, not sacrifice. In other words, it is because in that case helping him helps you. Perhaps he started an interesting conversation, and you want to reward him and to encourage such friendliness. But, most likely, you wouldn't give him any money, because it would do no good to you
@Nice_Guys_Last I didn't say that people didn't have different opinions on the matter. That is true of any subject, from evolution to economics. But, facts are facts. And the fact is, morality is possible, and morality is necessary, only because of a human's life, and therefore a human's life is the standard of morality.
@Gommers and @Aristotle Thanks!
@Nice_Guy_Last
what about in terms of dating and sex?
So the altruistic guys are the nice guys
the truly selfish are the mgtow
and the faux selfish are the players
correct?
@Bandit74 Yes, except that I don't think we have got to the point where going MGTOW would be the truly selfish thing to do, but I do think that being very selective indeed would be truly selfish.
thats an interesting way to look at things.
Im still not sure i agree with it though. "Therefore, if I sacrifice you or anyone to myself, I cannot rationally justify why it would be wrong for me to be sacrificed. I would in effect be signing my own death warrant"
I still believe selfish people are the ones who use others for their own gain. Refusing to use others for your own gain doesn't prevent others from using you, nor does using others guarantee that others will use you. So I still dont see that refusing to use others is looking out for your own needs.
@evenlift I can't disagree with that, but what I am saying is that a specific morality cannot be falsified, because morality, while existent merely because man perceives, is not dichotomous. Yes and no do not apply to the greater understanding of a specific morality. Again, perception is the only tool by which we measure morality. Just because an individual may not agree with it, it is not up to the individual to determine the quality of morality. That is up to the whole of society.
@Bandit74 I never said there is anything wrong with using others. On the contrary that is good. When you employ someone or become friends with someone or enter a relationship with someone, you are using that person. But, there is a difference between a mutually beneficial exchange and a sacrifice.
You might as well say, "If I oppose rape, that doesn't guarantee that I won't be raped". True. But, you would certainly be putting yourself and the people you care about in more danger by promoting the view that rape is OK for some people.
@Nice_Guy_Last A morality can be falsified, and I have demonstrated that.
From what I can piece together from your argument, you say that altruism is a false morality merely because it turns off women? I mean, if your life revolves around only what women think or say, then sure (although I really would need to see some statistics before I even begin to agree with you on whether or not women are turned off by altruism). Some people see altruism in many different lights. While, yes, selfish acts lend themselves to the survival of the fittest nature of basic biology, humans have developed an even better means to growing our population: the progress of the whole. If a single person could save a group, at the cost of the individuals life, then his/her actions would be destructive to the self, but in a wider scope, would be for the betterment of the species. This trait of giving when it would hurt one's own chances of survival makes humans stronger, more capable of surviving harsh conditions.
@Nice_Guy_Last On the contrary, I explained why altruism is wrong. I didn't say that the reason was that it turns off women. I also said that I think it's a toss-up whether women are more turned on by truly selfish men or by faux-'selfish' men, though I added that it's a moot point and I explained why. Please re-read.
I'm not advocating the law of the jungle in any sense. On the contrary, that is what my collectivist opponents are advocating: 'might is right'. I advocate respect for the rights and for the pursuit of happiness of every individual. The evolution of the species is not any concern.
Ah, I see your argument now. Forgive me, I missed your explanation on morality and value. I do agree with your definitions of both, but I find that perception is the guide to morality.
In feudal Japan, honor was more important than human life itself, and thus, practice of Seppuku arose. It is by no means in the favor of the individual's life to commit ritualistic suicide, and yet, that was moral choice when facing a moment of great dishonor. Any other society at that time period, however, would have seen that morality as bizarre and incorrect, yet it was the way of life within Japan. Such is the way of morality: it is all about perception. Thus, you may say that altruism is morally wrong, but that is merely your own subjective opinion, and it is my own subjective opinion that says that altruism is the pinnacle of morality.
@Nice_Guy_Last Again, I am not denying that people disagree about morality. But, the same could be said about any topic.
I'm not going to try to impress anyone but myself. If you're not interested? ON TO THE NEXT ONE!
I like to think I am single because I want to be... But, I'd probably get turned down if I asked chicks out... that and I'm not a very nice person to begin with
None of this exist all of this is bs real talk if she's not into it's simply that, I mean if a beautiful girl was nice to me I'd still smash & keep her around
couldn't have put it better myself. being nice is not enough
You make an excellent point, but as someone who can relate to some of the issues mentioned: changing is much easier said than done.
Being nice goes for a lot more than half those other things you listed anyway. What's anything without kindness?
nice girls are careful, "nice guys" dont bother to workout or work on their personality
Cos we don't flirt, oh a women still go for the bad boy till about 23 when they start realising they want someone to possibly settle down with
So lower your standards aka lie to get a date? What would you do if you really liked someone and then they told you that they're only with you because you said or they knew that you were going to say yes?
Yeah I've done that before and it's a waste of time and unfair to the other person. Having been rebounded before, I couldn't imagine doing it to another person. I mean in a way I sorta have but it ended because of the distance and not being able to see each other often. There's no point in dating just to date. If I'm not happy with the person I'm with then why does it matter what others think?
Its not bitchy girls that get dates where I live. Its damsels in distress. But I agree that being nice isn't enough.
Humans attract each other based on primal instincts. Modern society is a fucking illusion and a joke. Humans are still animals in the end.
heh. never knew nice guys were still single after all this time. i just thought they can't get the girls really want and therefore have to settle for average-looking girls.
false sense of entitlement. or not realising it's not fair lool.